First Percabeth, all-dialogue, I don't own PJO or anything related to it, and I hope you enjoy! This fic is pretty vague and plot-lacking but I wanted to post it anyways.
"Pass the cheesecake."
"…We don't have cheesecake."
"The carrot cake?"
"We don't have that either."
"Then what is that?"
"It's a gluten-free cheesecake."
"I asked for the cheesecake!"
"Cheesecake is different from gluten-free cheesecake."
"What is gluten in the first place?"
"Gluten is a protein-based – "
"Never mind. I don't want to know."
"Ugh. I hate cheesecake."
"…Why did you buy it again?"
"I have no idea. It looked nice."
"So…do you have no idea, or did you buy it because it looked nice?"
"I don't know!"
"Spur of the moment decision? Happens to me a lot. Hmmm…maybe you're me disguised as you!"
"Don't be silly. That didn't even make sense."
"Yes it did!"
"No, it didn't."
"Yes, it di – "
"Forget it."
"There. You agree with me."
"I hardly think 'forget it' constitutes as 'I agree'."
"You just didn't want to admit it."
"You're insufferable."
"I think you've said that before. Not very original, now is it?"
"You are completely incapable of being romantic. Our first at-home date, and all you can concentrate on is the gluten-free cheesecake I bought."
"…Speaking of the gluten free cheesecake, can you pass it over to me?"
"ARGH!"
"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I just wanted to see what gluten-free tastes like."
"It generally doesn't taste any different, the people who made the product worked hard to make it taste just like regular cheesecake."
"I'm a good eater, I'm sure I can find the difference."
"That doesn't – okay, fine."
"Tastes…off."
"Based on what?"
"On nothing. It just tastes off."
"…You don't want to admit it tastes the same."
"No! Where did that come from?"
"It's obvious."
"Okay, so maybe I can't find a difference…that doesn't mean it doesn't taste off, though."
"I can't believe I'm still arguing with you about this. Can we just enjoy our night, please?"
"You started it."
"Oh really, now? You asked for the cheesecake."
"You made a fuss about what I called it."
"You decided to make a fuss about the fuss!"
"So you admit you made a fuss?"
"Ye – no – I – It doesn't matter. Can we please enjoy tonight?"
"I – sorry."
"Don't worry about it."
"I would, but then you'd get mad if I forgot about this incident."
"You know me too well."
"I like to think I'm fulfilling my boyfriendly duties."
"Glad to see that you have expectations of yourself."
"Only the best for you, right?"
"Only the best. Now, how about the best kiss you've got?"
"Hmmm…let me check my boyfriend contract…"
"Just kiss me already."
"Will do, ma'am."