YOU WATCHED MY HEART BLEED
CHAPTER 1: they say that true love hurts well this could almost kill me
Heyy this KASEY my second fanfic ever but it's gonna b goooood. JSYK ( just so u know) this will be like 3, 4 chps long and I love ECLARE TO DEATH literally ( insert cookoo face) hehe I feel high off life just a wee tad. IF U WANT MORE REVIEW AND REVIEW AND REVIEW LUV THEM REVIEWS!
Don't own degrassi insert sad face. Or The Harold Song where I got titles. But anyone enou go with that nonsense onwards you go to reading... Oh and I like ... Sry if it gets annoying...lol...
I stare forwards into the huge blue eyes ahead of me. These are the eyes that I fell in love with. These are the eyes that hold so many hopes, dreams, and feelings; some of which are for or include me. I'm doing this because I would do anything for her, so that she could be happy and we could be together. And I've tried everything to get that. I helped her get through her problems with her parents, have gotten rid of our tormentors. But, despite how much we fight for each other and show the world that we are meant to be together, it tries to tear us apart. Life is never easy…but this is too hard.
The fear in Clare is so crystal clear that almost I have to look away that it pains me so much…almost. This is right, at least that is what our twisted minds tell us. I still can't believe that I let this get soo bad. How could I let myself tarnish Clare, stealing her innocence? How was I able to turn her constant positivity and happiness upside down, then engulf her in my world full of darkness and never-ending pain and sorrow, wher thoughts run so darkly? My world…where no matter which direction you turn a future of bitterness and pain lies before you. I always wished for a way to leave this place, and Clare was my way out. She wrapped me up in her aura, radiating with cheer and joy and something else I had been lacking.…hope. She gave it back to me before it all became to much.
Before the full on blow of my disorder took over at he same time of the anniversary of Julia's death, when I completely lost it. I had gotten dangerous, people were scared... I was even scared. I was never worried that my life would be lost, gone forever. I was scared about how all of my drama would effect Clare . Would she feel as if a part of her had died? Would she fall into depression and think that there was nothing left to live for like I did? That's the only reason I'm not rotting in the dirt right now.
I take a seat on the dew covered grass right next to the love of my life, and grab her hand, shaking in fear and wet from wiping her tears.
"You're sure...about doing this"
"Of course" she mumbles barley audible.
"I just want you to be happy, we don't have to...but this way we will be together forever. No one will be in our way"
"Yup, this is the best way."
"Good. Oh look." I say pointing into the distance. I see the small glow of the light rounding the bend and watch it thinking that it is the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen. It grows larger the closer it comes to me and I can't wait. I stand up and pull Lilly to her feet. It's almost here. The sound of wheels rolling over tracks is crystal clear- no more than 30 seconds now. I slowly take my first steps towards death. This is the beginning of the end, and the anticipation is building up greatly inside of me- and there's no regret or pain, it doesn't even seem as final as it really is, just as though I am flipping through the final pages of a great book. But as I think of that I don't realize that I am writing the last pages of my own book...and stole Clare's pen and am writing hers too.
There is so little life left.
I feel the cold shattering bones in both hand grasping together as we step onto the uneven gravel, then the tracks. We stand tall thinking that this is right and strong. Whenever you talk to people about taking your own lives, you hear the same things. How cowardly it is, how you need to stand up and take control. But that is just what this is, taking control and ending it all in the most final way. People think its because we have just given up, but it is quite the opposite. There is the renewed hope that you can fix it all. No one, not a single person who hasn't gone through this themselves knows that we aren't done fighting, if we were to put it into "normal people terms"- I suppose- you could call it making your dreams come true. We are doing the one thing we want most in the world, despite what others think or say. So why do they call us weak! Aren't we really the strongest of them all?
Yards
Feet
Inches
That is the distance to the open arms of death
It is so close that I can feel its presence
Then the light gets so close and bright that it's blinding. I can feel the ground shaking from the weight of the train barreling our way. I whisper in Clare's ear how much I love her, how everything is already getting better. Then grip on my hand releases, and moves to my back.
"I love you Eli, you don't deserve this."
Then I am pushed off the course of death, not knowing if Clare made it out of the way as well...
CLIFFHANGER! Doo bee doo bee doo baa( yup I did just perry the platypus y);0P
Please click the little review button and leave you thoughts what eva they may be. I got like 1 review on my other story ( that is being taken down thx to f-ing writer's block) so I'm gonna aim sooiii high here 3 reviews for next chapter...might need 5 if im feeling greedy though. Hahaha FAREWELL FOR NOW MUCHACHOS (is that how you spell it don't even know after three yrs a Spanish -or is it French that I take lol jk) FROM UR STUPENDOUSLY AWESOME KASEY;0D