Discalimer: I do not own Seikon no Qwaser.
Come Polpi in Mare
1.
Mafuyu thought her sister had the ability to attract the most innocent creatures. Her eyes whispered secrets, they charmed with a look and lured with a raising eyebrow. Her smile teased and her words seduced kids into believing she was one of them, and the kids loved Hana. Hana could not say the same, but she didn't deny herself the chance to play with the little guests.
They were two hours into Katja's birthday party and she was watching Katja's classmates running around, following Hana's steps like bees after their queen.
"She doesn't look happy, does she?"
Sasha handed her a cup of coke and sat on the couch by her side. Mafuyu watched Hana reeling through the place with two little boys hanging on each leg.
"You know her. She never looks happy."
He grinned, and it brought her a feeling of satisfaction. Hana might be grudging almost every day, but Sasha was no different. Taciturn, detached, stoic. He and her sister were a perfect match, even their classmates were convinced that the duo was a couple. She never contradicted them, of course. It wasn't her place to tell as both Sasha and Hana ignored the rumors on their behalf, and she'd rather have the whole school believe that Sasha was in a relationship with her sister than having other girls following him around like those kids did with Hana.
"I was talking about my sister, Mafuyu."
Mafuyu looked for the birthday girl. She spotted her at a small table in a corner of the dining room. A blonde head surrounded by dark-haired heads. She was drawing with her best friends, Lulu and Elisa. Apparently, there was some issue going one among them, Sasha told her. One day Elisa had declared to the class that Katja was her best friend, and Lulu had burst out in tears. Katja had then confessed to him that Elisa was clingy and she had befriended Lulu because, 'the other kids didn't want to play with her because they didn't like her because she cried a lot'.
Mafuyu watched the two girls fight over who would lend Katja a yellow crayon. Katja picked a different color from the crayon box.
"She's fine, Sasha."
She swirled the coke in the plastic cup like one does with wine in a glass. She never liked those fizzling bubbles and drank her sodas flat. As she watched the black whirlpool and contemplated the idea of getting herself a teaspoon to help herself with the task, a body slumped next to her.
"Free at last."
Hana brought an arm to her forehead dramatically.
"It can't be that bad, can it?"
Her sister gave her a side glare, then snatched the cup out of her hands and sipped it. She made a sick face and stared at the liquid as if it had just offended her mouth. Mafuyu wondered why she even grabbed it if she knew of her taste preferences.
"Where are they off to?"
"The kids? I told them there was a pack of gummy bears hidden inside the house."
Hana finished the drink and nipped at the plastic edge of the cup seemingly innocent.
"That's awful. Why would you do that?"
"They pulled my pants down. I just redirected their excitement somewhere else."
"What do you think will happen when they find out there are no gummy bears?"
"Who said there aren't?"
Hana took Mafuyu's hand and led it just above her crotch. Mafuyu felt a bag of gelatinous consistency under her waistband.
"They'll never gonna find them."
In that moment a young boy approached them and asked politely if he could check under the cushions of the couch.
"It's not here, Giorgio."
The boy shifted his weight on his feet, looking like he had something else he wanted to say. His gaze moved between Mafuyu and Hana.
"What is it, Giorgio?"
"Why are your eyes like that?"
Mafuyu smiled as his puffed cheeks reddened.
"Like what, Giorgio?"
He stretched the corners of his own eyes. "Like this?"
"Why, that's exactly how my sister and I got them."
The boy flinched and dropped the act.
"We spent hours doing that when we were younger. Last thing we knew, we had almond eyes."
"Like Mulan?" He gasped.
Hana nodded, but Mafuyu knew her sister was not satisfied yet. She watched her lean toward him and whisper, "What people don't know is that we see things smaller. Like, when I look at you, you're really tiny. A little Smurf."
"That's not possible!"
He took a step back. Mafuyu placed a hand on Hana's knee which was promptly ignored as the girl stared predatorily at the boy.
"A little yummy Smurf."
Giorgio ran away, probably in search of his mother.
Hana snickered to herself and turned to Mafuyu. She found disapproval on her face and, begrudgingly, went looking for him.
Mafuyu smiled as her sister walked off, calling out for the youngster in the general squall of the place.
"She's terrible."
