Follow Your Heart

Summary: 1-shot. Dean decides to follow some advice he was given recently when a night of emotions, worries and confessions sends him to Sam's room to both check on his brother and also to face what he's been hiding recently. (Dean/Sam) *Will have some spoilers from 11x11 Into the Mystic)

Pairing: Dean/Sam

Warning: The usual for language and explicit content.

Tags/Spoilers: Not tagged to but happens after and will contain some spoilers from 11x11 Into the Mystic.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author Note: The muse decided it liked schmoop and sap this week it seems so hopefully you guys enjoy this one.

~SPN SPN SPN SPN~

"'Follow your heart.'"

"'When was the last time you watched a sunset without waiting for something to jump out?'"

"'All that matters is that we're together.'"

"'I don't get it. If Banshees prey on the vulnerable, why go after you?'"

Dean Winchester sat up on the side of his bed, scrubbing both hands back through his short hair in a frustrated gesture while hearing bits and pieces of conversations from earlier.

He hadn't been expecting the damn wailing bitch to target him. But as he sat there now, the hunter guessed he should've been.

"Sonuvabitch," he muttered before pushing to his feet, head still hurting from earlier while his stomach was turning from a sickness he knew wasn't physical.

The case hadn't quite turned out like Dean had planned but he was happy that it got Sam to open up a little about what he'd been hiding and he hoped they'd crossed another bridge to repairing any damage left open between them from past mistakes.

Dean had meant it when he'd told Sam that he'd long since forgiven him for what happened while he'd been in Purgatory. He'd also meant that nothing mattered so long as they were together.

He could still hear Mildred telling him about sunsets, about following his heart and even the whole bit about pining for someone.

Pausing outside of his brother's door, Dean lifted his hand to knock but stopped. He knew Sam hadn't been sleeping well since confronting Lucifer so if he had managed to fall to sleep that night then Dean hated to wake him up; especially over something that could very easily turn into a huge chick flick moment.

Dean leaned against the wall, hand flat on the door while giving the kind, if a little too hands-on, older woman's words another thought.

"I've been following my heart since the first time I held him in my arms," he whispered to the empty hall, closing his eyes as Sam's eyes came to him and Dean guessed he might be pining for someone. Except he knew he didn't have to 'pine' for the person he loved; all he had to do was open a door.

What had made him perfect Banshee bait was also clear to him and while some might think the bond with Amara, the bond that he feared was making him vulnerable to her or the threat she might pose to his brother, might be making him pine for her, Dean knew those were two totally separate issues; issues that he had to tell Sam about and tell him soon.

"Tomorrow," he decided and had just started to move, to head for the kitchen and strong coffee since Dean feared if he went for anything stronger than coffee or beer that he might not stop and that was a path he didn't want to go down again. "I'll tell him…huh? Sam?"

The soft sound from the other side of the door had Dean's inner big brother radar going off so without knocking he opened the door just enough to peer in with a gentle smile, the one smile that Dean only gave to his brother, curving his lips he stepped into Sam's room.

Dean noticed the low light on across the room which made him consider the last time his brother hadn't wanted to sleep without a light on but what had caught his attention the most was the bunched up covers and the way Sam laid with his arm outstretched…like he would since they'd been boys sharing a room and Sam would always sleep facing Dean's bed with his arm outstretched.

"Follow my heart, huh?" he murmured to himself softly as he knelt to take the outstretched hand into his own, immediately feeling warm fingers close around his even as sleepy but still too worried hazel eyes opened to stare at him.

"Mildred said the secret to a happy life was following my heart, little brother. I told you that nothing else mattered so long as we were together," Dean paused, letting the fingertips of his other hand reach up to gently stroke down Sam's cheek before offering a slow smile. "Both of those things are one in the same because so long as I have you, I'm following what's in my heart."

Sam hadn't been sleeping well that night either. He still heard Lucifer but he was also still seeing the confusion shining in his brother's eyes when they realized he was the Banshee's target and not Mildred. Sam had his own worries as to what that had been so he guessed in his somewhat restless sleep he must have been calling out as well as tossing restlessly before it clicked that not only was Dean in his room but what his brother was saying.

