Not Evil
xxredemption-love-and-liesxx

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summary: So small, so tiny. So fragile, so easily breakable. How could he, someone like him, have made such a small, perfect being?
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"She's so small," he whispered softly, gazing over at the small bundle that was being held by his wife.

He watched over the two of them, wanting to reach his hand out to touch her, but he refrained from doing so. So small. So…fragile. He could break her, he knew that. This little child, the one he and his wife had created was something that he wanted to not harm. So he kept away, watching his wife holding the little one.

The Uchiha noted right away that his daughter had his more noticeable features; dark eyes, dark hair—even his nose. She had the sharpness of his eyes, but the cat-like features were from her mother. She would have a big forehead too, and most of her facial structure was from her mother. In other words, she was just a dark-haired version of his wife. That made him happy.

They had not exactly expected a girl. In the Uchiha clan, many of the Uchihas born into the clan were males, with few exceptions. His mother came from outside of the clan and from another village. It was odd, seeing as most of the Uchihas married within the clan (they were not closely related, of course). For example, while Shisui was close to the main branch of the Uchiha family, he was very, very distantly related. In fact, the only closeness they had was a few generations after Indra.

Allowing himself to release the breath he had been holding, his attention focused back onto his wife. She looked rather weak. The labour had forced her to use most of her chakra and strength. For someone as powerful as Sakura was, it was shocking that it had tired her so much. Her eyes were bright still, though. From the birth of their child, no doubt. He was sure that he looked content himself as well.

His wife lowered her head and closed her eyes, resting against the baby. It seemed that the little one was rather quiet, only having cried when she was hungry for her mother's milk or during the birth itself. Sasuke sighed, coming closer so he could study the two.

"You can hold her, you know, Sasuke—kun(1)?" the roseate said softly, peeking open one eye. "You, as her father, have the right to hold her."

Sasuke paused, trying to think of multiple excuses of why he should not (cannot) hold her. However, when he could think of nothing suitable, he just kept quiet.

"Sasuke—kun?"

He did not want her to think that he was ignoring her, so he glanced in her direction once more. Her eyes widened, almost as if she was able to convey what he was trying to say—without actually saying it. She had opened both eyes to study him before a look of sorrow crossed her features.

"Sasuke—kun… you're not like that anymore; you won't hurt her," she said softly, trying to convince him of what she believed (knew) was true.

"Sakura," he said in a clipped tone, squeezing his eyes shut and covering his face so she could not see him. "I can't… She's too pure. If I touch her, I might taint her. As it is, she was born in this monsterous clan—it'd be better if I just…"

"If you what…?" Sakura said quietly.

He was hurting his wife now. He knew that. He looked back up at her, and saw that those (god damned) tears had filled her eyes. It was painful to see.

Sasuke shook his head, reaching for her. Don't… please don't.

The Uchiha lowered his head, letting out a shaky breath. "I'm scared."

In the past, he would have never uttered such words. Hell, there was only a few people—if only one—that he would say that to. It was definitely Sakura. She had to get—to understand why he was so terrified right now. He had hurt so many people he loves in the past, so what made his own daughter different? He pulled back, sinking into his chair. He had lost his own arm—and never had it back—because he had hurt the people around him. It was a way, in a sense, for him to repent for his sins.

He gritted his teeth and dropped his head again, almost as if he were hiding from the woman and child before him. They were his precious people, they definitely were. Sakura was his beautiful wife that continued loving him no matter what he did—and he, without really knowing, fell in love with her. He had only realized his feelings when she had confessed to him the second time. He understood then. He really understood.

As for his daughter, even though he did not know her, even though she had only just been born, even though she was not a day old—he loved her. So much. She was so little, she was someone he needed to protect with every fibre of his being. Besides, she was his. The very being that showed his love for his wife; for the love they held for each-other. She was… She was the product of their love, that was easy to see.

However, he did not want to taint her with his sins—with his evil. If she knew of the things he had done of the past, she would hate him. That was not even a question. He was still hated in the world for the malevolent things he had done in the past; he had been an international criminal, after all.

"Look at me."

His thoughts were interrupted by Sakura's voice. Cautiously, he looked up at her again. Her eyes were watery, but there was still no sign of her crying fully yet. She watched him silently.

"You're not evil," she started. "Hell, I don't think you were ever evil to begin with. You may have done wicked things, but you were in the darkness then—you were not yourself. I would bet that those things you did would never have happened if you were not submerged in your darkness—if you were not vengeful. You're not like that now… You haven't been like that in a long time, anata(2). So… why do you even think that you're going to hurt her," she lifted her arms, waking up the baby whom had fallen asleep during her parents' exchange. "Sasuke-kun? You… You wouldn't hurt her. Not purposely. I know you. You protect the people you love most, and no doubt, you're going to protect her with everything you have."

Ah, I am. He was. He would protect her. Definitely.

"So, please… hold her, Sasuke-kun," Sakura looked up and smiled gently. "You're a father, and all fathers need to hold their daughters."

Sasuke pursed his lips. He had no problem holding her with his one arm. He had become used to using his one arm for things he would need for two.

The little one let out a coo, and looked at her father. Her dark eyes picked up on the image of a man that was much larger than she was. However, the baby felt no fear when she caught a glimpse of the extremely odd right eye.

The raven-haired Uchiha reached for his daughter, and gently took her in his arm. He supported her, making sure his arm was in a way that would hold her neck—he had watched his wife carefully support her neck earlier. He looked down at the little baby in his arms. (So, so small—how can something be so small?)

"Sarada," he choked out, not even realizing the tears. She is… She's—

"I like it," Sakura said, keeping her voice quiet, not wanting to ruin the moment (not that she could) between the two Uchihas.

Sarada gurgled and reached her tiny hands up, clasping her knuckles in her father's hair. He had lowered his head earlier so he could study her closer. She closed her hands and tugged, but not too roughly to cause him to wince. He smirked at her.

She'll be strong.

"Anata…" he turned his attention back onto his wife. "You look like a father."

"Ah."

He smiled. He liked the thought of being called a 'father'—especially from her.

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fin

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notes
(1)—I know many hate the "—kun" right now—especially in their marriage—but I've always thought it was something that was, well… their thing. I dunno. Just allow me to drown in my thoughts.
(2)—anata means darling, from memory. So I have been using that lately. And I don't really like the term "darling"—I dunno. Never liked it. So I'll use the Japanese form. Of course, it also has another meaning of "you". Anata is apparently more traditional? I don't know.

author's thoughts
So I've slightly changed my set up, as you can see. I hope that's fine. Yes, it's small and yes I did a similar piece to this and yes this had a bad ending. I know. I'm trying to get back into the habit of writing something at least once a week, but all I'm having ideas for are longer stories. I have two I'm thinking of doing—but as always, no promises. Still, hope this was enjoyable in some way. Meh.