In my heart there's something I hide
I don't know why but it makes me cry.
Is it what they call love? I wonder inside
For you to find out, let's go back to the past.
I was a freshman before
I entered a school that I never longed for,
I didn't even think I would experience this way
This something I can't even say.
It was my first time to encounter
A guy who would let me know what he felt
But then for me, it was okay as I remember
Until one time, an unexpected day came.
It was our recognition day that time
I didn't know what was on his mind
When he did something, I don't know how
That caused me to hate him, I don't know why
I got angry, that's what I felt
Then he wrote a letter and gave it to me
But I tore it without even knowing
That the letter just wanted to say sorry.
Next year came and again we met,
We didn't even talk to each other
Then accidentally we both got sick
And I gave my medicine for him to take.
But then, one day came
He told the class that he was going to leave
I didn't know what to feel
But he will surely leave, I just can't believe.
Months and days passed by
I was shocked when he called up
He misses me is what he says
Deep inside, I knew I felt the same way.
Years passed, now I am a senior
The 7th month of the year came
He called me up again like before
Exactly 9:30 at night on July's third day
We just talked over the phone
Like close friends, just as others do
Until the topic reached the issue
The issue we had before
He told me that he loved me
Even though we were apart
"That's why" he said, "I studied hard"
"For me to prove to you that I can be better"
I was amazed and felt proud
He was the first one who told me that
I was flattered and happy
At last, he told me that bravely.
He asked me if he could court me
I don't know what to say but yes
He was happy, I think
He felt so good to say those words
He called me once or twice a week
That made me excited and wanted to speak
I admit I waited for his call
Even though sometimes, I denied it more
Seven days a week
Day after day he called
It made me comfortable and in peace
Every time I hear his voice.
August 12 this time
He called me up more than 4 times,
I didn't know why but I was surprised
We finished our chat late at night.
Before, he promised me
That he would go back home soon
I felt happy and willing to wait
Even though there was no assurance at all.
Before it ended, sweet words were said.
I told him good night
He answered the same and sleep tight
That's how our talk ended.
Next day, I'd waited so long
I just wanted to hear the phone ring
But at the end of the day there was no call
I just thought maybe, he was busy that day.
Now it's been 2 months,
Still, he doesn't even call
I feel bad every time others talk about him
I feel mad when they tease me to him
Now tell me is there any reason to cry?
Is it really love or infatuation?
Do I have a reason to feel this way?
Or maybe… I am just excited to feel it?