Title: Paradiso
Author: Jennifer N (jennifer_n97@hotmail.com)
Summary: "You never thought you'd be someone's hero . . . until you met Sydney. It was always different with Sydney." Irina remembers.
Categories: Angst/Drama
Spoilers: through 3.04, "A Missing Link"
Rating: PG-13
Distribution: CM, SD-1, ff.net
Disclaimer: These characters aren't mine, obviously. Some dialogue/text is borrowed from episodes 1.01, "Truth Be Told," and 3.02, "Succession." Also not mine.
A/N: This is a companion piece to "Purgatory." Apparently Irina got jealous and wanted the chance to tell the story from her point of view . . .
For Steph, Becky, and Ciara32, who put up with me. They are true saints. (Although two of them *coughStephandBeckycough* can also be true devils . . .)
Paradiso
She wasn't supposed to be born.
You were supposed to seduce Bristow, earn his trust, sell his secrets. A master met his mistress in the dueling games of love and country.
You just never expected to truly love him.
So when the pregnancy test came back positive, you looked at it with a mixture of shock and horror as your left hand held the stick and your right instinctively protected your stomach. You knew what this meant, what your handler would say.
Termination.
Immediately.
But the idea of destroying this life that the two of you had created made you recoil, causing you to lose the contents of your stomach for the second time that morning. You immediately decided that you would buy this child as much time as you could. You would kiss Jack goodbye the next day as he left for three weeks to a remote corner of the world without saying a word. You would welcome him back home with open arms, still keeping your secret to yourself.
You would wait until you were at least eight weeks along before thinking of going to a doctor.
You would convince Jack that the two of you should keep your pregnancy a secret for a few weeks, out of a supposed fear that you would miscarry. He thought you feared the office gossip, the comments his colleagues and their wives might bestow upon you about six months of morning sickness and forty-eight hours of childbirth.
You were just hoping your handler wouldn't overhear any conversations at the office.
When you finally told your superiors, they were incensed at your duplicity. You foolishly thought you had convinced them that a child would cement your position in Agent Bristow's life, that you would be allowed to add a new role to your growing list of titles. Agent. Wife. Assassin.
Mother.
A car accident at twenty-seven weeks told you otherwise. Reminded you that the KGB always got their way.
Well, almost always.
They just never expected you to fight so valiantly to save her.
*****
She was never supposed to leave the hospital alive.
You felt a panic course through your veins that you had never felt before when you realized that the contractions this time were the real thing. You were only thirty-five weeks along, it was too soon, what if she didn't make it—you were so grateful Jack was home with you that evening. Without him, you fear that you would have delivered her on your kitchen floor.
For a preemie, she was remarkably normal—average weight, strong vitals, excellent lungs. You watched them carry your angel out of the room and blissfully allowed the drugs to seep into you as you slipped off into a dreamless sleep for a few hours.
When you woke, Jack was at your side, a large bouquet of flowers—daisies, your favorite—was on the small table, and your daughter lay tucked under a pink blanket in her bassinet. You groggily opened your mouth to question him, but stopped when you saw the look in his eyes.
You knew that look, had seen it before when Jack would enter the house before letting you follow, sweeping for invisible intruders. When he would drive to the university to walk you from your last class on Tuesday nights to your office across campus and finally to your car. When he would monitor your salt intake because the doctor feared for your health in your third trimester.
Jack was always protective of you. It was quite possibly the best indicator of his love that you had. And now it seemed that not only did he have someone else to protect, there was a valid reason to protect her.
The KGB thought they could get to Sydney after she left the safety of your womb.
They didn't expect Jack to fight so valiantly to save her too.
tbc