Hi there!
I'm not all that happy with this oneshot but oh well.
If you're here for the smut, you gotta scroll to the end.
Enjoy!
There was a man who caught my bus in the morning. He used to get on before me, get off after. I didn't know where he came from or where he goes but every day, I was next to him.
Our bus was crowded, fifty or so people packed into a small area just well enough so that everyone was seated. Rarely do 'outsiders' catch it so everyone had their own seat.
The man I sat next to looked to be in his early thirties. He wears a plain black suit and always has the morning paper in his hands. The bus rides are usually quiet, save for the occasional whisperings between passengers and the dull drone of the bus engine.
My name is Eren Jaeger, I am twenty-eight and this is the story of my first love.
I've been going on this route for five years now, from my home to the city where my office is. Before I took this bus, rides seemed to be an endless blur of unfamiliar faces and awkward silences. Now, they seem to be more of a relaxation, before and after a busy day.
When the doors of the T825 open and close, they shut out the restless energy of the city and welcome you with peace and quiet for the twenty minutes or so you ride. It's odd to be attached to a hunk of metal with an engine but I guess I am.
It was about a year ago when I first spoke to the man next to me. It was a funny story actually, our bus had taken quite a sharp turn and I ended up sprawled over his lap.
I know, awkward right?
He picked me up off his lap and I returned to my previous seat.
"Thank you Mr…?" I questioned nervously.
"Levi." He answered.
"I'm Eren." I introduced, extending my hand.
He shook it, nodded at me and turned away.
From that day onwards, I greeted him in the mornings with a smile and a "Hello Levi" to which he would give a nod.
Usually, I have my music plugged in and my phone in my hands. I remember the day I offered Levi to share music. He fixed with me a glare that froze my insides. I assumed he didn't want to but after a while, he said, "Pass here brat."
I asked him what he liked and he said anything would be all right. We listened to everything ranging from classical piano to pop music to country to rock. I figured out what he liked from the tapping of his fingers to quiet guitar music and soft rock.
And so this is how our mornings were spent, listening to Secondhand Serenade and trying not to fall asleep. Sometimes, we would have short, hushed conversations about things on the road.
I feel like sharing music is one of the deepest connections two people can make. Call me stupid but its true. Hearing the same harmonies, notes and words, knowing that the other person hears them too is a special kind of feeling.
The best mornings are the rainy ones, spent listening to soft piano music and hearing the water beat down on the bus roof. I sit closer to Levi on these days and I like to imagine that he leans closer to me.
I remember one time it started raining halfway through the bus ride and I, being the stupid idiot I am, forgot to bring an umbrella. We were nearing my stop when Levi tapped me lightly on my arm.
"You don't have an umbrella do you?" He asked.
I shook my head sheepishly in reply.
He pulled one out from his briefcase. "Here take this, I don't need it.
I was mildly horrified at the idea of him being soaking wet because of me and embarrassed that he knew I was an idiot.
"I really don't need it, my stop is close to where I work."
I took it, feeling my face heat up.
"Thank you."
I tried to return it to him the next day but he shot me a glare and told me to keep it.
He was a handsome man. He always had an aura of neatness surrounding him. Some days when we sit close, I can smell the faint aroma of coffee and soap. His hair is split neatly down the middle, ending in an undercut at the top of his neck and not a single strand is out of place.
He usually has an annoyed expression on but I know that's…well, just his face. At first, he scared me a little bit but as time passed, I grew more comfortable with him and I know, he grew more comfortable with me.
Sometimes, I feel ashamed of my messy appearance. I like to wear big shirts, often with mustard stains and other unidentifiable liquids on them and faded jeans, my hair is more of a bird's nest than anything and I'm pretty sure I don't smell amazing.
I often find myself wondering about his family. Does he have a girlfriend? A wife maybe? What about children?
For some reason, I can't imagine stern faced Levi juggling a bubbly baby boy in his hands. Nor can I imagine him holding a woman in his arms.
About a year ago, we started to talk quietly about our lives. I found out that he works in a marketing office in the city, one stop after mine. He lives alone in an apartment and is an insomniac.
I told him about my family, how I lived with my sister and worked at the graphic design office on the road up from his.
We chatted about many things, from favorite animals to opinions on politics to family issues to favorite restaurants and soon, these morning bus rides became the highlight of my days.
