Eric T Cartman loved one person, he loved him more than anything, his Chocolate colored eyes watched the blond haired boy from a far, his eyes showing fire and hate yet he found it so damn confusing, they had been friends for as long as he could remember, he called the boy butters, he watched as Butters gave a fake laugh to the other dirty blond giving fake smile to the one he was dating named Kenny, it was all fake Eric had known Butters long enough to see though the act no matter how good he was, they were best friends in way but that was a long time ago . Now when butters saw him he wouldn't get a smile or even a fake one he would get a pair of blue eyes filled with yearning mixed with hurt and the blond would go on his way going back to Kenny. Why did he do it? Maybe to him nothing happened, he had turned the tall Brunette down so many times , Although it's hard for Eric to accept that because of the way Butters looks at him every time they meet eye contact and this gives Eric Hope. That maybe he loves him back.
"I know the cryptic way, he hides it, I see how he fakes his affection, I've tried to understand everything but I guess I'm just a hopeful fool"
Butters eyes are full with tears as Eric held his hand, Butters pulls it away fast "no means no!" Butters answer had never change; it hurt Eric, did it mean nothing? The kiss, the way he smiled at him it means nothing.
Eric growled and glared at butters, no! he told himself it did mean something when Eric had kissed Butters for the first time, it was great no, it was fucking fanatic but butters told him he wasn't ready But Eric knew that Butters felt the same feeling, He even told him he wanted to do greater things with him, and Butters had melted at the words, Eric would do anything for Butters. He wanted it to be true because he had given Eric something that no one had ever given him, LOVE and Eric was only shut down as Butters returned to those dark, meaning less words ' it was the heat of the moment , it didn't mean anything'.
Kyle had told him that's its pointless, Eric could never find love in someone who didn't love him back; it's worthless but when Eric see's something he wants he takes it, he wants butters even if he has to take in the sadness of it all. Eric Heard the saying 'love conquers all' and he believes in that saying everyday no matter how gay it may sound. There's no denying that the times he spent with Butters are the happiest moments of his life, and now he's fallen in love with him, they've increased tenfold.
'To him I'm nothing, we weren't anything Just a basic test an Experiment I know it's pointless, I know it's worthless But I won't give up I won't surrender'
"Butters, why?" Eric says to him one day when they meet for lunch in the courtyard of South park High, "why did you choose that poor asshole when you don't have any feelings for him" He asked as his voice cracked. Butters looked away "yo-you don't know that Eric" Butters spoke softly and He watched as Butters started to walk away from Eric, not wanting to see or fight with Eric.
That was it; Eric couldn't take it anymore "I won't let him steal you away from me! Faggot!" Eric spoke loud enough so making a shy butters stop in his tracks. He faced Eric , marching straight up and look him right in the eye , due to the fact that Eric was Taller He had to look up at him dead in eye with new tears forming " I –I like to see you try!" He yelled just as loud, trying to sound brave.
For a second Butters that was it, obviously it wasn't because right then and there, in the Broad day light, Eric had kissed Butters holding him close again. Though, it was so Eric wouldn't lose and this wasn't the kiss he wanted. This was the kiss Butters wanted Eric to Have. His lips harshly pushed against mine as he sunk his dirty nails into his lower back making the small frame butters gasp in agony and push him away, But Eric wouldn't have that; he was hungry for more and wouldn't let him. He sucked everything he could out of him – his Strength, hope and love. Butters finally pushed him away and Left Eric Standing there soon after feeling empty but he convinced himself that if he could save butters, he would do it a thousand times until Butters felt right again. Eric couldn't let butters lie to himself about who he loved. He wouldn't If he could safe Butters then maybe just maybe Butters was see the truth, but maybe he was just another hopeless fool
'I won't let him steal you from me, I'll save you and then you will love me, I won't let you do this to yourself, I'll save you; we're perfect together'
The two lay against the wall, skipping class; Butters was in another world as he grew older so did his mind and body, Eric finally stood in front of him "butters, can we talk?" Butters looked at Eric with his Baby blue eyes " sure Eric" Butters blinked at the tall football player, Eric blushed hard choosing his words carefully " I-I lo-" Butters cut him off " E-Eric we talked about this" Butters spoke in a sad voice turning away from his friend " but why? Can't you at least give me a chance! Just fucking listen to me! Please!" Eric begged him grabbing his chin and forcing the small Blond to look up at him, Butters held sadness in his eyes " I do listen to you but-but I don't want to get hurt by you" Butters told him , and broke away from Eric leaving him without showing him his tears as he left. Eric felt like mirror that had just been broken.
' I don't get why he's not listening , I am fighting an abandoned war; I tried to show him the way I feel but I guess I'm just hopeless fool '
Even after all they been through he still agrees to be with Eric as friends and though it starts to hurt after a while Eric still thinks Butters loves him and he knows that, butters just didn't want to get hurt; so he plays along, Butters will start to see though that Eric is not going anywhere And soon enough he will break his Ties with Kenny and Accept it. Eric knows for certain because they were always beside each other, even as Kids. They will grow old together, forever till the end of the world if you must
And Eric wouldn't always say these things not out loud but to butters it would be worth it
"I love you"
"I yearn for you "
Because Butters is Eric's Sanctuary and also a blissful cage that he'll let him snare himself in. Eric will never forget the kindness and love Butters has shown him. Eric will never forget him… or his eyes that light up when he gazes up at the stares like a small child, never forget the way they kissed, the way Butters looked at him and He won't forget Butters loved …no, loves Eric.
"You will see, it will finally be just you and me Till the end of the world; I want you, I deeply need you, I won't forget you, you're my sanctuary!"
Butters, I will save you; then you will love me