She addressed Sasha looking for complicity, but he showed no sign that he had been listening. His eyes were on Katja. They had followed her to where the toy box was, Lulu and Elisa still at her side. Some kids had joined them, their hands scavenging in the wooden case. Elisa tried to order them around. Tears formed in Lulu's eyes when Elisa grasped the plush doll she took and offered it to Katja.
"Yeah, I don't like Elisa either."
"They're just kids, and Katja seems more than capable of handling her." She spoke softly as they both witnessed his sister returning the doll to Lulu and comforting the girl with a hug.
Mafuyu wondered if placing a hand on his knee as she did with Hana would be a reassuring gesture or a pushing of boundaries. She wondered when she started to have these thoughts, or when did she become this self-conscious around her childhood friend.
"She is, isn't she?"
He looked at her. Bright, wide, proud eyes. She lowered hers. For the first time since the party started the tension ever present in his body eased off his shoulders. As her hands squeezed around the empty cup in her lap, Mafuyu felt it migrating on hers.
"Her teacher told my parents she's popular among boys."
He crossed his arms on his chest and scanned the room, glaring at the kids playing with the train set, at the kids running around, at those busy with a fervid treasure hunt and at those feeding themselves off sandwiches and chips from the table.
"She is pretty. You have good genes in your family." So very subtle, she complimented herself. "Hana said you're going out tonight." She dropped casually, hoping that he would ignore the last comment.
"Can you believe that? She's four and she already has eyes on her."
Mafuyu wondered why did she even bother to try.
"I'm gonna have a refill."
She stood up and strode to the kitchen where the parents were. Her parents, Sasha's parents, everybody's parents. All in circle, all leaning against the top of the counters, all with real glasses in their hands and formal smiles that came with meeting new people. Katja's birthday was one of the first to be celebrated in her kindergarten class.
She met her mother's eyes. Her parent was chatting with a red-head in a tight cocktail dress. Not the kind of dress one would wear at a kids party, but she didn't have any man at her side. A single mother out for a hunt of her own, perhaps. She was signed to come closer. As she walked, she felt the other woman studying her.
"This is Mafuyu. Mafuyu meet Mrs. Boriello."
Her mother put a hand on her lower back to push her forward. It reminded Mafuyu of the time when she used to do that to straighten her back.
"Hello, Mafuyu." The woman stretched her hand out. "Your mother was telling me you're a classic dancer."
"Mrs. Boriello here works for the fashion industry. She's a talent scout."
Mafuyu wasn't aware that her mother has ever been interested in fashion, but it explained the woman's taste for clothing and why it felt like she was walking down a runway. She squeezed her hand harder than necessary.
"Surely, there is a wide choice of fresh talents here."
She felt her mother tensing her grip on her waist, but Mrs. Boriello's amused smile told her that her humor was appreciated for once.
"Actually, I'm here with my daughter Elisa."
"Katja's best friend, right? She's lovely."
Mrs. Boriello looked pleased to hear that her bossy daughter had made real friends, and that she was lovely.
"We're about to set up the table for the cake." Mrs. Kurae joined them. She looked tired behind her make-up, a woman who spent the last days making arrangements and cooking for her daughter's party. "Mafuyu, can you tell Hana that there's tray with her muffins on the fridge? I'm sorry I couldn't do more."
"Maria, you didn't need to worry. You always do so much for Hana," her mother said with grateful eyes.
Mrs. Kurae touched her friend's shoulder. She understood her gratitude, but considering their lifelong friendship, Kaori shouldn't feel obliged to thank her for something as little as taking care of Hana's food intolerance.
"It's okay. I'll bring it to her," Mafuyu cut in.
With a last look at the two of them, Mrs. Kurae flew off to separate their husbands from an animated conversation, a mix of football and politics.
"She won't eat the cake?" Mrs. Boriello inquired.
"Hana's celiac disease. Maria made her gluten-free muffins."
"Poor girl." The woman addressed Mrs. Kurae, "It must be difficult, especially on occasions as such."
"There's just lots of misinformation. Hana's been celiac since she was born. She knows her way around, and so do we."
Maybe she's been a tad rude, but while her sister pretended not to care, Mafuyu was tired to hear people combining curiosity and pity with no consideration. "Will you excuse me?"
