000
"LUNALA!" a deep voice echoed throughout the Hall of Legends. It was repeated several times, which was starting to vex the unusually quiet vicinity. Usually it was much more noisy and chaotic, but with the increased number of Total Pokemon based competitions, most of the legends were gone and the ones that were left were the quiet ones. Well...at least the usually quiet ones.
"LUNALA! WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU?!" a large white lion exclaimed while running around the hall, trying to locate his counterpart.
He had a blunt muzzle with a blue-gray nose and pale blue eyes. The top half of his face was a deep blue that shows a constantly changing starscape. Four yellow spikes framed his head like a crown and two more pairs of spikes adorned either side of its lower jaw, and each spike separates large tufts of his mane. Solid ridges—red nearest his head and yellow farther away—poked out of each tuft along the middle, except on the tufts on his cheeks and chin, with the top part wrapped around the tip of the tuft. Overall, his mane created the appearance of a stylized sun. There was a dark orange band around each leg and there is a black spot on each foot. He had three black toes on each foot with long yellow claws. At the tip of his tail was a large black spot with a thin yellow rim. He was Solgaleo, emissary of the Sun.
At the moment, he was entering different rooms in the hall, still trying to find Lunala. After checking the numerous social areas such as the living room, den, basement, and center, he was growing annoyed.
Arceus, the Alpha Pokemon, was annoyed as she sat in her room with Giratina, her mate. Yes, the two opposing Pokemon were mates, no one really understood it other than themselves, but it was not a subject to be questioned anyway.
The two of them were loving the fact that the only legendaries that were left at the hall were either calm, quiet, or unbothered. That was...until Solgaleo started running around looking for Lunala. Though, they could only blame themselves for that.
"LUNALA!" they heard through the thick walls of their room.
Giratina groaned. "Maybe we should have made him bring her here earlier before we gave our answer…"
Arceus nodded in agreement. The two had given Solgaleo the 'okay' that he and Lunala could start their own mini series, just so they got the hang of the whole competition thing. The only reason that the other legends hadn't had to go through a trial was because they had already dealt with their own version of the competitions they were hosting; all of the legendaries of Alola, whom Arceus created after, hadn't.
"You want me to just get them and bring them back?" asked Giratina.
"It'd be appreciated…" Arceus replied with a nod.
Giratina nodded and phased through the floor of their room. Arceus looked at the clock on the wall next to their bed and a single minute went by before Giratina phased through the door in his Origin Forme, which he only ever changed to when he was aggravated or when the two of them were intimate.
He had the Sunne and Moone Pokemon wrapped in his wispy appendages on his back. He dropped them at the center of their room, with Lunala looking vexed, bags under her eyes, and Solgaleo having a normal expression. Arceus and Giratina both got up to the foot of their bed to look at the two of them.
"Are you two sure that you want to do this?" asked Giratina. "It's a lot of work and you'll likely have some brats as contestants…"
Solgaleo, who was usually hesitant, nodded, while Lunala yawned. "Did this have to happen in the morning? It's 11: 47 in the morning…"
"Is that an issue?" asked Arceus.
"You know that I always sleep through the morning and get up at 6 PM now…" she grumbled. "It's not my fault he sleeps through the night…"
"Um...you two are opposites, of course that's going to happen.." Giratina said, not sure about why she was complaining. "Plus, if this show's gonna happen, you're both have to stay up for a long time. Unless you decide to implement something that allows you to keep that sleep schedule…"
"We can do that?" asked Solgaleo.
"I don't really like that idea. It shows a bit of unprofessionalism in my eyes…" Arceus commented. "But, because this is you guys' trial run, I'll be lenient. We'll see how well you do with whatever you decide to have happen."
Lunala yawned again. "Great...so can I go back to bed?"
Arceus opened up a drawer next to the bed and gave her a can that had the label 'Awakening' on it. "Here, drink this…" she stated as she levitated it to Lunala.
The celestial bat cupped her hands to receive the beverage can and took a swig of it. Her eyes widened immediately and she shuddered from the taste; The taste was both bitter and sour at the same time.
"Well, that woke me up. What's in that?" she said, smacking her lips to get the taste out of her mouth.
"We don't know", Giratina replied. "Mewtwo made those. You'll have to ask him."
"So", Solgaleo started, "when do we start?"
"Well, first, you have to get people to sign up for your show", Giratina explained. "Make a commercial or ad and give people an application to fill out."
Lunala and Solgaleo exchanged glances. "And uh...who do we choose?"
"Well, uh...that's...pretty much up to you", said Giratina. "Just choose who you think will cause the most drama or humor for your show…"
"And because you two are just starting, I say just choose fourteen competitors…" said Arceus. "Just so it's not so overwhelming…"
"Alright…" said Lunala. "And...can we choose based on what region they're from? I want to make our series different and have it-"
"It's whatever you decide to have it be…" Arceus interrupted, knowing what she was going to say. "Now, use Mew's laptop and set up everything. Then, let us know when you've chosen your players…"
The duo nodded before heading out of the Alpha and Renegade Pokemon's room. After the two of them left, the two of them stared at each other and started to kiss.
-000-
2 MONTHS LATER
-000-
The branched evolutionary legends returned to Arceus and Giratina's room. They had made everything and chosen their fourteen competitors. They had to go through over 200 different audition tapes; they had forgotten the fact that these shows had gotten extremely popular.
