YAOI WARNING!!! Pairings are Tsuzuki/Tatsumi Hisoka/Tsuzuki UNREQUITED
Muraki/Tsuzuki Hakushaku/Tsuzuki.
There is some MAJOR competition for Tsuzuki's love from Tatsumi and Hisoka in this fic. Watari hits on Tsuzuki a little bit, but he doesn't have a romantic love for him in this fic.
NOTE:: I wrote a lot of reference to anime styles, like chibi and mushroom cloud sighs of relief. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then you don't know manga. So there!
Dear Readers,
Have you ever read Yami no Matsuei?? It's so good!! I LOVE TSUZUKI- SAN!! He's so sweet!! I like the "I'm cute, give me a cookie" type of guy. -^_^- They're so cute you just wanna go and give 'em a big hug!! .....Or is that just me? Hmmm....*Ponder*
But have you ever noticed that there are no good fics where Tsuzuki is tortured? THAT'S WHERE I COME IN!!!
Sincerely,
Lady Hiten
Summary: Everyone knows that Enmacho's shinigami can't die. *Grin* An evil demon casts a spell on my darling Tsuzu-Chan.. Err. I mean the almighty Tsuzuki-Sama; a spell in which not even Watari noticed (but that's not saying much, since he didn't notice Sargantana's curse either). Anyway! The curse is very dangerous to shinigami; it allows him to maintain his injuries.. and die. DUN DUN DUN!!!
Rated PG13 for violence and angst
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"Waii!! It's time for dinner!!" Tsuzuki cried triumphantly. "I prepared it myself, so dig in!"
Hisoka, Watari, and Tatsumi all slowly backed away from the table, where a meal was laid out, delicious smelling and looking, yet lethal. For underneath the surface, was a meal so terrible, so deadly, that it could cause one to pass out for days -After all, Tsuzuki's cooking had done that to someone once before.
"Y-y-you know Tsuzuki," Watari said, "I'm really not all that hungry today." Watari scooted far from the table and put on a mendacious smile. He laughed uneasily and a sweat drop formed behind his head. He laughed again, and disappeared behind the door.
"I have some money that I need to count," Tatsumi said and quickly ran away. 'And some paychecks to lower....namely yours.'
"Tsuzuki," Hisoka said and glared at him as usual, "your sister is crying in the other world because your cooking sucks."
Tsuzuki's lip quivered and his eyes began to mist. "You really don't like my cooking, do you?" he asked softly.
"No we don't," Hisoka said sternly and glared.
From behind the door, the familiar faces of Tatsumi and Watari appeared, eager to see the affects of Hisoka's painful and excruciatingly true words.
"The truth really does hurt," Watari whispered to Tatsumi.
"Whoo!" 003 hooted from on his shoulder.
Tsuzuki hung his head and clenched his fists. He bit his lip, and his shoulders began to shake slightly. "Well then...I guess..." his head shot up and a determined smile appeared on his face. He raised his fist up in closed-minded obstinacy and said, "I guess I'll just have to try harder!!"
Hisoka sweat-dropped, and Watari and Tatsumi fell face first onto the floor.
"For dinner tomorrow, I'll cook something you all will love!!" Tsuzuki said and smiled at the group. "I'll make the best meal you've ever had!!"
"AAAGH!!" Watari said and scratched his head frantically in agitation. "Tsuzuki-san, if you cook one more meal-"
"If you don't like it, then I will never cook for you again," Tsuzuki volunteered suddenly.
"Will dinner be ready by six?" Tatsumi -who magically appeared before Tsuzuki- asked. He smiled evilly and said, "If we like this dinner of yours, I will give you enough money to go out for crab for a whole week."
"CRAB FOR A WHOLE WEEK?!?!" Watari and Tsuzuki asked eagerly. Tsuzuki shed great tears of joy as he imagined himself and Watari happily crunching on crab, while Watari was on the ground, sobbing at the impossibility of them EVER enjoying one of Tsuzuki's meals.
"However," Tatsumi said, gaining the attention of the food loving men, "if I don't like it, you will give me your next pay check, and will NEVER cook a meal for us again. Understood?"
"Yep!" Tsuzuki said and smiled. "But if you like it, I will still cook for you!"
