Notes: implied slash, alternate universe - modern setting, cussing.
"He's in love with you, y'know."
"Who?"
"Grimmjow."
.:.
"Would you tell someone you loved them?"
"Why the fuck wouldn't I?"
.:.
Ichigo doesn't know how two separate conversations feel like they took place years ago when only two weeks had passed. It's like he's looking in on himself from some distant future but he's still the same as he is now. And what he is right now is confused.
First Neliel says Grimmjow loves him. Then Grimmjow says he would confess if he was in love. Ichigo isn't sure what part is more uncomfortable for him to remember.
There's no real way to approach the subject with no awkward feelings. Bringing it up would imply he had noticed it, and he certainly hadn't noticed at all. How the fuck was he supposed to see something when it didn't look like it was there?
If Grimmjow really is in love with him, then he sure as hell isn't acting like it.
.:.
They had become friends because of a fight. Back then they were just kids, not even old enough to really be considered teenagers by society. Their respective group of friends had problems with each other and they became caught in the middle. One day it just blew entirely out of proportion and suddenly Grimmjow was helping him off the ground with a bloodied hand and giving his name. It then carried on from there.
They weren't exactly conventional. Getting into fist fights with your own friend for no reason other than boredom wasn't normal. But they did it and it was good enough. Grimmjow fought because it was fun, Ichigo fought because it was fun - they had their own little balance.
Years went by, as did repeated visits to the first-aid kit underneath the bathroom sink. Neither of them ever fought at school, because at that point they were considered too responsible to do something so childish. Grimmjow had a veritable string of girlfriends, and Ichigo focused more on his studies.
And, for a while, it seemed as if they drifted apart.
.:.
He doesn't love Grimmjow. It's a hard fact that sits in his mind like a weighted rock. To Ichigo, Grimmjow is still just his friend, his best friend even. It doesn't sit right with him to know Grimmjow has bigger feelings for him that he isn't returning.
There isn't much else to it other than that.
.:.
They got back together once college started. It was like nothing had even changed.
Ichigo had missed just hanging out and doing nothing with Grimmjow. They never really had to do much in the first place.
But, sometime during their second year, Ichigo noticed Grimmjow wasn't taking girls out anymore. He didn't pry for answers; it wasn't important.
.:.
A month goes by.
Ichigo wants to be mad. He wants to scream in Grimmjow's face because why the fuck didn't the son of a bitch say anything about this before? And he's still not saying anything. And Ichigo isn't mad so much as irritated at knowing something Grimmjow clearly won't bring up.
Sometimes he wonders if Nel was just messing with him when she said Grimmjow loved him. Because Grimmjow still acts like Grimmjow. He still cusses. He still fights. He still looks like he hasn't got a care in the world, like life is just a thing that's happening and there's no reason to rock the boat more than necessary.
But this knowledge, this little thing that chips away at his brain like a pick to a block of ice, is starting to become a real fucking burden.
Ichigo thought love was something that changed a person because it's just that amazing. Grimmjow doesn't treat him any differently, but he also isn't about to spill some long kept love confession either. He usually did just say whatever was on his mind at any given moment regardless of what it was. The fact that he hasn't said anything and is still not saying anything is a bit confusing to Ichigo.
He doesn't like knowing of some apparent big secret lying between them. He wishes Nel had kept her big mouth shut. He wishes he could quit thinking about it.
.:.
In a way, Ichigo realizes that Grimmjow never will tell him. Grimmjow isn't the type of person to share his feelings; that part died as a child with bloody knuckles.
Suddenly, that why the fuck wouldn't I doesn't sound so plausible anymore.
He still doesn't love Grimmjow. He won't let someone else's words influence his judgment and feelings, whether they are true or false.
.:.
"Did you like any of those girls you dated?"
"I liked 'em enough to go out with 'em."
"Why didn't you stay with any of them, then?"
"Didn't like 'em that much."
.:.
A year goes by.
College is almost over, and Ichigo has mostly forgotten Nel's words. She's never brought it up other than that one time. And Grimmjow still hasn't said a word about the implied feelings he apparently has.
Knowing that he's almost finished with college is exciting to Ichigo. It's another one of those big milestones in his life, and he can pretty much do whatever he wants after this. He's still not that sure what he wants to be, and Grimmjow has pretty much shared the same sentiment aloud. Ichigo thinks he may want to be a doctor like his father, but he doesn't have his mind fully set on it just yet.
Even so, as much as he's looking toward the future with eyes open wide, he finds himself sometimes falling back onto that conversation with Nel when he's trying to go to sleep at night. It's out of place with some of the other things he thinks about whilst staring up at the ceiling in the dark. Instead of wondering about his life or what he's going to do tomorrow or - more morbidly - thinking about what's going to happen to him when he dies, he's stuck with a sentence on a loop.
"He's in love with you, y'know."
.:.
"You're kind of a bastard for dumping all those girls."
"I don't fuckin' care."
"You could've just waited for the right one."
"Maybe I already found 'em."
.:.
College is over, at least for Grimmjow anyway. Ichigo is going to Tokyo to attend medical school, and it's a decision he's more than happy with. He doesn't know what Grimmjow plans to do, but he expected that much in the first place.
As he packs his bags, his eyes open even wider to the future now than they ever were before, Ichigo realizes something.
He doesn't love Grimmjow. And he thinks he never will.
.:.
"Have you told them about your feelings?"
"Nope."
"Why not?"
"Waitin' for them to figure it out."
Edit 11/25/2013; Minor formatting edits and removal of ANs.