"So...how did it go?" asked Arceus.
"There were so...many...losers…" Lunala stated bluntly. "Out of like...how many were there?"
"261…" Solgaleo stated with a deadpan, exhausted tone.
"Yeah. 261...only like...32 of them were actually decent or interesting!" Lunala exclaimed.
"Well, that's usually how it goes…" said Giratina. "You have any idea how many rejected tapes the others have had to dump into Heatran's room and burn?"
"No. How many?"
"You seriously think we have the actual number?" Giratina retorted, raising a brow.
"Oh…" the lion said, looking to the side.
"So, did you two set your starting date?" asked Arceus. "And did you let the applicants know they were chosen?"
The two of them immediately groaned and sprawled on the ground. The couple looked down at them and shook their heads.
"Uh...are you two sure that you want to go through with this?" asked Giratina.
The two of them got up and sighed. "Yes…" they both groaned.
"Just let them know that you'll start next week…" said Arceus. "Or if you want to do it earlier, you can start this upcoming Thursday…"
The two of them looked at each other before turning back to the couple and nodding.
"Alright, just go send them a few emails and go from there…" Arceus explained. "And have you decided where you want them to meet you?"
"Akala Ferry Terminal…"
"Okay, great", Arceus replied. "Go on and finish up…"
The two left the room again, leaving the couple alone to ponder.
"How do you think they'll do?" asked Giratina.
Arceus sighed. "I'm not so sure. Sure, they got some experience from Mew and Victini's show, but I'm not sure how they're gonna act with just each other…"
"Well, we can always give them a moderator…" said Arceus. "I think Necrozma is free…"
"But do you think he'd want to deal with this?" Giratina replied. "He's new himself, but he's already proved himself to be more serious and abrasive than these two…"
"Isn't that good?"
"With their personalities, probably not…" said Giratina. "I say we just let them be for now…"
Arceus sighed. "Alright...whatever you say, love…"
The two kissed briefly.
000
The duo was seen at a dock in front of a large building with a blue roof.
"WELCOME ALL TO TOTAL POKEMON: ALOLA!" Lunala exclaimed cheerily. "Fourteen competitors with compete for 100,000 Poke while enduring some of the most sickening, craziest, and suck-tacular challenges imaginable!"
"That may be an over exaggeration, but the competition will definitely be tough…" Solgaleo stated with a smile, making Lunala give him a dirty look.
"DId you have to make it sound lame?" asked Lunala. "This is our first time doing this. DON'T MAKE IT SOUND BAD!"
Solgaleo groaned and rolled his eyes. "The players will be separated into two teams, and after the challenge, whoever loses will have to vote out one of their fellow players. This will keep going on until we're down to the final two and whoever wins the grand challenge becomes the winner of Total Pokemon: Alola!" he explained with a small smile.
"And now that you all know the rules of the game, let's meet our competitors…"
The two looked out to sea, but nothing was approaching as of yet. The hosts exchanged nervous glances.
"Uh...I said….let's meet our competitors!" Lunala repeated.
They looked out to sea and saw nothing yet again.
"Darn it, are you sure you put-"
"And here they come now!" Solgaleo said, seeing a small ferry in the distance.
Lunala sighed in relief. "I guess we went a bit too fast with the intro…" she said sheepishly.
"Or you put a later time…" Solgaleo muttered.
"What was that?!"
"And our first player here is…"
The first ferry arrived with a small, ovoid black Pokemon with six pink spikes, three on each side of its back, on it. He had a white mouth that resembled the Daimonji and two pink, beady eyes.
"Pyukumuku! How are you, buddy?" asked Lunala.
"I was actually surprised that you chose me!" he said cheerily. "T-Thank you! Maybe I can make friends here!"
"Hey, you can always hope and it more than likely won't happen…" Lunala said, causing Pyukumuku to look down in sadness and for Solgaleo to blanch, which could mainly be seen in his expression.
"Uh...you'll be fine, little guy", said Solgaleo. "You'll make some friends here, I'm sure. Now, go hang out in the terminal."
Pyukumuku's attitude didn't change, but he did as he was instructed and hopped to the terminal.
The next ferry approached the dock, bringing forth a light gray reptilian Pokemon with numerous scales on her body. She had dark gray arms and legs. She also had yellow and red markings on her. She had a beak-like snout and angular eyes. She had yellow claws on her arms and legs. She also had numerous scale plates. There was a yellow one with a light yellow, heart-shaped stripe across it on her forehead. Two circular scales covered the front of her neck; both were light yellow with darker edges. The tops of her arms were covered by three overlapping scales. The first two scales were gray with a yellow rim, but the last scale was red with a yellow rim and was bigger than the other two. At the tip of her tail was a small, circular scale. That last scale had a light yellow portion before ending in a darker yellow.
"Hakamo-o….nice to see that you've made it!" Solgaleo greeted.
"Uh huh…" she responded, her arms folded. "So, how many others are coming before we can start this and I can actually win?"
"Well, someone's certainly confident…" said Lunala. "We'll see how long that lasts; and you're just the second to arrive, so there are twelve left after you…"
"Yep, so head on inside of the terminal and wait there…" Solgaleo instructed.
Hakamo-o rolled her eyes before heading to the terminal.