Everyday, It seems I find out something new about Levi. Whether it be something small like how he absolutely loves white chocolate or something major like being told he was orphaned as a child, I was always learning about him.
Some mornings, when the light was angled just right, Levi looked like an angel. An angel with a huge ass scowl on his face but an angel nonetheless. The warm orange glow of the rising sun lit his face in a special way and on these days, it seemed I could see every color in his beautiful eyes.
Before I knew it, I was falling in love with a stranger.
I heard somewhere that falling in love was like falling asleep, slowly at first then all at once.
Up until I realized that I really was in love with this man, It was a very slow process, I enjoyed his company and looked forward to our rides. However, after I came to the stunning realization that I did indeed fall in love with a stranger, I felt like I needed his company like I needed the air I breathe, that our bus rides were far too short and the days were far too long.
Soon, his presence lingered on my mind all hours of the day and night. He became my first thought in the morning, my last thought at night and every one between. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about him, agonizing over wanting to ask for more, maybe his number but I terrified of rejection.
Turns out, I was worrying for nothing. One day, we were listening to Count on Me by Bruno Mars when he gently elbowed me in the side.
"Give me your phone."
It sounded more like an order rather than a request but I gave it to him anyways. I watched him set his number in and text his phone.
I shot him a questioning look.
"So I can talk to you during breaks dumbass, office jobs are quite boring and the only excitement around there is when the printer breaks down."
I could only grin.
Some days I contemplated telling him I was so stupidly in love with him but I knew if he rejected me, I would be heartbroken beyond salvation. That probably wasn't true but that's what it felt like. He was precious to me in a way that I couldn't describe.
I was happy to be friends with him.
It was enough to be friends with him.
I won't press.
Until one day, he wasn't in his usual seat.
I thought I had gotten on the wrong bus until I looked around and saw familiar faces staring at me and out the windows.
I sat at our seat and stared blankly out at the houses and cars that flew by. Twenty minutes seemed to drag closer to an hour today without Levi here and I wanted to text him but I didn't want to seem needy or clingy.
So I waited.
The next day he wasn't there either.
I waited again.
Come Wednesday, he wasn't there.
I couldn't wait anymore.
I pulled out my phone and dialed the number I had grown to remember of by heart. I heard the dial-tone, the slow ringing in my ears and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
"Eren?"
His voice sounded dry and husky but I couldn't tell if it was actually him or the phone.
"Levi" I breathed in relief. "Where were you?"
I was met with silence and I felt panic starting to wash over me. What if I was annoying him? He didn't owe me anything and I was just about to apologize for being nosy when he cut me off.
"I got hit by a truck on Sunday afternoon."
"I'm sorry what?"
"I'm not repeating it brat." He said.
"Wait, wait you got hit by a truck?"
I received an annoyed huff in reply.
"What? How? Why? Oh my god are you okay? Where are you?"
"I'm on the top of the fucking Eiffel tower where do you think I am?" Levi said, sounding annoyed.
"You're okay though right? Anything broken or…" I trailed off, not wanting to think about more serious consequences.
I heard him heave another sigh.
"Just a few things. I'm fine."
I had to see him. I just had to.
"Which hospital are you in? What room?" I asked.
"You idiot, don't you have work?"
"I can skip"
I heard some shuffling and then a pained groan.
"Levi..?"
"Shut up, I had to turn to see the damn number on the door. I'm on George Street, room 37, ward A" He said.
"Okay I'll see you in a bit."
I hung up, heart racing.
You never really know how much you need someone until they're gone. Levi wasn't exactly gone but he got pretty damn close. I didn't understand why the idea of him getting hit by a truck made me so agitated. I kept imagining his small form flying through the air and I got more and more panicked.
I got off the bus a few stops early and ran to the hospital.
There was a pretty blonde girl behind the reception desk and I told her I needed to see Levi.
"Last name?" She asked.
"Um… I don't actually know…"
She shrugged. "That's okay, do you know which room he's in?"
"I think 37, Ward A"
"Okay ill put you down as a visitor, just go up these stairs and turn left. He should be in the room at the end." She said with a smile.
I nodded my thanks and ran up the stairs, the heavy sound of my feet hitting the ground was satisfying.
I saw the room the receptionist had pointed me to. I pulled the door open and stepped inside.
The room wasn't large, it held two beds, one of which was empty and the other was half hidden behind a curtain. I could hear soft voices coming from it.
