It was scary how much you could love a person. It was simply a chemical reaction in the brain; something fleeting, even trivial, but he felt as though it could never leave his system.
The way you could look at a person, look at them at their entirety, and feel such an unbelievable sensation of emotions terrified him. He feared giving all of himself to a person; love fades, love turns once endearing traits to annoyances. But what he feared more was the unwavering ability of the one he loved to love him. No matter the situation, the blinding passion sent to him was nearly unbearable, to the point where he had to get away from it. It drove him away, but brought him closer. This blinding passion scared him; he worried he would be unable to live up to the love, be unable to return such intense feelings, but not once did the feelings to him waver, or change.
He had wanted them gone, these feelings he'd grown to rely on, and did all he could to destroy them, to show they weren't meant for him. He didn't deserve such loyalty when he could barely commit himself, yet no matter how he tried to drive them away, drive everyone away, he was still loved, still wrapped in a smoldering embrace.
But as he lied here, the darkness unnerving him as though he was still a child, he could imagine the sun striking the golden hair resting against his chest and glowing nearly as brightly. He could imagine perfect blue eyes showing that intense passion the moment they open, a small smile playing at pink lips, and tan limbs against pale skin. He could imagine the smoldering embrace, something he still could barely handle, and a patient and careful lover asking for permission for a morning kiss, teasing him for bed head and making him his favorite breakfast. He could imagine sitting at the table, sharing tales of dreams with an enthusiastic voice, getting overly excited for a simple dream, a simple fleeting moment. He could imagine the town, the one he had wanted gone, having no effect on him, even with stares and whispers as he watched the sun on earth great everyone he passed, keeping careful to avoid large groups and heading to seclusion. He could imagine leaving the town, a pang of guilt at a flash of an expression on beautiful features; fear, he knew, if they were to be apart again. Fear there for a moment, and gone, as they sat along the shore and he could see the boy he loved turn into the man he loved, as smooth as the lake at the surface, but a thriving, intense place beneath.
It scared him to think that someone as perfect as this could be so patient, so careful, so loving, and so accepting of every mistake and every flaw. It scared him to think someone as beautiful as this could never give up on someone as broken down as himself, and never once ask for more. It scared him to think he was in love; a love so blinding, so beautiful, and so confusing. It scared him to think he was thankful that every mistake couldn't take this away from him. It scared him to think a glimpse of golden hair and a dazzling smile was all he needed to keep going.