This is a one-shot as well as a declaration to my coming out. My stories will, from here on out, be written on an erratic schedule again. I'm working on my novel in gifted, and I have more time for this than that. Also, from here on out, I will have the occasional yaoi story, whether one-shot, or a multi chapter story. I hope you all enjoy, and if you're like "What the fuck?" then go look at my profile.

My chest rose and fell as I stopped in front of the gates, my feet shuffling as I glared at the black iron bars. I didn't have time for this!

My elbow slammed down on the chain, the metal battle gear giving it a nice backup, the chain shattering almost immediately. "I promised myself I wouldn't be back…" I muttered as I walked along the gravel.

To my left and right there was endless green, specked with grey, and as I looked closer, I could make out the distinct shapes of each tombstone.

I was brought back to focusing on my steps as a stone nearly sent me to the ground my body shifting to the side so the red roses I clenched fervently in my fist wouldn't be crushed.

Maybe this wasn't a good idea? I remember what they did the last time I came…

My mind instantly flashed back to the shreds of my grey fur tinged with blood that clung to the fence spikes, my sides heaving as blood trickled from my side. The scent of burning flesh reiterated its presence in my nostrils, the strongest memorabilia I had from this event being the puckered flesh on my side. Damn lasers; I had almost died; I'm a god damn fool.

I finally got back to focus, my feet carrying me mere yards forwards before I made a sharp turn left.

Each gravestone in the row I had taken were all large and made of some glossy stone, who gives a fuck? I wish I had just died instead of him, it'd all be better, the world wouldn't be so fucked up, there wouldn't so much god damn crime and death. If only… no, I shook my head fervently in an attempt to make the thoughts stop.

Finally, I reached the other path, leading up to a large gravestone. My paws ached with each step I took, I felt like death and there was no doubt I'd wish for it to get to me sooner.

I resumed my steps up the path, an upwards slope leading to his shrine. Ha! He's the only sunnuva bitch in this galaxy that deserves a shrine.

Finally, I got to the top of the hill, and I felt like I couldn't get any further… I had to, for him, I had to.

Then, the only thing that separated me from his shrine was a velvet rope… it matched his fur. "Fuck!" I cursed as I felt the tears well up at the corners of my eyes. Why couldn't I just get over the fact that he was gone?

I finally got my large combat boots over the rope, my feet on the solid gold platform surrounding his memorial. No one knew who got him a solid gold memorial, except me, I shelled out my entire team's earnings for the past year just to get him what he deserved. I'm a fool.

I gently set the roses in front of the plaque, finally letting myself gaze at it. 'Here lies Fox McCloud, the savior and hero of the Lylat System on countless occasions. This humble hero lives on the hearts of us all to this day.'

The gold was cleaned recently, I could see my reflection, the grizzled lupine face of a mass murderer that deserved nothing more than execution. My eye patch, I expected to see it, but I got rid of it. The cool, dead violet of my blind eye wasn't visible on the gold, but I could feel it staring me down.

"It should've been me to die," I muttered, glaring at my own hands. A wave of pain smashed into me as I got one of those god forsaken flashbacks. Where was God now anyways, fucking me senseless in the third degree?

The images all rushed by, Fox had been discussing treaties with me… there was a sniper waiting for me to open the door. Falco had hired the dumbass in case things went wrong. Alls I can remember is as he left, I went to see him out… and then pain flashed in Fox's eyes as he looked into mine. In the next split second, a red beam struck the ground inches away from me, impaling Fox's heart mere moments before. He didn't even live till he fell, but I still caught him, I still cried. Words escaped my lips as they did in the flashback, "Wait for me…" I'm still crying.

My thoughts were broken as a small stream of tears started to hit the gold below, tangs of metal and water echoing in an endless chorus.

In the flashback, my hand had went into my pocket, and I knew why. The cold metal of Fox's blaster crept into my skin, what a stupid thing to keep as memorabilia. I'm remembering my lover with a fucking murder weapon.

"I never got a chance to tell you I loved you Fox… Are you waiting for me?

My hands gently pulled out the blaster, the lethal weapon rolling between my hands as I wondered the what if's again.

Shakily, I raised the blaster to my head. This was no time to back out, I had to live… I couldn't live. I screwed my life up so fucking bad that this is the only way out of my personal hell.

My finger tensed on the trigger, "I'm coming for you, my love. You can stop waiting," I whispered as a melancholy laugh escaped my lungs, hoarse and rough.

I tugged lightly on the trigger, and everything went black as I felt it rip my brain into shreds with one single heated blast. The burning only lasted a split second, then numbness.

Fox's voice was closer now than it had ever been before. Goodbye, cruel world.

This is a new first person writing style, a new take at dialogue, and partially inspired by J.D. Sallinger's Catcher in the Rye. I hope you all enjoyed this story, now I just have to name it.