He sat on the beach, or sometimes even lay among the sand, closing his eyes and simply enjoying how warm it was. But, he never touched the water. His lusus had told him about the deaths and horrible grip water could take and Gamzee listened to him, but lately he wondered if it was out of respect or love.
Considering he was never around.
His relaxed smile faltered and he sat up, ebony bangs in his face as he stared. He slowly hunched over, rubbing his arm as he curled into a ball. Sitting in the dead of the night, Gamzee Makara slowly let his mind wonder, no longer distracted from the small bings of friends or taste of Faygo or slime.
His eyes soon looked up, watching, lips parted, as bubbles rose from the ocean. His lusus slowly rose, becoming a sort of majestic being. His head rose, horns back as he let out a small noise. Gamzee rose, heart pounding, a small glimmer of hope in his chest that maybe his goat father would stay.
As the sea goat moved onto the shore, sand parting to make way, the troll took several steps back, not wanting one of his toes to be crushed on accident. He looked up, hand wringing together and bangs blocking his view for a bit.
Blank eyes looked down at him. The head moved down, the snout even bigger than Gamzee as it nuzzled him. His anger of being alone vanished and he hugged the wet, yet warm fur. Memories of when he was a wiggler were brought forth. Times of when he'd always see his father figure, crawling into his hair and along his face, giving him hugs and nuzzles of appreciation. The troll nuzzled him now, a smile curling his lips.
HoW aRe YoU, mY sOn
Gamzee leaned back, hands still gripping the ivory fur. He looked down, saying, "Oh, nOt a WhOlE mOtHeRfUcKiNg LoT-"
Before the troll could continue, his father had pushed him, gently. Not enough to loosen his grip that much, but enough to silence him. Gamzee frowned, looking back at him as his lusus spoke.
WhAt HaVe I tOlD yOu AbOuT cUrSiNg?
Gamzee frowned, now, his grip now loosen from his own will. "NoT a WhOlE LoT."
His father seemed to dwell on this, lifting his head. Gamzee slid down, his feet hitting the sand. A small panic forced it's way in his chest and he moved forward a bit, "WaIt WhErE aRe YoU GoInG?"
He just got here. They didn't even speak that much, if at all, really. He was already leaving. His father looked, pausing from his journey back to the water.
YoU kNoW I CaN't StAy LoNg
Gamzee felt his panic turn to anger, shaking his head as black curls whipped around his face, "WhY mOtHeRfUcKiNg NoT?"
He was shaking his head, over and over. Tears threatening to show, his fists clenched and his toes curling into the sand. It was the same, a small pattern that was to repeat itself over and over and he could absolutely nothing about it.
But, his lusus didn't answer. It was engulfed by the sea by the time Gamzee opened his eyes. Blankly, he watched, slowly sitting back down. Crossing his legs, the violet tears went down one cheek before he wiped them away. He stayed out there for a few moments, wondering if maybe the sea goat would come back and explain.
But, as usual, he didn't. Gamzee went on his back, looking up into the sky with little to no interest now. He could make out some shapes with the afternoon clouds, but they didn't bring the small warmth in his stomach as they used to. Sighing, his ears dropped and he went to his hive, dragging his feet. He wouldn't be affected by this. He'd go inside, drink Faygo, have some pie, and maybe beat with Tavbro.
This wouldn't hurt him, he kept repeating that.
But each visit, after each small and short visit and one nuzzle from his so called guardian, Gamzee knew it was affecting him more and more.