Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it characters, unfortunately. But the ideas I use are my own. Reviews are appreciated, flame or not, and will be returned.
Ways to Annoy a Vampire
1. When in the company of a vampire move with exaggerated slowness so it takes you about two minutes to move an inch.
2. Constantly get paper cuts, on purpose, and burst out crying every time a vampire holds their breath when you're bleeding.
3. Put plastic fangs in your mouth and chase them around saying things like, "I'm going to suck you blood."
4. Constantly ask them how much their transformations into vampires damaged their brains.
5. Tell the Volturi that you're moving into Italy and starting your own vampire Mafia.
6. Cover yourself in Ketchup and run around screaming, "Feast on this, bitches", or something similar.
7. Cover yourself, from head to toe, with body glitter and walk around telling everyone that "real vampires sparkle."
8. Follow them around saying that they should go on fanfiction and help bunny achieve world domination.
9. Flick water at them and say, "The power of Christ compels you."
10. Shove them in front of a mirror and insist that they have no reflection. If they insist they do then look at them like they're insane and back away slowly.
11. Ask them if they sleep upside down. If they reply 'I can't sleep' make fun of the dark circles under their eyes and constantly "fall asleep" on the counter, floor, stairs, etc.
12. Attempt to drive a wooden stake through their heart.