PROLOGUE – WHAT'S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?

A/n: I'm not dead! It turns out my wisdom teeth are coming in and they're mean.

This fic is complete, but I'm withholding the rest for possible edits in the future. I stayed up til 3am yesterday, woke up at 5am, and then stayed up until now, when I'm posting this, at 12:10am. So... hope y'all like late night ramblings. It took me HOURS to write this.

It's an AU I've entertained for months now with no intention of writing it but the people of Tumblr have spoken and I had to write it. You can thank them.

Please feel free to correct my French. I will also make corrections based on what the peeps over on AO3 and Tumblr tell me. Much thanks.

Edits were made for French in this chapter

NOTES: "This would be the French (This would be my translation for better understanding)."
Naruto and Sasuke's constant switching between both languages is done consciously, I'm pretty sure bilingual people don't switch like they do.

Hope you enjoy!

012606: Tu n'es pas sérieux (You're not serious)

012607: Yes, quite, actually. Its easy.

012606: C'est impossible (It's impossible

012607: Nah. All u have to do is act confidet. Confidence is key.

012606: *confident

012607: People tend to not question u when u look confident

012606: Au revor, mon ami (Farewell, my friend)

012607: *revoir

012607: lol, u can't eve speak French fri

012606: *even

012607: Fuk off

012606: …*fuck

They had only met online two months ago. Although he spoke perfect English, Naruto Uzumaki, aka 012607, didn't speak a lick of French. He was determined to learn and vowed to learn French in a month. He learned… the bare basics.

Fortunately enough for him, Sasuke Uchiha, aka 012606, had taken pity upon him.

So here Naruto was, two months after making first contact, in the airport with just a carry-on bag and a wadded-up napkin with a haphazardly scrawled address on it. His new-found project was hitch hiking via airplane. He had read online that someone had done it before, and he was sure to be another.

He didn't look anyone in the eye as he walked through the airport. He held himself high. Walked with a sense of overly inflated self-worth. Kept calm and collected as he moved past security, past the ticket checkers, and straight on in the airplane itself.

In so many, many, many hours, Naruto Uzumaki would be in France, finally meeting his friend face to face. Naruto looked forward to telling him to his face that he was right, that Naruto had told him so.

You can do anything with confidence. Confidence is key.

"No."

"Why not, Sas?"

"Because I said so!" Sasuke hissed into the phone.

"Come on, you'll love it here."

A moment was spent solely on Sasuke composing himself.

"Naruto."

"Yes."

Memories of their first meeting came to Sasuke's mind. Naruto wanted to be all cool and suave with his whole I-told-you-so attitude he adorned occasionally. He wanted it to be out-of-this-world memorable.

Bailing Naruto out when he failed to confidence his way through border patrol was definitely memorable. Sasuke had to pull name recognition to get him out of that one. The sad blue eyes are what did it in for him.

Honestly, this wasn't too out of the ordinary.

"I'm not moving to America." Sasuke said flatly.

"Tu me manques, Sasuke (I miss you, Sasuke)."

Sasuke groaned.

"Come on, you're always going on about how much you despise living in France."

"I do."

"Then leave."

"No!"

"Learn how to take a chance, Sas! Life isn't worth living if you ain't risking your hide at some point or another."

"…I've never heard of 'risk your hide'."

"Context clues, babe. Ponder le risque, Sasuke ("Ponder" a risk, Sasuke)."

"It's prendre (Take)."

"Stop correcting my French."

Against Sasuke's better judgement, he moved.

Naruto was right; what is life without crazy risks?

"Hey, Sasuke." Naruto leaned over on the couch to rest his head on Sasuke's shoulder.

"…yes?"

"Remember Kakashi and Gai's wedding?"

"Yes."

"Do you remember how fancy it was?"

"Yes."

"Do you remember all of the different foods there? The music? The cake?"

"Naruto."

"Do you know how long it took them to plan that?"

"Naruto, no."

"You can't preemptively say no, Sas."

"No."

"It took them –"

"No."

"9 months Sasuke."

"No."

"9 MONTHS! And they said that was a short time for that!" Naruto shifted to face Sasuke more fully, "Tu y crois toi (Do you believe it)?"

"Que veux-tu de moi (What do you want from me)?"

Naruto smiled, "2 mois (2 months)."

"…excusez-moi (Excuse me)?"

"Je veux 2 mois (I want 2 months). For the planning and everything."

"…for what?"

Naruto laughed. "The wedding, dear, the wedding."

The skeptical look on Sasuke's face encouraged Naruto to continue.

"Spontaneity is a very desirable trait, Sas, you should know that."

"Nothing about you is desirable."

"Oh, come on," Naruto posed on the couch, "only everything about me is desirable, mon chéri."

"You want me to plan a wedding on that scale… in 2 months?" Sasuke asked incredulously. He elected to ignore Naruto's sad attempt at seduction.

"Oh, no, no, no, no," Naruto shook his head, "No."

"Good, because I really thought you were asking me –"

"Obviously it has to be on a LARGER scale!"

Sasuke gave Naruto The Look™.

"You've got to be shitting me."

Sasuke shuffled slightly behind him, causing the sheets to rustle with the movement. Naruto opened his eyes slowly. He blinked the sleep out of them as he attempted to return to consciousness and enter the wonderous world of morning time.

Naruto smiled softly at Sasuke's soft wake up sound, a chirp of sorts that Naruto dubbed his activation tone. He rolled over to face his husband.

"Hey, Sas?"

"Mmmm?" Sasuke hummed, adjusting himself to look into Naruto's eyes.

"I'm going to run for president."

Sasuke closed his eyes. He pinched the bridge of his nose as if he had a migraine.

"Is that what we're going to do today?"

"Confidence makes the person.

"Willingness to take a chance, to take risks to do what is best, defines character.

"Spontaneity, the ability to adapt to any situation faced, dictates endurance.

"Not every person has mastered all of these traits. I have, making me an invaluable asset to whatever position I am placed in. But, to be honest, I'm going straight for the tip top.

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki, presidential hopeful, eagerly awaiting the day that I may be able to serve you. Now I ask of you, if you're not already convinced that I'm a great guy for president and are questioning whether your vote is safe with me, to ask yourself one simple question:

"What's the worst that could happen?"