'What are the chances of any of us liking one of his meals?' Tatsumi thought and grinned. He walked to the door where Hisoka stopped him.
"That's not a fair bet," Hisoka said, sensing the man's train of thought perfectly. "His cooking is horrible -to put it lightly; we all know this."
"That's why I made the bet," Tatsumi said and grinned before he walked out. "I'm going to get myself some take out."
"Speaking of take out," Hisoka said and moved his gaze from Tatsumi to Tsuzuki and Watari. "Tsuzuki, throw out that garbage you call food and order some Chinese."
"But I want tacos," Watari said and pouted slightly.
"Whatever," Hisoka said. "Just get something edible. I'm going to talk to Chief."
"Ok," Watari said as Hisoka left. He abruptly turned to Tsuzuki and gave the confused man a serious stare. "You and I are going to practice cooking. NOW!! I want some of that crab!!"
"But it's MY prize," Tsuzuki said and glared at the scientist.
"Yes, but unless you have someone to taste your nasty food, you won't know what Tatsumi will like," Watari said, knowing immediately that he would regret this.
Tsuzuki smiled and shook his hand. "Deal!!"
*
"There is a demon lurking about, near the boundaries of Enmacho," Chief Kanoe said to Hisoka from his desk. "He's prowling, attacking every worker who comes out, yet stops before actually hurting them. He's looking for someone."
"Any idea who?" Hisoka asked from his place leaned up against the wall, arms folded and serious.
"Not yet," Kanoe said. He leaned forward, folded his hands -for a dramatic effect- and continued. "We haven't sent anyone else on this case, since he hasn't killed or broken any laws yet. I figure you and Tsuzuki can go and persuade him to leave tomorrow. That'll be all for the day, so you can do it whenever you want, morning or evening."
"Evening will suit us," Hisoka said and sighed. "Tsuzuki won't want to waste any time preparing for his bet."
"Oh?" Kanoe asked and looked up at Hisoka. "What kind of bet?"
"Tatsumi will give him one week's worth of crab if Tsuzuki can make a meal he likes."
There was silence for a moment.......and then.......
"BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Kanoe roared. "WHOOHOOHOOHOOOHOO!!!"
He continued laughing for a while before his caught his breath and asked, "So what does Tatsumi get when he wins?"
"Tsuzuki's pay check -however meager it is. And Tsuzuki will never be permitted to cook for us ever again," Hisoka said and smiled knowingly.
"YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!" Kanoe cried and shot his fist triumphantly in the air. "What brilliant man, that Tatsumi!!"
"Yes, well.." Hisoka said and turned to leave. "I will tell Tsuzuki about the assignment later.
"YEESS!! No more crappy cooking!!" Kanoe cried as Hisoka closed the door.
"He doesn't even eat Tsuzuki's cooking, yet he feels such happiness....' Hisoka mused as he walked to his house. 'It really is a sad thing..But its perfectly understandable. I'm a little excited myself. Wonder what we'll get to eat from now on...'
*
"NOOO!! That's too much flour and baking soda!! You didn't put enough rice in this either!!" Watari yelled and pounded Tsuzuki on the head. "No wonder your meals are so nasty!!"
"I'm soo~~~rry!!" Tsuzuki whined and touched the bump -and magic appearing Band-Aid- on his head.
"Next time get it right!!" Watari screeched. He whapped Tsuzuki on the head again and dumped the contents of a large bowl into the sink. "Start over!!"
"Whoot!!" 003 hooted.
"That's right, 003," Watari said. He wheeled to face Tsuzuki, pointed and him and yelled, "You suck big time!"
'What is he....a Happy Bunny?' Tsuzuki asked himself and sobbed at the insult.
Hisoka -who was watching from the doorway-, cleared his throat to get their attention.
"Oh, hi Hisoka!" Tsuzuki called and waved -putting on his puppy appearance. "What's up?"
"I came to tell you," he said with a glare, "that we have an assignment tomorrow. A demon has been waiting for a worker, and Enmacho wants him to leave. He's been jumping people and letting them go when he realizes they aren't his man -or woman."
