CHAPTER 1

Destiny was called upon thou

The aftermath of the attack on Firestar made me wonder. Perhaps I shouldn't have gotten involved. It would be better if I had just left the matter alone. After all, Firestar almost got killed because of my jealousy.

Everything was a spinning mess as explanations and recounts spilled out of every little part of me and the others. I felt tired and weak. I was probably sick to the core at my own actions and my own emotions. I knew I needed help. But I couldn't just stroll up to Leafpool like, "Hey there, I almost caused the death of your father, by the way I think I'm mentally and emotionally sick please send help. I feel like my world is flipped, spinned upside down and I like to take a minute just sitting right here to tell you how I got so wrong like what you see right here. (XD)"

Yeah that will work.

A sudden meow from Brambleclaw surprised me. My fur couldn't help but stand on end in a bristle, "Brambleclaw, what do you want?"

He seemed unsuspicious of anything wrong with me despite my fur bristling, "Is it alright to ask you to take a sunset patrol?" He meowed innocently.

"Fine." I managed to splutter out, "Who do you want me to bring?"

"Anyone." He dismissed easily.

"Which border?" I asked growlingly.

"Shadowclan." He glared before walking out of the warrior den and off towards Squirrelflight.

Growling to myself, I thought, why must I get so riled up by Brambleclaw? He did hurt me badly by stealing my potential mate but Squirrelflight broke my heart. I just started targeting my angry thoughts at him. Shaking my head and internally yowled, Starclan please help me! However, I didn't get any answer. Sighing, I brushed through the drapes of brambles (Ugh, the irony!) and started walking to a group of my clan mates.

"Hey Ashfur!" The echo of voices coming from the group blanked out all of my hearing and I felt like fainting as memories of Leafpool and Squirrelflight asking me what was wrong came back to me.

"Ashfur!"

I looked up at the voice that spoke out to me, I saw no one exactly looking out of the normalcy. But that voice seemed, eerie… As if someone from Starclan had spoken to me in my ear. "Hey Ashfur."

Brackenfur was looking at me questionably. Are you okay? He was asking with his eyes. I looked around and saw that the group of cats I had seen before had disappeared. What was wrong with me? "Hey Brackenfur. Um, Brambleclaw asked me to lead a sunset patrol would you like to come?"

I looked up at the sky, the sun was dangerously creeping towards the horizon darkening the skies above. Crimson blood colour clawed through the sky lighting the clouds with the misty colour of Hawkfrost's scarlet blood flowing through the river of where he died. I inwardly sighed and looked back at Brackenfur waiting for his answer, "Sure" He meowed cheerfully, "Would you like me to bring other cats?"

I sighed, "Sure, pick whoever I don't care. Meet me at the entrance."

I turned around from Brackenfur's searching eyes and dragged myself towards the entrance. I looked back at Brackenfur, he had picked himself up and had poked his head into the warrior's den searching for two poor cats to come accompany the most sadistic cat in the whole lake territories right now.

"Hey Ashfur!" I gasped in shock and surprise. I didn't even need to turn around to know. Stormfur and Brooke.

I looked around and saw Brackenfur walking along with Stromfur and Brooke, He stared at my shocked expression and explained, "The rest of the cats had already done much of their fair share of work." He glared at me as if willing me to shut up about what I thought about them.

I groaned inwardly but put up a straight face as I replied, "Um, hi?"

If they were suspicious of me at all, they didn't show it. "Hi! Thanks for bringing us along with you to a patrol." Stormfur dipped his head, "I know many don't trust us yet."

"I didn't invite you guys." I grumbled under my voice, making sure no one could hear, "Oh." I feigned surprise, as if I didn't know that cats in the clans didn't trust them yet.

"But we're trying to get their respect!" Brooke butted in, "We'll show the clan that they can trust us."

"Ah…" I meowed unsure of what to say. I thought maybe I should say something along the lines of, 'Well to me, you're not doing a real good job.' But I supposed that was a little harsh, "Um, you're trying at least?" I managed to stutter out.

"Thanks!" She grinned back clearly pleased at my response.

"Um! Patrol?" Brackenfur meowed amusingly, gesturing with his head to the sky. It was beginning to completely dip into the legendary sun-drown place.

"Uh yeah, forgot sorry." I replied.

As we walked out from the entrance, Stormfur asked, "So which border, Ashfur?"

"Well…" I pondered the question before answering, "Shadowclan, because they seem increasingly aggressive towards us since their attack on our border."

"We've got to make them know that Thunderclan is not to be messed with!" Brackenfur growled, lashing his tail, directing it at the hypothetical Shadowclan cats.

"Yeah…" I meowed slowly.

I took the time and sweet silence, walking towards the Shadowclan border to ponder about my life in detail. Many questions came up like, Why do I hate Brambleclaw for what Squirrelflight did? Why did I love that traitorous cat? Why? Why? And many more whys. Many questions erupted out of my head questioning these things but one stuck out truly. Why am I alive? Or more specifically, why do I exist? I sighed and wondered what I had to do to realise and unlock myself from the tangle of lies and confusions I surrounded myself in when I began falling for that spider named Squirrelflight.

"Hey Ashfur?" Brakenfur whispered into my ear.

"What?!" I growled, annoyed at the disruption to my thoughts.

