Title: When Ianto Jones Was Rubbish at Making Coffee
Author: alba17
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing/characters: Ianto/OMC, references to past Jack/Ianto
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Torchwood belongs to the BBC not me.
Prompt: Ianto slept with Jack but didn't consider himself gay. During Jack's absence with the Doctor, he notices men checking him out and considers his own responses.
Summary: When Jack is gone, Ianto does some exploring and learns some things about himself.
Author's Notes: A thousand thanks for brilliant last-minute beta'ing by dvanulya, thrace_adams, and 51stcenturyfox.
It all started with a half caff nonfat no whip caramel moccachino.
He was on his way back to the Hub with coffee for the crew when he realized the barista hadn't added caramel syrup to Gwen's drink. He could tell by the smell, or lack thereof. Sighing, he headed back to the cafe, head hunched against the drizzly weather.
When he got there, the original barista had gone on break.
"Hey, what'll you have?" A new barista asked, looking quizzically at the tray of drinks Ianto was carrying. This guy was in his 20's, attractive, with dark hair curling over his ears and a faint shadow of stubble. The other barista had looked rather like a troll. Ianto explained that Gwen's drink had been made incorrectly and he needed a replacement.
"Sorry about that. No problem," the barista said, flashing an apologetic grin at Ianto.
Ianto watched carefully to make sure he made the drink properly. If he'd been his normal self, he would have caught the mistake earlier. But he wasn't his normal self. That was why he was buying these drinks in the first place, rather than making them himself back at the Hub. He simply hadn't been able to make coffee since Jack had left. Every time he approached the coffee maker, his hands would start shaking, and his heart would pound like a jackhammer. He just couldn't do it. It was driving him crazy.
He vicariously enjoyed the process as he watched the barista's elegant hands briskly maneuvering the espresso machine, tamping down the coffee grounds, and deftly foaming the milk. He noticed the barista wore a striking silver ring with a large blue stone. The other man gave him a small smile as he put the drink on the counter.
"Here you go. Hope it meets your standards."
Had he been that obvious? Ianto nodded his approval and made his mouth curve up at the ends in what he hoped was a simulation of a normal smile. "I'm sure it's fine."
"I'll throw in a package of chocolate covered espresso beans as an apology."
No way this bloke could know they were one of Ianto's favorites. Ianto left the cafe with the hint of a genuine smile teasing at his lips.
The next time he went in, the dark-haired barista remembered his order.
"Half caff nonfat no whip caramel moccachino, large black coffee, medium vanilla latte, and a double espresso, right?" he said with a quirk of smile.
Ianto did his imitation of a smile again, and said, "Right. You've got a good memory."
"That's my job," the barista said.
"Hmm, mine too," Ianto noted. "Came in handy at uni too." He fingered the spare retcon in his pocket, always at the ready. He imagined placing the tablet on his tongue, lifting a drink to wash it down, and waking up in the sweet oblivion of ignorance. Never seeing Jack again. No...not yet.
The barista was putting the drinks in a cardboard carrying tray.
"I'll bet the double espresso is for you, am I right?" This time his smile showed a glint of white between surprisingly red lips.
Ianto snorted. "How'd you know?"
"Again, it's my job. After a while in this job, you can predict what kind of coffee people drink. Plus, you seem like a guy who appreciates good coffee."
"Oh, I am," Ianto sighed, thinking wistfully about his dusty coffee maker at the Hub.
"Well, enjoy. Tell me what you think the next time you're in," the barista said.
"Yeah, next time."
The next two days were taken up with corralling a number of pink alien jellyfish that had fallen in Bute Park, taken a liking to junk food and were stealing lunches from people eating on the benches. All quite messy and time-consuming, involving many trips to McDonald's and a special chemical solution devised by Tosh and Owen to trap the aliens without destroying them. (Tosh was the subject of much derision when her secret addiction to Cadbury Creme Egg McFlurries became apparent.) So it was Friday before Ianto got back to the cafe. He was so ready for some good coffee. As soon as he walked in the door, the dark-haired barista began preparing his order. Ianto approached the counter.