She went to the fridge and took the tray. Her mother would reproach her at home. She knew that the moment she heard her parent apologizing for her behaviour. Once or twice she could deal with that, she considered as she returned to the dining room.
Hana was on Sasha's lap. He had an arm around her waist and his chest pressed against her back gently as he leaned forward to the gang of kids sitting on the floor before them. A bag of gummy bears was in his hand. Hana picked one.
"Alright. The first one who can tell me, 'what color Napoleon's white horse was?' wins this little friend here."
The kids gaped, watching them at lost. Some parents observing the scene chuckled while others arranged the table for the cake.
"Come on, guys. Napoleon's white horse, what color was it?" She said expectantly. Her eyes searched answers on their blank faces, searching, at least, comprehension. "Fine. Sasha, a little help?" She nudged him.
"It was-"
"White!" Elisa's voice raised above his.
"Yes, thank you. We have a winner."
Hana made a move to hand it over when Lulu stood up.
"That's unfair. Katja said it first."
"That's not true. You're lying."
Sasha watched his sister staring at her hands.
"Katja, did you say it first?"
"She did not!"
"Yes, she did!"
Fresh tears surfaced in Lulu's eyes. She would make a good friend, Mafuyu thought.
"Yekaterina."
He called her full name and his sister stirred, then nodded. He spoke again, foreign words, and Katja stumbled on her feet and advanced toward them. She took the gummy bear, but Hana didn't let it go. Mafuyu did not miss Sasha's knuckles whitening on the grip he had on her sister.
"You know, birthday-girl, I'm not sure I want to give it to you." She snatched it back, and cupped Sasha's hand.
Katja stared confused at them, then looked at her brother for a hint on what to do.
"Yellows are my favorite." Hana grinned. "I suppose I'll let you have the whole bag in exchange."
Sasha rolled his eyes and fell back with a smug smile on his lips. All the kids sprung up, staring fervently at the content of the bag in Katja's hands. They followed her as she walked away with a little blush on her cheeks. She pulled the gummy bears out, one at time, and distributed them to her friends, starting from Lulu.
That was how Hana won hearts, she just broke them a little first.
Mafuyu saw her sister whisper something in Sasha's ear. He laughed, and agreed to whatever she said. A joke, probably. She stopped to stare because the longer she did it the quicker her smile faded away. Hana jumped on her feet when she reached them. Sasha didn't follow. His hands were in his lap.
"My sweet love."
Hana grabbed a muffin and took a mouthful of it. She moaned lightly and cleaned the corner of her mouth, collecting the crumbles before licking them off her fingers.
"I don't know how your mother can make them this good," she told Sasha with her mouth full. More crumbles fell on the floor. "Mafuyu, you should have one."
"I'm fine," she said, leaving the tray with her and taking a seat on the edge of the couch.
Sasha chose that moment to stand up and come up beside Hana. They watched Mr. Kurae bring in the cake with four candles alighted on it. He placed it in the middle of the table, and the guests closed in around it.
Katja was on her knees on a chair, sparkles illuminated her eyes. She looked smaller behind the cake. She brushed a finger on the whipped cream and chortled at her mother's reprimand. Mafuyu thought that she shouldn't be nibbling at her lip, it was as bad as Hana eating her second muffin.
Someone thought better and intoned "Happy Birthday" before the kids had a shot at destroying the cake decorations, and soon everybody was singing along. Katja ended it with a big blow. Three candles out of four. Elisa finished the job for her. It caused a diplomatic incident where two adults intervened to separate Lulu from Elisa's hair and Katja from Elisa's shirt. Best friends, indeed.
They served the cake, and Mafuyu took a slice for herself. She ate one bite, then two. She heard her teacher's strict voice in her head. It counted the calories out for her, straight in her perfect posture. Her jaw would be clenched as she studied her physique. She could tell with a look whether she had gained or lost weight.
She wanted to know where Sasha and Hana would be tonight. Dancing was cutting her out of their lives, and even on a Saturday night she would stay at home, practicing. Doing better, day after day. She were told perfection didn't exist, but that was just an excuse people told themselves to not try harder. She would get there, one blooded pair of pointe shoes at a time.
Three bites of cake were enough. She placed the plate on the old chest by the entrance door. Hana came to her, munching, smelling of apple and cinnamon.
"You're not eating that?" She gave her a knowing look, a sad look.
