Defining Love
By: TheFifthCharmedOne
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or snow. They both belong to higher powers then me. xP
Summary: Snow in November? Lily Evans doesn't like it. Can James Potter change that? L/J Snowy oneshot.
A/N: Mmk this was inspired by the random snowfall in my hometown…in November! Hope you enjoy!
-X-X-X-
Snow.
White.
Fluffy.
Falls from the sky.
Cold.
Frozen rain.
It's disgusting.
Don't get me wrong; I like the snow, it's just it's way too early. I mean, snow, in November? It's just like summer heat in October, it's just wrong.
I know Christmas is nearing, but why is Mother Nature making it come earlier then December?
I was sitting in my dormitory in the Head Tower at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I was trying to do my homework, but I kept getting distracted by the twirling snowflakes just outside my window. I sat my chin in my palm and watched it, well, actually, more like glared at it, as though it was the source of my problems. I could see distant specks flying around the Quidditch Pitch, and I had no doubt one of them was James, yelling directions for his team. My friend Alyssa Foster, nicknamed Liss, was one of those team members, and she constantly complained about James being a slave driver.
Deciding it was a fruitless effort to work on my homework; I grabbed my cloak and went outside. Even if it was snowing, it was a very light snow, and the ground was wet from the recent rain, so the snow was melting as soon as it touched the ground. I wandered around the grounds, and found myself outside of the Quidditch Pitch. Everyone was landing from their practice, and I saw Liss among them. She looked annoyed and tired, which meant that she would take out her anger on the next person that wasn't on her team. Namely, me.
Knowing this, I went in the opposite direction of the Pitch, hoping no one saw me.
"Lily!"
Damn it.
Liss ran out from the Pitch, she must have seen my stupid carrot top head. Why did I have to inherit the red hair of the family? Why me? "Potter is such a jerk," she started to rant, and I tuned her out.
By Potter, she meant James Potter. I know I mentioned him earlier, but I didn't say much about him. He's the Captain of the Quidditch Team and Head Boy to my Head Girl. He also used to be the bane of my existence, but instead of creating a headache for myself by going into that, I'll just say that things have changed between us, and now we're friends, not best friends, but friends all the same.
If you're into the whole bad boy prankster with a sensitive side thing, then James Potter would be perfect for you. He's the leader of the notorious Marauders, who were famous for four things. Snogging, flirting, pranking, and getting into trouble. They were supposedly experts at all four, not that I knew anything about the snogging or flirting part, but I had watched more than my fair share of their stupid pranks over the years, and I'd also seen McGonagall nearly have a stroke every time they evaded trouble with their wit and charm.
I'm not into that, but some people, namely many of the desperate girls at Hogwarts, are, and I wish them all the best. Really.
Damn, that sounded phony even in my head.
"Lily? Lily? You in there?" Liss brought me out of my thoughts by snapping her fingers in my face. We were in Gryffindor Tower, the Common Room to be precise. Not many people were in here, most were either in their dormitories or at the library. But I did notice Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, two of James's best friends, sitting on the sofa and playing a game of Exploding Snap. "What were you thinking about?"
"Oh, nothing." I said, lying through my teeth. Just then, the portrait hole opened, and in came James and Sirius, laughing. James was carrying his broom, and his hair was more windswept than ever. Not that I noticed it, or anything.
"Hey Lily, Foster," he said, and he and Sirius went over to join the other two Marauders. I felt my heart skip a beat when he addressed me.
You have got to be kidding me. Stupid bloody hormones. I watched James greet his friends, and I noticed some of the quirkiest things. The way his hair stuck up mainly in the back, the fact that his cheeks were flushed from the recent exercise, how he was trying to help Peter win the game only to laugh when he failed miserably. All of these little things made my heart skip another few beats.
"Lily? Hellllo?" Liss waved her hand in front of my face again, and I shook my head, trying to clear it from these weird thoughts.