He winced at my sharp tone but it was so subtle and quick to hide that it was barely noticeable to the normal eye. However I had a trained eye and I can see exactly through many cat's sorry attempts of hiding their displeasure and thoughts. "We're at the Shadowclan border…"

"Alright." I stifled a huff of annoyance, "Let's set the scent marks and check the border for any possible threat, from Shadowclan or despite of them."

They nodded and we silently agreed to split up along the border, yowling at possible threats while resetting the scent markers. I decided to head up the border, towards the greenleaf twoleg place where they light fires and burn their freshkill. Yuck. Burnt freshkill. What could taste any worse than burnt food? Since it was greenleaf, I decided to check if there were any twolegs there yet.

Poking my head through the ferns and brushes, I looked out into the clearing where the Twolegs would be. And sure enough, there were Twolegs. Not sure what they were doing. They seemed to be stumbling around like the stupid Twolegs they are while, uh, drinking from some type of drink bottle? It seemed to be see-through, however I didn't stick around to see any longer, the fumes from the drink and the fire made my eyes water and my tongue loll out naturally from the smoke of the fire making me too hot.

I decided to take a little lap at a puddle near me, under a massive tree, to cleanse my parch tongue. The cooling laps of water reinvigorated me as I let the water seep into my tongue and gulp down my throat. I was enjoying myself in the first time in a few moon or so. I shook the thoughts of being blinded by mad love and tried to make a good moment a great moment by not thinking about it.

But I failed. The rage built inside me like a border, broke loose. My emotions uncontrollable inside me as I glared down at the water. I felt like putting my head into the water and keeping it there until I drowned. And I would probably had done that if it weren't a puddle of water and rather a massive stretch of water. Like the lake…

I rushed back to the patrol meet up point. "Hey Ashfur!" Brackenfur called to me smiling, "No threats identified."

"Great thanks for the report. Now you can go back to camp." I shooed them away.

"Uh, what about you?" Stormfur asked blinking at me, confused.

"I'll catch up. Now go!" I insisted, gritting my teeth, wishing for them to hurry up.

"Ok… See you at camp." Brackenfur replied tilting his head in confusion.

After they left, I immediately ran down to the lake and stared at the massive stretch of water in front of me. The dark, night sky and the twinkling stars reflected off the lake's surface creating a beautiful pattern of stars across the body of water but I could care less. "I have nothing left, Starclan accept me." I whispered to the soft, crashing waves in front of me and up to the sky, plunging my head into the hungrily lapping waves and ripples of the lake. The cold shook me to the core but I really couldn't care. I wanted to die.

Suddenly, something or someone pulled me out of the water. Its strength in the pull felt weak however for some reason it pulled me out strongly and roughly. "Get up you big, fat oaf!" A random, high-pitched voice yowled to me through the water.

I eventually relent from the struggles I had put up to stay in the water. The water I had tried to drown myself in clouded my vision so all I could see was a blurry silhouette of a cat. A very small cat. A very small cat that is flying? Finally my vision cleared as the water dribbled out of my eyes and I could see clearly. A flying, fully, pure white, winged, tiny cat with her head tilted and her eyes closed with a cheerful smile directed at him. "Um, you're flying." I pointed out dumbfounded and completely creeped out.

"Huh?" She stared at me confused, as if this was a completely out of an ordinary question and that her wings were a normal feat and body part that it really didn't matter. "Oh! My wings!" She finally managed to understand.

Her eyes lit up with understanding, "Yes dumb dumb! What did you think I was going to ask about you?! Why you're so small?!" I growled back, rolling my eyes at her idiocy.

"That would be a good question, yes." She meowed back cheerfully unaware of my growing anger."

"What are you?!" I yowled out at her.

"Why I'm a pocket guardian!" She waited for me, probably for my eyes to light up with understanding and show to her that I completely knew what in Starclan a pocket guardian is.

"And what is that?" I pressed on, my voice lowered a little, but still tinted with anger and confusion.

She stared at me as if I had two tails. "You don't know?" She asked as if this was the first time anyone had ever asked her this, "A pocket guardian is a cat that needs to redeem him or herself for his or her crimes in her previous life and Starclan sends them to help a cat in dire need as well as prove that the pocket guardian has redeemed him or herself." She finally answers.

"What?!" I yowl in pure confusion, "So you're here to help me and somewhat? Or am I just going crazy and hallucinating before I die by drowning in water in reality?"

"HEY!" She meowed out high pitched and angrily in a, dare I say, cute way, "I'm real!"

"I didn't say you weren't." I quickly saved myself. The last thing I wanted to deal with was an angry she-cat, "So you're an evil cat?"

Her anger dissipated, replaced with sadness. She looked away wistfully not saying anything.

I deduced that her previous life was a sensitive topic and vowed not to talk about it, "What's your name?"

She smiled back, with a tint of longing sadness and regret, like she accepted an invisible apology, of bringing up her previous life, through the words I gave her. Her sadness soon gave way replaced with a cheerful smile. I knew however, completely unobtainable, hidden sadness was locked away inside of her body. She blew her white fur over her eye, revealing a hidden patch of a striking red fur, zig zagging under her white eye patch fur. The white fur she had blew over was sent flying behind her head, she replied with great cheer, "Why I'm Destiny! And yes! Starclan sent me to you to help you!"

A/N: I would say that Ashfur would have a 'not fond' view against Stormfur and Brooke for being either traitors to clan or outcasts of said clans. He just seems like the guy. And yes, I made a pop culture reference, woooo!