ENJOY!

Robin sat down near the edge of a cliff, his legs pulled toward him and his arms resting on his knees as he stared out into the city; his home. He tried not to think about what had occurred a mere hour before, but his mind was drawn back toward it like a moth to the flame, and all he could do was blame himself. It should have been different, and had the day played out with it's original intentions then Robin was sure it would've been fine.

He sighed, hating how defensive he had gotten with Starfire when she had announced joyfully to everyone that the circus was in town. Robin gritted his teeth..the circus...had it been anything but that he would have been fine.

Cyborg had readily excepted the invitation, Beastboy had mumbled some comment about the circus using animals but agreed due to boredom, and Raven had just watched Robin cautiously from the corner of her eye and waited. Starfire was his girlfriend, so of course she expected Robin to go with her, and was more than a little disheartened when he refused. Starfire hadn't noticed Raven's cautious gaze and simply pressed Robin for some explanation as to why he did not wish to go to such a joyous place.

That's when it happened, he lost his cool, just snapped...right there in front of everyone. He mentally winced as he recalled turning toward Starfire and yelling that he had said 'no' and that he meant it. She had looked so confused and hurt by his sudden harsh tone, and he vaguely remembered that she had reached out her hand, asking 'what the matter was', and he pulled away. He felt them all staring, and Starfire's eyes began to brim with tears of confusion.

They didn't understand...none of them did- aside from Raven who only knew from her intrusion into his mind. He swallowed and turned away from her, muttering that he needed some air and then dashing out of the common room.

'All these years and I still can't let it go.'

He hated himself for it.

"Um...Robin?"

The boy wonder jumped slightly, too caught up in his own thoughts to have heard the arrival of the person standing behind him now. He looked back over his shoulder, part of him having expected one of his teammates to come look for him, but not..

"Beastboy?"

Starfire he had anticipated...Raven...even Cyborg..but Beastboy? Before he even realized it, he was on his feet and turning to face the changeling.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, his hand instinctively going toward his belt. "I left my communicator so-"

"No, uh, every things cool," Beastboy quickly dismissed any assumptions of criminal activity.

Robin visibly relaxed, but still gave Beastboy a confused and questioning look. He seemed nervous...

"I just thought I'd see how you were doin'." he shrugged.

"Oh." Robin blinked then shook his head.

"I'm fine," he replied. "I didn't mean to worry you guys...it's just.."

"You don't like the circus."

Despite Beastboy's neutral tone, the words sounded foolish, and Robin didn't trust himself with the emotions that were sure to flicker across his face. He turned his head.

"It's nothing."

Beastboy took a hesitant step forward, still leaving a respectable distance between them, but letting him know he wasn't about to just leave.

"Raven said it brought back some bad memories for you," He replied carefully. "I guess we all have certain...things...that we'd rather not think about."

Robin didn't reply, though he both hoped and trusted Raven hadn't told him the whole reason behind his refusal, he nodded slightly.

Beastboy let out a small fake laugh.

"For a long time I couldn't even hear the word 'carnival' without thinking about Terra."

It had been a long time since Beastboy had mention her name, and though his voice still held a slight note of sadness, Robin could tell that it was more from remembering how it felt then, than actually feeling it now. In fact, ever since Beastboy and Raven had started dating (something that had truly caught Robin off guard), Beastboy seemed so much more at ease with himself.

Robin looked back.

"How did you even know where to find me?"

Beastboy fully acknowledged the fact that Robin was trying to change the subject, and while in their younger years Beastboy would have simply been annoyed by this, he now seemed to recognize it as Robin's way of avoiding what was really bothering him.

Deciding there was no harm in taking the detour, Beastboy smiled and folded his arms across his chest.

"Dude, I can smell your cheap hair gel from miles away."

Robin gave the changeling an annoyed frown.

"It's not cheap."

Beastboy let out a laugh.

"Yeah sure."

Beastboy felt somewhat proud of himself when Robin actually gave him a brief smile.

"So..." Robin said seeming to gather his thoughts. "Is everyone out looking for me?"

