A/N: If you've seen my profile, you know that I put up an idea in response to a Joventhony question, and then I realized something... it'd make an even better JOVENCORN story! :D

Title: Love 101 with Joven and Lasercorn
Pairing: Lasercorn/Jovenshire/Melissa Melancon (Joven announced on Twitter that he has a crush on her. If you don't know who she is, she is an actress that appears on Smosh pretty often. Most recent appearance: Yoga Girl on "What Guys Are Really Thinking")
Summary: Joven has been single for a long time, so he asks Lasercorn to help him win over Melissa Melancon's heart. Lasercorn takes it too far and teaches Joven how to kiss a girl, which leads him and his student into a whole mess of trouble. Will Joven win over Melissa? Or will Joven fall for someone else along the way?

You know that one person you've seen once and thought was cute, and then you shrug it off and act like you never thought about them like that? Then you meet them again and think that they're cute again and once again deny that you ever thought that they were worthy of attention? Then you get offered a one in a million chance... and realize that you are closer to that person than you thought, and decide not to hide what you've thought about them? No? Just me? Well, then... I guess this is going to be a long and extremely awkward story for you to hear, but... trust me on this. It's really worth it if you pay attention to everything I say here, okay?

Okay, so... my name is Joshua. Last name Ovenshire. Nicknamed The Jovenshire, for those concerned. Call me Joven. I guess you guys know what I'm talking about NOW, right? Yadda yadda yadda, I like Melissa Melancon, yadda yadda yadda. It's true. I have a crush on her, and I have ever since I saw her on a Smosh video a few months back. She was so pretty, and she was hilarious. I was happy for a couple days after. My friends all asked me why I was so damn happy, and yet I never told them exactly why. Well, then I saw her on another Smosh video a little while later. Then, I was happy for a week after seeing her. Again, Sohinki and Lasercorn asked me why I was happy, but I never admitted that she was the reason.

Then, Ian and Anthony from Smosh gave us three the opportunity of a lifetime: working with them on a channel called SmoshGames. And that's when I realized that I could talk to Ian and Anthony... and they could talk to Melissa. I was so happy that I couldn't frown for months! And then EVERYONE on the crew started asking me what was making me smile so much. So... I sent out a Tweet about Melissa... and my crush on her. And that's when I got really freaking scared. What if Melissa rejected me in front of all my followers? What if Melissa never responded? What if Melissa accepted me as a joke? What if she really DID accept that I like her and wanted to start dating me? So, this is where my story begins. Me, panicked, a few minutes after I sent the Tweet.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuck!" I yell. My palms are sweaty and I'm shaking all over. I can barely think. "What the hell, Joven?!" Sohinki exclaims, putting down his headset. "Your screams of stupidity cost me a kill!" "I'm sorry, but..." I begin, taking my glasses off and rubbing my eyes, "Oh my God..." Sohinki sighs and says, "If you would be so kind as to SHUT THE FUCK UP, I would like to get back to my game now." I nod at him and he goes back to playing whatever the hell game he's playing. "Joven...? What did you do?" Lasercorn asks me, a smirk on his smug face. God, I hate the smug face. "I may or may not have-" Then, Lasercorn says, "YOU TWEETED ABOUT LIKING SOMEONE?!"

"GODDAMN IT!" Sohinki yells again. "Thanks a lot, ASSHOLES!" "SHUT UP AND I'LL READ YOU A TWEET THAT JOVEN JUST SENT OUT!" Sohinki immediately rushed over to Lasercorn's side. "Ooh, is it awkward and embarrassing?" he asks Lasercorn. "When isn't anything about Joven?" Lasercorn replies. I cross my arms in defense of my awkward nature. "Gonna say it here," Lasercorn begins. I want to die right now. I want to seriously crawl into a small hole in the ground and just fucking die. "I have a HUGE crush on Mel." The two pause for a second before Sohinki asks, "You mean, Melanie? Because that's Ian's girlfriend and if you like her then that is not fucking cool dude-"

