This Oneshot is based on the chapter 143 of the manga, not on the anime. I implied NinaxTenma. I hope you will like it. If you don't and have constructive critique it would be so nice of you would tell me! Because I am still working on my writing skills.
Numb.
Only moments before, the purest feelings of despair and self hatered had teared her apart, in thousands of pieces. Immense, violent and mercyless waves of truth had thrown her against the sharp cliffs, again and again. Then it had stopped- the water had pulled her into the cold and dark deep, where her soul and her senses became numb.
"Nina... it's me..."
Under water, the voice wasn't easy to hear.
"...Tenma..."
Tenma?
She felt a warm hand carefully taking her own and removing the pistol slowly and softly. Her senses came back to her, she awakened from the numbness, the cruel reality rushing all over her.
Her fault. Her fault, her fault!
"That's enough... It's okay now."
"No! No, no!" It wasn't okay at all!
"It wasn't me! I wasn't the one who said welcome back... The one who did it... I was... what I said was..."
Nina started shivering with her whole body.
"Johan is mistaken... He only heard what I told him. The one they took to the Red Rose Mansion.. was me!"
Scared... Scared, scared, scared, scared.
She was so scared!
"I told him..."
She felt his hand holding her head lightly against his chest.
"It's okay", she heard his voice, bitterly. But it wasn't.
"I told Johan about all those aweful experiences I had... Johan took those experiences..."
"That's enough."
"Johan took those experiences and convinces himself that they were his own... It is my fault that Johan is the way he is!"
If she hadn't told him.. If she only hadn't told him...
All her life had been a lie. All the happy memories, all the people she had loved, all her beliefs...
Because the truth was, that she was the one that should have become the monster.
"That's enough, Nina!" Tenma yelled angrily and pulled her thighter to himself. His presence and his words were comforting. But she didn't deserve it. Especially not from him.
A few minutes of silence passed.
""I told him everything. Just now... Johan listened to my story. And it seemed as though he was laughing... But it also seemed as though he was crying... I've never seen another human looking that way...I couldn't shoot him. But I know that he will destroy himself. Just like me..."
Because she was something that shouldn't exist. Because everything was her fault. Because she and Johan were-
"No!"
"But don't you see that I have to do it?!", she screamed.
And then, she felt him gripping her shoulders strongly.
"You can't!", he yelled, with all his heart. The anger and the despair in his voice shattered through the wall of her destructive thoughts. He pulled her into a thight embrace, his arms circeling around her.
"You can't... What would I do if something happened to you? If you died...?"
The words took her by suprise. And warmth...
"If you died, where would I go? Please stay alive. Please... No matter what happens."
The meaning of the words manifested in her mind and she grasped onto it, a string of light pulling her out of the darkness.
He didn't blame her. She was important. She was important to him. She gave him comfort, just as much as he gave comfort to her. They both were the same...
The sound of his pleading voice stuck in her head. She felt his closeness, her head against his chest,his light. And then she fell into another numbness, a numbness absolutely contrary to the one before. The deepness she sunk into was made out of comfort. It slowly erased everything and she gratefully gave into it.
"Please..."