-000-
Inside of the terminal, Pyukumuku was sitting in a chair, nervous about meeting the other competitors. He had been excluded from every single social event he's ever showed up for. He's even been excluded from his own birthday parties! He heard the door of the terminal open and immediately took a deep breath. "Okay...you can do this Pyukumuku…" he whispered to himself. "You...can make...a friend…"
"Uh...are you talking to yourself?" he heard as he turned and saw Hakamo-o looking down at him. He wasn't expecting her, so he immediately yelled and jumped from the chair in fright. Hakamo-o huffed and rolled her eyes upon seeing that. If this was going to be her competition, this was going to be child's play.
"To answer your question…" she heard as she saw a white hand reach for the seat next to her and pull the small guy back up.
"Yes…" he answered.
"Okay…" she said before sitting down on the seat he was originally in.
Pyukumuku didn't know what to say to really start a conversation with her; what do you talk about with a Dragon and Fighting-type that looked ready to eat you alive?
"So...uh...come here often?"
Hakamo-o gave him a look before moving to the seat on the opposite side, causing Pyukumuku to sigh, realizing the idiotic question that he proposed.
-000-
The next ferry pulled up, carrying a strange mushroom-like Pokemon. He had large black eyes with small, light green circles on the outer sides of them and a medium-sized black mouth. He had a large, purple mushroom cap on his head with a glowing, green underside and spots on the top. His body resembled a stalk and his arms were thin with three green tips. Its lower half was pink in color with bumps around its midsection.
"Shiinotic! How are you?"
The Illuminating Pokemon didn't respond, as his smile only got wider. "I am doing perfectly fine as long as the overlord of light allows me to drain the fluids of everyone in my way. The way the grass grows in the sky really lets us know that all hope is lost as the world will be consumed in a ball of fire…" he said in a very honeyed tone. "Yeah…."
The two hosts exchanged looks of fear. What he said was extremely creepy, but his facial expression and tone of voice were the exact opposite. Well, mainly his tone.
"Great story, uh…" Solgaleo stated. "G-Go on and head into the terminal…"
"The overlord can't protect us all...it protects no one as long as the monkeys of the universe are loose from their barrel…" he said, allowing his arms to graze against both hosts, who shuddered.
"Remind me why we chose him?" Lunala explained.
"We needed the weird guy…" Solgaleo replied.
Lunala sighed as the next ferry came into view. The Pokemon that came off of it resembled a mongoose. She had brown fur with a yellow underbelly and tuft of fur on her head resembling a beret. There were tufts of fur near her shoulders, hips, and base of her tail. She had rounded, notched ears, a pink nose, and sharp teeth. Her eyes were barely hidden under her stripe and she had yellow fur on her chin as well. There were black claws on each of her paws.
"I have arrived at the island location and am preparing to greet said hosts…" she spoke into a tape recorder, which she placed into a slot on the leather belt she was wearing.
"Gumshoos...welcome", Lunala greeted.
"It's a pleasure to meet you both…" she greeted. "How's the rest of my competition looking?"
"Uh...you're gonna have to find that out for yourself…" Solgaleo chuckled. "Head on into the terminal."
A bit confused by what he meant by that, Gumshoos padded to the building.
-000-
She looked through the window and saw Hakamo-o and Pyukumuku sitting on the opposite side of Shiinotic, who had stopped babbling nonsense was just staring at the two of them with a creepy smile. Once she opened the door, Shiinotic turned around abruptly, causing her to recoil back from shock.
The other two gulped were relieved to not have his soulless eyes and smile in their direction for a while.
"Uh...hi…" Gumshoos greeted, uncomfortable about the eye contact that she and Shiinotic were currently engaged in.
As she moved across the room, she felt his eyes following her. She gained an idea, remembering what was happening to Pyukumuku and Hakamo-o.
She moved to a seat on the side of him, but not too close.
"H-Hi…" Pyukumuku greeted, waving using his innards.
"Salutations…" Gumshoos replied back before feeling a strange presence. She looked to her side and saw Shiinotic directly beside her. She blanched and jumped up out of fear. "When did you get up?!"
-000-
The next ferry arrived carrying a huge rusty, brown anchor and ship wheel held by a mass of seaweed. The anchor had numerous black spots. The seaweed covered the thick curved bottom of the anchor in a zigzag fashion, leaving empty spaces that look like sharp teeth. The seaweed continues up to cover entire thin shank of the anchor, as well as what appears to be a round, nose-like hub on the top. The wheel which looked a pale pinkish-purple with yellow details, was stuck to the back of this hub by its center and able to rotate freely. The wheel, which was damaged, featured six spokes and four yellow handles, as well as two lavender stubs where the other handles should be. A simple compass, resembling an eye, was set to a ring-shaped part on one side of the wheel; there was another ring on the opposite side, but nothing was inside of it.
"Huh...not gonna lie, I expected something more spectacular…" it stated. "But then again, knowing these shows, there's nothing spectacular about them."
"Dhelmise...this is just the meeting area. Nothing spectacular is going to be happening just yet…" Lunala explained.
"Whatever…" he said as he floated towards the building, already guessing that it was where he had to wait.
"Well, he's going to be pleasant…" Solgaleo said sarcastically.
Lunala sighed as she saw the next ferry approaching.
As it popped up, a red canid did a flip forward with music playing in the background on her ferry.
