Hello all!
This is my first fanfiction ever! I aspire to be a writer and would really appreciate any and all opinions and criticism! Please don't be too harsh though! I hope you enjoy and I plan to write more. I'm also open to suggestions/ requests. I am obsessed with the Teen Titans, especially Robin and Starfire. I'm working on a novel that's totally unrelated to this. I was having a hard time really starting to write it though, so I thought I'd experiment making some stories with characters I already know and love.
There's not a whole lot of dialogue in this one. I just wanted to establish what I think Robin and Starfire's relationship would be like and the deep, complicated feelings they have for each other. I enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoy reading it.
I'm working on a much more light-hearted, comical piece I hope you'll also read. Til then, I hope you enjoy my darlings
P.S. Sorry for any inaccuracies made in writing Robin's story. I know there's a lot of different versions of his past, but I just wanted to create a story that could relate to Starfire's encounter in the episode "Sisters". It'd actually be pretty funny if you really tried to picture it happening to him XD
In Deep
The sun was about to set on a lazy Saturday night. Robin felt more at peace now than ever. The titans had just returned from Tokyo two days ago. Everyone had settled in and was relaxing after the excitement of being national heroes in Japan. Slade hasn't been heard of since their temporary partnership in facing Trigon. The city had been quiet. No crime reports were made while they were gone and all cases he'd been working on were closed.
What's really serene about this evening is the amazing girl resting on his shoulder. This single girl who's so brave, strong, and all around amazing. The beauty with the biggest heart he'd ever known. The person he adores more than anyone in the world and can finally call his girlfriend.
Starfire moved suddenly to nestle her head on his chest. This startled Robin from his daze, making him jerk. Starfire noticed this and looked at Robin with concern. Robin noticed the worry in her green emerald eyes. He gave her a warm reassuring smile and gently brushed some fire red hair out of her face. Starfire smiled and closed her eyes enjoying the gentle touch of Robin's hand on her cheek. She was in pure bliss. She rested her head back on his chest and let out a happy sigh.
Robin was disappointed their gaze in each other's eyes didn't last long. Not wanting to break the mood, he let her rest and enjoyed the warmth of her by his side and the sweet scent of her hair.
He suddenly realized this was the first time they were finally alone together since she saved him from the cops in Tokyo. He was so scared then. He thought he was a murderer. A committer of the crime that had changed his life forever, fueling his passion to fight crime. He thought he'd become his own worst enemy. Losing himself one crime after another, he couldn't even bear to wear his uniform or show his face to the world. Everyone had lost faith in him, except Starfire. She made him feel safe. He could always be himself around her. Not just Robin, but Richard Grayson. She helped him find himself. She'd become a part of him. He wanted to kiss her then more than anything. If it wasn't for Beast Boy interrupting them…
Really it was his fault. He had a perfect opportunity to kiss her on top of the Tokyo Trooper's Headquarters. They'd spent the whole day together having fun and exploring Tokyo. Well, at least she was having fun. He always enjoyed being around her but he was too preoccupied thinking about Saico-Tek and Brushogun. Even when they were about to share a kiss. It was the perfect moment. They were alone watching the sunset after spending the day together. He was finally ready to become more than friends. Everything came so natural. Their hands were touching. They were both ready, leaning in at a perfect angle with their eyes closed, then he let the case interrupt.
He couldn't believe he'd ruined his chance. Sure he's a hero and has a civil duty, but he's still a person with more in his life. Starfire finally helped him realize that. Kissing Starfire was something he thought might never happen. She's his best friend. He'd had a crush on her since the day they first met. That day they shared a kiss that didn't mean anything, but he felt something he'd never felt before. He couldn't describe the feeling, but he was suddenly so captivated by the existence of the beautiful alien. She was so intimidating and yet so afraid. For a brief moment she trusted him, even thought she was lost and afraid. It was like they were destined to meet. Cyborg had been right. He wasn't following her to try and get another kiss, but it did make the idea to search for her even more enticing. Since that day his feelings for her grew stronger and deeper, but he couldn't deal with facing that he had such powerful feelings for someone. Everyone he loved he'd lost. His parents were killed, his previous relationship with Batgirl left him hurt, and even things with Batman were still touchy.
