iHave Conflicted Feelings

Author's Note: Even though I'm 19, I adore iCarly! I'm going to try this story and see where it goes. Definitely a Creddie fan, but this story is going to have a little bit of Seddie, too. First shot at anything involving iCarly. In fact, I dropped my other two stories (so ignore those)...it's the first time I've written in over a year, so be nice! However, thoughtful criticism is greatly appreciated. P.S. I take pride in my grammar knowledge, so if you see any errors or typos, please let me know so that they can be fixed immediately! Thank you! Hope you enjoy the story :)

ยป Kristen Nicole

Disclaimer: I do not own or pretend to own iCarly, or any of Dan Schneider's characters. I just love writing about them!

Carly Shay walked through the front door and ran straight to her bedroom.

It had been another one of those days. Those endless, merciless days, where all she could do was silently steal glimpses of Freddie Benson, and hope that one day he would reapproach her with his desire to be in a relationship. Unfortunately, it had been a year since the taco truck accident, and he had shown no signs of wanting to resume being together. Hadn't he assured her that the moment the "hero" title had worn off, that they would try again? Well, it had been a total lie. Her hero had lied to her, and never returned.

Now Carly was all whipped up, and didn't know how to let out her anger. Frustrated and confused, she grabbed her Pear Phone and texted Samantha Puckett, hoping that seeing her delinquent best friend would cheer her up; she certainly needed it. She was not, however, going to mention Freddie; she was feeling down enough without Sam's hurtful banter.

Freddie sighed heavily as he tossed his knapsack aside and yanked his Pear Book into his lap.

Something had to change. He was so sick of watching Carly with her head in the clouds during class. Everytime he turned to look at her beautiful face, she was spaced out in her own little world, no doubt thinking about her and Sam's flavor of the week boy.

The last moment he had felt truly alone with Carly was in those horrid woods when they had gone searching for Bigfoot. Those "wrestling" squirrels had ruined an important moment for Freddie. With Sam sound asleep and Spencer out of sight, it had been the perfect opportunity to remind Carly that he still wanted to be with her. The hero phase had been over for some time, and he felt like he was finally ready. He was up to facing possible rejection, because he had to try, right? Except, he didn't. Those stupid squirrels sucked the romance out of their isolation, and just when the disgusted hype was finally settling away, Spencer obnoxiously tumbled into the RV, effectively blocking any other chances.

Once his computer had started up, Freddie logged on to SplashFace, updating his status to "Freddie Benson doesn't know what to do next," and his mood to "Confused," then resumed his ponderings.

Now, almost a year later, he still couldn't bring himself to do it. He missed Carly dearly, but didn't have it in him to tell her that. He had waited far too long; all of his confidence had crumbled. It really didn't help that Sam was always making him sound or look so stupid and undesirable.

Sam. That girl was a school-yard bully in high school form. The only emotions of which she was capable were mean, meaner, and meanest. It was too bad, Freddie mused, that she took to being such a tomboy. He remembered that day at the Groovy Smoothie when Sam had tried to become more "girly" simply to win the affections of a boy...though he preferred her luxurious blonde curls to her stick-straight locks, there was no denying that Sam had looked hot. Hot like her possibly fictitious twin sister, Melanie. He still didn't believe that Sam had had a twin, though. Which meant that Sam really had kissed him, again.

Sam had kissed him again!

What was up with that girl? She couldn't make up her mind. She had kissed him twice now, and spent the rest of her time absolutely hating him. Was it some sort of crazy denial? Or, maybe she was just trying to protect Carly's feelings. If that was the case, she was way off. Carly didn't feel anything romantic for him. Sam, on the other hand, was a definite possibility. But, the question was, how did Freddie feel about Sam? Whatever it was, he was pretty sure that it wasn't positive. That was enough to keep him from going down that road...for now.

Sam was already in the lobby ignoring Lewbert's wails of insanity about God knows what as she received Carly's text message. It was clearly meant to sound happy, but Sam knew her best friend well enough to be able to tell the difference.

Though it usually wasn't too difficult for Sam to cheer up Carly, she wasn't exactly feeling up to the task today. All throughout Miss Briggs' class, she'd suddenly caught herself daydreaming about someone who she never would have expected: Freddie. She couldn't help it. Somehow, watching him move around props and go about his geeky technological chizz during the show had become a favorite pastime of hers. What was up with her? She had to shake this disgusting new line of thought before it turned into something bigger, like a disgusting crush. Besides, Freddie was Carly's boy. He was hopelessly devoted to the girl. Could she blame him, though? Carly definitely knew how to embrace her inner daffodility, and she certainly had her beat in the prettiness department. And, Sam wasn't entirely sure, but she thought that there had been a few moments when she'd caught Carly staring longingly at Freddie during class.

No, Freddie most definitely was not her boy; he was Carly's.

Carly had nearly dozed off when she heard Sam bust into the studio.

"Rise and shine, Miss Shay. We have rehearsal tonight, and if I don't get to miss it, neither do you!" she said as she bounced onto the edge of Carly's bed.

"No practice tonight. Cancel it. Need sleep." Carly rolled so that her body was turned away from the obnoxious blonde ball of energy.

"Tough chizz, Carls. I'm gonna go get your boyfriend, so you'd better be awake and sparkling when we get back!" Carly had been far too groggy to take note of the resent in Sam's voice, which was probably for the best.

"My boyfriend? Who?" Clearly still half asleep, she was unable to form complete sentences.

"Fredopher, Carls. Fredopher. Be back in a sec," she rolled her eyes as Carly mumbled "Is not, Sam," and ran in the direction of Freddie's apartment.

Freddie was quite lost in thought as he gazed at Carly's profile picture. His reverie was interrupted, though, when Sam started beating on his door.

"Come on, Fredward, get your tech-dork self out here and do some rehearsing with us," she called.

"I'm not in the mood," he responded, emotionlessly.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm ticked, Carly's depressed, and you're a loser who would rather spend all day staring at Carly's SplashFace page than have a show meeting. You gotta get over yourself, though, and do this."

Freddie glared at the closed door. "You can't prove anything!"

He was met with silence, though.

"Wait, Sam...what do you mean, Carly's depressed?"

Sam didn't want to lie to him, but she didn't know if she wanted to see the two of them back together. "I think she's having...boy problems. Yeah, she likes some boy, and she doesn't think that he feels the same way. Stuff you don't wanna hear about. So come on, let's hit it."

Freddie opened the door and slammed it behind himself. "Fine," he grumbled.

Sam was very aware of their proximity, and was unable to keep herself from looking up at him. That's right...he was taller now. For a brief moment, the two of them made eye contact. Freddie thought for a fleeting instant that he had seen the hostility leave her eyes, replaced by a lonely vulnerability. She looked sad, and sort of beautiful. He ignored those thoughts, though. Sam may have been attractive, and there might have been a sweet little girl buried somewhere beneath all of her meanness, but Freddie had his priorities. Right now, for instance, rather than take some misguided chance with Samantha Puckett, he was going to see his dream girl from across the hall.