YASSSSSSSS! NOOO STOOR EZ!

yeah, the clans are f**ked

"Hello, you worthless pieces of trash!" Bramblestar said to him a cats

I found this unusual thing in this Twoleg den I saw in the Twolegplace...

There was this thing that was called Catizon... And it sold these things called cPhones, Catsums, Brindle Water... And TV's..."

"Oh ohh I have a question!" There was a scream from Lilyheart below. "How can cats read?"

"Lilyheart, f*** you and that question. Now, let me hand you your cPhones. Catsums and Brindle Waters are for SKRUUBBZBZBZBBZ!"

Squirrelflight was raging. "Bramblestar, this game is impossibullcrap!"

"What game is it?" Bramblestar gently said to his mate.

"The Very Easy 4-Piece Puzzle Game for Kits..."

"..." Bramblestar silenced...

Lilyheart raised her paw. "OHH OHH MEMEMEMEMEMEME!"

Bramblestar groaned. "What?"

"Ha-How do you- uh... Ho-how do you silence?" She stammered like a kit.

"Stop breaking the fourth wall, you know what that led to in Skrubkit's-"

"Hey, Bramblestar!" Cloudtail said. "There's nothing on the TV!"

"Well, Cloudtail, you need to make TV PROGRAMS."

Like he knew what that meant, Cloudtail nodded, "OK. C'mon, Thornclaw!"

"W-Wait! I didn't tell you ho-" But before Bramblestar could finish, Cloudtail was gone.

"AUGH! Why was this day so frigging stressful!?" He thought.

"OK, Thornclaw, hold the camera."

"Alright. Oops... I think I accidentally starte-"

"HEEEYYYY ALL YOU OLD F**KS OUT THERE! YEAH, YOU, SANDSTORM AND GRAYSTRI-"

"Er... Cloudtail...?"

"WHAT?!" Cloudtail snapped.

"I accidentally had it on selfie mode..."

"And, so...?"

"We're live... I can't stop..."

"Oh my StarClan, just turn it around."

10 Seconds later...

"NO, AIM IT MORE TO THE RIGHT!" Millie yowled.

"NO, MY LEFT... Oh nevermind, I mixed it up again XD!"

"Screw selfie mode." Hollyleaf rolled her eyes.

Jayfeather glared at her. "How dare you?"

"Oh, what do you know about selfies?! You're blind!"

"Well at least now I have better senses than Dovewing."

"That's not true!" Dovewing snapped. "I can see!"

"But I hear better."

"COME AT ME, YOU BLIND FU-"

But Jayfeather was already clawing her...

And she lost. You suck Dovewing, defeated by a blind cat.

And blind people, don't comment "I'm offended coz I'm blind!"

"Have you ever wanted to be a lazy skrub and never have to go through the mind blowingly tough process of speaking?"

"Yeah!" Lilyheart screeched.

"Well now you can all chat with, LIONBLAZE CHAT NETWORK, FOR THE cPHONE!"

"But I have a Catsum!" Longtail complained.

"Oh, go back to StarClan!" Lionblaze retorted.

"Ok." Longtail said. "At least I can actually see there!"

"Excuse you?!" Jayfeather snapped.

"Seeing is fun. You don't have to watch with your ears... So much work."

Jayfeather growled. "Grr..." He growled, because... Well, that's what you say when you growl.

"Go die."

"But I'm already dead, and the Dank- I MEAN Dark Forest is dead, so... No thanks."

"F**k you and your witty insults!"

"Who says the Dark Forest is dead?" Hawkfrost chats.

"OHHOHOHHOHOHOHOHHOH!" Lilyheart raised her paw.

"WHAT?!" Hawkfrost chatted.

"How do you chat with sound."

"NUUU, YOU FOUND OUT MAH SECREETYTSSTSTSTSTSTZZYZ"

"No* My* Secrets*" Tigerstar chatly corrected.

"Actually, Skrubface, chatly isn't a wo-"

Shut up Tiggerstar!

"Did you just call me TigGerstar?"

Yeah, and now I'm ending the chapter because of you. Have a nice... Night...? Morning...? Idk I'm posting this at 1 A.M. Chappie 2 is coming so-

"Chapter-*"

SHUSH UP TIGERSTAR!

"Shut*"

"..."

"STAHHP SILENCING!" Lilyheart screamed.

Oh my StarClan, a chaosy end-

"CHAOSY ISNT A WO-"