Chapter 1:
(The whole Griffin family sits in the living room to watch the Channel 5 Quahog News Station wit Tom Tucker and Joyce Kinney.)
Tom Tucker: And now here's Olly Williams with the Wacky Weather Forecast. How's the weather lookin' Olly? (then on the TV screen you see Olly Williams for a brief amount of time and Olly shouts out, "I SAW A CLOUD!")(The camera goes back to the new station as Tom Tucker states, "Thanks Olly. And now we'll be right back after these important messages!" (The TV goes to commercial and then it shows the Griffins sitting around the TV when Peter asks...)
"Lois can I have $800?" asked Peter. "Peter why the hell do you need $800?" exclaims Lois.
"I want an ostrich." Peter states.
"Well you can't have $800 Peter. We're very tight on money right now and I'm thinking about getting my own job to earn some extra cash," says Lois.
"But Lois, we all know you can't get a job your a housewife. Housewifes like you dont know what the world outside of your kitchen looks like," Peter says."Peter we've over this. Just because I'm a housewife does not mean I don't know what outside world looks like. Your probably thinking of mental patients", Lois corrects.
Cutaway:
(in the cutaway it shows a one of the staff members putting a patient in his cell.) "Alright Cookie Monster in you go," says the staff member seriously. "I swear to god nothing's wrong with me!" shouts the Sesame Street character the Cookie Monster. "Wait a second, what, what the hell's in your blue fur?" questioned the staff member. "I I have no idea no idea what it could be be," said the Cookie Monster who is saying it quickly while trembling. "Sir dont lie to me," said the staff member more seriously. (The staff member pulls out a handful of cookies then the staff looks up and 2 more staff members appear. The the Cookie Monster starts to panic and freak out while trying to eat all the cookies as a staff member pulls out a giant needle and ejects it into Cookie Monster and soon after he falls asleep.) End of cutaway.
The following day the all the Griffins are sitting at the kitchen table except Lois and then Lois sits down and says, "Everyone I have great news! Tomorrow I start my new job as professional piano teacher!
"Wow that's great mom!" Says Meg excitedly. "Shut up Meg sit down this has nothing to do with you," said Lois.
"Shut up Meg this has nothing to do with you", said Lois. "So from now on Peter is going to work during the day and I'll stay home while I work at night and Peter stays home so we will switch off", says Lois happily.
The next day at the Drunken Clam...
(Peter, Joe, and Quagmire sit in a booth at the Drunken Clam and drink beer when Joe Swanson says..)
"Oh my god Peter you look exhausted!" says Joe in a concerning voice.
"It's just that Lois got a night time job and I've been the one making dinner for everybody every night this week. And trust it hasn't ended that well," said Peter looking exhausted.
Cutaway:
(Peter's standing in front of the stove making dinner for the Griffins and Peter turns on the burner on top of the stove. As soon as he turns it on he put is finger on it and moves it away quickly.)
"Ow dammit!" shouts Peter in pain.
(A few seconds later Peter slowly zips down his pants. Then the screen shows the kids and Brian in the living room watching TV and you hear Peter screaming in pain.)
End of Cutaway
Back to reality at the Drunken Clam.
"But the worst night was when Lois asked to make that soup last Friday", said Peter.
Cutaway:
(Peter's in the kitchen making dinner again and on the counter there is 2 cups of soup and 2 cups of gasoline. Knowing Peter he picked up the 2 cups of gasoline and poured it into a big pot and put it on the stove. Then he pulls out a box of matches and lights one of them and throws it into the pot. The you see the house catches on fire and part of the house explodes off of the Griffin's house and strikes Cleveland's house. Cleveland's old house explodes, but only the front of it. Then the bathtub in the upstairs bathroom falls out and breaks int he front yard. Then you hear Peter's in the background saying, "I miss Cleveland. Why did I give him his own show as a freaking wedding present.")
End of cutaway
"Well I gotta go guys. Thanks for the beers but I have to go make make dinner and see how I'm gonna kill myself", says Peter but in a drunken voice.
(Peter gets into his car and gets on the highway to get home. And as Peter is drunk driving he listens and sings along to the song We are Never Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift.)
