A/N: tis the season to hide my piercings and question my identity yay

have this thing i crapped out over my own frustration about my gender identity because ugh that shit is so irritating and duMB

but anyway MERRY CHRISTMAS I HOPE YOU ALL HAD A RLY LOVLEY HOLIDAY AND IF YOU DIDNT IM RLY SORRY AND AM SENDIN U LOTS OF LOVE N HUGS OXO

Disclaimer: andrew hussie owns (like you didn't know)

Your name is Jade Harley and you are confused.

Which is silly! Usually you like to think that you don't let yourself get confused about many things, because the answers are always really simple! Like when John tells you that he really likes his best friend and asks you what he should do; you just tell him to stop being so dumb and grab his hot butt, because duh that's a simple answer to an even simpler question! But your question isn't really that simple (at least it isn't to you), and you really need someone to listen to you while you vent because really thats all you can do about the situation.

You guess Rose is probably the best person to talk to about your kind of issue, but honestly you just want someone who will tell you what you tell to everyone else who comes to you with their problems (see: John Egbert) - that it's okay and that you should do whatever you want as long as you're happy and aren't hurting anyone else.

Which is where the skinny blonde idiot who spends far too much time with your brother to be considered healthy comes in.

Dave is sitting on your couch in all of his 98 pond glory, long limbs strewn over the armrest and back of the couch, the TV remote on his stomach and an empty carton of apple juice on the floor below him, his eyes trained on the TV screen that's playing a programme you know he doesn't care about. (You think something might be wrong with him. You also think its really sweet that he's so comfortable around your house, even when John's not in.)

"Where's my brother?" you ask as you drop yourself down right on his leg, and grin widely at him when he groans in pain and glares at you through his dumb shades John got him around five years ago. (You think its really cute he's kept them this long and that they're still in such good condition.)

You love Dave, but in the same way you love your brother or your cousin, since he practically is part of your family. You can't imagine thinking of him in a romantic way, partly because you know he's gay as heck, partly because you know your brother is a little bit more than head over heels for him, and partly because you know he feels pretty much the exact same way.

(Your and Rose's main topic of conversation as of late is how frickin' dumb your brothers are).

"Get off me," he grumbles, trying to turn over and pull his leg out from underneath you. You let him, and curl in to rest your head on his stomach when he moves into a more seated position.

"So where is he?" you ask again, and watch his brows furrow ever so slightly.

"Out with some chick," he says, feigning nonchalance.

"Oh? Who?" You think you need to yell at your brother just a little bit when he gets back.

"Vriska," he says, accentuating each letter of the girl's name. Its quite pretty, you think. "Apparently she's a Cage fan. Love at first sweaty guy in a wife beater right there."

"Want me to beat him up for you?" you ask.

"Why?"

"Dave," you say, like it explained everything.

"I don't care, Harley."

"Dave," you say again, firmer this time.

"Drop it, please."

You do, but give him a glare first.

"Anyway, sup with you?" he asks, flicking you in the head and tilting his own.

"I'm confused," you tell him, looking up and pulling a disgusted face, which is pretty much how you feel about your situation.

"Come, tell daddy all about it."

You snort with laughter before shifting again so you can see him better, then begin to talk.

"Okay, so, things are dumb."

"Insightful."

"Shut up, dork." You say, before beginning again. "Things are dumb. And I don't know how to even express how I feel about this dumb thing, because its dumb, and stupid and it shouldn't really even matter?"

"Wanna tell me what to dumb thing is?" he asks.

You take a deep breath and say, "I don't feel like a girl."

"…Right?"

"And I don't know if I want to be one."

"Do you wanna be a guy, then?" he says after a beat of silence.

"Ew. No." You say. "You're gross and smelly and you sit around scratching your balls."

"Thanks, Harley," he deadpans.

"Not all," you amend. "Just some."

"That's better. So what do you want to be?"

"That's the thing! There has to be one or the other, right? Like I don't want to be a guy, but I don't want to be a girl either! I mean, I really like having long pretty hair, and I really like skirts and gardening and flowers and all that shit, but I also like guns and sports and hoodies and beer and all that shit! Some days I wake up and I feel so girly, but then other days I wake up and I'm like, no, I want to wear baggy jeans and hoodies and I want people to confuse me for a boy. And all the stupid menial things like shaving and make up and not swearing and being virginal and a size 0 or whatever, society's construct of being female, I hate it! I don't want to be a girl anymore, but I also don't want to be a guy! Is it even a choice? Can I just go one day 'hey I know I was born with these body parts, but do I have to stick to them?' I know some people are trans and everything, and that's super awesome for them, but they never really say anything about people who don't feel like either. Is it even possible to?"

"Jade, honestly, I don't know. Talk to Rose if you want a lecture about this, trust me when I say she'll have a field day dissecting this and will probably end up telling you that you feel this way because when Bec guards you while you sleep his male canine-ness floats into you and jumbles up your gender, but really, Ithink you should just do what makes you happy. If you want me to stop reffering to you as a 'her' or whatever I'll do it, like no problems there; but don't feel as though you have to pick between the two, just be you, even if you is kind of floating between the two. Keep having long pretty hair, and wearing nice girly skirts, but don't start shaving if you don't want to or stop liking the things you like, because that's just stupid. I mean, I'm a guy, but I shave, and I like it. I know people would say its because I'm gay, but even when I didn't know I liked guys I still did it, you get me? I think that they're just there, male and female, up for interpretation. That you should take bits out of each which agree with you, then let those define you."

"… Wow Dave," you say, slightly dazed. "That was really kind of beautiful."

"Harley, you are looking at a master wordsmith right here, what do you even expect," he replies, a smirk on his face.

"You are so Rose's brother."

A/N: i don't even know just ew gender

happy holidays oxoxo