"Sorry, Hana."
"You better be."
She smelled the cake. She did that with the food she could not eat. She never asked her why she tortured herself like that, but Hana seemed content with doing just that, as if by smelling it she could actually taste it.
"It smells good, but Maria's muffins are the bomb. And I'm not sharing them, unless you want me to. You want me to?"
"Not now, but I'll take one home." She was sincere, she would like to eat one.
"You can bring them all home." Hana swallowed the fourth muffin and patted the bulge where her stomach was. "I'm full, I think."
"You're not coming back?"
"Sasha suggested that I'd stay over. It saves us time since the pub is closer to his house than ours."
They watched him kneel before his sister and wipe the chocolate off her cheek.
"It was nice what you did. Giving Katja the bag."
"It's her birthday." Hana shrugged off.
"Or maybe, you're growing soft on her."
"Me? Soft on Katja?" She mocked. "But, speaking of the Kuraes, I'm not the one with the hots for one of them."
"Hana!"
Mafuyu stared in bewilderment at her sister.
"Relax. It's not like anybody can understand us."
Perhaps, it was a good thing that they spoke Japanese to one another. Their mother had forced that on them. She still insisted that they practiced their writing and reading daily. Hana liked that, she was fascinated with her mother's culture. As for herself, she felt more Italian as the years went by.
"Still, I don't like him that way."
Mafuyu turned around to avoid her eyes and found herself face to face with their friend. Katja was in his arms.
"What are you guys talking about?"
"You know, discussing the party. It turned out well, didn't it? Against your mother's expectation."
By Sasha's look, Mafuyu knew he didn't believe her.
"Right. We did have fun, though. Didn't we, Katja?"
He jolted her in his arm as if he could pull out an answer from her quicker.
"Thank you for your present," Katja babbled.
"You're very welcome."
She smiled warmly, noticing that the little girl's eyes were on Hana while her sister had hers anew on the muffins. She called her.
"What? I'm not eating another, I swear. Don't tell mum."
Mafuyu rolled her eyes.
"Katja was thanking us for our birthday gift."
"Cool. What did we get her?"
Katja's face faltered and she pushed away from her brother. Sasha put her down before she could fall and she ran off as soon as her feet touched the ground. They lost her when she entered the master bedroom.
"Did I say something wrong?" Hana asked baffled.
Mafuyu found Sasha's eyes and his sympathy. He gave her a small smile.
"I'll check up on her."
Before she realized it, she grasped his wrist. In her astonishment, she didn't let it go. She told him she would go see her in his place. Katja would probably like to hear from Hana's sister why Hana said what she said. He seemed to think about it, but nodded in agreement. She let go of his arm and walked away, feeling lighter on her feet.
The door of the bedroom was ajar, and she knocked twice before peeking inside.
Katja was on the bed. Her back toward the door, she faced the glass door leading outside the balcony. Something was in her hands, but she could not see what it was.
The sun was setting and the warm light colored the walls with orange and pink. Katja's white dress and her blonde hair captured most of it. She resembled a Jordan almond, pink like those that were given out to the visitors the day she was born. She remembered Hana complaining about them too. Her sister had expected to find chocolate, instead there were really almonds inside. Mafuyu closed the door and stepped forward.
She noticed the birthday presents on the dresser. Theirs was missing, and she guessed where it would be. She sat down next to Katja and gripped the rim of the mattress.
"I thought this was from Hana, too."
Mafuyu remembered inviting Hana, but her sister had been ranting at Lara Croft and turned her down.
"It is. She was busy with her homework, and I went to buy it with my mom."
She also clearly recalled telling Hana about Katja's present afterward.
"What homework?"
"School homework. You don't have them yet."
"I draw a pony for my teacher. She said it was homework," Katja said after a bit.
"Did she like it?"
The girl nodded. Her feet dangled above the carpet.
"How do you like our present?"
Katja watched the doll in the box. Her first plastic doll, the one she wanted. Mafuyu knew that, Sasha had told her about it.
"It's the one I wanted."
"Why don't we go out to play with it? I'm sure your friends want to see it, too."
Katja's voice broke a little. Mafuyu was not sure what she heard.
"When she comes here, she always plays with Sasha. Today she played with my classmates." Katja gazed at her with teary eyes.
