close your eyes and look

Lucy and Natsu and a whole lot of looking.

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It starts when Lucy catches Natsu, who has once more snuck into her apartment, looking at, no, blatantly ogling her bust in a way that simply cannot be misinterpreted. She has half a mind to walk up to him and give him a good slap or two before she sics Erza on him once her brain manages to process the facts and what they might mean. She doesn't, because halfway into the first step in his direction, she notices how red his ears are and how he's slightly fidgety and it makes her stop and blush herself. Lucy quickly finds another reason to shout at him in irritation, oh so conveniently talking his ear off about how he isn't supposed to be here and doesn't he have his own home? They fall into their usual routine after that and if Lucy thinks that being checked out by Natsu might very well be a very not bad thing, she doesn't admit it.

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Lucy thinks her eyes have been opened. Now that she has noticed one time of Natsu checking her out, she begins to see it all the time. Whenever she walks out of the shower and he's there, whenever he accidentally burns her clothes off (she is beginning to think that it's maybe – probably – not accidental at all), whenever he sleeps together with her in her bed or just generally when he's in any position in which he apparently thinks the view is good. Lucy always catches him looking at her – or her bust or her legs or really just anywhere where he shouldn't look – with a mixture of appreciation and longing that at the same time make her feel like there's a swarm of little butterflies in her stomach and make her question her eyesight, because holymotherofearthland, it's Natsu. He's not supposed to know what boobs mean or why men enjoy looking at shapely legs. But Lucy, as much as she tries to deny it, finds herself quietly hoping that he does.

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It hits Lucy when she wakes up one morning to a sleeping Natsu. She likes him. The like-like she always denied when Happy teased her about it. She pinks, wondering why she's noticing this now of all times. Now that she thinks about it, she's probably liked him for a long, long time. Why else was she so giddily nervous when she thought he'd ask her out that one time? Why else was she so upset about it when he didn't? Why else … Lucy suddenly notices a lot more of instances where she might have possiblyprobably already been in love with her best friend/constant annoyance and her cheeks heat up to the point where she doesn't think she can handle being in the same room with Natsu, not when the shock of her realization is so fresh. So Lucy flees, into the only room that has a lock, which just so happens to be the bathroom and when she sinks down on the floor beside the bathtub, she decides that she might as well take a nice, long bath while she's at it. Decision made, she quickly slips out of her clothes and into the tub where she starts letting water in and sighs in satisfaction at the comfortable feeling.

It takes out a bit of the shock of suddenly knowing that she's pretty much in love with an idiot that invades her private space too much. Come to think of it, how has she actually managed to fall for such a moron? She sinks deeper into the now almost filled tub and wonders if that makes her kind of a moron herself. The answer is very probably and Lucy spends the rest of her bath soaking in the warmth the water provides and exploring her newfound feelings a little more. It's a bit like searching for artifacts, because she keeps discovering things that have always been there and she just never noticed. Like how she thinks he looks really good in that vest of his, how she kind of finds his pink hair really, really attractive and how she wants him to stay in her life for a very long time. Preferably as someone who loves her as well, but Lucy notices with a sinking feeling that she can't force something like that. It's completely up to Natsu who he likes and she knows that she's just one girl out of many and that she might have a good headstart with being the person he spends most of his time with, aside of Happy, but really, that's all. She sulks for a bit before she remembers how he always looks at her like that and that she might actually have more of a chance than she first thought.

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Lucy finds she sort of kinda likes the way Natsu looks at her. Y'know, when he's more like the rest of the men and really looking at her. And her assets. Especially her assets. Because it makes her feel better about liking him too much, because it might mean that what she secretly hopes for might become more than just a hope after all. If he enjoys looking at her, he at least thinks that she's extremely attractive, because Lucy has not once seen Natsu look at any other woman the way he looks at her, no matter how well endowed she is (and Natsu doesn't only look at her bust, no, his personal favorite seems to be her face for whatever reason). It lets her feel more confident and – somehow – makes Lucy love him even more.

So when one time she exits her bathroom clad in a towel that's way too short, because everything else is in the wash, and Natsu is there, sitting on her bed and staring more than normal, she does the only at the time seemingly logical thing by crossing the room with a few quick steps and shoving her tongue into his mouth when she reaches him. His eyes are wide when she pulls away red-faced and horribly embarrassed, the situation only now catching up to her, but before her mind can properly start to panic because what was she thinking, kissing ihm like that, and has just lost a very good friend and what if he doesn't like her like that a wide grin forms on his face.

"Can we do that again?"

Lucy nods, a bit overwhelmed and very, very happy, a smile breaking out on her face as well. And just like that, she becomes Natsu Dragneel's girlfriend.