"Ok," Tsuzuki said. He turned back to Watari and asked, "Should I make dumplings or just desert?"
Watari looked thoughtful for a moment. "Not all of us like sweet things," he said, he and Tsuzuki both looking at the now sweat-dropping Hisoka. "We should make a dinner so Hisoka will be happy."
"Hisoka will love it!!" Tsuzuki said, as a heart appeared near him.
Hisoka's exasperation turned quickly to a glare. "Would you two kindly not speak as if I weren't here!?!"
Watari and Tsuzuki sweat-dropped as the empathetic boy gave them a deadly glare. The two hugged each other tightly in terror as surely Hisoka was going to cause them serious pain.
"Errr," Tsuzuki and Watari said, "yes master."
Hisoka raised and eyebrow at them before leaving the room. "Bakas," he muttered.
*
[Midnight. Tsuzuki's kitchen. Meifu.]
Tsuzuki lay slumped over his counter, sobbing, as he was exhausted from cooking so long. Watari was hovering over him, waiting for the oven bell to chime, and hopefully signal Tsuzuki's first good tasting dish.
"Watari-Saaaaan, pleeeease let me go to beeeed," Tsuzuki whined.
"NEVER!!" Watari shouted and growled, yes, growled at him.
"But we've been cooking all day!! Since lunchtime!!" Tsuzuki cried.
"We'll cook until tomorrow's dinner if we have to," Watari said, his creepy tone causing Tsuzuki to turn into his inu chibi form. "I WANT THAT CRAB!!"
"But-"
DING!!! The oven bell chimed, silencing to two men.
"It's done!!" Watari said eagerly.
Tsuzuki forgot his fatigue and ran over to the oven, He put on oven mitts and quickly pulled out the lasagna they were making. (A/N: Sorry. I couldn't think of anything else. Lets pretend it's a Japanese food k?)
"It looks alright..." Watari said and poked the pasta with a stick. "It's not alive, and it smells enticing.. Let's see how it tastes."
Grabbing a small spoon, Watari took a bite out of the lasagna and chewed it slowly, fearing what it would taste like.
.....
Moments passed and Watari finally swallowed it. He starred in silence at Tsuzuki, causing the inu chibi to sweat-drop.
.....
"Well?" Tsuzuki asked, folding his hands hopefully.
......
"Tsuzuki-San," Watari said slowly and sternly, therefore scarring the crap out of the ninety-someodd year old shinigami.
"Uhh," Tsuzuki said and backed away slowly.
Watari glared at him for a moment longer.....and then....
"OH MY GOD IT WAS GOOD!!!!"
Tsuzuki -after hiding under a chair in fear of a painful blow-, stood and excitedly ran over to the scientists.
"It's good!? It's really good?!? You're not lying, you actually like it?!" He jumped up and down in excitement and gripped hands with Watari -his tail wagging wildly. "It's really good?!?"
"Yes it is!!" Watari said proudly. "And tomorrow, we'll win us some crab!!"
"So does this mean I can go to bed?!"
"Yes!!"
"Zzzzz."
Without any warning, Tsuzuki abruptly fell down onto the floor in a deep sleep.
"Did I push you that hard?" Watari asked the sleeping boy. He heaved Tsuzuki onto his shoulders and carried him upstairs to his room, where he put him to bed. "I guess I'll spend the night tonight, since I don't feel like walking home. Hopefully Tatsumi, Bon and Hakushaku won't get any ideas about this...[1]"
Watari quietly shut Tsuzuki's door, got a blanket from a linen closet, and fell asleep on the couch.
***
[1] In the manga, Hakushaku has a big crush on Tsuzuki. Who doesn't? Hakushaku, Muraki, Hisoka, Tatsumi, and Watari all have feelings for him, though Watari and Hakushaku's aren't as strong as Hisoka's and Tatsumi's, and Muraki's feelings are all based on lust. But still, they all love him!
DOES ANYONE KNOW WHY WATARI CALLS HISOKA BON? I'm kinda new to Yami and I don't have a clue as to why he does that. Please let me know!
I guess I'll just end the chapter here. The next portion of the fic gets all serious, so I wanted to separate it from the lighter stuff. I hope I grabbed your attention with this fic. I planned it out and it should turn out to be really great. Hopefully I will update more frequently than I did on Night Shaded Dream.