"What'd you think of the espresso?" the barista asked, eyebrows raised expectantly.
Ianto hesitated. "Well, you may have brewed it too quickly. It was kind of thin." He hated criticising someone he didn't know, but there were standards to uphold. He offered a small smile in apology.
The other man cringed. "Oooh, you're killing me here. Let me try again. On the house." He sweetened his pleading with a charming little grin.
"Oh sure, that'd be great. Thanks." Ianto was pleased. Free espresso. Hopefully it would be better this time. "So, what happened to the other guy? I never see him any more," Ianto asked, referring to the troll-like barista, as he leaned against the counter, one hand in his pocket.
"Umm, well, we switched shifts." The dark-haired barista looked down quickly, completely absorbed in his drink-making.
"Oh." Just as well. Dark-Haired Barista was cute and totally not troll-like. His hair looked like it would feel really nice, thick and curly. He had a small silver hoop earring that contrasted attractively with his hair. His black jeans fit nicely as well, Ianto thought, as he leaned forward over the counter just a fraction.
Cute? Where'd that thought come from? Since when did Ianto think of men as cute? Lisa was "cute." Tosh was "cute." And why was he thinking about what his hair would feel like?
"Coz I noticed you've been coming in at this same time for a couple of weeks," the barista said, looking coquettishly up at Ianto from under his eyelashes. Ianto noticed how lush and dark they were, beautifully setting off his green-blue eyes.
"Oh." Ianto could feel his cheeks flushing. Bugger. "Yeah."
"Do you work around here?"
"Ummm, yeah, the tourist office off the Plass."
"Did you just start there? Because I haven't seen you in here before the last couple of weeks, and I think I'd remember you." As he smiled, his eyes crinkled just a bit at the corners, giving them an adorable twinkle.
Ianto suddenly had a funny melting feeling in the pit of his stomach.
"No, I've been there a while, it's just...our coffee maker's broken. Actually, I better get back there with these drinks." He wasn't sure what was going on here, but he knew he needed to retreat and regroup.
"Oh, sure, sorry. Well, see you next time."
Ianto gave a tight little smile. "Yep." He turned to go and was just about to the door, when the barista called to him.
"Hey, what's your name?"
"Ianto."
"Oh, Welsh parents, too." There was that big grin again. "I'm Alun. See you next time," he said, winking. As he went out the door, Ianto thought, did he really just wink at me? Well, this was turning out to be an interesting day.
As he made his back to the Hub, trying to balance the tray of drinks so it didn't tip over, he tried to assess what exactly was going on with Dark-Haired Barista. Alun. He'd always liked that name. One of his best friends growing up was named Alun. He imagined running his hands through Barista Alun's curly black hair, resting a hand at the nape of his neck, pulling him closer so he could...
"Stop! What are you doing?" A man in a navy suit pulled his arm, giving him a puzzled look, and he realized he was about to step into the street right in the path of an oncoming car. Ianto stepped back onto the sidewalk as quickly as he could holding a tray of hot drinks. Oh Christ. He blew out a gust of air. What had he been thinking? Better get it together before he got back to work.
The rest of the day was relatively quiet. Each team member went about his or her tasks, quietly puttering around the Hub. Ianto was able to spend a lot of time in the archives, doing some long-needed organizing. This was really his favorite thing to do and he found it quite soothing. As the day progressed, he found himself thinking periodically about Alun. His eyes. His hair. (God, what was it about his hair?) His voice. The smooth movements of his hands as they went about making coffee. The fact that he was a man.
That was kind of a sticking point for Ianto. Because he'd never really thought of himself as gay or as someone who was attracted to men. His first crush had been on Tammy Smithers when he was eleven years old and he'd liked girls ever since. He had several girlfriends as a teenager, with whom he had a few fumbled attempts at sex. None were very serious until he met Lisa in his last year at uni. Lisa was his soulmate. He thought they were going to be together forever, that they'd marry and have babies and that was that. His gut still twisted whenever he thought of her. He tried not to think about what she had become before she died, the nightmare vision of silver metal and blood and dinosaur screeches in the dark.