The low light in the room made seeing difficult but Dean was close enough that Sam could see the worry on his brother's rugged, tired face as well as in his eyes. Though what had caught Sam's still sleepy attention was the deeper tone of voice Dean had right then and then his words.

The deep, husky, whiskey and honey coated tone of voice that Sam had grown up loving to hear told him that his brother's emotions were already open but when Dean admitted that to him following his heart was done so long as they were together the younger man could only swallow the lump in his throat.

"You are in my heart until I finally buy it, Sammy," Dean pushed up so he was sitting on the edge of the bed, keeping Sam's hand folded in his while Sam rolled to his back to stare up at him silently. "I'm hoping your wrong about not living long enough to retire but I guess guys in our line of work really don't," he let his other hand move from Sam's face down to the center of his chest, letting it rest there. "It's odd where a couple years ago I was giving you the 'I'm a grunt speech' and you were still seeing lights at the end of the tunnel. Now, you're giving me talks about going out in a blaze of glory…with Bon Jovi playing in the background, if we're lucky…and I find myself wondering what retirement might be like."

"Boredom," Sam murmured, voice barely above a whisper as if afraid if he spoke too loud that he'd either wake himself up or whatever this was would go away. "You'd be bored to tears in a week if we ever lived to retire in a place like that."

"Yeah, more than likely," Dean agreed easily, letting his hand turn to touch Sam's palm and wondering when it just became second nature for his brother to respond by spreading his fingers so they meshed with Dean's. "I think I know why she went after me, Sam. I…I want to tell you what I probably should've right from the start but I…don't want you to freak out or start to get scared."

"You do know when you start a conversation like this that it automatically scares me, right, Dean?" Sam countered but held on tighter when he felt Dean start to let go; his other hand moving to grab for his brother's t-shirt. "You don't get to kick the no chick flick moments rule to the curb, tell me what you just did in that tone and then start to pull back.

"You say I'm in your heart well that goes both way, Dean. I've been following my heart, following you since you taught me to walk," he said and felt Dean go still but also felt the grip on his hand tighten while Sam started to sit up only to stay where he was when Dean's other hand that had still been on his chest gave a gentle push back. "I admitted earlier that I couldn't do this, I wouldn't do this, hunting, without you and it's come to the point where I've accepted that if and when we go out in that blaze of glory with Bon Jovi playing in the background it will be together."

Slowly letting their eyes meet, Sam watched Dean frown as if considering that and still knew in his heart that his brother would try to protect him; just like Sam would in return. "Tell me what's got that muscle in your jaw twitching," he reached up to lightly touch the side of his brother's face and knew the moment when Dean turned to press a kiss against his palm that they'd gone past emotional walls that Sam never thought they would. "Tell me what you haven't and then let me help you with whatever it is."

Dean considered this for a moment before nodding and slowly explaining to his now wide awake brother about Amara, about the mark she carried, about the so-called link they seemed to share and about the times he'd failed to kill her.

"If she's right about us being bonded, if that link or whatever is why I couldn't kill her or why she didn't suck me dry that day, if…I'm right about not being sure I can resist that link then I'm vulnerable to her," he took a shaky breath without realizing that sometime in the course of explaining to Sam what had been happening that they'd ended up lying on Sam's bed facing one another with hands slowly touching as if reassuring each other. "If she's right about coming to one another's aid then…what if I won't let anyone kill her? What if in the end, I'm the Achilles heel in defeating her? What if…"

"Woulda, coulda, shoulda," Sam murmured while letting his fingers run over Dean face until he felt some of the tension easing. "Bobby and Pastor Jim always used to say that there would always be things that we wished we would've done, or could've done or should've done. It's the same with what if scenarios, Dean. They'll always be a million of them but it's what you or I or in this case what we do that makes the difference.

"In that old hospital when we confronted Amara, when she tossed my ass out into the hall, you broke her hold enough to try to kill her so that shows that while she does have a hold on you somehow that you can still break it…if you have a good enough reason," he went on but decided against mentioning what that reason might have to be.