"No, he obviously means Melissa Melancon... remember? The one actress that works for Ian and Anthony?" Sohinki thinks for a little while and then says, "Oh yeah! Melissa!" "What? You've never even MET Melissa... that we know of," Lasercorn then says. Sohinki then laughs a little and says, "How big is it? You know, I like to imagine this whole conversation between two people, like, 'Sir, there's a meteor coming!'" Lasercorn picks up where Sohinki left off. "Oh yeah? How big is it?" "Sir, are you familiar with Jupiter?" "You mean like the planet?" "Yeah, well, it's that big." "Hmm, that sounds pretty big... I have a question." "Yeah?" "If it's as big as Jupiter... is it Jupiter?"

"Yes, sir. Earth is literally under siege by planet fucking Jupiter." "Oh... shit." I roll my eyes. I've read into Homestuck far enough to know that those quotes are from Dave Strider. "You got that from Homestuck, didn't you guys?" They both nod and I say, "I knew it." "But anyway, back to Mel... What's up with that?" I shake my head and snap back to reality. "Oh yeah... well, I've never actually met her, like you guys said, but... she's just so pretty, and she's very funny... and... I feel like I've known her my whole life." "Oh really?" Sohinki asks me. I nod and smile, remembering that beautiful face of hers. "Good luck," he says sarcastically, then taking his leave. "But, uh... I will NEVER be able to woo her with the skill set I have now..."

"What are you implying, Joven?" Lasercorn asks me, his eyebrow raised in a questioning manner. "I'm-" air-quotes, "'implying' that I need your help. Dude, you're freaking engaged, to a GREAT person, might I add." "You've never met her!" "If she's anything like you tell me she is, she's the most amazing woman in the world. Anyway, what I'm asking of you is for you to help me learn some important tricks so I can get her and keep her for a while. Please, man, I'm begging you to help me do this. I need your help." I put on my most adorable pouting face and beg on my knees in front of Lasercorn's area of space. He sighs deeply and says, "Listen, Joven... I'll help you. But... it won't be easy gaining my trust."

I nod and say, "Anything to make you take me on as a student, sir!" He smiles and says, "You have to wear a girly shirt every single day we have a lesson. You got that? Bieber, One Direction, Call Me Maybe... any girly-ass shirt you can get your hands on." My happiness is instantly replaced with skepticism. Will he REALLY help me if I put on the gay-ass shirts? Or will he force me to wear them all day and then never get to learn how to get Melissa to be my girlfriend? I wish Lasercorn was an easier person to see through. Honestly, you can never tell when he's lying or when he's actually telling the truth. But... David Moss is a man of his word, so... if I ask him, I will trust his answer.

"You'll really help me, Lasercorn?" He nods and says, "Yes, I promise to help you. Now, our lessons will be on Fridays, after the taping of Gamer Nation. Don't be late, and don't be a douchebag, okay?" I smile and say sarcastically, "It'll be hard to do, but I think I can set aside my douche-like ways and become a pleasant person to be around and deal with." He smiles back at me and says, "Good. Remember, the girly shirt. And, uh... don't explain the whole shirt thing to the viewers. Let it be a mystery, or perhaps sum it up to the sheer stupidity of Joven, okay?" I nod and say, "I will merely say that we took a bet and I lost." "Good. Now go forth my minion. Stalk her on Facebook and Twitter so you can learn the ways of the woman."

I smile and nod, returning to my own place, then typing her name into the Google search engine. Melissa Melancon... you will be mine. And when we have a child (not if, WHEN), we shall name him Luke. Why? So I can say to him, "Luke, I am your father." Or maybe not, depending on if it's a female... God, I'm a creepy bastard, aren't I?

Honestly, I LOVED writing this little chapter for you! I can't wait to see your guys' responses to it! I hope you enjoyed, and if you did, why not leave a favorite? It really helps me! Or perhaps you might want to add it to your alerts, so you can check whenever I update it. Or maybe you can just leave a review telling me things you want to include, or things you want to happen, or some constructive criticism!

Thanks guys! Bye!