Disclaimer: I do not own anything Lewis-related. If I did, I would be a very rich and very happy woman and would not spend my time attempting to write fanfiction.
Acknowledgements: This fic is dedicated to the very "dishy" and talented Mr. Laurence Fox. Fox's brilliant portrayal of the conflicted, brooding, ambiguous, and VERY sexy DS James Hathaway was the primary inspiration of this little story.
Prologue
Detective Sergeant James Hathaway of the Oxfordshire police quietly slid into a pew toward the back of the church. Although small and cosy-looking, the chapel seemed alien to him. With the exception of weddings, funerals, concerts, and murder inquiries, Hathaway had not set foot in a church for years. However, he had recently been struck with an overpowering desire to go to confession. He knew the source; his sister had just asked him to serve as godfather to her new-born son, and James had known that—in his current state of sin—he was in no position to help foster little "Jimmy's"' faith. Once he'd decided to go to confession, he'd carefully thought about the church he'd attend, choosing this particular place, as it was foreign to him. No one—priest or parishioner—would recognize him here, which was for the best as the sins he had to confess were both many and grievous. James noticed a man walking into the confessional. The sergeant sighed with relief; he knew that he was not ready to own up to his sins just yet. He needed the time to think of what to say and how to say it.
He reached into his jacket pocket and withdrew a single piece that he had picked up as he walked in. The first line read "Tips for Examination of Conscience" in big red letters. The message continued on the next line in a smaller font. "When examining one's conscience, one should review the commandments and carefully reflect on all of their implications. James flipped the card over and saw that the Ten Commandments were listed in order. He set the card down. He didn't need to read the commandments to recall them. They were permanently implanted in his brain from his days at the seminary. James considered the first commandment.
"I am the Lord, Your God. Thou shall have no other gods besides me."
That was the commandment that Hathaway broke the most frequently. So often, James found himself valuing secular possessions over spiritual matters: money, power, his friends, his career, women (and the occasional man) …and—worst of all—himself. He needed to stop caring so much about what was in his own best interests and start focusing on God's will. He hoped that he was capable of it; that was—after all—why he was here. He was tired of living in the shadow of his sins and wanted to return to the light. He wanted to be a good Christian from now on—for his own sake, as well as that of his young nephew.
James briefly reflected on his first commandment infractions, and then moved on to the second commandment.
'Thou shall not take the name of the Lord, Your God in vain.'
James thought about that for a moment. If breaking the first commandment was his most frequent sin, this was a close second. Hathaway knew that swearing was one of his greatest vices—though he was hardly only one guilty of that. Yet, there had been a time when he'd gone a step further than merely taking God's name in vain—he'd cursed it.