"Right. What were we talking about?" I said, laughing nervously. Liss arched and eyebrow and without a word, she grabbed my arm and dragged me upstairs to the Girl's Dormitory.
-X-X-X-
"Well, it's about damn time." Sabrina Craven, my other best friend beside Liss, said when Liss had explained what had happened in the common room. I didn't see it as anything important, but it was very clear that my two friends had. Sabz looked at me and smiled. "Congratulations. You finally figured out you fancy James Potter."
Wait. What?
"I do not fancy him!" I said vehemently. "You're insane Rina! I could never…!"
"But you do." Liss interrupted. "You like him. Admit it Lily. You were staring at him earlier, and last time I checked, you don't stare at someone you claim to hate."
"I was not staring!" I said, but even I knew it was a lie. "Fine." I said quietly.
"Fine…what?" Liss encouraged.
"I fancy him." I said softly.
"What?" Sabz teased.
"I fancy James Potter." I said in a clear voice, glaring at the two of them. "There, happy? I said it."
"We're thrilled darling, now you just need to tell him." said Liss with a knowing smirk. My eyes widened in shock.
"Are you kidding me? I could never tell him! Never, never, never, never!" I stomped my feet like a little kid throwing a tantrum when I said that.
"Lily, stop whining." Sabz chastised. "What's the worst that could happen?"
"Oh, I don't know Sabz, maybe total humiliation? James hasn't asked me out for months and we just wouldn't work together. I'm Lily Evans and he's James Potter, we're complete opposites.
"Opposites attract," Liss sang. I glared at her. "Oh, look, it's snowing!" she said excitedly, and both Sabz and I looked to see it was indeed snowing, and then I remembered that it had been snowing this morning, and how disgusted I'd been by it. I felt that same disgust now, with both the snow and myself. How could I have let myself fall for James ruddy Potter? I mean, come on, I hated, hated the bloke for five years, if not longer, and all of the sudden I fall for him, just like that? I don't believe I could be that stupid.
Though, as Liss would say, you can't analyze love.
Wait. Love? Did I seriously just…? No. No way. I don't love James Potter! No! Fancying someone and loving them are two totally different things. Fancying them is feeling attraction or finding something nice to look at. Loving someone…blimey, I don't even know how to define that.
"Lils?" Sabz snapped me out of my trance this time. "Thinking about James again?"
I nodded dumbly, and then thought about what she'd said, and shook my head rapidly.
"Of course not, no! I-I'm not thinking about-!" Sabz slapped her hand over my mouth, and I scowled, biting her finger. She winced, but didn't pull her hand away, like I'd hoped she would.
"If you're not thinking about James," she said. "Then think about this. What does love really mean to you?"
It's kind of scary how she can read minds like that.
-X-X-X-
That night, I lay in my bed, frustrated because I'm in that stage of sleep where you aren't really awake, but you aren't asleep either, and my body just won't let me relax and sleep properly. I've been like this for about two hours now, and it's driving me to near insanity.
I've been in this insomniatic state because of what Sabz said to me earlier. What does love really mean to me? What does it mean in general? Well, duh, I'm not a total idiot, the definition of love is total and complete devotion and enamoration for someone, feeling as though you have to protect them, care for them, and bloody love them for the rest of your days.
But is that how I define love? I have no idea how to answer that, other then in technical terms. I wish I could say otherwise, but I really can't, and that is both depressing and pathetic. Ugh. Stupid brain. Why won't you just let me sleep?
I know the answer to that. I won't sleep until I stop obsessing over this, and I won't stop obsessing until I have an answer.
Damn my perfectionist tendencies.
-X-X-X-
After another hour of tossing and turning in my bed, I grabbed my cloak and went down to the Head Common Room to see a fire lit, and burning brightly. I saw the shadow of James Potter's head, and the light reflecting off of his glasses, and I want to run back upstairs and pretend I never saw him. But something compels my feet to stay glued to the floor, and I stare at him again, not really realizing it, but not wanting to look away.