On the other hand, there were some moments in his life that, in retrospect, held clues. Especially at uni, he'd had a couple of intense friendships with other guys. He'd been in a band for a while, played bass, and he and the lead guitar player had been inseparable. Wherever Sean went, Ianto would be sure to follow, and vice versa. One time they'd been watching telly late at night at Ianto's flat after the band had been hanging out drinking beer. After the others had left, they'd been sitting on the couch, quite close, when Sean put his hand flat on Ianto's thigh, spreading his palm over the faded blue denim. Through the haze of alcohol, Ianto felt like Sean's hand was burning a hole in his jeans. He didn't know what to think. He rather liked it. In fact, it felt like he'd been unconsciously waiting for this moment. But he didn't know what to do about it and wasn't sure he wanted to do anything about it. Before anything else could happen, one of the guys barged back into the flat because he'd forgotten his wallet. Sean quickly removed his hand as soon as they heard the door opening. Neither of them ever said anything about it. Shortly after that, Sean had to leave school because of some problems with his family, and Ianto hadn't seen him since.
Then there was Jack. Jack was a force of nature, for sure. Since the day they'd caught the pteradactyl together, Ianto had been aware that he felt an undeniable attraction for Jack that was obviously reciprocal. While Lisa was still alive, it was something he'd used as a decoy, to distract and disarm Jack so he wouldn't find out about Lisa and kill her. What he hadn't counted on was the strength of his own feelings, or how much fun it was to flirt and play with Jack, never really knowing how far it was going to go. After Lisa was gone, he felt so alone, so desolate. He'd needed something to make him feel alive again, something to make life seem worth living. That something was Jack.
The long-simmering attraction finally became physical, evolving into a sexual affair that surprised Ianto with its passion. While their feelings were left unspoken and the nature of their relationship undefined, the sex was unlike anything he'd ever experienced. They couldn't get enough of each other – they were insatiable. He didn't think too much about the fact that Jack was a man. Jack was, well, just Jack, unique. That smile, that laugh, those 51st century pheromones – when he focused those electric blue eyes on Ianto and cupped his face with those large, warm hands, Ianto felt like he was the most important person in the whole world. After giving up so much to save Lisa, it was a relief to feel like someone was going to take care of him for a change. Not to mention - Jack had a fantastic arse.
Then he died and came back to life. Twice. And disappeared, maybe forever. But not before kissing Ianto fervently in front of the entire Torchwood team and leaving him to face a whole slew of emotions he wasn't prepared for. He missed Jack terribly. He hadn't realized how dependent he'd become on their relationship, on seeing Jack's eyes light up when Ianto came into a room, on his innuendo-laced wisecracks followed by a secret caress in a dark corner. He thought maybe he loved Jack, but he wasn't really sure. If Jack never came back, he'd never find out. And that gave him a hollow, empty feeling he was afraid he'd never get rid of.
And now Alun. Alun brought home the fact that Ianto had undeniably been involved with another man. Alun wasn't a dashing immortal 51st century captain who wore period military outfits and lived in a secret alien hunter base underground. Jack had this otherworldly aspect that set him apart from the everyday world of bus rides, groceries and alarm clocks. But Alun was definitely of this world. This both excited Ianto and terrified him. It made the whole thing, seeing other men in a sexual way, that much more real. He couldn't really pretend any more that it was just Jack. He realized now that having sex with Jack was like taking off a mask he'd worn his entire life, one that had obscured his vision and hidden his true self. Now he was free to find out what that really meant.
The next time he went to the cafe, there was a queue of several people. As he waited he watched Alun at work, making drinks, joking with his co-workers. He felt a flicker of hope. Whatever happened, he wasn't going to hide from it. When Ianto's turn to order came up, Alun looked up and gave him a beaming smile when he saw who it was.
"Hey! Ianto! How are you?"