"Yeah, you might be vulnerable to her. Okay, so we just make sure the next time you see her, that I'm there because there's a bond that's a lot stronger than any she thinks she might have with you," Sam placed his hand over his brother's beating heart while reaching to place Dean's over his. "So long as these beat? I've got her trumped because my bond as your brother, as your partner, as your lover will always be stronger than some damn mark some spoiled, self-absorbed pre-biblical bitch might have," he stated firmly and with just a little more heat than Sam usually ever put into his voice.

Dean blinked in surprise at not only Sam's words but also the slightly edgier tone his brother had gotten when speaking about Amara and whatever 'link' might have been formed between them when her cage was unlocked. He hadn't heard that tone from Sam in a long time; not since Sam was 16 and pissed off over some girl he thought Dean was getting too serious over.

"Maybe we should get a couple new tattoos or something?" Dean decided to try to lighten the sudden heaviness he could feel building when Sam suddenly frowned. "That was a joke, dude. I love you and I agree with everything you just said but we are not getting matching tattoos or anything else just to…huh. Now that might be another matter entirely."

Sam knew Dean had been joking as a way to relieve the sudden heaviness that had started to creep up but something just suddenly hit the younger Winchester; something he'd been putting off until he found just the right moment and right then seemed to be the best time that he'd ever get to do this.

Shifting one long arm back while Dean was still speaking, Sam easily pulling open a drawer on his nightstand and quickly located what he kept there; holding it out and watching the sudden change that not only came over his brother's face but also his voice the second he saw the small bronze item that hung from Sam's fingers.

There were many things in his life, especially the last five or six years, that Dean regretted or felt like kicking his own ass over. The worst of those was the day Dean let all the crap, the lies, the games played on them from both Heaven and Hell to come between him and Sam and he lost faith in their bond.

The day Dean threw away the small horned bronzed amulet that his brother had given him one Christmas many years earlier was the moment that still haunted his dreams. That little amulet had been the one thing that Dean had worn constantly except for when his deal had come due or when Castiel had asked to borrow it to find God.

He'd never removed it…until the day came that he let it fall into a trashcan in some gaudy motel. That was the biggest thing Dean regretted and the one he knew he could never take back…until he looked to see what his brother had grabbed and was holding out.

Dean might not agree to ever get a tattoo other than their anti-possession ones but when he lifted a hand slowly to allow the amulet, his amulet, to drop into his palm he suddenly realized what he would wear.

Sitting up, he slipped the black cord back on over his head to allow the amulet to fall against his chest and suddenly Dean felt a weight he hadn't even been aware of lift away as the more familiar weight of his amulet settled back against his chest.

"I'll ask you tomorrow over lunch why you've had this and never said anything before now," he began in a tone hushed with raw emotion as Sam's fingers lightly touched the amulet like he had so many times before.

"I wasn't sure if you were ready to take it back before now," Sam replied while trying to cover how much seeing the amulet hanging back around Dean's neck, being able to touch it again was affecting him when suddenly he looked up. "What happened to breakfast?" he asked only to gasp when his mouth was suddenly caught in a searing hot kiss that took his breath away.

"I don't think we're making it to breakfast, Sammy," Dean said after he broke the kiss to allow them both to breathe before gently teasing Sam's bottom lip with his teeth. "In fact, if you play your cards right, we might not actually see the outside of this bedroom until dinner and then I might actually cook."

Sam groaned as his bottom lip was drawn into Dean's mouth to be sucked on slowly. "Umm, are we at least agreed that you'll let me help you with this thing with Amara?" he asked while helping with the removal of his t-shirt.

"Yes, we're agreed that I belong to you just like you belong to me and no one ever gets between that," Dean nodded, proceeding to make short work of the rest of their clothes before stretching back out beside his brother to begin to slowly kiss him. "Since you gave me the amulet…again, I guess I need to get you something in return," he had a hunch what that might be even as he was saying it since he'd noticed a nervous little habit Sam had picked up again recently and knew it might be time to do some returning of his own.

"I don't need anything to prove that because I know who I belong to, Dean," Sam figured half of what had been said that night would never be repeated, much less acknowledged again so he'd say what he felt needed to be said then. "Just like I know that either we'll face retirement together or…"

"Blaze of glory, little brother," Dean murmured but decided to try to put that worry on the backburner for the moment and proceeded to make love with Sam slowly, passionately but without haste or heat.