His friends were the only ones he could truly rely on to always be there for him. He felt really close to them all, especially Starfire. He was by far the most private of the titans, especially about his emotions. Despite it all, she'd worn down the walls he put up. Not by trying especially hard, or being pushy about sharing his feelings. Just by being her. She had him hooked. He was in deeper than he'd ever know. He not only adores her, he needs her. She brings out the best in him. With her he can be himself and know he's a good person deep down. He could be more than a hero and not risk losing himself again. For that he depends on her so much. He feels a passion and dependency on her incomparable to anyone in his life. He's crazy about her. Even though he's incredibly close to his friends, he still tried being secretive about his feelings. Especially with his feelings about Starfire.
Ironically, their first kiss was in front of their friends anyway. He got really worried when he saw her buried in the ink remains of Brushogun's monster form. She sounded so weak. He rushed to her side as soon as she could.
'Starfire! … Starfire, are you okay?'
'I am now.'
'I think I was wrong before.'
'You do?'
'Maybe a hero isn't all that I am. Maybe I could be, maybe we could be-'
'Robin.'
'Starfire?'
'Stop talking.'
They'd shared a perfect first kiss. It was soft and sweet. They could feel each other smiling. They were both so happy. It was an amazing feeling. Butterflies in their stomachs and their bodies tingling with warm, pure pleasure. It felt like they were floating. Floating in some paradise where it was just the two of them. Truly magical.
He'd only replayed it about a thousand times in his mind. He still felt guilty for ruining their special moment and not letting his case go to have a fun time with her. The whole day alone together and he was thinking about a case! How could he be so stupid?!
Still, they did have a romantic first kiss. In the rain. It was like a Nicholas Sparks ending. The Teen Wonder could be romantic after all. He couldn't help but let out a small chuckle.
Starfire decided to break the silence. The sun was almost gone from sight and she needed to see Robin's face clearly to read the expression that was going along with his bizarre behavior. She slowly turned around and attempted a calm smile.
"Robin, is something the matter?"
"No Star. I was just thinking about something dumb I did."
"Do not insult Robin. You are not dumb. You are very smart." She gave him a warm reassuring smile. 'I wonder what it is that bothers him. He is the too hard on himself. Perhaps I could cheer him up.' "You are a wonderful leader as well Robin. Please, no more bad talking. I hate when you do that to you."
"Don't worry Star, its fine. I need to lighten up a little. Sometimes it's fun to laugh at yourself."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you just think about something kind of dumb you did or something embarrassing at the time, and you laugh about it."
"Oh." She made that cute, puzzled expression he loved. He smirked. "May I have an example?"
Suddenly his smirk vanished. She worried she'd asked too much. His brows suddenly scrunched in concentration. 'I guess he doesn't want to talk about what troubles him.' She felt a little hurt he wasn't sharing what he was thinking about with her. Starfire sat up and scooched away. She got rid of the sad look on her face, then turned around and hugged her knees to wait for his response. The disappointed look on his face was evident. Starfire never liked making Robin sad, but she enjoyed the fact that he was disheartened by her body language. It reassured her how much he liked being close to her. He changed his expression back to a more concentrated look, attempting to cover up his change of expression. Starfire gave him a small, patient smile. She eagerly waited to hear what he wanted to say. Finally he grimaced as a memory popped into his head.
"Well, one time I was going on a mission with Aquagirl and Supergirl. Nothing major. We had to find out some information about a robber's plans because he was the ring leader of a whole band of thugs in Gotham. If we captured him or one of his members, they'd still have a chance to run away with all they'd stolen. But if we could figure out where their headquarters was located, we could shut down the whole operation."
Starfire was intently listening. Robin never talked about his previous missions. She was excited to hear more and began to stir when he stopped. Robin smiled, noticing her impatience. He decided to cut to the chase.
"Anyway, it was my first time working alongside only girls. I got nervous around them, because, well,.." He noticed the brief hint on envy forming on Starfire's small eyebrows. 'Oh great now I'm making her mad.' "—I always got nervous around girls." Starfire's expression now looked concerned and uneasy. "I was kind of a dork then. I spent a lot of time on the computer and mostly just talked and worked with the guys."
Starfire let out a hearty laugh. Robin stopped immediately and was dumbfounded.
"What's so funny?"
She smiled at him and stifled a giggle. "It's just funny you call you the dork and computer nerd."
"I didn't say computer nerd."
"Hee hee, are you most certain?"