"Not bad."
"Usual order?"
"Yeah, thanks." Alun got started on the drinks.
"Coffee maker still on the fritz?"
"Yeah, looks that way." Ianto sighed inwardly. Oh well. The upside of his current coffee-making disability was that it got him into this cafe.
"Red's a good colour on you, by the way," Alun said in a honeyed tone, eyes roving down Ianto's chest as he leaned over the counter, his voice low against the background clatter of the cafe. Ianto's pulse quickened at the look in Alun's eyes. Ianto realized this was the first time he'd worn a red shirt in a while. Maybe since Jack had disappeared.
Once Alun had finished making all the drinks and they were ready to carry away in a tray, they continued chatting for a few minutes, while Alun moved on to making the next customers' drinks. Their eyes met and held a few times while they talked, a silent something simmering between them. Ianto let himself appreciate the line of Alun's belt as it wound around his slender hips, following its trail from the small of the back, over the hipbones, down to the buckle. His gaze wandered below the belt just for a moment, and he had a sudden image of pulling open the zip and slipping his hand inside. As he looked up, Alun caught his eye and Ianto felt heat creeping up his neck. Alun smirked ever so slightly and as he turned to make the next drink, seemed to sway his hips in a subtly inviting manner.
Ianto swallowed and cleared his throat.
"Uh, well, I better get going before these drinks cool off."
"All right. Thanks for coming by. Fancy a drink after work sometime?"
Ianto coughed and looked down, shifting his feet nervously. Why not? he thought. He really liked Alun, he had to admit. He found him very attractive. And Jack was gone. Although Ianto didn't like to think about it, he might not come back. Anyway, they'd never made any kind of promises to each other. He had to try to move on.
"Sure, love to. With any luck, I'll be free tonight. Although my job is unpredictable."
"Really? A tourist office? I'd think the hours would be fairly regular."
"Sometimes a last minute tour bus shows up."
"Oh. OK. Well, give me a buzz on my mobile."
They exchanged numbers and Ianto left the cafe feeling surprisingly excited. By the end of the day, he realised he'd only thought about Jack a few times since the morning, instead of his usual morose obsessing about where he'd gone and whether he was ever coming back.
A few weeks later, the Torchwood team was out for drinks down at the pub after a grueling session of weevil hunting. Ianto was casual, as he'd run out of spare suits at the Hub, and was wearing jeans and a forest green t-shirt. He'd taken to wearing casual clothes to work more and more, now that Jack wasn't there to supply a steady stream of leering, yet nonetheless flattering, commentary. He wiped his face with his hand, the other clasped around a cold glass of beer. Owen, Gwen and Tosh stared into space, quietly sipping at their drinks. Gwen and Owen each had a lager, and Tosh had a glass of red wine.
"At this rate, we're going to run out of space," Gwen remarked on the recent wave of weevil captures.
"No chance of that, there are several more levels we haven't even touched yet," Ianto said.
"Really?" Gwen looked incredulous.
"Yeah, really." Ianto stared flatly at her. "The Hub's mysterious ways," he said in the tone of a magician casting a spell, waving his fingers in the air at her.
Gwen snorted and flicked her fingers at him, then rested her head on her hand, face grey with exhaustion. Neither mentioned the real reason he was so familiar with the nether regions of the Hub.
The silence resumed, everyone saving their meagre energy for lifting their drinks to their mouths.
Ianto languidly scanned the early evening crowd, simply glad to be sitting down and holding a glass rather than running and shooting a gun. His face suddenly lit up as he spied someone in the crowd. "Excuse me, guys, I see a friend I want to say hi to," said Ianto. He scrambled out of the booth with sudden vigour. Tosh winced as Ianto crushed one of her feet in his haste.
"Where's he off to?" Owen grumbled. He looked in the direction Ianto had gone. Ianto was winding his way through the crowd near the bar. He could just make out Ianto behind a woman with a large blonde pouffy hairdo. He was talking to a very attractive man with dark, curly hair, slightly taller than him, and, oh my god, did the bloke just kiss him? The stranger wrapped a hand possessively around Ianto's hip, as Ianto put his arms around the guy's neck and kissed him back.
