A/N: My old usernames on fanfiction were CubicleMiyuki, and KokoroKiseki55. If you know me from then, you probably remember the stories Broken and Disabled, as well as Assassinated Love... let me explain. Assassinated love was my earliest works, I was 12. And I really loved writing, and went with my heart...it wasn't proper. I got harshly criticized for it and lashed out like I shouldn't have. I apologize from my heart for it.
I deeply regretted it at that time, and made a new story to redeem myself. 'Broken and Disabled' it got many views, and I got many wonderful comments saying how nice the writing was. And how I even made some people cry. It was a few months shortly after Assassinated Love incident. I grew to dislike 'Broken and Disabled' and so I deleted it without thinking. I disappointed a lot of people, and I deeply apologize but at that time I was going through the roughest points of my life and I still am.
Now I restart both stories, they both will be produced side by side updating somewhat around the same time. (More info for 'Assassinated Love' is on that prologue).
Remaking Broken and Disabled, will be the same as it was back then, except different ending, and different plot. The condition is not the same, and the perspective...will be darker. I know how people like Rin may feel like, my brother suffers from cerebral palsy although I can't understand him, I can empathize with him. But people who have things taken away from them...that I can definitely empathize with.
So with that, we start Broken in Your Heart. (BTW This isn't a RinxLen fanfic it has some of it, but it's more of a journey and stuff. I don't wanna share much xD)
Prologue
Have you ever felt broken? It's how I feel, inside and out. They say sticks and stones can break your bones, but words may never hurt you.
Such a foolish mindset. Words hurt, they're like knives, a thousand knives even. I'm not normal, I show my pain, my hurt. Yet people are cruel.
I had dreams...I had hopes.
"Dad! I want to be a teacher one day!" a younger me, gleefully looked at her father.
All stolen away…I realize I am not like others.
"I'm not like others! I'm not normal, I can't even run before collapsing!"
We fight...but is it worth it?
"Get the hell away from me."
"Excuse me? Mr. Kiyoteru!"
Crying...I 'ran' out of tears.
"Why the hell aren't you crying? What's wrong with you?"
"I can't cry."
"Bullshit!"
But...why do I still cry? What is worth crying? I still want to cry, but at the same time...I have to be strong.
To protect others. To put others before me. Even with my heart not like theirs, I want to empathize with them, I want to forgive them, I want to love them like nobody ever did for me.
People love me. I am aware. But do I love myself? Is my heart...able to love myself?
"You can love yourself, like your heart as big for others, your heart is big for yourself."
Nobody will ever tell me this…
And even if they did...do I even believe it?
Stick and Stones break your bones, but words will never hurt you.
What if I'm already hurt?
What if I fight but it's useless?
What if I don't cry?
What if I cry, yet I don't want to?
What if I smile and laugh...but feel hollow?
What if I feel like wanting revenge, does it make me evil?
What if I act irrationally...I'm horrible right?
What if I feel angry when others are happy?
What if I take someone's happiness?
What if I'm wearing a mask?
What if I am breaking?
What if I'm already broken?
What if I can't be fixed?
What if I want to be fixed, but don't know how?
What if I can't tell who I am anymore?
What if I don't know the answers?
What if I can't fix myself?
What if you can't fix me?
What if there is no real me?
What if I have a chance?
What if...what if...I can be me?
-Broken In Your Heart-
A/N: Okay there is still a medical thing in there so don't worry! Rin does suffer from something, and it's very similar to my condition. I can't reveal much
It updates every 3 days next update will be 5/27/17
Criticism is allowed, just no cursing at me or calling my story horrible without a reason.
Until 3 days time!