"Not exactly."

Robin felt surprised, and Beastboy seemed to understand the emotion as it briefly flashed across his face.

"Trust me...we all wanted to," he admitted. "Especially with how you just kinda freaked out."

Robin frowned guilty and looked to the side.

"How's Starfire?"

Beastboy raised an eyebrow.

"Do you even have to ask."

Robin sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Guess I really messed up."

Had Robin looked up in that moment, he would have saw an almost amused expression cross Beastboy's face.

"S'okay man, she'll forgive you." he grinned. "Besides, it's actually kinda nice to know you're human."

Robin looked up...not sure how to take the comment.

"Uh...thanks."

Beastboy gave a quick nod as if to say 'you're welcome' and decided to get back on track.

"Anyway," He began. "Raven said it was probably just better to leave you alone, though Star wasn't too happy about that either."

"So what are you doing here?"

Robin couldn't help it, Beastboy's presence still confused him.

"Yeah, glad to see you too." Beastboy replied somewhat annoyed.

Robin sighed.

"I didn't mean it like that, I just-"

"-Dude chill." Beastboy smiled. "You get way too worked up about stuff."

Robin shook his head at the truth in Beastboy's words. He was always taking everything so serious, and he sometimes wished he could be more relaxed without having to try, but he just wasn't that kind of person. He wasn't like Beastboy.

"Guess that's why we don't talk much."

He hadn't meant to say it out loud, and he regretted it even more when Beastboy's ears drooped slightly and he frowned.

"Way to go, Boy wonder,' his inner voice chided.

Robin looked at Beastboy for a moment and opened his mouth to apologize when..

"Yeah...guess you're right."

Robin looked confused.

"I just figured we could finally talk some..." Beastboy shrugged as he stared at the ground. "I know what it's like to...to lose somebody."

He looked at Beastboy for a moment, seeming to think his words over. Robin almost wished he could believe what he was saying, that Beastboy knew what he felt like, but...

"It's not the same Beastboy," he replied evenly. "I know you lost Terra and it hurt you, but this...this is different. You wouldn't understand."

Robin heard Beastboy take another step forward.

"And how would you know?"

Robin looked up, not taking much notice to Beastboy's annoyed if not hurtful expression.

"Trust me, Beastboy." He replied- still emotionless. "I know we've all faced hardships in our lives, but this is something I have to deal with on my own."

Beastboy snorted slightly.

"Ya know what dude? That's exactly what your problem is."

Robin frowned, realizing that their somewhat friendly conversation had probably taken a turn for the worst.

"What are you talking about?"

Robin couldn't help but sound defensive, Beastboy was good at bringing that out in him; simply because they were so different.

"You always think you have to deal with these things by yourself." Beastboy explained, his brow furrowed in annoyance. "I mean, even Raven asks for help sometimes- and you know how independent she is."

Robin just stared, he was listening, but Beastboy wasn't sure if he was hearing him.

"You tell us we're you friends, you're family, but even after all these years you still don't trust us with the truth." Beastboy stepped closer. "Why is it so hard for you to open up to us? Why won't you even give us the chance to understand?"

Robin opened his mouth to object, but Beastboy continued in a more angry tone, despite having wanted to keep the conversation light.

"Do you honestly believe that we would think any less of you?" He asked. "Especially Starfire- who's probably in her room right now blaming herself for what happened."

Robin was stunned into silence, and Beastboy sighed.

"You treat me like some little kid, but I'm not stupid Robin." he looked away. "I came all the way out here, not just because you're my friend, but because I'm probably one of the few people who do understand."

Robin closed his eyes, trying to distance himself emotionally, but failing.

"You really think you could understand." he stated coldly. "Do you have any idea what it feels like to watch your whole world fall apart, to see people you love die, and not be able to do a thing about it? Do you have any idea how weak it makes you feel...how angry I am at myself."

His hands formed into fists, shaking.

He heard Beastboy sigh and expected him to apologize for assuming so much...he expected him to leave...maybe even pity him; which was something Robin did not want to deal with. In stead...Robin heard the last thing he expected to hear.

