Title: Bone of Contention

Author: MeLi

Author's e-mail: remmirath@fibertel.com.ar

Pairing: HP/SS

Rating: PG-13 to be on the safe side – mentions of sexual intercourse :o)

Summary: Agreements and disagreements. Characters talk.

AN: Part of "From Dusk Til Dawn" the HP/SS Fuh-Q-Fest at:

Challenge: Write a story that is exactly 1000 words long.

AN II: This is my first attempt at an all dialogue fic. Feedback would be very much appreciated.

AN III: Pat and Linda, a million 'thank you's are not enough for all the help you give me.

Beta: Many thanks go to Corroborative and Tabitha.

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"No."

"Please, Professor."

"No."

"I'll clean the classroom for you."

"NO."

"I'll reorganize the Potion ingredients."

"For the nth time, Finnigan, I will not kiss you or otherwise engage in licentious acts with you!"

"I'll—"

"NO! Get out of my classroom!"

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"What's with the long face, Seamus?"

"I just went to see Snape."

"I told you he'd kick you out."

"You were right, okay, Harry? There, I admitted it. No need to look so smug about it."

"You should have known. Harry told you the man wouldn't take you up on your offer. He looks way too good to want to go out with you—no offence."

"Let it go, Seamus. Maybe Snape's not interested in this kind of thing any more. Maybe he's already found someone. Whatever the reason, just deal with it and move on."

"Of course! That's it! Someone must have beaten me to it. It's the only reasonable explanation. Now I just have to find out who it is and duel him for sexy Sev."

"Why did you have to say that, Harry? Why give him more ideas?"

"Oh, get off me, Ron. I was trying to talk him out of it."

"Harry's right, Ron. Whatever we say will give Seamus a new idea."

"You find all of this amusing, do you, Neville? Wait till Seamus tries to get you to help actively. He'll talk your ear off and then some. He'll bug you day and night. Wait till it's you he tries to get to help make Snape undress."

"Would you stop talking as if I weren't here?"

"Will you stop talking about this if we don't?"

"Of course not. You should know that by now. It just annoys me when you leave me out of the conversation."

"Well, we wouldn't try and leave you out of the conversation if you had a wider range of topics to discuss. But you seem to be stuck on one."

"Hey all. What are we talking about?"

"Dean, do you always have to speak in the third person?" *sigh*

"Seamus is on about his plans to bed Snape."

"What?! But he's a teacher and—"

"Oh, Dean, I keep forgetting you're Muggle-born and know nothing of our world."

"Hey! I do know—"

"I mean of our traditions. There's no problem with a student-teacher relationship in the Wizarding World as long as both parties are of age."

"Actually, it's even encouraged. It's considered to be a good way of introducing young Wizards and Witches to the wonderful world of sexual intercourse. Of course, the teacher can't be the one to proposition. It must be the student who asks."

"It sounds reasonable if you think about it. I mean, why prevent two consenting people from being together when all it takes is a drop of Veritaserum to find out if any kind of coercion was involved?"

"But Snape wouldn't—"

"Yes, he would, Dean. He's been having a different bed-warmer every year since before Bill came to Hogwarts. Two at a time last year, if what the twins kept bragging about was true."

"Does he—"

"He's bedded both boys and girls."

"Will I be able to make a complete statement, or will you keep taking turns to cut me off?"

"We let you finish that one."

"Thank you for such kindness. Now, let me see if I get this straight. You're saying there's nothing wrong with a sexual relationship between a student and a teacher—"

"As long as they're both over 16, yes."

"—and that it's been known for teachers to do it before?"

"At least Snape has."

"See you, everybody!"

"Dean! Where are you going?"

"I need to talk to Professor Black."

"You're going to proposition my godfather!"

"Technically, I'm going to speak to him as my teacher, not your godfather, but yes, that would be what I'm about to do. Bye!"

"I can't believe him! With all the teachers in school, he had to choose Sirius!"

"Now, Harry, look at the bright side. At least he won't be fighting me for Snape!"

"Blindingly bright, that side."

"Watch it, Harry, or I'll think you're the one Snape's seeing. You're starting to sound like him."

"Like that'd ever happen, right Harry?"

"I wish it did happen. We wouldn't have to listen to Seamus if it was his friend who was seeing Snape."

"Ron!"

"I'm sorry, Herm. I'm just fed up with Seamus' constant babbling about Snape. I didn't mean I wanted Harry to have sex with the greasy bastard."

"He's not a greasy bastard, really. Yeah, he may be a touch too sarcastic at times, but it's funny once you get used to it. And he's got a body to kill for..."

"..."

"Harry? Is there anything you'd like to tell us?"

"So that's why you were so sure he'd kick me out!"

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"How did you manage to make your new fan leave you alone for the evening?"

"Very funny. How did you manage to come here without being followed by the horde of teachers lusting after you now that you're of age?"

"Ha, ha. I have methods to remain unseen, thank you very much."

"So you admit teachers have been following you."

"Well, it's only to be expected, isn't it? When one looks as good as I do..."

"Watch it, you're starting to sound like a Malfoy."

"Do you mind? I'm trying to bask in the afterglow here, and I can't very well do it with you mentioning that name, now can I?"

"I was just pointing out a fact."

"That smile doesn't look at all innocent, so you might as well wipe it off your face."

"That's better. Now you're sounding more like me."

"You want your partner to be like you? Why, I didn't know there was a narcissistic side to you, Sev."

"Shut up, you silly boy. And that smile doesn't look at all innocent, so you might as well wipe it off your face."

"Night, Sev."

"..."

"Good night, Harry."

End

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