She looked like a bipedal wolf. Her fur was red with white on her lower legs and as a streak that covers her face, tail, and underside. She had folded ears with black tips, large fur tufts on the sides of her face. Her nose was black and triangular and her mouth was full of sharp teeth. Both of her eyes glowed completely pink. A white mane of fur covered her back and shoulders and swept over her head in a crescent shape. Two claw-shaped rocks were positioned under her arms and a larger stone came over her head and her paws all had three black claws.
"Lycanroc...welcome to the show…" Solgaleo greeted.
"Psyched to be here!" she said cheerily before letting out a howl. "I can't wait to get down and dirty…Let's get this party started!"
"I like you already…" Lunala stated. "Head on inside. We've got...eight more players to introduce and the fun and mayhem will begin…"
Lycanroc howled once again and headed to the terminal.
-000-
Lycanroc entered the room and saw that it was unusually silent inside. She realized that this was a new experience for them and all, but even THIS was too quiet for her. She liked being around lively people, so this bunch was already a let down.
"Hey, what's the matter with you guys, we're competing for 100,000 Poke! Aren't you all excited?!" she queried.
"I'm pretty sure we're all just trying to think of appropriate strategies at the moment…" Dhelmise stated. "Plus, with this skeevy guy just staring at all of us with a creepy ass smile, it makes you not want to say or do anything…"
"Oh come on dude, he's in this for the same reason as the rest of us. No need to discriminate…"
"I like you already!" Pyukumuku said, making Lycanroc chortle. "Thanks little man. Lunala said the same thing…"
"Second? Hooray! I'm not last for once!"
"You really expect someone else to say the same thing after she's already arrived?" Hakamo-o asked, resting her head on her arm.
"You never know…" Lycanroc said with a sly wink.
Hakamo-o rolled her eyes, while Gumshoos stifled her laugh.
-000-
The next Pokemon to arrive from the ferry was a large, bipedal feline with a muscular build. He had a short snout with a pink nose and bright green eyes with yellow sclerae. He had small, pointed ears and large tufts of fur extended from his cheeks. The top of his muzzle and the top and back of his head were black. A thin red stripe ran vertically across his head and formed V-shaped eyebrows for him. He had a gray body with black stripes adorning it. He had a belt of flames around his waist, resembling a championship belt. His arms, legs, and tail were red with black stripes. His hands, which had five fingers, were large with sharp white claws and pink paw pads in the center. Its legs had two striped and had three toes without claws visible. His tail had one strike and a tuft of spiky fur around the tip.
"Incineroar! How you doing, man?"
Incineroar gave them a smirk. "I'm fine. But these others probably won't be when I'm done…"
"Interesting...and pretty intimidating. Better try not to make too many enemies…" Lunala stated. "Head on into the terminal…"
Incineroar nodded and started walking to the building.
The next ferry pulled up shortly as the Incineroar's sank. The next Pokemon to hop off held a dismal expression as she hopped on the dock. She was round in shape and gray in color. She had a white face and two round, circular ears situated above her face. She had two black eyes with a small black nose at the end of a short snout; she had yellow markings on her cheeks. Her arms and legs were stubby and white in color. She had numerous yellow and brown triangular patterns on her back and sides. A gray, thunderbolt-shaped needle was situated at the back of her head and was tipped in yellow.
"Togedemaru! How's life been treating you?" asked Lunala.
Togedemaru looked at them and just left without saying a word.
"Good chat…" Solgaleo stifling his laughter as Lunala growled to herself.
000
Incineroar was standing against the wall of the terminal with a toothpick he had gotten from the dispenser on the front counter. Lycanroc was currently eyeing him from across the room, her tail wagging like crazy.
Dhelmise noticed this and groaned. "Geez, calm down…" he said. "I didn't shrink myself down for this competition just to see you drool over an overgrown housecat…"
"Got a problem with me, seaweed?" Incineroar stated, hearing him. "If the lady wants to drool, let her drool. You're not glued to the chair…"
Dhelmise gave him a look. "Last time I checked, I was here first and she decided to sit next to me so...she should be the one to move…"
"Does it fucking matter?" asked Hakamo-o. "It's not harming you, so deal with it…"
"It's offending the senses…"
"You're seaweed. I didn't know you had fee-"
"ALL shall perish as the mighty music of the world continues to played and enters the sphincters of the unholy…" Shiinotic stated, causing everyone to stare at him.
The door opened and everyone turned to see Togedemaru enter with her same dismal expression. She immediately sat down in the chair nearest to the door.
Seeing this expression, the girls immediately knew not to talk to her at that moment. Incineroar decided to just ignore her, Dhelmise didn't care, Shiinotic was...Shiinotic, but Pyukumuku…
"Uh...are you okay?"
His reply was a Thunderbolt, which knocked him out immediately. Unluckily for Togedemaru, though, Pyukumuku's ability caused her to faint automatically as well.
There was silence after that occurred.
"Well, that was well deserved…" Dhelmise stated.
"Which?" asked Gumshoos. "It didn't look deserved on either side to me…"
"Any guy knows not to talk to a girl with an attitude, so it was his own fault…" Dhelmise said.
"Yes, trying to see if something's wrong with someone warrants an attack…" Incineroar stated, rolling his eyes as he burned the toothpick in his mouth.
"If the girls don't say anything, you don't either…"
The girls remained quiet, not wanting to talk about the situation.