"Yeah...I do."

Robin looked up with open eyes at Beastboy. He was almost glaring at him, and his eyes held a certain conviction and a gleam of determination that Robin had only seen him have during very serious situations. His body was turned slightly, but still facing him, and Robin found it impossible to ignore how much older he looked. He had grown a lot in the last year, and was just as tall as Robin was, making it even harder to avoid direct eye contact.

Despite being the older of the two, Robin felt somewhat small in that moment and couldn't even find the words to express what he was feeling.

"I didn't..I mean..."

In his moment of stupor, Beastboy's expression slowly eased, revealing a more insecure person underneath...someone that looked far more familiar. When he spoke next his voice had lost it's angry tone and became more subdued.

"Raven didn't...tell me, ya know." He looked down.

Robin blinked...Raven hadn't told him?

"Then how..."

"She just said it had somethin' to do with your parents" He rubbed the back of his neck and smiled some. "She may be my girlfriend but she's still pretty secretive about stuff."

Beastboy sighed and looked up.

"She said I should ask you about it...'cause we might have more in common than I think."

"What.." Robin paused but found his resolve. "What happened to your parents?"

Beastboy eyes became distant, his expression serious, and once again Robin realized how much older he looked..and was.

"It...was an accident." He murmured, looking away. "We..they..the boat it just..."

His hands started to tremble and almost by instinct Robin found his own hand reaching up to lay on his shoulder.

Beastboy looked up, and Robin was surprised to see his expression sad yet calm.

"The water was coming in...and the current was too strong." Beastboy told him solemnly. "We couldn't get back to shore."

Robin was only vaguely aware of the questions that were buzzing in his head, and instead his mind focused on that one word that set everything apart.

'We?'

Robin frowned.

"You were with them?"

Beastboy nodded slowly, closing his eyes.

"They told me to...to leave...to fly away and.."

He clenched his hands.

"And I left them...I just left them," He looked into Robin's masked eyes and his tone softened. "I couldn't save them, Robin. I was too young and I ...I wasn't strong enough."

Robin processed everything he had just heard and couldn't help but feel ashamed of himself. Beastboy had powers- abilities, and was still unable to save the people he cared about, but he didn't deserve to feel guilty for what had happened. Robin quickly forgot his own troubles in that moment and felt a deep responsibility toward his friend for opening up to him.

"Beastboy. You couldn't have done anything," He told him, his tone laced with both the authority of a leader and the concern of a friend. "You shouldn't blame yourself for things beyond you're control or feel guilty for having survived. That's what you're parents wanted."

Beastboy smiled, his saddened mood seeming to lift instantly, and Robin suddenly felt out of place.

"Maybe you should try sayin' that stuff to yourself," He replied.

Robin blinked and withdrew his hand, realizing with some surprise that Beastboy had managed to turn the conversation back toward him once again

Robin turned his head away some, pretending to gaze out at something only he could see.

Beastboy sighed.

"Ya know," He began, sounding tired. "It took me a long time to finally...forgive myself."

There was a pause in which Robin seemed to be struggling with the urge to look him in the face.

"Actually, Ravens really the one who helped me," Beastboy confessed, hoping to prompt some kind of response from the boy wonder.

"Kinda like your own personal therapist, huh?" Robin tried to joked, something he realized he wasn't very good at.

Beastboy laughed, low but appreciative.

"Yeah, somethin' like that."

His voice was light-hearted, and Robin relaxed at the familiar tone, and found himself looking back up at Beastboy's now smiling face. It was a smile that Robin was sure he had seen a thousand times before, yet he also knew that such smiles had rarely ever been directed at him.

Realizing this made him feel...disappointed in himself, and the fragile relationship the two shared. Beastboy was his teammate, his friend, a member of his family...and yet after all these years Robin realized he knew very little about the changeling. He never bothered to try and find out anything either, though he told himself it was out of respect for Beastboy's privacy, rather than simply not caring. Robin did care. He would gladly give his life for Beastboy, as he would do for any of the titans. But the truth was...out of all the titans...Robin understood Beastboy the least.