"They probably play with your brother's PlayStation," Mafuyu told herself. "That's a toy for grown-ups."
"She chased Giorgio. Nobody likes Giorgio. He can count to fifty."
"Does Giorgio know what comes after that?"
Katja looked uncertain. Mafuyu told her.
"Now you know something that he doesn't."
The little girl giggled. Then, on second thought, "He says he likes me."
"That's nice of him."
Katja shrugged.
They stared out at the approaching night. The honks of the cars trapped in the traffic jam filtered in, rising from the road below. She liked the Kurae's place. It was a cozy condo by the seaside in an exclusive neighborhood, and the master bedroom had the best view, high above the sea.
The air there never smelled the same. The east wind brought a heavy note of rotten seaweed where they bathed on the foreshore. When the wind raised from South, she would find red sand, Sahara's sand, on the cars. It didn't stink then, but the temperature rose and her eyes often burned and itched. The best air came from North, fresh and salty sea smell. In those days the Kurae's windows were coated with a white grainy film. Hana and Sasha had tasted it when they were younger. They had spit it off the balcony immediately after.
"I think Hana doesn't like me."
Mafuyu heard the noises of the first guests leaving. They should be outside, saying their goodbyes.
"Hana has some unresolved issues that she needs to get over with."
Katja did not understand.
"It means she likes you. She just doesn't show it."
Katja traced her thumbs on the box. She wanted to open it.
"Maybe you can help her see that."
She found a slit in the plastic box and pulled at the rim. She unwrapped the doll and discarded the torn box. It was a Barbie. She hadn't expressed which one she wanted, and Mafuyu had picked a Holiday Barbie. It wore a long velvety purple dress with a matching shrug.
Staring at the doll and at Katja's outfit, Mafuyu deduced that Maria cared deeply about her daughter's appearance. She remembered her coiled enthusiasm when she had announced that she was carrying a girl. She and Hana had never worn clothes of the likes of Katja's. Their parent never cared. She wondered if it mattered to Katja. She wondered whether she would develop into a natural classy woman as her mother.
Mafuyu heard the quick pacing of Katja's footsteps exiting the room. She collected the box from the floor and placed it among the other presents.
Back in the dining room, she saw Katja showing the doll to Hana. She pointed out at something on its dress, and Hana smiled. For once, her sister seemed interested in what their little friend had to tell.
She went to the table to pile up the dirty plates before bringing them to the kitchen.
"Can I help you with that?" Sasha startled her.
"That's a first coming from you." She stared at him with suspicious eyes.
"What can I say?" He leaned against the furniture and watched her collecting the plastic cutlery. "I like to make myself useful."
"No, you don't."
"No, I don't, but consider this a thank-you for going after my sister." He tilted his head toward the couch. "Whatever you did, it worked."
She followed his gaze. Katja was commenting her new toy with Elisa and Lulu.
"She's gonna miss you," he stated when his sister raised her eyes and smiled widely at them.
"Don't say that. She's got you and Hana."
"Yeah, I recommend her Hana."
They watched Hana peer suspiciously at her surroundings while approaching the muffins tray. He poured himself a glass of coke.
"Besides, you speak as if I already passed the admission exam. We don't know-"
"I know you will." He took a plastic teaspoon and swirled it, then handed the glass to her before taking one for himself.
Mafuyu sipped her drink. It fizzled too much for her taste, but she drank it anyway.
"She's very fond of you," he said, staring at nowhere.
"I'm very fond of her, too," she said, staring at him.
"Do you think, you want to hang out with us tonight?"
Mafuyu watched the bottom of her empty glass. His was still full. She watched the cake on the chest, then Hana, sneaking a fistful of muffin in her mouth. Their mother came in from the kitchen. She saw her scowl and step forward toward her sister. Hana grabbed a napkin and spit the content of her mouth on it. Mafuyu eavesdropped her parent's reprimands. Hana kept her head bowed. She nodded once, twice. When her mother left, Hana looked in her way, making signs with her hands, che rompicoglioni.
Mafuyu watched the cake on the chest. She had left it for a reason.
"I'd like to, Sasha. Very much so," she said to nowhere.
He did not ask her twice. She supposed she's been pretty clear in her answer. Hana would have insisted until she snapped.
"Alright."