It never failed to stun Sam the ways his brother could still surprise him, either on a job or in the bedroom. That night he'd honestly expected heat, speed and demanding kisses and touches as that was often how Dean reacted if they had sex after an incredibly emotional time.

Considering how deep and emotionally charged this latest talk had taken them, Sam had been certain when his brother got around to the making out part of the night that things would progress quickly. He'd been shocked when that didn't happen and Dean proceeded to make slow, almost gentle, love with him.

"It not always about speed and need, Sammy," Dean had caught the brief look of confusion on Sam's face one time when he'd glanced up from taking his time to kiss his way down his brother's chest and back up. "Making love is also about following the heart and tonight my heart wants to watch you come apart in my arms as I make love to every part of you."

"Fuck!" Sam groaned and knew now why Dean said they might not see the outside of the bedroom before dinner; his brother could be a man of his word and Sam knew when Dean said this that he meant it.

Nights like this, times like this Sam was usually torn between never wanting it to end and choking his brother because while Dean never denied his need for climax, the younger man always preferred when they could share those moments.

Dean's patience which had always been notoriously short at any other time seemed endless on nights when he decided to take his time with their lovemaking. His touch was never rough, never hurried as he would use his hands and mouth to make love to Sam's body until his brother was finally at the end of both patience and endurance.

"Dean…" Sam murmured when he was able to find words again after he'd orgasmed for the third time but not how he wanted to. "Please. I…God, that mouth needs to be labeled lethal when you do that…I want to feel you come inside me the next time," he groaned at the feel of hot lips sliding along his spent cock after they'd both taken time to breathe, drink water that Sam still wasn't certain when his brother had gone to get and gather strength again before Dean returned to making Sam's body come alive under his skilled touch. "De'n…"

The dropped letter had deep green eyes lifting to take in the blown wide with lust and need hazel eyes, sweat soaked dark hair that looked a mess from frustrated fingers bring raked through it since Sam's fingers couldn't grab Dean's hair because of how short he kept it.

It was never Dean's intention when he slowed things down like this to intentionally drive his brother crazy or make him want or beg for anything. In fact, he never liked it when Sam felt the need to beg even when he did hold off on letting him come but there were reasons for when Dean chose to make love slowly, letting Sam come repeatedly before giving him the final climax that they both desired by this point.

Pulling off of Sam's slowly hardening cock with a wet pop, Dean moved back up the bed to catch his brother's worn out face between his palms to kiss him deeply; this time letting more heat enter the kiss while also allowing his tongue to plunge deep into the mouth that welcomed him to play with Sam's tongue.

"Tired now, Sammy?" he asked in between kisses, gently nibbling on Sam's well kissed bottom lip. "Think once we're done, you'll sleep for me?"

"Huh? Sleep? What? You…" Sam's eyes had been in the process of rolling back in his head at the feel of Dean's fingers gently squeezing his balls before once again sliding back to check if the ass that he'd skillfully and thoroughly opened earlier was still stretched enough when they suddenly snapped open to stare into his brother's smirking face. "You did this, all of this; drew this out like you have just so I'd…damn it, Dean."

Sam wanted to be angry. He wanted to remind Dean that he wasn't a kid anymore that needed distracted or worn out in order to sleep but even as those words were on the tip of his tongue, Sam knew he had needed the distraction. He hadn't been able to work past either the incident with Lucifer or the uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach that something else was wrong.

"I've been your big brother longer than we've been anything else, Sammy. I know you. I know what you need when things get to the point where I wake up to find you cleaning guns or unwilling to leave the bunker," Dean began as he laid light kisses along his brother's frowning lips until slowly he felt Sam start to relax again and smile. "So yeah, I tortured both of us just so I could get you to the point where you'd be relaxed enough to sleep once we're done," he suddenly caught a handful of hair to give it a gentle tug until he knew he had Sam's attention fully. "Now, do you want me to stop or do you want me to give you what you want?"

