Author's Note: woah did this come from 2008??? anyway, enjoy this joke I made
It was a cold, overcast morning. Sonic was quietly washing a couple of unclean dishes. It wasn't his job. It was Mario's.
"POUR-A-ME SOME COFFEE, WILL 'YA?" Said Mario, condescendingly.
Sonic slowly shuffled his feet towards Mario. While he was pouring his latte, a drop of coffee fell on Mario's overalls.
Mario began berating him. Berating on how useless, stupid and how much of a failure he is. Soon after, Mario began punching and beating him.
"YOU'RE SUCH-A PRICK TO BE WITH! I CAN'T BELIEVED I LOVED YOU!"
After fifteen minutes of a "simple" scolding, Sonic began his usual morning routine before driving to work, the only source of income for the two of them.
While dressing into his business outfit, he finally began reflecting on what gone wrong.
I don't understand. He used to bring me to life. He was warm and he came dignified. Now, I don't know who he is anymore.
"WHERE THE FUCK'S MY BOOZE?!" Yelled Mario, all the way from the kitchen.
I'm so torn. I feel cold, like I'm chained naked to the floor.
Before Sonic left to work, he served Mario a plate of leftover hotdogs from the fridge. He was already asleep on the recliner, facing the bright television.
I'm not okay, but it's fine. Thanks for the memories, even though they weren't so great.
As he began rolling off the driveway, he began his pondering again.
I tore my heart open. I cared too much. I'm wondering how I got out of bed at all. How did I run out of faith?
He knew he was going to be late again. He knew his boss would start screaming at him again unless he did him favors.
There was a project deadline at the end of the week that worried him a lot. He wasn't able to work that much on the project due to the fact his husband would beat him if he didn't make him dinner.
These scars remind me of this cruelest dream reality. I have no options left.
I hate everything about you. Why do I even love you? I'm going under, drowning in you.
In front of a busy intersection, he clutched his hands onto the wheel. He knew what he wanted to be done.
I don't know how I got this way. I know I'll never be alright. You know what? I'm breaking this habit tonight.
Sonic floored the pedal. He drove onto the busy intersection.
I feel so alive, but in the end, it won't even matter.
Later that night, Mario was slumped over the recliner with TV turned on. Even with the loud reporter drowning him out, he managed to fall asleep.
"There was a huge accident this morning. A red light runner was hit by a bus left from him. Right after the small car was struck, it rolled twice before landing upside-down with its fuel spilling out. The driver of the car was killed. Luckily, nobody in the bus was hurt."
Half-asleep, Mario mumbled, "Serves him, right." before trailing off.