There is some MAJOR competition for Tsuzuki's love from Tatsumi and Hisoka in this fic. Watari hits on Tsuzuki a little bit, but he doesn't have a romantic love for him in this fic.
NOTE:: I wrote a lot of reference to anime styles, like chibi and mushroom cloud sighs of relief. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then you don't know manga. So there!
Dear Readers,
Have you ever read Yami no Matsuei?? It's so good!! I LOVE TSUZUKI- SAN!! He's so sweet!! I like the "I'm cute, give me a cookie" type of guy. -^_^- They're so cute you just wanna go and give 'em a big hug!! .....Or is that just me? Hmmm....*Ponder*
But have you ever noticed that there are no good fics where Tsuzuki is tortured? THAT'S WHERE I COME IN!!!
Sincerely,
Lady Hiten
Summary: Everyone knows that Enmacho's shinigami can't die. *Grin* An evil demon casts a spell on my darling Tsuzu-Chan.. Err. I mean the almighty Tsuzuki-Sama; a spell in which not even Watari noticed (but that's not saying much, since he didn't notice Sargantana's curse either). Anyway! The curse is very dangerous to shinigami; it allows him to maintain his injuries.. and die. DUN DUN DUN!!!
Rated PG13 for violence and angst
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"Waii!! It's time for dinner!!" Tsuzuki cried triumphantly. "I prepared it myself, so dig in!"
Hisoka, Watari, and Tatsumi all slowly backed away from the table, where a meal was laid out, delicious smelling and looking, yet lethal. For underneath the surface, was a meal so terrible, so deadly, that it could cause one to pass out for days -After all, Tsuzuki's cooking had done that to someone once before.
"Y-y-you know Tsuzuki," Watari said, "I'm really not all that hungry today." Watari scooted far from the table and put on a mendacious smile. He laughed uneasily and a sweat drop formed behind his head. He laughed again, and disappeared behind the door.
"I have some money that I need to count," Tatsumi said and quickly ran away. 'And some paychecks to lower....namely yours.'
"Tsuzuki," Hisoka said and glared at him as usual, "your sister is crying in the other world because your cooking sucks."
Tsuzuki's lip quivered and his eyes began to mist. "You really don't like my cooking, do you?" he asked softly.
"No we don't," Hisoka said sternly and glared.
From behind the door, the familiar faces of Tatsumi and Watari appeared, eager to see the affects of Hisoka's painful and excruciatingly true words.
"The truth really does hurt," Watari whispered to Tatsumi.
"Whoo!" 003 hooted from on his shoulder.
Tsuzuki hung his head and clenched his fists. He bit his lip, and his shoulders began to shake slightly. "Well then...I guess..." his head shot up and a determined smile appeared on his face. He raised his fist up in closed-minded obstinacy and said, "I guess I'll just have to try harder!!"
Hisoka sweat-dropped, and Watari and Tatsumi fell face first onto the floor.
"For dinner tomorrow, I'll cook something you all will love!!" Tsuzuki said and smiled at the group. "I'll make the best meal you've ever had!!"
"AAAGH!!" Watari said and scratched his head frantically in agitation. "Tsuzuki-san, if you cook one more meal-"
"If you don't like it, then I will never cook for you again," Tsuzuki volunteered suddenly.
"Will dinner be ready by six?" Tatsumi -who magically appeared before Tsuzuki- asked. He smiled evilly and said, "If we like this dinner of yours, I will give you enough money to go out for crab for a whole week."
"CRAB FOR A WHOLE WEEK?!?!" Watari and Tsuzuki asked eagerly. Tsuzuki shed great tears of joy as he imagined himself and Watari happily crunching on crab, while Watari was on the ground, sobbing at the impossibility of them EVER enjoying one of Tsuzuki's meals.
"However," Tatsumi said, gaining the attention of the food loving men, "if I don't like it, you will give me your next pay check, and will NEVER cook a meal for us again. Understood?"
"Yep!" Tsuzuki said and smiled. "But if you like it, I will still cook for you!"