He laughed now too. "Okay, okay, you got me there." He pushed her arm in a teasing way and she ruffled his hair with her hand in an attempt to ruin his spikes. They both giggled and he tried to push her off, but it turned into a hug, and he held her close like before. This was the kind of carefree, playful moments that founded their strong friendship. Before their romance started forming they acted more like brother and sister, but there was always something more. Cyborg and Beast Boy enjoyed pointing this out. The times they were alone though, they could just tease each other and have fun without anyone to spoil it.
They settled down and Starfire realized she was going to miss her chance to hear the rest of Robin's amusing story. "Please Robin, do continue".
"Okay, well sometimes the guys would talk about what they called 'girlcode'."
"Girlcode?"
"Yeah you know, girls and boys think a little differently, so when they got confused why girls would say or do something they called it 'girl code'".
"Oh, yes I do believe I have heard of this before."
"So I of course, being the dork" he smiled, "thought girls don't always mean exactly what they say."
"Yes, and?..."
"Well, we needed to change into civilian clothes and do it in a private spot because the thugs could be anywhere in the city patrolling. We had to be quick so we found a deserted office building after we did our usual patrol. We agreed that I'd stand guard while the girls changed and they'd stand guard while I changed. Before I left I asked for some advice from the guys. Among the things they told me, they said 5 minutes to a girl is like an hour to a guy, and girls have a ton of names for different tops and clothes and what not, so just ignore what they say if it isn't important.
"Once we secured a safe place to change in an empty building, I stood guard for the girls, who changed surprisingly fast. Aquagirl handed me an outfit they picked out. I told them to get me whatever they thought would blend in because I really didn't care or feel like picking out my clothes.
"She said 'here's a pair of bermudas, a polo, and some shoes. Let us know when you're ready and we'll go over our search plan.
"But to me it was more like 'bermuda...polo…sh…ready, plan' because I was so preoccupied thinking about the mission and blowing off what they said, taking the guys' advice.
"Well I had no idea what bermuda meant, but for some reason I thought it was a fancy shirt. I can't to this day figure out how I got those shorts over my head. I guess it was just because I was at an awkward growing stage and my uniforms fit tight as it is."
Starfire attempted to casually glance down at Robin's torso. His shirt fit tightly over his muscled build, showing off his six pack. His chest rose calmly with each breath and showed off how formed and strong his muscles are. Her eyes began to glaze over as a small admiring smile began to form on her face. She realized Robin noticed her sudden change of focus and blushed. "Do continue Robin. This story is most amusing."
"Okay, even though I suck at telling it. So here I am with a pair of Bermuda shorts over my head trying to put a polo shirt on as pants. I must have been taking longer than I thought because the girls asked if I was almost ready with an impatient tone. I said 'yeah, just give me a minute I'm just buttoning up my pants'. Well, they took it literally. They walked in and luckily I heard them coming and quickly pulled up my "pants" so they didn't see anything too embarrassing. When they saw my head sticking out a pant leg and my arms desperately hugging a shirt to my waist they busted up laughing. They laughed so hard it started to hurt. It was so humiliating. They must've had a lot of respect for me, or felt really bad, because they never told anyone. But for a long time they'd give me a certain goofy look and smile while holding back a laugh."
Starfire was laughing so hard small tear drops formed on her face. Her laugh was so obnoxious and lighthearted. Robin started laughing too. They laughed together until they finally got ahold of themselves.
"That is most amusing Robin!" Starfire wiped fresh hot tears out of her eyes.
"Glad I could get you to laugh. I missed hearing it". He looked at her lovingly, a sweet smile painting his lips.
For some reason Starfire was keeping her eyes averted.
"Is something on your mind?"
"No. Well, yes. I remember having trouble talking to boys. I must have misunderstood something they said, and they laughed at me." She had a sad look in her eyes, as if watching a replay of a melancholy, distant memory.
Robin gently took her hand and began rubbing his thumb over her fingers in comfort. Starfire's cheeks flushed. She was used to spending time alone with Robin, but not like this. Before it was if there was an invisible force holding them. They'd be close without touching. Look at each other without looking deep in each other's eyes. Share sweet words and tender moments, but never come even close to a kiss. That all changed in that one moment they at last shared a kiss.
Since that moment they spent more time together than ever before. They'd begun to hold hands frequently, gaze at each other, and smile and talk more than ever. It was as if suddenly all barriers had vanished and were long forgotten. Things were moving fast, but it gave her a thrilling feeling.
"I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding. Sometimes guys try to use cheesy pickup lines. They were probably trying to hit on you."