He almost wished he could assume Beastboy held the same level of misunderstandings about him, but during the entire conversation he had proven Robin wrong.

Beastboy had been able to identify what he was feeling, he had known that Robin was trying to avoid him, he had known just what to say to lure Robin back toward the topic, and to make him lower his defenses.

Robin found it almost unnerving how Beastboy had done it all so easily, as if he possessed the same empathic and telepathic powers as Raven. It surprised him, and he felt ashamed of himself for being so surprised. Obviously, there was much more to Beastboy than meets the eye. Maybe he shouldn't have been so surprised that Beastboy and Raven had ended up together after all; maybe she was able to see this side of Beastboy more clearly than the others.

"Um, Robin?"

With a start, Robin realized he had drifted off in his thoughts again and Beastboy was looking at him confused and questioningly.

"Sorry, " He mumbled, not saying anything more.

Beastboy seemed to be studying him quite intently, and Robin could almost tell that his senses where heightening; his ears twitching for a moment, eyes focusing, even the intake of breath seemed to serve an observational purpose. Robin imagined himself vaguely as prey...and something akin to fear prickled at the back of his neck and caused him to take a step back.

It was like Beastboy could feel it in the air, and his expression switched from surprise to hurt and sadness.

"Listen, I wasn't tryin' to force anything out of you," He sounded apologetic. "You don't have to tell me anything...that's your business."

'What?'

Robin mentally shook his head for even letting such thoughts enter his mind, and for making Beastboy believe he was afraid of him.

He frowned slightly, perhaps there was still some level of distrust between the two...but it was completely unfounded.

"Beastboy."

The changeling looked him in the face, lifting an eyebrow in response to his leaders sudden casual tone.

Robin sighed, but the corner of him mouth twitched into a small smile.

"Thanks"

Beastboy blinked, opened his mouth to say something but stopped.

"You didn't have to tell me about your parents." Robin explained as he stepped forward.

"In fact, you didn't even have to come out here to find me at all," He told him, sounding more serious. "I just want you to know that you can trust me, and that...despite how I may act sometimes...I do trust you too."

"Really?" Beastboy asked, surprised, but pleased.

He nodded. "You're a good friend Beastboy, and you deserve to hear the truth."

Robin took a deep breath as he opened his mouth to truly explain what was bothering him, but much to his surprise Beastboy put a hand up for him to stop.

"You don't hafta to do that," Beastboy told him. "I understand, dude, and...I'm glad you trust me."

Robin blinked...Beastboy had seemed so persistent before about Robin opening up to him and now...

Beastboy grinned. "I think there's someone back at the tower that deserves to hear it more than me."

Once again Robin felt himself smiling...a real..true smile. Yes, Starfire did deserve an explanation and an apology for his behavior earlier, and maybe...maybe with her help he would find a way to finally forgive himself and move on. He wanted to smile even more at the thought...of finding a way to move on and truly be happy with her.

"Uh, Dude?"

Robin blinked as Beastboy waved his hand in front of his face.

"Uh, yeah?"

Beastboy smirked. "Man, you are seriously spacey today."

Robin returned the smirk as he walked past him. "Guess you're starting to rub off on me."

"Hey, what's that s'pose to mean?" Beastboy demanded, turning around as Robin started the R-cycle up.

The boy wonder smirked again.

"Last one to the tower does the dishes?" He challenged.

Beastboy smirk confidently. "Dude, you are so gonna regret that."

Robin slipped on his helmet and revved the engine. "We'll see."

As Robin took off down the hill, Beastboy broke out into a run, jumped into the air and turned into a pterodactyl.

Robin glance up above him to watch Beastboy soar ahead.

He felt strangely at peace in that moment, and almost anxious about getting back home to Starfire.

'Who knows' Robin thought, looking at the road ahead of him. 'Maybe we'll all go to the circus tomorrow.'

Let me know if this is worth keeping...it's almost 4 in the morning and I may just be insane for posting it.