"I see a beautiful city,
and brilliant people
rising from this abyss.
I see the lives for
which I lay down my life,
peaceful, useful, prosperous
and happy.
I see that I hold a sanctuary
in their hearts,
and in the hearts of their descendants,
generations hence.
It is a far, far better thing that I do,
than I have ever done;
it is a far, far better rest that I go to,
than I have ever known."
- Charles Dickens, "A Tale of Two Cities".
.
.
You once told me that you will always be there for me, even if it's only as an obstacle for me to overcome. Even if I do hate you. Because that's what big brothers are for.
I think I understand now, why you did what you did. I think I understand.
But it is too late now, isn't it?
I cannot imagine, as I stand here now, surrounded by black and the sounds of countless of voices, that I hated you.
I never thought things would end like this; did you? Are you watching me now, with Mother and Father? Are you disappointed in me? I hope you are not, but I would not blame you if you were.
I know that you wished we would not have to meet so quickly, but there is no stopping things now. I suppose I could transport away, live my life secluded in peace somewhere else. But I am sick and tired of running, of having to constantly look back, of having to sleep with one eye open.
I am ready now, I suppose, to face the punishment of my crimes; and crimes I have committed. The long list is being read at the moment.
Leaving the village without the Hokage's permission, thus being a Rogue; joining S-Rank criminal Orochimaru; joining the Akatsuki; attacking the Eight-Tails; joining Madara; Attacking the five Kage; killing Danzo.
A long list indeed.
Did they leave the fact that I killed Orochimaru, you and saved the world, purposely out?
Some things are better left unsaid and unanswered.
I know though, and my team knows too - which is all that counts - that today I die a Shinobi of the Leaf. I think that is something you would be proud of.
Part of me knew that, after we saved everyone, I was going to be executed. But another part of me, a bigger part, hoped to be pardoned so that I could live the life I wanted.
After today, there will be no more Uchiha.
That is perhaps why I feel so sorrowful; not of my own demise, that I deserve. But that the once prideful Uchiha who believed in no surrender, no retreat, no fear, will be no more.
Suddenly the bag that had been put over my head is lifted and I am faced with endless blue and purple. Maybe the world is content with my disposal because I have never seen a day more beautiful than this one; the sky is cloudless, a streak of blue, purple and yellow, birds chirping their waking calls and sakura blossom petals dancing in the wind.
It is a warm summer day, the sunrays barely kissing the horizon.
I am standing on a wooden platform and before me stand hundreds of people, maybe more, I do not know. Are they here to cheer as I breathe my last breath? Or to mourn my loss? I think it is the first.
Behind me is the gate of Konoha.
Where it all began, and where it all shall end, how ironic. I have come full circle.
On the first row behind the wooden fence stand the most important three people of my life.
I have never been a man to regret. In my life I have only regretted two things; killing my brother and hurting my team.
As I watch the three of them stand that wave of guilt washes over me again. And again. And again.
Kakashi is standing stiffly, hands in his pocket, one eye crinkled in the way it always does when he is smiling, though the smile does not quite reach his eyes. Forget about revenge, he had told me a long time ago, the fate of those who seek revenge is grim. It's tragic, you will end up suffering and hurting yourself even more. Even if you do succeed in getting revenge, the only thing that remains is emptiness. He was right.
Next to Kakashi stands Sakura, her face no longer the one of a thirteen year old girl I remember so clearly, but now a woman. It pains me, more than it should, that it will not be me growing old beside her. But that doesn't matter, as long as she is happy - as long as all of them are happy. She told me, barely a day ago, in the confines of her bedroom, that she would never forget me and that she loved me. That they would remember me, not as an Uchiha or an avenger, but simply as Sasuke-kun. And that is more than I deserve. I remember very vividly what kissing her felt like. I do not think I will ever forget that moment of ecstasy when I kissed the woman I love. We did not go any further than that. Wouldn't it be cruel, to take and love her and then leave her? It would.
Next to Sakura stands Naruto, his eyes a darker blue than normally and his face set in a grin. Naruto used to always say how other people saved him from his loneliness and his darkness, but I don't think he realizes just how much he has saved me from mine. He was the first to accept me for who I was. My best friend.
The only pain I feel right now, is the pain of having to leave them behind; my friend, my lover and my teacher.
None of them are crying, which I am thankful for. I want the last memory of them to be how they are now; smiling at me.
Sakura reaches for both their hands, holds them tightly.
You once told me that nothing in this world is perfect, that we find other things and other people that make our life perfect. In the past few days, before this moment, I was at peace, my life was perfect.
I hope you will forgive me. I know they have, they have told me so.
Behind my team I see familiar faces. The timid Hyuga girl, the Inuzuka, the bug guy, Shikamaru, the Akamichi, Sakura's obnoxious but genuine friend, Lee and his female teammate - they're all there. And I am a little bit content that I will not be remembered as an avenger. But like Sakura said; as Sasuke-kun.
A troop of ten archers walks up the huge platform, stand in a line right in front of me, bows ready in their hands.
Even when the command to 'get ready' sounds, my eyes are still on my teammates, my friends, my family.
They are smiling still, Sakura's as beautiful as ever, eyes shining brightly with unshed tears. Naruto's that goofy one of his, and Kakashi's small, but the most genuine I have ever seen.
I hear the arrows soaring through my sky like a bird being unleashed from it's cage, hurrying to get away from its captor, hurrying into the endless sky.
Silence, absolute, confronting silence. If I did not have my eyes open I would never believe hundreds of people were standing a few meters away from me, holding their breaths, eyes wide.
My eyes though, are only on three other pairs.
I have read somewhere once - I do not remember where - that right before we die, our survival instincts kick in. It is a rush of adrenaline and your mind makes you remember the most important things in your life to keep you going.
The very last thing that enters my mind as the arrows pierce my body, press it into the pole I am bound to, is you. Your face and your smile and I find myself hoping, against all odds, that maybe I did do something good in my life, something that made me worthy to go to the same place as you.
Brother.
.
.
Because sometimes we are in those moods where you feel like writing something incredibly angsty. For the people who don't understand who the 'you' in this One-Shot is (Gahh, I feel like I failed since I have to explain it here) is Itachi, which is explained in the last line; brother. I hope it is liked as much as I liked writing it, thank you for reading!
Much love,
xoxo!