-000-
The next competitor resembled a large stuffed bear. His head, back, and tail were pink and he had a black front. His arms and legs were black. He had a white snout with black beady eyes. He had a white headband-like marking and fluffy ears that extended from it. His tail had a darker pink stripe around it
"Bewear! Welcome…"
"Hallo…" he greeted in a rather grainy, roar-like tone, waving.
Lunala giggled. "Are you ready for the competition?"
"Okay…" he said in the same tone.
"You wanna go into the building?" asked Solgaleo, the bear's voice irritating him.
"Is there people inside?"
"Yes."
"Yay! Social status!" he said, raising his arms as he walked to the building.
"Well, he was better than Togedemaru…" Lunala commented.
"Yeah, but his voice was just...awful…" Solgaleo said, shuddering. "And-"
Hinges were heard being broken as the two legendaries turned around and saw Bewear holding the door above his head and snapping it like a toothpick.
They were both blanching, especially when they started hearing shouts come from inside of the terminal.
"They'll be fine…" said Lunala, easily brushing the situation to the side, much to Solgaleo's surprise and annoyance.
The next ferry arrived and a large mare climbed off. She had a brown body and a black-and-red mane and tail. She had heavy lidded black eyes with red rims on the bottom. She had a red blaze on her muzzle and long black ears with brown insides. Her mane extended along her back and had three thin structures on either side with red mud at the ends that resemble dreadlocks. Her tail was much larger and had black notches missing from the mud around the tip. She had red mud around her legs, which had three notches around the bottom.
"Mudsdale", Lunala greeted. "Ready for the competition?"
"I suppose that I am…" she said with a smile. "I think my strength will allow me to make it further than the others. I mean...as long as no one is as strong as I am…"
The hosts exchanged glances. "Head on in and converse with the others…" Solgaleo said.
Mudsdale nodded and walked to the door, which she saw was torn from its hinges and broken on the ground. She peeked into the building and saw a Togedemaru starting to sit up.
Among the others, she saw a rather familiar looking Bewear, making her eyes widen. Upon seeing her, he smiled and waved at her.
"Muddy!" he greeted.
"Oh Arceus why…" she whispered to herself as she suddenly felt extra weight on her back and saw that Bewear was no longer in the seat he was in.
"So, I take it that you two know each other…" said Incineroar, raising a brow.
"Yeah…" Mudsdale said, sitting down, making Bewear slide back down. "We grew up together…"
Bewear hugged her from behind, being sure not to hug her too tight. Mudsdale sighed.
"Looks like someone likes you…" Lycanroc said with a smirk.
Mudsdale gave her a look of knowing.
"Aw...how precious...a door breaker with a huge horse…" said Dhelmise. "Your children would eat each other alive…"
"CHILDREN?!" Mudsdale exclaimed, her eyes widened as she stood back up. "Oh no no no. NEVER gonna happen…"
"Hey, you never know…" Dhelmise edged on.
Mudsdale gave the seaweed ghost a dirty look, not wanting to be toyed with when it came to relationships.
000
The next ferry dropped off a large, serpentine-like dragon. Most of his skin was light blue, but the lower half of his face and the underside of his neck were a pale green. There were three spots on each of its sides that were light green, too. He had pink eyes with curved, yellow eyebrows, a small mustache, and a small, white beard with a circular end. He had a mop of white hair split into four rounded sections. Two draped down either side of his head. He had fluffy white fur covering the lower half of his body and hiding his arms. He also had a fluffy white tail and a small, curved spike on his back.
"Drampa! How are you, man?"
"Splendid. Thank you for asking…" he replied in a hoarse tone. He cleared his tone. "If you don't mind me asking, are any of the chil-I mean, other competitors here, yet?"
"Yep, they're right in there…" Solgaleo replied as he gestured to the building.
"Excellent…" he said as he immediately headed into the terminal.
"Uh...did he seem a bit weird to you?" asked Lunala.
"If they sign up for shows like this, they're all technically weird…" Solgaleo stated. "Shiinotic though...that's an entirely different level of weird…"
-000-
"Hello chirren…mmm", Drampa said as he entered the terminal. "Which one of you is the youngest?"
"Uh...why do you need to know?" asked Hakamo-o.
"Just curious. I wanna see where the fresh meat is gonna be coming from…" Drampa said with a dirty smile.
All of the others exchanged glances. They could tell that something wasn't right here…"
"PORN is the gateway of self regret and the yellow pages of the future will allow us all a place in the abyss of white cream cheese!" Shiinotic said, waving his arms in the air.
"Shiinotic...shut up", Gumshoos said, annoyed.
-000-
The next ferry dropped off a red bird. She had two lines of black feathers across each of her wings and tail. Her plumage resembled a frilly flamenco dress. She had a white ball with earring shaped spiral extensions at the back of her head. Her eyelids were purple and her tail was long.
She flew up and started dancing before taking a bow, the necklace she was wearing making a clinking sound.
"Nice performance, Oricorio", Lunala commented.
"Gracias senorita…" she thanked in a Spanish accent. "And what did the grande lindo león think?"
"Uh...very nice…" Solgaleo said, blushing at the compliment he was given.
Oricorio giggled.
"What's up with the necklace?" asked Lunala. "What do those charms represent?"
"Oh these are vials of my nectar…"
Upon hearing that, both hosts' eyes widened.