"Hit on me?"
"You know, flirt. They probably thought you were pretty and wanted to get your number or something."
"Not after I spoke to them. They must've thought I was a chlorbag."
"I doubt it. What'd they say anyway?"
She remembered it so clearly. "They said 'Hey hot alien girl, you diggin this scene?' and I said 'Oh, I did not know we were supposed to bring shovels'." She cupped her face and started loathing in self-pity at how stupid she must have seemed.
He laughed out loud.
"Robin, I do not appreciate you laughing at me. I am upset for being dumb."
"Sorry, Star. It's just here I am this big techno nerd mad because I thought I was so smart, then make a big idiot of myself. Then you're this smart, gorgeous girl every guy wants to be with and you don't even realize it. You go and take things literally like I should've and embarrass yourself. It's just so ironic. We're like two missing halves of a perfect person. Well, you're almost perfect. I've got a lot to work on."
"At least you knew what the digging of the scene meant."
"At least you didn't have your head in your shorts."
They both started busting up laughing again. Robin fell back and had to catch himself and Starfire fell back on top of him. They sat there smiling at each other for a long time.
Starfire sat up and looked where the crest of the sun was melting on the horizon.
"I believe we should go inside soon Robin. It's getting very dark."
"I could turn the tower top lights on."
"Oh, ok…"
Robin left her side to turn the lights on. He turned them on, and paused a moment to think. He was staring at her with an expressionless face. It was pitch black outside. The moon was hidden by passing clouds and the city lights were dimmed by a haze in the distance. Starfire had a nervous feeling growing inside of her. Robin was acting strange. She waited to see what he'd do next. She had goose bumps and her nervous feeling was beginning to feel more like anxiety. Robin started pacing around the edge of the tower. It was like a game of cat and mouse. He shot her a sly, crooked smile and suddenly all the lights went out at once.
Suddenly she was scared and felt cold in her chest. He never acted like this, turning from sweet and comforting to suddenly sneaky and distant. What was he thinking? What was he doing?! Flooded with emotions, the feeling she felt the most was fear.
"Robin…?"
"I'm here" came from behind her.
"What are you doing?"
"Just taking care of a few things" came from her right.
She couldn't see him or hear him walking. He must have been moving, unless she was going crazy. She started to feel dizzy and her heart rate was escalating.
"Why are you doing this?" She didn't mean to sound afraid when she asked this, but she was really getting worried.
"Doing what?"
"Playing this game."
"I'm not the only one playing."
"What do you mean?"
"We've been playing this game a long time, but I want to end it."
"End it?"
"Once and for all."
"Once and for all?..."
"Yes" came from right behind her in a deep voice.
"What if I don't want it to end?"
"It's too late."
'He must be in front of me.' She charged her starbolts to see where he was.
She almost jumped. Robin was right in front of her, his face only inches away from hers. The green light radiating off her palms shone brightly over his face, making shadows over his sharp, handsome facial features. He squinted his eyes under his mask and arched his eyebrows in. Even when she was afraid of him he looked devastatingly handsome. His breath warmed her nose and cheeks. His body was arched and he sat on his knees so he was higher off the ground than her but looked into her eyes.
"Starfire, why are you shining your starbolts in my face?"
"I… I wanted to read the expression on your face. You're acting strange and I didn't know…"
He slowly reached her hand and intertwined his fingers in hers. Her starbolts faded and her powers were gone instantly. She was completely defenseless.
"Maybe you can try reading my lips."
"How…"
Robin gently pressed his lips on Starfire's. Her thighs shot up in flames. She returned his kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck. He smiled and wrapped one arm around her waist and caressed her hair with his other hand. Starfire pulled him in closer so that their chests were touching. She gently ran her fingers through his hair. They found a rhythm of moving their lips. Robin licked her lips. She parted hers and he gently touched his tongue to hers. Suddenly Starfire pulled on Robin even more and they fell over with him landing on top of her. Still in an embrace they gently began to touch tongues and explore each other's mouths. Their kiss grew more and more passionate until they finally needed some air. They kissed each other softly before parting lips. Robin rested his forehead on Starfire's. He brushed his hair with one hand and continued to keep the other behind her head so that she was comfortable. Starfire's arms rested around Robin's lower back. Her heart was racing and her whole body was still tingling. They'd blush if they saw how far up Starfire's skirt had ridden. Robin slowly lifted himself off of her and got on his side, facing her. She turned on her side to face him. He gently rested his hand on top of hers. They laid in silence for a moment. Robin grabbed her waist and pulled her closer.