'What are the chances of any of us liking one of his meals?' Tatsumi thought and grinned. He walked to the door where Hisoka stopped him.
"That's not a fair bet," Hisoka said, sensing the man's train of thought perfectly. "His cooking is horrible -to put it lightly; we all know this."
"That's why I made the bet," Tatsumi said and grinned before he walked out. "I'm going to get myself some take out."
"Speaking of take out," Hisoka said and moved his gaze from Tatsumi to Tsuzuki and Watari. "Tsuzuki, throw out that garbage you call food and order some Chinese."
"But I want tacos," Watari said and pouted slightly.
"Whatever," Hisoka said. "Just get something edible. I'm going to talk to Chief."
"Ok," Watari said as Hisoka left. He abruptly turned to Tsuzuki and gave the confused man a serious stare. "You and I are going to practice cooking. NOW!! I want some of that crab!!"
"But it's MY prize," Tsuzuki said and glared at the scientist.
"Yes, but unless you have someone to taste your nasty food, you won't know what Tatsumi will like," Watari said, knowing immediately that he would regret this.
Tsuzuki smiled and shook his hand. "Deal!!"
*
"There is a demon lurking about, near the boundaries of Enmacho," Chief Kanoe said to Hisoka from his desk. "He's prowling, attacking every worker who comes out, yet stops before actually hurting them. He's looking for someone."
"Any idea who?" Hisoka asked from his place leaned up against the wall, arms folded and serious.
"Not yet," Kanoe said. He leaned forward, folded his hands -for a dramatic effect- and continued. "We haven't sent anyone else on this case, since he hasn't killed or broken any laws yet. I figure you and Tsuzuki can go and persuade him to leave tomorrow. That'll be all for the day, so you can do it whenever you want, morning or evening."
"Evening will suit us," Hisoka said and sighed. "Tsuzuki won't want to waste any time preparing for his bet."
"Oh?" Kanoe asked and looked up at Hisoka. "What kind of bet?"
"Tatsumi will give him one week's worth of crab if Tsuzuki can make a meal he likes."
There was silence for a moment.......and then.......
"BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Kanoe roared. "WHOOHOOHOOHOOOHOO!!!"
He continued laughing for a while before his caught his breath and asked, "So what does Tatsumi get when he wins?"
"Tsuzuki's pay check -however meager it is. And Tsuzuki will never be permitted to cook for us ever again," Hisoka said and smiled knowingly.
"YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!" Kanoe cried and shot his fist triumphantly in the air. "What brilliant man, that Tatsumi!!"
"Yes, well.." Hisoka said and turned to leave. "I will tell Tsuzuki about the assignment later.
"YEESS!! No more crappy cooking!!" Kanoe cried as Hisoka closed the door.
"He doesn't even eat Tsuzuki's cooking, yet he feels such happiness....' Hisoka mused as he walked to his house. 'It really is a sad thing..But its perfectly understandable. I'm a little excited myself. Wonder what we'll get to eat from now on...'
*
"NOOO!! That's too much flour and baking soda!! You didn't put enough rice in this either!!" Watari yelled and pounded Tsuzuki on the head. "No wonder your meals are so nasty!!"
"I'm soo~~~rry!!" Tsuzuki whined and touched the bump -and magic appearing Band-Aid- on his head.
"Next time get it right!!" Watari screeched. He whapped Tsuzuki on the head again and dumped the contents of a large bowl into the sink. "Start over!!"
"Whoot!!" 003 hooted.
"That's right, 003," Watari said. He wheeled to face Tsuzuki, pointed and him and yelled, "You suck big time!"
'What is he....a Happy Bunny?' Tsuzuki asked himself and sobbed at the insult.
Hisoka -who was watching from the doorway-, cleared his throat to get their attention.
"Oh, hi Hisoka!" Tsuzuki called and waved -putting on his puppy appearance. "What's up?"
"I came to tell you," he said with a glare, "that we have an assignment tomorrow. A demon has been waiting for a worker, and Enmacho wants him to leave. He's been jumping people and letting them go when he realizes they aren't his man -or woman."
"Ok," Tsuzuki said. He turned back to Watari and asked, "Should I make dumplings or just desert?"