"Uh...I...didn't know that you were that conservative about your...uh…"
"Oh, no no...you dirty boy", Oricorio said. "I mean my nectar as in my flower nectar. I like to switch up my style day by day to make myself feel fresh…"
She lifted the yellow vial and dipped her beak inside, causing her appearance to change. Her feathers were puffy like pom-poms and she had white pants-like bottoms with pink, clawless feet. She didn't have a tail now and he feathers resembled a cheerleading outfit.
"2, 4, 6, 8. I'm gonna win there's no debate! Yeah!" she cheered as she took another drink of red nectar, changing her back to Baile Style.
She rolled her tongue immediately.
"Very interesting…" said Solgaleo. "Head on into the terminal. Try to lighten up the mood in there…"
"Seguro guapo~" Oricorio said as she flew toward the terminal.
-000-
Inside, Hakamo-o was panting furiously with an unconscious Drampa in front of her.
"Nice moves…" Incineroar commented with a smirk.
"The bastard shouldn't have touched me…" Hakamo-o growled, popping her knuckles.
Oricorio flew into the room. "Hola muchachas…" she greeted as she flew around the area before landing on the counter.
"What's up…" Lycanroc greeted.
"Hi…" Pyukumuku responded, as the others just remained silent.
"OBJECTION! Um...detective Gumtree, was it? Detective Gumtree?" Shiinotic said, turning to Gumshoos.
"Gumtree? It's GumSHOOS", she exclaimed. "And don't you dare finish that reference…"
"I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!"
"Uh...do I want to know what is wrong with him?" asked Oricorio.
"None of us know…" said Mudsdale, whom was still being hugged by Bewear. "He's just been spouting nonsense sporadically since some of us have gotten here…"
"Ah…" Oricorio said before noticing Drampa. "And...him?" she asked, pointing in his direction.
"He was stroking my side…" said Hakamo-o. "I don't play about that kind of thing unless we're screwing…"
"Well, you've heard it here gents, if you wanna rub her, you have to have banged her first…" Dhelmise said.
"NO! I mean that we have to be dating! I'm not shallow!"
"Gee, why so defensive?" Dhelmise asked, chortling.
Hakamo-o blushed and growled, folding her arms.
-000-
The second to last ferry arrived to the dock and a black-and-white lemur-like Pokemon hopped out with a large berry. Majority of his fur was white. He had a black muzzle, upper body, hands, and feet. White fur was around his face in clumps. He had a green berry helmet. The helmet had a orange blaze in the front and two leaves that stood straight up. His eyes were yellow with reddish-orange irises. There were leaf like markings on his shoulders and chest. He had a long tail and humanoid hands and feet.
"Passimian! What's up?!" Solgaleo greeted, raising a paw as Passimian high-fived him.
"How's it going man?" Passimian responded, his voice unusually husky.
Lunala blushed a bit, but got over it rather quickly. Passimian noticed her body language and saw her blush, which worried him a bit.
"Well, uh…" Passimian started, now feeling awkward about the situation. "Where am I supposed to go?"
"Oh, you go in there", said Solgaleo, gesturing to the terminal, where Incineroar was standing outside.
"Okay...uh...nice to meet you two…" he greeted as he walked to the terminal. Incineroar looked up, a new toothpick in his mouth, and upon seeing Passimian, his eyes widened. He saw him nod in greeting, which he nodded back. The toothpick immediately turned to ashes as he went back inside.
-000-
"Mother of Arceus, how many of us are going to be competing?" asked Mudsdale, looking around.
"If I recall, they said there are fourteen of us, and…" Gumshoos started as she started counting.
"Thirteen", Bewear said, finally releasing Mudsdale, much to her relief.
"Yep, thirteen", Gumshoos confirmed. "So we're waiting for the last one…"
"And what do you know, it's a girl. How obvious…" Dhelmise said, causing most of the girls to turn toward him with glares.
"Ooh...bad choice of words, man…" Passimian said, seeing the looks of anger on all of the girls' faces.
"Hey don't get your panties in a bunch, " Dhelmise stated. "It was obvious that they went boy-girl-boy...so if Passimian was thirteen, another girl is going to be the last one. Stop being so offended quickly…"
"You're not funny…" said Gumshoos. "Just know that you're not…"
Dhelmise stifled a laugh. "Who said I was trying to be? I was being serious, but your reactions are what made it funny…"
"Alright competitors…the last one of you has arrived, so please come on out so we can explain the game…"
000
All of the other competitors exited the Ferry Terminal, where most of the guys' mouths when agape upon seeing the last female competitor.
She was plant-like but had a humanoid body. Her torso, arms, and legs were dark purple, while her hips and head were white. She had a green calyx and she had a bang made from one of them. The other leaves looked like long hair with yellow-green marks on them. There was a crown-like growth with thin yellow stripes. She had heavy-lidded eyes like Mudsdale, but she had purple eyelashes, but no visible nose or mouth. The lower part of her face covered by a short ruff extending from her body. Her arms are slender and have no fingers on her hands,and her long legs resembled purple boots.
"Hi…" she greeted. "I'm...uh...what's my name again?"
"Tsareena…" Lunala replied. "Your name is Tsareena…" she replied.