The clouds finally drifted past the moon. Luminescence high-lighted their features and allowed them to gaze in each other's eyes. Robin was absorbed in the mesmerizing shades of green of her big beautiful eyes. This close to her he could read the story in her eyes like a book. The childlike innocence. The charm and beauty. Her strength and determination fueled her gaze with her bravery keeping it strong and consistent. There was an unmistakable brokenness around the darker parts of her eyes, but also the fire of a fighter. Then there was something most people couldn't see and would be surprised to find. Fear. Fear of what, he didn't know. Possibly fear of losing what she had. The titans provided her with a safe place to call home, but that could all change some day. He hates thinking that, but he knows it's true, and so does she. He sat up, holding her gaze while doing so, and she mirrored his movements as if entranced.
He smiled as he attempted to smooth her ruffled hair and she smirked at his spiky hair now messy and uneven from her weaving her finger through his thick gelled hair. He put a hand on each of her shoulders and looked her straight in the eye.
"I want you to know that you're always safe here. This is your home, and I'm always here for whatever you need. I'll do everything I can to make you safe. You don't need to be afraid."
He kissed her forehead and wrapped his arms around her. She returned his hug and rested her head on his shoulder.
Starfire sat nestled against the source of her biggest fear, her greatest joy, and her deepest passions. Robin was her protector. She knew he would make her safe. Safe from harm from anyone else. But she feared him more than anyone on earth. Tonight she realized just how much power he had over her. In the dark she was so afraid. She couldn't rationalize it, but she felt like she did when he'd yelled at her for not stopping Slade when she couldn't see him. He hurt her then.
She couldn't control her emotions when they were stranded on that strange, hostile alien planet. She couldn't fly and Robin jumped off a cliff to save her. He believed in her when she didn't think she could fly to save them. But one look, one sweet smile and his holding her hand restored what she'd lost. No one had ever had as much control over her powers as he.
She never felt this way before. How could someone make her so happy and excited just by stepping into a room? Whenever Robin was around she felt so much better about everything. Even when he was away for a short time it made her depressed. When he was upset, she couldn't bear to see him sad, and when he was angry he'd frightened her. He didn't get angry often though. Still, she didn't just fear his anger. She feared him when she couldn't read his expressions. It was difficult to read his thoughts with a mask on. She dreamed of the day she'd finally see his eyes. She imagined they'd be beautiful and complex and dreamy. His mask was the one boundary she feared she'd never cross. It left her helpless to read his new behaviors, but made it did make it more exciting.
Who was she kidding? She could fear Robin and tell herself all she wanted to make herself stay cautious, or even stay away from him, which is what she should be doing. But he had her heart. Everything about him she adored. His smile, the way he talked, even his aura was captivating. His habits that were irritating to most people she'd come to admire. She liked how seriously he took himself and his work. He was proud of what he did. He cared so much about the citizens who depended on him and serving justice. He was so smart and dedicated. It was still hard for her to get over the fact he got so obsessed with a case that he'd lock himself in the evidence room for hours on end. Almost days. But he did it because it was selfless. She realized that now, and deep down, she knew he had everyone's best interests at heart.
He's the biggest danger to her. He could hurt her more than anyone else. He had a stronger hold on her than she was willing to surrender. But he adores her, and she him. From the first time they met, she felt something special. Even though she kissed his lips to learn his language, she learned two. The language of English, and the language of love. His lips left a smile on her face after their first encounter. Ever since then she'd desired just one more touch of his lips. Now she couldn't get enough. With every touch and every look, she craved more. She was hopelessly devoted to the boy who could leave her defenseless.
"Do not trouble yourself Robin. I know you wish for me to feel safe. I shall not fear this place."
'There is no need to fear. Robin will protect me. Whether it is foolishness or not, I trust him. I have no choice. If I am not to trust him, I will no longer follow my heart. I've yet to attempt another path, and do not wish to change that now.'
She wanted to be as close to him as possible in every way. He may think he's risking a lot by showing a softer, vulnerable side to her, but she'd given herself to him. She could just as easily be his treasure or his prey. Whichever it was, she didn't care at the moment. Her better judgment was left on earth while she was floating on cloud nine. She was in farther and deeper than she'd ever know, and would dare to go.