"If you even think of stopping or trying to get out of my bed, I will hide all those cassette tapes you insist on hanging onto and there will never be kinky sex between us for at least six months," Sam shot back, hands moving to grab for his brother just on the off chance that Dean was serious when he heard the deep husky laugh that still could heat his blood. "Dean…hmm," his words were cut off buy Dean's next kiss.

"Bossy," Dean chuckled but knew he'd pushed them both to the limit and knew it was time to stop playing so with a final heated kiss he pushed up until he was on his knees. He gave a brief thought on how to do this when Sam took the decision out of his hands when he pulled long legs up so he could grab his ankles. "Love you, Sammy," he murmured into the next kiss before reaching for the bottle of lube he'd used earlier to coat his already slicked cock up more.

"I know," Sam returned in a voice that he had to work to control as he wasn't expecting to hear those words this soon.

Sam knew the only times his brother would openly say those words that didn't include times when one of them might be dying was when they were like this. Being intimate like this had always seemed to allow Dean to share and express emotions that he'd been taught by their father to hide while Sam had always worn his heart on his sleeve.

"Dean?" he waited until his brother's eyes lifted to meet his to reach a shaking hand out so he could touch the amulet before touching the spot over Dean's heart. "Love you too. Now can you please fuck me?"

"No, but I will make love with you," Dean correctly smoothly and proceeded to do just that.

He'd made sure Sam was stretched enough to take him but the extra lube would also ensure a smooth entry. From the first time they'd crossed the line from brothers to lovers, Dean had made it plain to his brother that regardless of anything else that what was between them would always be something more than simple 'fucking'.

Normally Dean didn't care to give a name to what was happening. He'd never when he fooled around in school or the few flings he'd had since growing up or at any other time in his life. With Sam though he felt totally different and to him, unless it was one of those rare times when anger and emotion had been pushing them both to dark places, he never allowed that word to come into play to describe what they did.

Sam's body despite the times he'd already climaxed that night was on edge again. His cock had been getting hard thanks to Dean's mouth but as he'd watched his brother's fingers pour lube on them and then slick his own cock before reaching for Sam, he was now fully hard and dripping again.

"Wanna come with you this time, Dean," he said while chewing his bottom lip, fighting to keep his hands on the bed and off his cock. "Just…"

"Bossy," Dean repeated but understood his brother's frustration; he felt the same only his frustrations were a bit more intense since while he made sure Sam climaxed as often as his brother had needed…he hadn't allowed himself that same relief. "I promise I'll give you what we both want, baby boy."

The added nickname made Sam shudder as it was the one and only nickname his brother used when they were like this. It was another way that he'd learned years ago his brother expressed his feelings for him without actually using the words.

Dean took as much time as he thought he could spare or that he thought Sam would give him to get his angry, engorged, and weeping cock into his brother's ass without either going too fast or coming at the first feel of still slightly tight inner muscles sheathing him.

"Son of a bitch!" he gritted and had to dig the fingers he'd used to grip Sam's hips to squeeze tighter when he felt his impatient brother start to move. "Sammy, I know you're at the end of your rope but if you make me hurt you during this I will not be happy. Just give me a few more seconds…"

Sam was tired, he was on edge and beyond impatient. He wanted to feel his brother when he came and he wanted to see Dean's face as it happened but he also wasn't stupid. The ragged tone of voice he heard warned him that Dean was just as desperate as he was now but was still fighting his body's desires to claim him quickly.

"Not a girl…jerk," he muttered and used that teasing insult right then just because he knew his brother would never use the normal comeback right then.

Dean's green eyes were now nearly all pupil when he looked up to shoot Sam a look that reminded the younger Winchester of where he learned his best bitch face in the first place. "No, you're not…" he stopped as if considering it but then smirked as Sam smiled. "You're just mine and that's what matters to me. Now, hang on because I doubt if this will take long for either of us."

Sam went to roll his eyes when he felt Dean give one last solid thrust and then swore something exploded behind his eyes because he felt his brother's cock hit his prostate just as Dean came flush with his ass.

His arms were starting to shake from gripping his ankles so tightly when Sam heard Dean telling to let go and relax, which he did at the same time as he felt his brother's hips start to thrust a little faster. "Dean!"

