THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES ME WANT TO GET UP IN THE MORNING

You gave me hope when I was hopeless and that`s just the ultimate gift for me. Being a quad, well you make me forget I am one quite often Louisa Clark. Clark actually. Louisa never felt right to me. It is too formal. And our relationship is beyond formalities and that's because YOU are pretty much the only thing that makes me want to get up in the morning. You ….

I can actually see the potential in you. And I want to help you let it out. Because I love you. Because you deserve it. I see what we feel for each other, when we look at each other. You are not just one more leggy blonde Clark. How could I be so blind before, when I was wasting my time in superficial relationships? You are far more elegant than them. Because despite your extreme taste in clothes -which I love- you are elegant in your soul. And I wish I could wipe your tears , caress your hair and lift you in my arms. Make love to you in the most gentle and at the same time in the most passionate way. But I can't.

And it's ironic. That I was able to do all these stuff to women I didn't really felt nothing deep. Respect and enthusiasm and lust, but never love. And now, that I love you, it kills me that I am not able to do … Oh God Clark if you only knew …. How much I love you …. Want you …. Desire you !

I can't stop thinking about you and what I said that night in that wedding was true:

You are the only thing that makes me want to get up in the morning. I want to have a life with you. But I have already decided about … Switzerland …

Should I change my mind? Your love is a fresh air to my soul. I know we have come here, in this place, Mauritius, and I can't stop feeling that I want to kiss you and I wanted to kiss you from the very first second I saw you, when you were scored on my heart, where you will be scored on forever, because whatever happens, Switzerland or no Switzerland, I will be forever in love with you crazy, beautiful and kind-hearted bumbleebee girl. My bumbleebee girl.

You love me. You don't care about this bloody wheelchair. And I love everything about you. You even love my sarcasm. This could be a really great life … with you! But I want to hold you. And I know this chair does not define me. I know that now. And we only get one life. It's actually our duty to live it as fully as possible. And that's what I am planning to do. With you!

But the question is: For how long? Until Switzerland? Make the most of our time until then? Or change my mind about Switzerland?

One thing is for sure. My final decision about Switzerland, whatever that is, won't change the fact that I was born to love you Louisa Clark. And you were born to love me. We were born for each other and being with you, in this place, next to you….

Next to the only person that matters so much to me …. That's …..

HEAVEN