(Peter starts to lose control of the car and swerves across the road, crashing into cars, and making other cars explode. Unaware of the damages Peter continues to swerve back and forth across the road and loses too much control, so Peter swerves off the road and crashes into a tree. The Peter crawls out of the accident looks at the damages he's to other people and there vehicles.)
"Are you ******* kidding me?! My car! The paint is all chipped! Now I have to get the exact same paint color and brushes its just going to be a complicated", said Peter angrily.
The next morning...
(All the Griffins sit at the kitchen table and as there eating Lois says...)
"You know this past week I've been trying to make extra cash for this family by getting a job, but I guess that's too much to ask because now all that money that I made is now down the drain", says frustrated Lois.
"Look Lois, I'll make it up to you I promise", says Peter.
"Well for your information Peter everything I try to do for this family and you take it and smash it into pieces!" Lois exclaims in anger.
(Lois runs upstairs a while the rest of the family finishes breakfast and everyone walks into the living room to turn on the the Channel 5 Quahog News Station.)
Tom Tucker then says, "This is Tom Tucker with an important weather news flash. There's a dangerous tornado heading to the Rhode Island area. So make sure to stock up with food and stay in basements for the next 2 days."
"Alright kids, there's a serious storm coming so the trick to staying safe is to do the opposite of what the media tells you", said Peter.
"Dad I really think we should go in the basement for awhile", says Chris.
"Trust me Chris those media bitches just want everyone to die. So what they do to kill everyone is to tell them the thing that would most likely kill them. So I want all of you guys to get out of house with no food or supplies", says Peter.
(Peter shoves the kids and Brian out the to their front door. But Peter completely forgot that Lois was still upstairs.)
(A few minutes later you can see the wind and damage from the tornado. And Stewie, Chris, Meg, Peter, and Brian are all sitting in the front yard.)
"Dad! Why the hell are we still out here?!" shouts Meg.
"Meg we've been over this, if I wanted your input on something I would shoot myself instead because no one gives a **** on you input", says Peter in the storm.
"Well where's mom?" screams Chris.
(Everyone sits in the front yard in confusion wondering where Lois is.)
(Meanwhile Lois is sitting in her and Peter's bedroom sitting there with stress, aggravation, and anger.)
(The next scene shows Quahog Stadium and 2 employees sitting in there with a giant pile of boulders.)
"So why do we have this again?" says the 1st employee.
"I told you we were going to use them to beat the crap out of Carl Smithson's house. You know that whore from high school", says the 2nd employee.
"Oh yeah. I hated that guy. Especially when he made me do weird things in the bathroom", said the 1st employee.
"What kind of stuff?" said the 2nd employee.
"I don't wanna talk about it", said the 1st employee quickly.
(A nearby tree comes out of the ground from the wind and breaks open the roof of Quahog Stadium and give enough space for a small boulder to blow out of the stadium. The boulder blows out of the stadium and rolls down the streets of Quahog.)
(Meanwhile all the Griffins except Lois are still sitting in the front yard.)
"PETER I REALLY THINK WE SHOULD GO IN THE HOUSE", shouts Brian (Because the wind is so loud.)
"BRIAN YOU REALLY NEED TO LISTEN TO ME DIDN'T I ALREADY TELL YOU ABOUT..." Peter says, but never finishes his sentence because Brian interrupts.
"PETER YOU IDIOT WE NEED TO GET IN THE HOUSE NOW!" Brian shouts.
(Lois comes outside and is shouting in even more anger and is wondering why everyone is in the front why everyone is outside in the front yard during a storm.)
"PETER WHAT THE HELL IS EVERYONE OUTSIDE IN THE FRONT YARD DURING A TORNADO WITH NOTHING BUT THE CLOTHES ON THEIR BACKS?" screams Lois letting out all her anger, madness, and emotion.
"EVERYONE SHOULD BE IN THE BASEMENT WITH FOOD AND WATER!"
(Lois was going to continue but right after she got hit by the small boulder and got knocked out. Lois then starts to see visions like you do in the scene in the original movie The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy gets knocked out and things from outside the window flies around.)
(Lois wakes up in the most unusual place...0
End of Chapter 1