Watari looked thoughtful for a moment. "Not all of us like sweet things," he said, he and Tsuzuki both looking at the now sweat-dropping Hisoka. "We should make a dinner so Hisoka will be happy."
"Hisoka will love it!!" Tsuzuki said, as a heart appeared near him.
Hisoka's exasperation turned quickly to a glare. "Would you two kindly not speak as if I weren't here!?!"
Watari and Tsuzuki sweat-dropped as the empathetic boy gave them a deadly glare. The two hugged each other tightly in terror as surely Hisoka was going to cause them serious pain.
"Errr," Tsuzuki and Watari said, "yes master."
Hisoka raised and eyebrow at them before leaving the room. "Bakas," he muttered.
*
[Midnight. Tsuzuki's kitchen. Meifu.]
Tsuzuki lay slumped over his counter, sobbing, as he was exhausted from cooking so long. Watari was hovering over him, waiting for the oven bell to chime, and hopefully signal Tsuzuki's first good tasting dish.
"Watari-Saaaaan, pleeeease let me go to beeeed," Tsuzuki whined.
"NEVER!!" Watari shouted and growled, yes, growled at him.
"But we've been cooking all day!! Since lunchtime!!" Tsuzuki cried.
"We'll cook until tomorrow's dinner if we have to," Watari said, his creepy tone causing Tsuzuki to turn into his inu chibi form. "I WANT THAT CRAB!!"
"But-"
DING!!! The oven bell chimed, silencing to two men.
"It's done!!" Watari said eagerly.
Tsuzuki forgot his fatigue and ran over to the oven, He put on oven mitts and quickly pulled out the lasagna they were making. (A/N: Sorry. I couldn't think of anything else. Lets pretend it's a Japanese food k?)
"It looks alright..." Watari said and poked the pasta with a stick. "It's not alive, and it smells enticing.. Let's see how it tastes."
Grabbing a small spoon, Watari took a bite out of the lasagna and chewed it slowly, fearing what it would taste like.
.....
Moments passed and Watari finally swallowed it. He starred in silence at Tsuzuki, causing the inu chibi to sweat-drop.
.....
"Well?" Tsuzuki asked, folding his hands hopefully.
......
"Tsuzuki-San," Watari said slowly and sternly, therefore scarring the crap out of the ninety-someodd year old shinigami.
"Uhh," Tsuzuki said and backed away slowly.
Watari glared at him for a moment longer.....and then....
"OH MY GOD IT WAS GOOD!!!!"
Tsuzuki -after hiding under a chair in fear of a painful blow-, stood and excitedly ran over to the scientists.
"It's good!? It's really good?!? You're not lying, you actually like it?!" He jumped up and down in excitement and gripped hands with Watari -his tail wagging wildly. "It's really good?!?"
"Yes it is!!" Watari said proudly. "And tomorrow, we'll win us some crab!!"
"So does this mean I can go to bed?!"
"Yes!!"
"Zzzzz."
Without any warning, Tsuzuki abruptly fell down onto the floor in a deep sleep.
"Did I push you that hard?" Watari asked the sleeping boy. He heaved Tsuzuki onto his shoulders and carried him upstairs to his room, where he put him to bed. "I guess I'll spend the night tonight, since I don't feel like walking home. Hopefully Tatsumi, Bon and Hakushaku won't get any ideas about this...[1]"
Watari quietly shut Tsuzuki's door, got a blanket from a linen closet, and fell asleep on the couch.
***
[1] In the manga, Hakushaku has a big crush on Tsuzuki. Who doesn't? Hakushaku, Muraki, Hisoka, Tatsumi, and Watari all have feelings for him, though Watari and Hakushaku's aren't as strong as Hisoka's and Tatsumi's, and Muraki's feelings are all based on lust. But still, they all love him!
DOES ANYONE KNOW WHY WATARI CALLS HISOKA BON? I'm kinda new to Yami and I don't have a clue as to why he does that. Please let me know!
I guess I'll just end the chapter here. The next portion of the fic gets all serious, so I wanted to separate it from the lighter stuff. I hope I grabbed your attention with this fic. I planned it out and it should turn out to be really great. Hopefully I will update more frequently than I did on Night Shaded Dream.