"Guys, don't look now, but I think Ianto's finally gotten over Jack," Owen drawled.
The energy level at the table rose immediately. Tosh and Gwen whipped their heads in Ianto's direction, craning their necks to see what Owen was talking about. Both made little mewing sounds of appreciation when they spied Ianto, now with his arm around Alun's waist.
"Who IS that guy?" Gwen asked, wondering why it was always the most attractive ones.
"I don't know, but now we know why Ianto's been hurrying out at the end of the day instead of cleaning Jack's office over and over," Tosh said. "Well, I'm glad for him. I was worried for a while there."
"Yeah, well, Teaboy always lands on his feet. Nine lives, that one's got," Owen remarked.
"Ssssh, pretend we're not looking," Gwen said in a rush, as Ianto and Alun started back towards their table.
Ianto felt rather brave introducing Alun to the team. It was bad enough when Jack had "outed" him by snogging him in front of everyone and then scampering off to God knows where. Not that anyone judged him, but he wasn't totally ready to be so open with his co-workers about shagging their male boss who just happened to have killed his girlfriend.
Despite Ianto's nerves, the team welcomed Alun right off, especially Gwen and Tosh, who fawned over him and gave Ianto significant looks when they found out he made coffee for a living. They'd actually had a pleasant time over a couple more rounds of drinks before everyone left for home in a daze of exhaustion.
As Ianto and Alun came out of the pub into the mild spring evening, Ianto glanced across the street and his heart skipped a beat. It was just out of the corner of his eye, but he could have sworn it was Jack, wearing his trademark swishing slate-blue coat. And he wasn't alone. He was with another man, also in a long coat, camel-colored, with an impressively airborne sweep of light brown hair over his brow, and a third person, a cute young woman wearing a short reddish leather jacket. But before he could confirm what he saw, Alun swept him up in a brief kiss.
Alun must have sensed his unease. "What's the matter?"
Ianto looked back across the street, but he saw nothing except a wall of those damn Saxon posters flapping in the breeze. Had he really seen Jack? And who were those other people?
"Nothing, I guess. Not important." He looked down at the sidewalk, trying to calm his thudding heart. Couldn't be. He must be seeing things. He was bone-tired and had had a few drinks, that was all. Just needed to get some sleep. Or at least, become horizontal. Preferably with Alun.
He turned to Alun, smiling over his prickling discomfort, and grabbed his hand, slowly rubbing the palm with his thumb. He gently bumped Alun's shoulder with his own. "Let's go to your place." Ianto's flat had too many memories of Jack.
"Sounds good to me. But sometime I'd like to see your flat." Alun stopped and turned to wrap his arms around Ianto's waist while leaning in for a kiss.
Ianto looked into his blue eyes, a shade greener than Jack's. Eyes that didn't hold a multitude of secrets and shifting realities, but the promise of something solid and real. Ianto darted a look across the street again, but the flickering mirage was definitely gone. He cupped Alun's jaw in his hand, gazing at him intently, and drew him in to press his lips firmly against the other man's. Alun eagerly opened his mouth to Ianto's as he tightened his arms around him. The kiss deepened as Ianto explored Alun's mouth with his tongue and Alun moaned very softly, pushing his hips forward.
Ianto could feel the buttery texture of Alun's leather jacket under his fingers and the pleasant scrape of Alun's jaw against his own. The jacket creaked slightly as Alun moved against him. Alun's cologne, a salty sweet musk, mingled with the ocean tang of the breeze from the bay. This was here. This was now. Not a chimera of deluded hope that might never materialize.
Ianto slid his hands into Alun's thick, dark mass of curls and ended the kiss with a satisfied smack. "Let's go home." Alun's sweetly crooked smile carried a tantalizing hint of what they might do when they got there, as they walked down the street, arms around each other's waist, the sidewalk solid beneath them.