Disclaimer: Oh, help me...It is a good thing that I don't own FFX-2...
I had this crazy idea one day when thinking of a last name for Tidus. Since he is the son of Jecht, I
figured it would be Jechtson. And somehow I made a connection to Michael Jackson. Jechtson,
Jackson same difference.
It was a beautiful day on the Ilse of Besaid, the sun was shining, and the waves were rolling.
And Lulu was yelling at Wakka.
"Firaga!"
OK, so maybe she wasn't yelling at him.
"Lu! Whaddya do that for, eh?"
Yes, things were back to normal now that the nasty Vegnagun was given a time out. The
former summoner Yuna was reunited with her long lost love Tidus. Kimahri was on his mountain,
getting a back rub. Rikku and Paine were aboard the Celsius hunting for spheres, and generally making
Brother and Buddy go insane. Dona was still ordering Barthello about. And Isaaru still had his
monkeys. Yes, life was good.
That was until Tidus started to channel a particular pop star.
It all started on this perfect day.
Yuna was chuckling softly as Lulu handed Vidina over to Wakka, the new father still trying to
put out the fire on his rear. She stretched out her legs, basking in the sunlight. Yes, life couldn't get any
better...
"Hey, Yuna! Check out this awesome glove I found!"
She turned to see her blitzballing love running towards her on the beach. Something sparkled
on his hand. She wondered what this glove was, she just hoped it wasn't one of Lulu's oven mitts, the
black mage being oddly defensive about the things. Bless her love, he meant well but had the IQ of a
retarded penguin.
"It's so shiny..." Tidus said, his eyes glazing over.
She knew of his weakness of shiny objects, glancing over at his hand she saw a simple white
glove...covered in rhinestones. It glittered in the bright Besaidian sunlight, she could see why the glove
held her love's attention so.
"I love all the children."
"Of course you do honey." Yuna smiled at him, he was so sweet.
"No, I love the children. Love them."
"Yes, I heard you, love." She patted his head, it soothed him.
He leaned his head to the side so she could scratch behind his ear, he was so adorable. She
motioned for him to sit down, but he didn't recognize the subtlety.
"Sit!" Then thudded him with a rolled up newspaper. He whimpered dejectedly and sat down.
A few moments passed, and they watched Lulu and Wakka out on the shore.
Tidus then spoke up, "Yuna, could I, you know, borrow your dressphere? The songstress
one?"
"Whatever for?"
"For some reason I feel like I want to break out into song."
While this turn of events surprised Yuna, she couldn't say no to those big blue eyes. That semi
dazed look she held so close to her heart. "Of course dear, it's in a box under my bed."
"The red one?"
"No, the periwinkle one."
"But there are five periwinkle boxes."
"Oh, it must be the one shaped like a rhombicosidodecahedron."
"Are you sure it isn't a trigonal bipyramid?"
"Silly, that's molecular geometry. That box has the whips, lotion and handcuffs."
"So, that's why I remembered it. It has the doggie treats in there too, huh?"
"Yes, you can have one, but only one."
"Yes'm."
He plastered a big dopey grin on his face and hurried off, moonwalking across the sandy beach.
Yuna smiled indulgently at him. Her mentally challenged love.
Just then Lulu came up to her, sitting down on the soft sand. Yuna wondered how she could
wear such a heavy dress in the middle of the tropics in summer. It must have been 96 degrees out here.
"Lulu, aren't you hot?"
The mage looked over to her and whispered, "Miniature air conditioning,"
"Oh..."
Tidus came back then, looking smug. He had on a matching black outfit, covered in
rhinestones and a black hat. Along with the glove he wore, Yuna was afraid he would inadvertently
blind someone.
"How do I look?"
Yuna was tempted to say, "Like a cheap whore." But knew that would confuse her beloved.
She settled with, "Bright, and shiny."
"Perfect!" He then raised one hand and started to moonwalk on the beach. But was suddenly
interrupted by...
Wakka?
"My archnemisis!" For, unbeknownst to Yuna and Lulu, and knownst to only Wakka, he was
actually...
"It's morphing time!" Wakka then started to do some pointless hand movements, and humming
his own theme music. A blitzball came out of nowhere and smacked him in the head, changing his
yellow pants into MC Hammer Pants!
"Hammer Time!" He started dancing, well I guess it could be called dancing, for lack of a
better word. It looked like he was a dying weasel. "Can't touch this!"
"It's easy as one, two, three.."
"Da da da daaaaa, da da da daaa..."
"As simple as do, re, mi..."
Both were trying to outdo each other, as if either one was any good. Tidus looked like a disco
ball and Wakka was wearing parachute pants. Both were horribly off key, and just making noises for
the parts of the song they didn't know. Yuna smacked herself in the head, and Lulu smacked Yuna in
the head too. "What was that for?"
The mage shrugged, "It seemed appropriate."
"Uh, Lulu, were is your son?"
Lulu looked around for said offspring, finding him being eaten by dingos. "No! A dingo ate my
baby!"
Wakka paused from his impromptu singing, "Ah, don't worry Lu. We just get another one
from the cabbage patch, ya?"
Lulu shrugged at this, "Alright, but take off those ridiculous pants."
"Uh, in front of everybody Lu?"
"No, you- is that my oven mitt?" Lulu asked a suddenly frightened Tidus.
"N..no." he stuttered.
"Yes it is. You will pay for that! Ultima Fury!"
Tidus was blasted by round after round of Ultima, but strangely the vast number of rhinestones
reflected the spell. Hitting Wakka.
"No! You shall pay for this! I'm melting, oh the cruel world!" Wakka then melted into a
bubbling pile of well...Wakka.
"Give me back my precious!"
"OK, here." Tidus took off the glove/oven mitt, tossing it over to Lulu.
"Precious, no one will separate us, not even the fat stupid hobbit. My precious..." Lulu
muttered as she lovingly stroked the oven mitt.
Tidus looked confused, he then asked Yuna, "Was Wakka a hobbit?"