He took their glasses, then walked off toward the kitchen.
Mafuyu watched him leaving. She felt the bubbles still needling her throat. She wouldn't have minded if he'd asked twice. The cake reminded her that she had more important matters on her hands than a crush on her friend.
They were the last to leave Katja's party, and she was the first to enter the elevator after her father. Her mother stayed behind on the threshold, saying her goodbyes to Maria.
She noticed her father checking his watch nervously. He cleared his throat.
"There's still time, dad."
"It's rush hour, and I need to get me some beers."
Kaori stepped into the elevator and he pushed the button immediately.
"How embarrassing. You didn't let me say my goodbyes properly."
One floor down, four to go. Mafuyu thought her mother could have waited until they got home before starting.
"You shook her hands and kissed her cheeks." Nicola checked his watch again. "You even hugged her."
"Yes, mom. There's no need to do all three things."
Her mother stared impassible at the closed doors, but her voice was severe.
"You better say nothing, Mafuyu. How you addressed Mrs. Boriello earlier... I did not raise you to be disrespectful."
"She was being disrespectful to Hana! I was just defending my sister." She kept her voice low.
"What Mrs. Boriello said proves what kind of person she is." Her mother whispered what on any other occasion would come out as a shouting. "As for Hana, I'm concerned about her food addiction."
"Those were mini muffins, mom."
"I believe she's gaining weight."
"She's growing, Kaori. It's not Hana we should be worrying about," her father rebuked.
He was the first to flee the elevator when they reached the ground floor.
In the car they drove in silence. Her mother had not said a word on his remark. Nicola let his wife take almost every decision concerning the raising of their daughters, but every now and then he would make a comment about something he didn't agree on.
When Mafuyu told him that she would try the admission exam at La Scala, he did not say anything. She was fifteen and she would go living in a boarding school in Milano. He only agreed because he knew how important it was for her, how committed she felt, how many sacrifices she had done and how many more she was willing to do. Hana, on the other hand, had had a major breakdown at the news.
In the streets they heard the first pre-match honks. National flags hung proudly from the balconies. Those were only exposed when gli Azzurri played. Patriotism and nationalism only meant something when the National Soccer Team played. Otherwise, the flags would be folded and forgotten in some drawers until the next match. They stopped at an alcohol store. Her father came back with two large Peroni.
At home, he turned on the television, uncorked the first bottle and flopped down on the couch. Soon, Kaori would join him, keeping him company before drifting off to sleep throughout the match.
Mafuyu walked into her room and closed the door behind her. She undressed and changed into a pair of leggings and a top. She looked for her yoga mat and found it under a pile of Hana's clothes. She unfolded it and did her stretching, then she turned the music on and went to the ballet barre in front of a wall mirror.
She lifted her body on a foot and stretched the other leg behind, keeping the pose for ten seconds before a roar in the neighbourhood made her lose her focus. Italy had scored. She did some plieu to refresh her legs and took quick steps on her toes from one end of the barre to the other.
She watched herself in the mirror. Her shoulders looked tense, and she tilted her head right and left. She took a deep breath in and stared at her waist. She should not have eaten that cake.
She crossed her feet. She still pictured herself tearing flowers off the ground with her hand when she bent down before straightening her back and arm above her head. One day it'd be nice if Sasha would present her a flower bouquet. Feet flat, hand on the barre, she brought her right leg up. She remembered with a smile Hana jumping to high five her foot above her head. She was letting herself lose concentration. She brought her leg down, then raised it again and rotated her hips to move it in a circle. She would pass the exam.
She left the barre and exercised freely in front of the mirror. She watched herself until she was not watching anymore. Head high, she pirouetted in their room with her eyes locked on her future.
She stopped when her feet first and then her arms felt sore. Her gaze fell on a picture of Sasha and Hana. He was grinning with his arms crossed on his chest and a basketball ball at his feet. Hana was behind him, hugging him, her hands in a victory sign. That had been the last match her sister and Sasha played together. They were thirteen. He quit playing soon after, and so did Hana.
Mafuyu took the frame and sat on the bed. Her heart still paced. She thought Hana's dream was to become a basketball player. Apparently, it was not. Her sister still wouldn't talk about why she dropped practicing her favourite sport. Hana had not touched a ball in the last two years.