"Alright, now that you're all here...welcome to Total Pokemon: Alola", Solgaleo greeted. "While you're competing here, you all will be separated into two teams of seven and you will have to stay with each other in the Tide Song Hotel for the duration of the competition."
"Um...and how will those hotel rooms be set up exactly?" asked Mudsdale, who had Bewear on her back again.
"Don't worry, the rooms aren't co-ed. The guys will be on one floor and the girls will be on another…"
"Aw, that's lame…" said Passimian.
"Hey, sorry. We don't want anyone getting pregnant…" said Lunala.
"Condoms exist…" Lycanroc said, causing everyone to look at her, as they were expecting to hear that from a guy.
"And condoms can break…" Lunala countered. "Trust me, I know…"
"Er...I'm sure we all knew…" Gumshoos said.
"What's a condom?" asked Tsareena.
"Something that you'll probably need surgically implanted into you…" Dhelmise commented.
"Oh...so like they do for butts and stuff?"
Hakamo-o felt slight breathing on her shoulder and saw Drampa's head slung over her shoulder, causing her to backfist him in the face, knocking him out cold.
"Each one of you will get your own room, which is already set up with an alarm to wake you up for breakfast", Solgaleo explained.
"The challenges will take place all around Alola on different islands, so prepare for a lot of going back-and-forth…" Lunala explained.
"Oh yay...more annoyance…" Togedemaru stated.
"Hey, maybe it won't be that bad…" Pyukumuku said, resulting in another Thunderbolt hitting him.
Togedemaru shook slightly before wincing.
"Now, I'm sure you all are curious as to who is on what team…"
"Well, the thought hadn't really crossed my mind, but I guess we are now…"
"TEAMS are nothing but a ploy by evil Oranguru to harvest our organs and devour our genitals. We shall never bare offspring…" Shiinotic stated, causing everyone to take a few steps away from him.
"Please tell me he's not on my team…" Hakamo-o begged.
"You're gonna see right now…" said Solgaleo. "Team One will consist of Bewear, Pyukumuku, Dhelmise, Lycanroc, Hakamo-o, Oricorio, and Tsareena. You all are the Stellar Solgaleos."
"Naming a team after yourself...how cliche…" Dhelmise stated.
"That means the rest of you; Passimian, Incineroar, Drampa, Shiinotic, Mudsdale, Togedemaru, and Gumshoos…" Lunala called. "You all are the Loyal Lunalas…"
"Great...we have the weirdo on our team…" said Mudsdale. "But...at least I don't have to deal with Bewear anymore…"
"Alright, follow us to the hotel", said Solgaleo. "We'll explain a couple more things when we get there and then you all are free to explore…"
"Tan emocionante!" Oricorio said as they all followed the hosts to the hotel.
"Wait, so by explore, you really mean explore?" asked Pyukumuku.
"We're not your parents, so as long as no one gets pregnant, do whatever you want…" said Lunala.
"Hmmm...no promises~" Lycanroc said to herself, eyeing Incineroar.
They arrived at the hotel in only five minutes and entered. Inside, the hotel had the normal counter and the lounging area with blue couches sitting around tables.
"Alright, follow us to the elevators…" Solgaleo said, walking toward the elevators.
Once they all were there, they noticed a list for each floor. It seemed to be custom made specifically for the show.
"Now, this is just the lounging area, as you can see there are just a couple of TVs, mirrors, and couches. The 2nd floor will have the buffet and basically the place to stuff your faces. The third and fourth floors are designated to the Solgaleos, while the fifth and sixth are for the Lunalas. The seventh floor serves as a recreational space with fitness equipment dominating the front half and video games dominating the remaining half. The rest of the hotel is off limits", Solgaleo explained.
"Now, come over here…" Lunala said floating towards a single door on the right of the floor. She opened the door, and there was a chair with a camera attached to the wall. "This will serve as a video diary of sorts. Essentially a confessional. Talk about whatever you want in there, whether it be secrets, strategies, or maybe even sing if you want. We don't care…"
"And I...think that's everything", said Solgaleo. "It's about...4:25 right now, so feel free to go out for a while. Your curfew will be 9:00, so if you don't make it back in time, you're gonna have to either find another way in or sleep outside…"
"Are we allowed to let anyone in?" asked Bewear.
"If you want to wake up and go down the elevator for someone who should've been back, then sure…" said Lunala. "I just know that I wouldn't…especially if they're on the opposite team…"
A few of them exchanged mischievous looks.
"And before you all leave to go wherever, why don't you all leave a confessional for the viewers watching at home?" Solgaleo suggested. "And don't worry, the place is soundproof…"
000
"Well...uh...so far this doesn't seem so bad…" Hakamo-o stated. "My only issue would probably be Drampa and Shiinotic, but neither of them are on my team, so that's a plus. I just hope who I'm stuck with for these next ten weeks are actually good players…"
000
"I've gotta say...and no offense to them...my team is looking a bit garbáge…" Passimian explained. "I mean...Incineroar and Mudsdale are alright, and Gumshoos looks like she knows quite a bit. But the rest of them?"
He sighed. "Please tell me how the hell a creepy guy who says random stuff, a creeper, and someone who needs Arceus are going to contribute anything to the team…"
000
"Mudsdale is pretty. But, since I'm going against her, I guess I have to crush her…" Bewear stated.