"L-Levi?" I called out nervously.
"In here."
I pulled the blue curtain to the side and sure enough, Levi lay under some white sheets. There was a blonde man sitting in a seat across from him who stood up and nodded at him before leaving.
The room was quiet after that, I didn't know what to say and it seemed that Levi didn't either. So I sat down on a chair next to his bed.
"Music?" I offered, pulling out my phone.
He gave me a strange look but made a noise of approval. I plugged the earplugs in and handed him one. He winced as he reached out for it but put it in his ear anyways.
The Bad and the Beautiful by Senpai was playing. Levi lay back and breathed a sigh.
"You know, this song reminds me of my parents. I was raised in France you know."
I didn't say anything, I just listened to him talk. I love his voice. Oh god I really love his voice.
Sometimes he would pause and swallow as if it pained him to talk. I considered telling him to stop if it hurt but I guess I wanted to be selfish. This was the first time I heard him say more than three sentences in a row.
Now that I think about it, it was probably the fact that he was drugged up on morphine that he was so open about his life. He told me about how his mother had him at 17 and his father left soon after and how his mum died when he was two so he had to live in an orphanage then on the streets of Paris for a long time.
He stowed away on a cargo ship headed for New York when he was 10 and was found by a retired police officer who took him in. The blond man from earlier was the police officers son "Erwin" who was basically his brother.
It hit me then and there that I didn't know anything about Levi. I mean, I knew that he liked his coffee without milk and that he hated having to go and get the mail but I didn't know anything that meant anything.
And as I sat there, staring at the man I fell completely and utterly in love with, I began to feel a very deep sense of loss and regret. Regret that I didn't meet him earlier and loss at the fact that there was so much I didn't know.
Before I knew it, I had tears in my eyes and my hands clenched tightly around the armrest.
"Eren?" He asked.
I lifted up my head.
"Are you crying?"
Raising the back of my hand, I brushed it over my eyes and saw that it came back wet.
"I guess I am."
He raised a delicate eyebrow. "You were that moved by how I stole a roll of toilet paper from the mall?"
I laughed. It was a satisfying feeling, seeing genuine confusion etched onto Levi's normally emotionless face.
"Nah, I just want to know so much about you but we're just strangers aren't we."
He turned his head slightly towards me. "Do you think we're just strangers?"
I really didn't know what to say so I just shook my head.
We sat in silence after that, enjoying the music in our ears. I don't know how long I sat there but I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, a nurse was shaking my shoulder.
"Sir, visiting hours are over and I must ask you to vacate the premises."
I stood up and rubbed my eyes sleepily. My phone had fallen to the floor and as I reached down to pick it up, Levi's hand shot out from under his blanket.
"Come… visit me tomorrow okay?" He whispered.
I nodded and shot him a smile. "Of course!"
He seemed pleased as he sighed and leaned into his pillow. I gave his hand a pat and left the room.
Earlier
"Erwin what am I going to do?" Levi asked with a sigh.
"Do?"
"About the brat. He's coming over here now."
"Well, you like him don't you?" Erwin said. "Just tell him, It will be okay."
"But that's the thing. I don't even know him. I just met him on the fucking bus, its not like we're close or anything. He just has nice eyes… And a nice smile… And freakishly long fingers."
Erwin chuckled. "Levi, are you hearing yourself? If you like him then you should really tell him. Opportunities don't last forever."
Levi sighed and closed his eye. "I know Erwin… I know."
I woke up early the next day to visit him before I had to go to work. I sat with him for twenty minutes in silence before leaving.
I visited him the day after that.
And the day after that.
And the day after that.
And the day after that.
And every day after that until he was out of hospital and then he let me visit him at his home.
His house was pristine, like someone had decided to go all Optimus Prime on a washing machine and set it loose on the inside. Even after he had left it for a month, it looked cleaner than my apartment had ever been.
"Hey Eren." Levi had said one morning.
"When do you get off work?" He asked.
I replied with "Around four, why?"
He seemed to be mulling over something for a while. "Do you.. do you mind coming over… some days to help?"
"Help…?"
He made an annoyed sound. "I can't exactly do anything more than lifting a cup to my head so I'm asking if you can come and bring me food and whatnot."
I was surprised, it was unlike Levi to ask for help and I was overwhelmed by the happiness that hit me in the chest.