He looks tired, and he looks like there's something weighing on his shoulders, like there is on mine. He also seems to be deep in thought; by the way he's watching the flames flicker and dance in their merry way.
"Lily," he says suddenly, and I stiffen. "I know you're there." he turns to me and beckons me over, a small smile on his face. My feet somehow unglue themselves from the floor and walk over to him. I sit down next to him, but not too close, because sitting too close will make me lose whatever semblance of sanity I have left. "Can't sleep either?"
"No," I mutter bitterly. And it's his ruddy fault. Damn it.
It's not like I fell for him at complete random, I mean, there has to be a reason for it, but what is it? Other then the fact that he's completely changed and is downright fanciable now, yes, I made up a word, get used to it, there's nothing really to like about him. Right?
…Oh who am I kidding? There's everything to like about him, and it's downright infuriating. How can someone be so perfect, but so flawed at the same time? It's not fair I tell you. Not fair at all.
"Sickle for your thoughts," he said, breaking me from my third James induced trance of the day. Bloody hell, if this bloke knew what he did to me…
"They're not important." I say, trying to hide just how much they really meant.
"If they're keeping you up at 2:30 in the morning, then apparently they are." he said, giving me a sideways grin. My heart jumped to the base of my throat. "Come on Lily, it can't be that bad."
"Oh trust me, it is." I said darkly, and he chuckled, leaning his head back. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "You're tired. You should go to sleep."
"So should you." he pointed out. I glared at him.
"Didn't I tell you I can't?"
"Yes, you did mention that. Are you going to tell me why?"
"Nope." he gave me another one of those smiles. My heart continued to climb up my throat.
He suddenly took my hand in his, sending a white hot feeling of pleasure up my arm and down my spine. Goosebumps erupted on my skin, and thank Merlin for cloaks or he would have seen those dastardly little devils.
"Why not?" he asked, turning his head to face me.
"It's not important." I repeated. "I really should leave. I have an essay to write, and since I can't sleep, I might as well-" I got up to leave, but James's firm grip on my hand kept me seated. I stared at his hand on top of mine. It made my stomach do flip flops. "Can I, er, have my hand back?"
He grinned.
"Nope." he said. I glared at him.
"Don't make me hex you into your next life Potter," I growled. He smiled again.
"You'd miss me."
"Would not."
"Would too."
"Would not."
"Would too."
"Would not."
"Would too."
"Are you willing to bet your life on it?"
"Yes."
His firm answer rocked me, though I tried not to let it show. His hazel eyes locked with my emerald ones. Why in the name of all that is high and mighty did James Potter have to have such pretty eyes? They're a creamy hazel, the kind you'd see on a hazelnut, with specks of gold and green in them. My stomach flipped around again.
"Fine. I'll tell you." I relented. He smiled in triumph. I waited a few minutes, considering how to word my sentence. "How do you define love?"
My question clearly took him by surprise, but once he thought about it, his eyes never left mine as he said,
"I define love as the desire to protect and care someone for the rest of your days, and be with them forever. I define it as unconditional, and never ending. I define it as knowing that person completely, inside and out. I define it as the will to die for that person, as long as they get the chance to live."
I don't know what came over me in those few moments as he described his definition of love, but clearly the insomnia was getting to me because I, Lily Evans, kissed James Potter.
It wasn't a long kiss, but it was enough to cement my already clear feelings for him.
"My definition of love?" I said with a small smile. "Is you. I love you James."
His smile broadened, and he kissed me. He pulled back and then leaned over to whisper in my ear.
"Defining love? Easiest thing ever. I love you too, Lily."
I smiled and hugged him. Then he kissed me again.
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A/N: Well, wasn't that just the whipped cream on your Thanksgiving pumpkin pie? It was for me. I had lots of fun writing it, and I hope you enjoyed reading it.
Please review!
~Charmed