000
"As glad as I am not to have Bewear on my team, I have to say that I definitely prefer him over Shiinotic, Togedemaru, and Drampa combined!" Mudsdale commented.
000
"I hope I don't get eliminated early. I just want to make friends for once!" Pyukumuku said.
000
Gumshoos was talking into her tape recorder. "Log 201-B. I've been placed on the team and am currently making a confession. It is sure to be an interesting time."
She cleared her throat before putting her recorder back in her belt.
"Like I said, things should be interesting. There are quite a few characters here that pique my interest…" she said. "I'll admit, I'm probably the smartest one here. I've been researching and studying to become a detective and lawyer, so I think I have a good enough intellect to help me and my team succeed."
000
"I'll be honest, I'm just here to fuck with people", Dhelmise chuckled. "Did you see how quickly the girls were gonna jump down my non-existent throat just for saying something containing the words obvious and girl?"
"These people are going to be way too easy. I'll have to watch myself though, the money is still something that I'd like to have, and having a team dominated by females is going to give me a rough time…"
000
"Hehehe…" Drampa wheezed. "Let me tell you somethin' legendaries have got to be some of the dumbest fools to ever walk the face of tha earth. I'm only here to scope out the sexy li'l chirren that are gon' be around here…"
"But...100,000 Poke is a pretty close second to that. It's a shame that Hakamo-o is on the opposite team, but I've got some hunks of meat around me, so I think I'll be perfectly fine…"
000
Lycanroc howled. "I am SO excited for this competition. This hotel is looking just AWESOME! And the guys...umph, minus Shiinotic, Drampa, Dhelmise, and Pyukumuku, I'd let it be a Party Central with me…."
"And no, before you start judging me, I'm not a skank, slut, or whatever slur you want. I just like to have fun. That's the whole point of some competitions. Even if you lose, you may make some friends! That's what I'm hoping for mostly: a good time and hopefully getting along with some of the others…"
000
The camera began producing static one Shiinotic entered.
"WALLS are just the confines of our mind hiding the enigmatic layers of our esophaguses as…
/ZZZ/
Life and death as we know it will…
/ZZZ/
Consume us all as the universe implodes from the weight of…
/ZZZ/
A Barbaracles large, unusual…
/ZZZ/
Dingleberry stew with your organs and we shall…
/ZZZ*&^&%^/
Happily ever after with all of our limbs devoured by Guzzlord…" he finished with the same expression he had when he got in.
He sighed slowly as the camera began slowly zooming in on his face.
000
"Ooh….is this like an interrogation room?" Tsareena asked, seeing the camera and the empty chair.
She sat down. "I'm not tell you anything!"
She stood back up. "TALK!"
She sat back down. "No. I don't wanna!" she said, pouting.
She stood back up. "We'll buy you a muffin!"
She sat back down. "...What kind?"
She stood back up. "Chocolate…"
She sat back down. "I stole the penny from the ground! I didn't know it was concrete's!"
000
"Why...why why why am I here?" Togedemaru questioned. "I'm surrounded by nimrods who actually think that they have a chance at winning this game. I've done a lot of research on these shows. I even watched a whole marathon of these different things, which is why I'm fucking cranky right now. No sleep for. Three. Whole. Days. Just trying to come up with a good strategy that won't backfire…"
"I know that I've probably already made a bad impression due to my lack of sleep, but tomorrow's another day and I'll have to convince them that I'm an actual reliable player. But, they won't notice me slipping under their noses and destroying them from within."
"Too many villains make themselves known way too soon. I'm not going to do that. No one's going to catch me. No one is going to turn against me. I'm going to make sure of that…"
000
"Okay, this seems to be the perfect way to show the world how great I would be as an instructor and judge on 'So You Think You Can Dance?'" Oricorio stated. "They've rejected me far too many time. And this time…it is personal…"
000
Incineroar chuckled. "Gotta say. With the kooks they've got on this island, I probably won't need to sabotage anyone. They'll take themselves out and make it easier for me. Hmm...my only problem would probably be the sane ones, so Gumshoos, Mudsdale, and Passimian will have to go early. The other three will be fair game."
"Y'see, I have an eye for detail and I can notice and remember the small things about situations that can irk others", he explained. "And with that ability, I'm able to exploit any and everyone I feel like without an issue. I just gotta hope that these morons don't suddenly gain telepathy or a sense of awareness like-uh...um...I don't know, a Psychic-type!"
"Main point...this game...is mine…"
000
Bewear - The Oblivious Bodybuilder
Dhelmise - The Sarcastic Instigator
Drampa - The Pervy Pedo
Gumshoos - The Intelligent Agent
Hakamo-o - The Serious
Incineroar - The Crafty One
Lycanroc - The Party Girl
Mudsdale - The Bold
Oricorio - The Cheerful Choreographer
Passimian - The Friendly Jock
Pyukumuku - The Outcast
Shiinotic - The Creep
Togedemaru - The Cold and Calculating
Tsareena - The Ditzy Tease
000
Don't judge me. This is just another short thing that I may or may not complete. This idea has been on my mind for a while, so let me know what you think. Don't expect frequent updates with this since I'm still gonna be working on the last three episodes of TPPI and then I'm gonna take a LOOOOOONG break (for real this time! :O). So yeah, just leave me your thoughts and predictions about the cast and what you think the challenges are going to be like. Thanks for reading and I'll see you all next time. See ya guys, BYE!