*Standard disclaimers*
**Shonen ai**
Shisou: Kurama
Once Bitten, Twice Shy
By Take (October 1999)
I hate you, you know.
Well, that's not exactly true - it's more like I love you, as vibrantly, passionately, and wholeheartedly as I know how.
Damn you. It happened so gradually, I didn't even know what had taken place. This wasn't supposed to happen, dammit! You're my best friend, not some potential lover!
I've only truly loved and cared for three people before I met you. One I lost on a heist gone bad. One lives in constant danger of the clients she works with. The last I almost lost to an illness - would have lost her, if not for a cocky, reckless young Reikai Tantei. But I guess they don't count; Takemi and 'kaasan are family, and Kuronue might as well have been. What I feel for you however.
When I lost Kuronue, I shut myself off, only opening up to my sister, and even then I still held myself slightly aloof. 'Kemi understood; it's her forte, dealing with things like this. I'd been hurt emotionally before, but Kuronue had always been there, the best friend and consoler. Suddenly he was gone, leaving a void in my life.and my heart. I started putting barriers around myself that could've rivaled the ones surrounding you.
It took a human woman to bring them crashing down. A human woman and a Forbidden Child.
Curse you. I promised myself this wouldn't happen again; experience should've taught me by now that if you get too close, you'll be hurt. But did I listen? Oh no; instead of killing you I took you home and tended your wounds, eventually becoming your friend.
Do you know that I watch you, whenever we're together? You never noticed, ne? - The way I'd watch; the way I feel must be stamped on my forehead. After all, I only do everything I can think of to get you to notice me as something more than a friend. And you just carry on, oblivious as ever. Sometimes I envision myself clubbing you over the head and dragging you off for a nice long talk.
Inari, I'm pathetic, ne? My youko side is laughing his ass off at the moment. Pitiful. I don't know why I'm so angry with myself - no, that's a lie. I'm angry because I don't have the guts to just come right out and tell you how I feel; my cool seems to have forsaken me. And I nag you about Yukina. What a hypocrite.
I really do hate you for making me feel this miserable. Why couldn't you have been like all the others? Maybe then I wouldn't have fallen in love with you, dammit. They say love hurts. Whoever 'they' are was right; it does, badly. 'Cos you'll probably never look at me the way I want you to, or feel the way I do about you. And though I'd never hurt you, there are times when I'd cheerfully like to kill you.
See what you've done? I'm in love with you. Kuso.
Stupid Koorime.
~Owari~
**Shonen ai**
Shisou: Kurama
Once Bitten, Twice Shy
By Take (October 1999)
I hate you, you know.
Well, that's not exactly true - it's more like I love you, as vibrantly, passionately, and wholeheartedly as I know how.
Damn you. It happened so gradually, I didn't even know what had taken place. This wasn't supposed to happen, dammit! You're my best friend, not some potential lover!
I've only truly loved and cared for three people before I met you. One I lost on a heist gone bad. One lives in constant danger of the clients she works with. The last I almost lost to an illness - would have lost her, if not for a cocky, reckless young Reikai Tantei. But I guess they don't count; Takemi and 'kaasan are family, and Kuronue might as well have been. What I feel for you however.
When I lost Kuronue, I shut myself off, only opening up to my sister, and even then I still held myself slightly aloof. 'Kemi understood; it's her forte, dealing with things like this. I'd been hurt emotionally before, but Kuronue had always been there, the best friend and consoler. Suddenly he was gone, leaving a void in my life.and my heart. I started putting barriers around myself that could've rivaled the ones surrounding you.
It took a human woman to bring them crashing down. A human woman and a Forbidden Child.
Curse you. I promised myself this wouldn't happen again; experience should've taught me by now that if you get too close, you'll be hurt. But did I listen? Oh no; instead of killing you I took you home and tended your wounds, eventually becoming your friend.
Do you know that I watch you, whenever we're together? You never noticed, ne? - The way I'd watch; the way I feel must be stamped on my forehead. After all, I only do everything I can think of to get you to notice me as something more than a friend. And you just carry on, oblivious as ever. Sometimes I envision myself clubbing you over the head and dragging you off for a nice long talk.
Inari, I'm pathetic, ne? My youko side is laughing his ass off at the moment. Pitiful. I don't know why I'm so angry with myself - no, that's a lie. I'm angry because I don't have the guts to just come right out and tell you how I feel; my cool seems to have forsaken me. And I nag you about Yukina. What a hypocrite.
I really do hate you for making me feel this miserable. Why couldn't you have been like all the others? Maybe then I wouldn't have fallen in love with you, dammit. They say love hurts. Whoever 'they' are was right; it does, badly. 'Cos you'll probably never look at me the way I want you to, or feel the way I do about you. And though I'd never hurt you, there are times when I'd cheerfully like to kill you.
See what you've done? I'm in love with you. Kuso.
Stupid Koorime.
~Owari~