Cloud slumped into his Lazy-Boy recliner. "How could they?" He thought. "How could they possibly forget my birthday? After all, I'm the one who defeated Sephiroth and saved all their sorry butts anyway! Ah, forget it. I don't need a birthday party, I'm an ex-SOLDIER."
He spent the next hour and a half surfing channels and watching a documentary called Turkey Call: An American Tradition. He was half-asleep when the telephone rang, waking him up immediately.
"Yo, Cloud here."
"Hi, it's Yuffie!"
Cloud rolled his eyes and continued.
"What do you want, woman?!"
"Well, I need you to go pick up my grandma from the airport. She's coming in on flight 7654 out of Nibelheim."
Cloud paused for a moment and was ready to hang up the phone. After all, why should he waste his time picking up some decrepit prune?
"Well, I don't think so, Yuffie. I'm not exactly good with people."
"Oh, don't worry. She's already dead."
"WHAT!" Cloud shouted, choking on his own saliva.
"I'm having her remains shipped in an urn. I trust you to take good care of her! Bye!"
"Trust me, I won't FORGET." He added, emphasizing forget.
Cloud put on his coat and climbed into his Chevy Astro. Shinra doesn't exactly pay their employees very well, you see. Forgot his keys. Had to go back to get them. Soon he was on his way.
"Oh she owes me for this one! I have to miss Friends so grandma can get home safely. Why didn't she call Vincent? He's got a nicer car, anyway. I'll bet he was too busy watching Buffy."
Cloud silently chuckled at his own attempted joke. Didn't know why. It wasn't even funny. "I swear, I've met carbon rods with more interesting personalities." He said, dissing himself.
Along the way he got stuck in traffic behind some Asian guy. Had to make a dangerous maneuver around a 18-wheeler to pass. That was okay, he lived for danger. Either that or he lived for sitcoms.
He found himself a parking spot and rushed to gate 3,555,994,432 with just enough time to catch her. As you can imagine, he was VERY upset when the check-in lady told him the urn would be at baggage claim. You would be too if you had to walk back 3,555,994,432 gates back to the entrance where the baggage claim was.
"Wheeeeez. Wheeeeeeez. Huff, Huff. Phew!" He was completely out of breath by the time he arrived.
"Aye, lad. You be waitin' 'or a bag as well? Wher I comes 'rom, we don' even use public transportation! America a strange place indeed."
Cloud had to help from chuckling at his heavy Scottish accent.
"Wha' ye be laughin' at, youngun'? Wheres I comes 'rom, youngsters respectin they elders! Ya' anyway I be lettin' it go this 'ime. Ye' know, me gots a farm back in Morocco. Spinach mostly."
Cloud just gave him a "ya, that's nice" look and slowly sauntered away
BEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEP
"Finally." Cloud thought.
He stood for a good half-hour waiting for the urn, and it eventually showed up in a cardboard box with the label FRAGILE: HANDLE CAREFULLY. Unfortunately, Cloud was a little behind on his reading skills.
"What's fr...frag...frageelay mean?" He wondered, as he chucked it in the back of his van with the least care humanly possible.
Back home again. He pulled into the garage and heaved the urn out of the trunk.
"Man, grandma was HEAVY!" He thought as he carried it inside. He was surprised to find the lights turned off when he came home. And when he turned them on, he was shocked to find all of his friends shouting "Surprise" at him.
"Baret...Red XIII...Tifa...Vincent...Sephiroth...SEPHIROTH?!" He raised his voice to a shout on the last name.
"Surprise, Cloudy boy!" Sephiroth yelled gleefully.
Cloud was so shocked, the box fell from his arms and hit the floor with a thud.
"Oh...crap..." he thought to himself. "I'm in trouble..."
The last thing Cloud saw was a flash of Yuffie's throwing star before he died.
~*FIN*~
He spent the next hour and a half surfing channels and watching a documentary called Turkey Call: An American Tradition. He was half-asleep when the telephone rang, waking him up immediately.
"Yo, Cloud here."
"Hi, it's Yuffie!"
Cloud rolled his eyes and continued.
"What do you want, woman?!"
"Well, I need you to go pick up my grandma from the airport. She's coming in on flight 7654 out of Nibelheim."
Cloud paused for a moment and was ready to hang up the phone. After all, why should he waste his time picking up some decrepit prune?
"Well, I don't think so, Yuffie. I'm not exactly good with people."
"Oh, don't worry. She's already dead."
"WHAT!" Cloud shouted, choking on his own saliva.
"I'm having her remains shipped in an urn. I trust you to take good care of her! Bye!"
"Trust me, I won't FORGET." He added, emphasizing forget.
Cloud put on his coat and climbed into his Chevy Astro. Shinra doesn't exactly pay their employees very well, you see. Forgot his keys. Had to go back to get them. Soon he was on his way.
"Oh she owes me for this one! I have to miss Friends so grandma can get home safely. Why didn't she call Vincent? He's got a nicer car, anyway. I'll bet he was too busy watching Buffy."
Cloud silently chuckled at his own attempted joke. Didn't know why. It wasn't even funny. "I swear, I've met carbon rods with more interesting personalities." He said, dissing himself.
Along the way he got stuck in traffic behind some Asian guy. Had to make a dangerous maneuver around a 18-wheeler to pass. That was okay, he lived for danger. Either that or he lived for sitcoms.
He found himself a parking spot and rushed to gate 3,555,994,432 with just enough time to catch her. As you can imagine, he was VERY upset when the check-in lady told him the urn would be at baggage claim. You would be too if you had to walk back 3,555,994,432 gates back to the entrance where the baggage claim was.
"Wheeeeez. Wheeeeeeez. Huff, Huff. Phew!" He was completely out of breath by the time he arrived.
"Aye, lad. You be waitin' 'or a bag as well? Wher I comes 'rom, we don' even use public transportation! America a strange place indeed."
Cloud had to help from chuckling at his heavy Scottish accent.
"Wha' ye be laughin' at, youngun'? Wheres I comes 'rom, youngsters respectin they elders! Ya' anyway I be lettin' it go this 'ime. Ye' know, me gots a farm back in Morocco. Spinach mostly."
Cloud just gave him a "ya, that's nice" look and slowly sauntered away
BEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEP
"Finally." Cloud thought.
He stood for a good half-hour waiting for the urn, and it eventually showed up in a cardboard box with the label FRAGILE: HANDLE CAREFULLY. Unfortunately, Cloud was a little behind on his reading skills.
"What's fr...frag...frageelay mean?" He wondered, as he chucked it in the back of his van with the least care humanly possible.
Back home again. He pulled into the garage and heaved the urn out of the trunk.
"Man, grandma was HEAVY!" He thought as he carried it inside. He was surprised to find the lights turned off when he came home. And when he turned them on, he was shocked to find all of his friends shouting "Surprise" at him.
"Baret...Red XIII...Tifa...Vincent...Sephiroth...SEPHIROTH?!" He raised his voice to a shout on the last name.
"Surprise, Cloudy boy!" Sephiroth yelled gleefully.
Cloud was so shocked, the box fell from his arms and hit the floor with a thud.
"Oh...crap..." he thought to himself. "I'm in trouble..."
The last thing Cloud saw was a flash of Yuffie's throwing star before he died.
~*FIN*~