Why am I even surprised?
I should have known this would happen the minute he ripped his shirt off, swung it around over his head like a windmill, and climbed unto a table, dancing like what I can only describe as a hexed noodle.
It was not uncommon for a party to pop up in the Slytherin common room. As much as we enjoy high society, we also enjoy drinking like drunken sailors. Tonight, we had one of these parties and everything was going well until my boyfriend, the Quidditch star, the prefect, the heir to the Malfoy estate, decided it was a good idea to play beer pong, but with Firewhiskey instead of Butterbeer.
Around here, Lucius is known as the cool guy who can drink a ton and just get cooler. He's the life of the party—until we get back to his room and all the alcohol hits him at once. I, on the other hand, know the real drunk Lucius Malfoy—a bloody git.
We were enjoying a few rare moments alone in his dormitory while all his roommates were still at the party. We'd managed to get each other undressed and things were starting to get exciting when it all caught up to him. Now, here we are.
"Narcissa, I'm dying!" he moaned, slurred and muffled due to the fact that his head was in a bucket and I was holding back his platinum blonde hair (which everyone thought he was so cool for growing out) while he vomited up straight liquor. I sat on the edge of his bed and he sat on the ground beneath me, almost looking like the pathetic toddler he was acting as.
"You aren't dying, you're just drunk," as annoyed as I am, I can't bruise his ego if I want his grandmother's handcrafted goblet-forged engagement ring.
"Help me! Call a healer!" he cried and with another gag, coughed up more of his night's indulgences.
"You're fine," I rubbed his back musing on my own buzz that was now completely gone thanks to this (as he likes to call himself) man writhing in front of me.
"Literally, fuck Rosier," another gag, "he convinced me to funnel gin and chase it with that Muggle shit! What's that shit called?"
"Tequila," I offered.
"Yeah!" he puked again at the sound of the word.
As I cooed some more meaningless comforts to him, I could hear people starting to be loud in the dormitory halls. Around this time of night, the parties always started making their way back to the bedrooms, with people either passing out or looking to hook up with whomever they'd been fancying all night.
Just as he lifted his head, done with his barfing spell for now, the doorknob turned as one of his roommates seemed to be trying to get into the room. We locked the door with magic when we came in, so his efforts were to no avail.
"Open this door Malfoy!" Yaxley drunkenly stammered from the other side.
"Just wait!" Lucius called back.
"Stop fucking Black for two minutes and let me in here!" Yaxley called out again.
"Merlin, can you wait!" Lucius yelled back.
Then, a bunch of things happened at once. Lucius stood up and shoved his barf bucket into my arms. All in the same motion, he jumped behind me so he was sitting on the edge of the bed and I was sitting on the ground, trading places from how we had been positioned just a moment ago. He gathered my hair, the motion moving the bucket beneath me so I was staring right at the mess at the bottom of it that he'd just created. Just as he flicked his wand to let Yaxley in, my stomach turned over and I threw up right into the bucket, having had to stare at the revolting puddle in it already.
"Oh, Cissa! Did you drink to much!" Yaxley teased. The fifth year girl he'd brought to shag giggled.
"Yes, poor thing!" Lucius patted my back gently.
Son of a bitch.