"Yes! Yes yes yes!"
"I didn't ask you to marry me damn brat, stop looking so happy." He muttered.
So I visited him twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening. He gave me the key to his house so I could let myself in and out without him having to get up.
Sometimes Erwin would be there and the three of us would have dinner together.
It was nice.
Once, after we had dinner, I asked Levi if I could stay awhile and do some work. His house was always warmer than my apartment and the sounds of him turning in bed were much than the empty ticking of the clocks at home.
Soon enough, I ended up spending most of my nights sitting on the green couch next to his bed, doodling designs for work and leeching off his never ending coffee supply. Some nights I lost track of time and he let me sleep in the spare room.
This happened more and more until I had my toothbrush in his bathroom and my laptop permanently plugged into his wall.
A month later, he stopped me in the middle of sketching with something I never thought I'd hear.
"Thank you." He had mumbled quietly.
I looked up from my tablet. "What?"
"I said thank you" He repeated.
"What for?" I asked, confused.
"For taking care of me. I'll be able to do things for myself pretty soon though…" He said.
I felt a cold panic grab at my throat. What would I do? Could I just go back to my cold apartment and pick up where I left off? Would we go back to sitting on the bus in silence?
My thoughts were cut short by a tug on my arm. I looked at him with wide eyes when he pulled hard enough to make me lurch forward.
He moved with a speed that shouldn't have been possible for a man confined to the bed and before I knew it, his lips were on mine.
I suppose this is the part where I say I saw fireworks and angels were singing.
I saw fireworks and angels were singing.
His lips were soft and a little dry but he grabbed at my neck and pulled my hair. My mouth opened in surprise and I felt him slip his tongue in.
Fuck I thought.
It was a strange sensation, feeling the exact moment my restraint ripped apart and threw itself out the window.
I threw him back onto the bed, probably a little rougher than I really should have, and jumped on top of him.
Straddling his thighs, I pulled my shirt over my head and started to unbutton his. With a strange bravery I never knew I had, I started to suck on his neck. I left a trail of purpling marks on his pale skin as his moans filled the room with a beautiful sound.
More.
I needed to hear more.
I reached down and slipped my hand past the waistband of his boxers. I grabbed his member, feeling it throb in my hand. It was hot.
I gave it a long stroke and felt him arching up into me.
"Ah…." He breathed as I tugged on his hard cock.
I played with him a little more, thoroughly enjoying the delicious sounds he was making.
"Levi…" I whispered looking up at him. He had a red flush dusting his cheeks and a hand over his eyes.
I pulled it down and kissed him hard, letting my hand slip out from his boxers and roam his body.
I moved down his body and pulled his boxers off. His dick was standing straight up and dribbling precome onto his stomach.
I'd never done that but I saw it enough in Mikasa's yaoi magazines to know what happens. I took it in my mouth. His member was pretty big and what I couldn't fit, I pumped in my hands.
"Ahhhh Eren…." He moaned, reaching down and grabbing the back of my head.
As I sucked, I felt his hips stutter upwards and his slender legs quiver.
"Ereeeen. Ah! Eren p-please"
Spurred on by his moans, I sucked harder, trying to take him deeper. I looked up at him and met his lust filled, half lidded eyes.
"Hnng...Eren-" I felt his fingers tighten in my hair before he pushed my head down.
Warm liquid filled my mouth. I tried to swallow it all but some leaked out when I pulled off of him.
He was panting, face red and hair plastered to his forehead.
"Eren…" He started.
I thought he was going to say something sappy but Levi was Levi and all I got was "Wipe that off your face, it's disgusting."
I laughed.
"I just sucked your dick and you think this is gross?"
He looked away. "Just do it brat…"
I wiped it with my hand and licked it off my fingers, watching him watch me.
"Fuck" he breathed, reaching his arms up for me.
I leaned down and his arms wrapped around my shoulders.
"You know… I think... I really like you." He mumbled.
I buried my face into the crook of his neck. "I really like you too Levi."
A month later, I moved all my things into his house and ended my apartment lease.
We took the morning bus together as usual but this time, his hand was in mine instead of holding the morning paper and the usual "good morning" head nods had become "good morning" kisses.
There was indeed a man who caught my bus in the mornings. He sits next to me and I, Eren Jaeger, aged twenty-eight, am in love with him.