I didn't even like this band. Their music was stale and repetitive, all of the songs sounding the same and never once catching my attention, the beat was monotonous to me and not as motion-inducing as other artists' work. The environment was less enjoyable as well. The people in the crowds all seemed fake, as if they didn't actually want to be there are were only occupying this bar for the booze, not the actual show itself. I only spotted a few people among the droves of adolescents wearing band merchandise or sporting any signs of music appreciation on their attire – while I stood in the corner, donned in a shirt with a band logo on it and dozens of bracelets covering my wrists also related to musicians of some kind.
I wasn't sure why I had gone to that show. Maybe I just wanted to get out for a while. Either way, I was starting to regret it, forgetting whatever reasoning I previously had and yearning to leave. The crowds were so dense though, I could barely make it to the door. Not wanting to endure the inevitable awkwardness that would arise from needing to push strangers out of the way in order to exit, I simply dealt with the cringe-worthy "music" being preformed by the band and tried to distract myself.
I didn't know anyone there. Usually I at least recognized a few people among the unfamiliar faces. This just proved to me that none of my respectful peers had wanted to come to this particular show, knowing how bad it would have been and being more smart than I had.
A few macho guys got into a shoving match a little closer to me than I would have liked, so I sidled along the wall until I reached a window and hoisted myself up onto the fairly wide sill, sitting on it. I had a better view of what was going on from this vantage point. People were standing shoulder-to-shoulder, and although I was used to the close proximities that didn't mean I liked them.
A girl that looked roughly my age apparently thought that my impulsive relocation was a good idea, since she joined me on the sill at my side. Though she didn't say anything to me and her eyes didn't even slightly look in my direction, I found myself examining her out of my peripheral vision. I wasn't sure why it mattered but I felt relieved when I saw that she seemed to be a genuine fan; her shirt sporting a band logo and a baseball cap worn loosely on her red, curly hair covered in stickers labeled with other band names. I diverted my attention before she caught me awkwardly looking at her. But I couldn't shake the image of her face from my head. Even if it was just a profile, she was extremely pretty. I had no idea why I was so entranced by her, she was just a girl, I knew literally nothing about her. But despite that, for once, I didn't at all mind our close proximity.
One of the dudes in the fight accidentally slammed into my left leg, sending me stumbling into the girl at my right. She smelt like apples, a very relieving, welcoming scent after the grotesque aromas of a bar. My cheeks lit with a red blush and I turned to look at her, our eyes locking. Hers were such a bright blue, the light black makeup that surrounded them making the color stand out even more. She had caught me in her arms when I fell, and I think I stayed in the impulsive embrace for a bit longer than was acceptable, but she hadn't shoved me away yet.
"Sorry," I mouthed the apology, knowing she wouldn't have been able to hear me anyway with the loud ambiance. I moved from her, my face resembling a beet, and returned to my original position, my hands folding together in my lap. I could feel her staring at me, though I simply couldn't bring my eyes to her again.
After about 3 minutes straight of sitting there, still knowing she hadn't looked away, I finally pushed the awkwardness I felt aside and looked at her. When I did, she smiled at me, her teeth a dazzling white that seemed to glow even in the dim lighting of this room.
"Don't worry about it," She mouthed back to me. It was then that I was really paying attention to the distance between us. Even though I knew that it was strange to be looking at her for this long, not saying anything, just staring, it was really hard to turn away. Giving her the best smile I could manage, I brought my attention back to the show. It was awful. I just stared at the floor.
There was still a small space on the sill, which was apparently large enough for another girl in the crowd to notice it. She hopped up, holding a red plastic cup in hand full of some kind of alcohol, rudely pushing the girl to my right aside to make more room. Now I was practically touching her side. I tensed up, trying desperately not to make any physical contact, worrying what I might do if that happened again. We were really close, to the point that if we were actually friends we would have been having a conversation, or interacting with each other, or linking arms or something, not at all worrying about bumping into one another. That, however, wasn't the case.
I felt myself jump slightly when a warm hand rested on top of mine. My head whipped towards her – the girl – and I was extremely surprised to see her just staring at me. We were so close to one another. I glanced at our hands – just as she interlaced our fingers together. I was so taken aback and confused.
When she started leaning towards me I had no idea how to react. I didn't know her. I didn't know her name, I didn't know her age, I didn't know anything regarding her. But she was pretty. So pretty. I was frozen and couldn't move away. Or maybe I wouldn't? I wasn't sure. All I was sure of was how close she was getting to me. And that I wasn't rejecting this advance. My eyes continued to move from her eyes to her lips, her lips that were getting so close to mine.
They were smooth and almost unbelievably soft. I felt my eyes close instinctively, reveling in the absolute perfection that this kiss emanated, that this kiss spread into me. Chills shot up and down my spine, my head was spinning, and I was paralyzed. She was kissing me. I didn't know why. I didn't know her. I didn't know how. I didn't even know if any of this was real. Her fingers tightened on mine. The sounds around us, previously blaring and deafening, were now silent and muffled, as if I was underwater.
I heard something, though. The other, slightly inebriated girl that had joined us on the sill rudely scoffed, and I heard her mumble under her breath, "Dykes," before hopping down and most likely merging in with the crowd.
The girl pulled away from our kiss, the space between us not very large but bigger than I wanted it to be. We both exhaled shakily in unison, our eyes still closed. When we disconnected the noise around us returned. Reluctantly opening my eyes, feeling as if the moment would cease to have existed if I did, I saw her amazingly blue ones staring back at me. Her expression was unreadable. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but must have become aware of the deafening sounds, before leaning forward again. I expected and hoped for another kiss but she instead moved to the right of my head, so that her lips hovered inches from my ear.
"I'm Chloe." She whispered huskily. I shuddered, feeling her warm breath trailing down my neck. That name was going to be permanently embedded in my mind. I knew it wasn't going to leave even if I willed it to.
"Beca," I responded, my own name sounding foreign to me. She remained right next to me, not moving from that position, me not wanting her to.
She abruptly moved completely away from me and hopped from the sill, conforming with the crowd and vanishing from my sight. My face fell and my stomach dropped. I had no idea why I felt such a horrible loss when she simply left without another word. But I found myself saying her name over and over again in my head.
Chloe...
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