Each thrust Dean made he was certain to hit Sam's prostate. He was balancing himself on his arms above his brother so he gave a nod to let a fully stressed out Sam know that he could come when he was ready.

Dean was well past ready himself so when Sam's eyes locked with his, he leaned closer to whisper against his brother's ear before kissing him deeply; this kiss was all heat and need and it served to give both Winchesters the final push needed to share the mutual orgasm that Sam had been longing for all night.

Sam's cry of release was swallowed as they kissed, tongues playing hide and seek at the same time as their bodies moved to find release. The moment he felt warmth filling him served to make Sam's final climax all the more intense until he was seeing little white spots in front of his eyes and not sure if it was from the force of that or a lack of air until Dean broke the kiss.

The room was silent for the next while except for soft words whispered that neither would repeat outside of moments like this.

Dean could feel his arms burning from holding his weight fully off of his brother as he continued to try to help Sam milk this final climax to its limit but heard the soft whimper as Sam was now too sensitive to touch and moved his hand a second before he also caught a flash of white right before his brother's body went limp under him.

"Sam? Sammy?" he called, voice low, ragged from too much emotion and from the few times he'd sucked Sam off earlier.

A soft mumble was heard that reassured the worried hunter that finally his brother's body had just given in to the exhaustion he was feeling and he'd passed out. The soft, sleepy and sexed out little smile he saw curving Sam's lips told Dean that his brother wasn't hurt, just asleep and that reassurance allowed Dean to let his own climax run its course.

Dean's eyes were locked on Sam's peaceful face as he gave a couple slower thrusts before having to make sure he caught himself on his arms rather than drop on Sam's chest as his own body started giving out on him.

He eased out of Sam slowly, trying not to disturb his sleeping brother and went to ease to the side just to catch his breath when it seemed instinct took over and Dean was reminded that when sleepy or sleepy and sexed out his younger brother wanted to cuddle.

Sam's arms were already moving to try to find his brother when he seemed to sense the disconnection once Dean's cock was no longer where Sam's body thought it should be.

"Hmm, stay," he mumbled sleepily, rolling and reminding a frustrated and amused Dean how much like an octopus his brother had been as a baby and also right then when he managed to avoid the reaching arms until he grabbed something to wipe them both down enough that they could sleep.

"Yeah, yeah, octo-nerd, I'm staying with you," Dean chuckled and let Sam tug him back onto the bed but this time Dean made sure he was on the side facing the door; an old habit that he still kept to when they shared a bed either here or in a motel. "But just remember if you ever tell anyone that I cuddle with you, I will take a razor to that hair."

It was several more moments before Sam's brain was able to reconnect enough to open his eyes. He felt strong fingers gently carding back through his hair while he also felt the hard body pressed closed to him that told him Dean's other arm would be wrapped loosely over his shoulders.

"Thank you," he murmured, still fighting sleep but needing to tell his brother this one last thing before finally letting sleep and a body relaxed from sex pull him under.

"For what?" Dean was blank on this one, seeing Sam's eyes battling sleep as he lifted his head to look at him. "You know you never have to thank me for what we do. Making out with my hot as sin little brother isn't exactly a hardship."

A faint blush still colored Sam's cheeks at those words but he shook his head, meeting his brother's softer kiss. "For following your heart," he replied with a yawn, fingers closing over the amulet much like he had years earlier and feeling not only safe but also at ease. "Now and I hope always."

Dean took a slow breath in the hopes that the raw emotion he felt might not show too much on his face but he noticed Sam's eyes had drifted back closed while his brother shifted closer to him, head finding its usual spot between Dean's neck and shoulder to lay while his hand curled around the amulet.

"So long as this heart beats, little brother," he murmured quietly while placing a light kiss to the top of Sam's head before just laying there to watch his brother sleep like he would years earlier when the need to be sure Sam was safe before sleeping was just what Dean did.

Dean knew the coming days weren't going to be easy. He wasn't sure what would happen or how they would defeat Amara but as he watched Sam sleep, as he felt his brother relax against him both the hunter and the protective big brother knew that he would follow his heart, regardless of where it might take them.

The End