She caressed Sasha's cheek. He punched a teammate because he was trying to peek inside the girls locker room. Things went downhill after that. Hana joined him when two other boys attacked Sasha and they were disqualified from the tournament. Sasha said he would not play for that team anymore. Hana probably did not like to play without him.
When she woke up, Hana was sitting next to her feet, taking her shoes and leggings off for her.
"Thanks," she mumbled.
Hana removed delicately her bandages and the band-aids off the blisters. She hissed when she did that, and Hana apologized quietly. When her sister exited the room, Mafuyu stared at her feet.
They were not the prettiest. She had callouses under her toes. The blisters bleeded often and, if she forgot to cut her nails, one would draw blood to the closest toe. Her feet would never be the prettiest and nobody except for Hana knew how they looked. She pulled off her top and sports bra. There were marks too under her breasts. She noticed Hana had placed the frame back on the bookshelf.
Her sister returned with a new set of band-aids. She pulled open a drawer and took an emollient oil and ointment for her blisters. Mafuyu leaned back down on the bed and pulled her legs up, allowing Hana to sit and take her feet in her lap.
"You want me to massage your legs too?" She questioned with her eyes focused on disinfecting her wounds.
Mafuyu grimaced when the cotton wool brushed her cuts.
"Aren't you tired?"
Hana gazed in her way. "You're my sister." The only explanation she would ever give her.
She attended to her blisters before starting to massage her feet with emollient oil. Mafuyu closed her eyes.
"My calves will do."
She rolled over on her belly and Hana soothed her muscles until the back of her knees, rubbing her thumbs in circles for all the length of her calves. Mafuyu crossed her arms under her chin and heard Hana chuckle when she sighed.
"I wonder, shall I teach Sasha how to give you one of these?"
She stiffened up under her fingers.
"Relax, I'm just kidding."
"Tell me about your night, will you?"
"My night. My night is another night where you should've come with us."
Hana rolled her thumbs on her heels, and she followed her lead, turning on her back. Her sister took care of the front of her sore legs as she did with their back.
"Tell me about your night, Hana."
"We met up with Luca and went to La Taverna to watch the match. No free seats, and we stood in the crowd with our heads up. I could hardly see the TV, but I smelled all kinds of deodorants and cigarettes." She turned up her nose. "They also sold this terrible fair-trade coke. I have nothing against fair-trade commerce but, you know, it'd be fair if they made decent products. You would've liked it, though. It barely had any soda in it."
Hana got off the bed and she watched her undress and put on a large T-shirt. She moved her eyes on her things, on her old pairs of pointe shoes hanging from the shelves on her side of the room. They still called them my side, your side, but there's always been just one bed to share. She got under the cover and Hana joined her.
"What if I don't pass it?"
"Good for me. I'll still have my sister."
Hana watched Mafuyu in the dim light of the moon filtering in through the shutters. She put her arms around her. "I'm sure you will."
"What if I'm not good enough?"
"Then, quit."
Mafuyu faced her.
"Is that why you stopped playing? Because you thought you were not good enough?"
"That's not it."
"You were good, Hana."
"I was just a fast runner."
"No, you were good."
Hana moved away, putting some distance between their bodies.
"You're good at doing what you like, Mafuyu. Better than me. Sasha thinks so too."
"He does?"
"He speaks as if it'll be just the two of us from now on."
"And Katja. There'll be Katja, too."
"Right, Katja."
Mafuyu sensed Hana's grudge.
"She's his sister."
"I'm his sister, too."
"You're being stupidly jealous."
"Ma sciatavìn và," she laughed it off.
Mafuyu thought of Hana sitting on Sasha's lap on the couch. She thought of her hand on his cheek and her lips against his ear. Her eyes moved past her sister on the bookshelf, to the picture which portrayed them together. She heard Hana's breathing grew deeper. She imagined them tonight. Sasha leaning on her shoulder, Hana putting up a fight, Sasha lifting her up, his hands on her waist, to help her watch the match above the heads of the bystanders, like a couple of lovers dancing.
She curled close to her and lingered with her nose on her shoulder. She breathed in. Her sister smelled of smoke, of sweat, of shower gel. She didn't smell like him. She wrapped her arm around her waist, and kissed her head.
"Maybe you're right," she whispered. "One can't be jealous of their siblings."