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The first time she tells him she loves him is also the time when the guild finds out they've been dating for a month. It happens very unexpectedly and in a probably not very romantic situation at all. In fact, Lucy mutters to herself that she's wondering why on Earthland she's in love with such an idiot, the statement prompted by an ongoing fight of Natsu and Gajeel over what kind of clothing should be worn when going to a live concert (she doesn't even know how they got to that topic). Of course, Mira overhears and promptly asks if she means Natsu, who – of course – managed to hear both of the comments, hers and Mira's, due to his enhanced senses and breaks out into a shout of "Hear that? Lucy loves me!".

And of course, how else could it be, there's an uproar from the guild, questions like 'when' and 'how' shouted in one muddled big noise. Natsu barrels over to her and kisses the living daylights out of her before he whispers "me too" and bolts through the guild doors before she can say anything. Not that she would have, because her mouth is opening and closing without any words leaving it and Happy comments that she looks a bit like a really red fish. She whirls around and it's only then that she notices that Natsu has just left her at her guildmates' mercy while conveniently fleeing himself. Lucy steels herself against the questions that are sure to come and thinks on the inside that Natsu definitely has to make this one up to her later.

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Dating is nice. Ironically, it's that nice because nothing has changed, aside from the fact that Natsu has gained a new argument in every fight with her ("but I thought you love me …") and that she gets to kiss him as much as she likes. The same goes for Natsu, who has no qualms about sneaking in kisses whenever she expects them least. Granted, they don't kiss in the guild, only when they're sure no one's looking, but Lucy's a private person anyway and Natsu prefers a good fight when in the presence of others, mostly because he can kiss her that much more thoroughly when they're alone without her stopping him at some point. Because – as she should have expected – his kisses are positively scorching and she thinks she wouldn't mind burning with him in other, more intimate ways, but she isn't quite ready for that yet and she knows Natsu isn't either. It's the first time both of them have been in a relationship and they're too comfortable as it is now to jump into the next level of being together. It doesn't change that Natsu is sometimes looking at her in a way that is far from innocent and it doesn't mean that she stops appreciating his looks in ways that aren't wholly innocent either. She figures it's okay though. It was like that from before they started to go out after all.

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So, she just asked the girls if they knew any contraceptive spells, because she wants to have sex with Natsu and he wants to have sex with her and they want to have sex. It's normal to want that, Lucy tells herself. It's normal, but still, it can't stop her from blushing from head to toe when she thinks about it and it can't stop her from being so, so embarrassed when Mira awws and the rest of the girls all look at her with smug grins. Cana says, in a moment of not chugging beer or wine down, "What, so you haven't done it already?" and Lucy immediately wants to disappear into the ground she's standing on. She doesn't, because she wants to, no, absolutely needs to know this contraceptive spell and she knows that Cana at the very least knows the thing by heart (good thing Gildarts isn't aware). But its only after twenty minutes more of teasing and ribbing that they finally teach her (Mira knows the thing by heart as well and Lucy isn't quite sure what she wants to think of that yet).

Lucy flees the minute she has it, hastily saying that she still has things to do and the girls' boisterous laughter is heard throughout the guild, while the men all wonder what this newest outburst is about. She's gone before she can hear anything else and nervously, anxiously, but also eagerly makes her way home, where she knows a certain dragonslayer is already waiting for her, Happy away on his second ever date and gone for the night with a promise that he 'wouldn't be intruding on them making kittens', the sentence topped off with a knowing, slightly mischievous look. They're alone and they're going to do it and when she finally reaches the apartment, that knowledge is so deeply set in her mind that she's half nervous wreck and half ridiculously turned on that she has to stifle a hysteric giggle when she walks up the stairs, opening the door to see Natsu lying on her bed, looking at her with dark eyes and an expression that can only be described as want. He probably heard her coming. Lucy takes a deep breath.

"I got it."

They both know she means the spell and she sees Natsu take a gulp of air as well, suddenly looking as nervous as she is and with trembling fingers she casts it, taking a few small, unsure steps towards the bed before a look at his equally nervous face quells all her doubts about this. She loves him. He loves her. And what they don't know yet, they'll learn together. It's with that thought in mind that she slowly sits down on the bed and does what she has done when she became his girlfriend. Her aim is a bit better now than then and she knows better what to do, but the last vestiges of nervousness make her pry his mouth open with her tongue almost as clumsily as the first time, with Natsu equally as unresponsive due to shock, but he puts a hand on the back of her head to keep her locked where she is, kissing back with fervour after catching up with the situation and she loses herself to sensation.

It doesn't hurt as much as she's been led to believe, but between getting hurt and being almost fatally injured when they're on missions, she's kind of gotten used to pain. If anything, it's warm and Natsu is filling her in ways that she never expected to be filled and she just wants to hold him tighter. She loves him, so much, and even when she's panting and moaning, she makes sure to tell him that. It makes him groan and go faster and it isn't before long that she's peaking, the pleasure hitting her all at once and Lucy thinks she could get used to this, before all coherent thought is taken from her.

Natsu disentangles himself from her and flops unceremoniously onto the bed and it occurs to Lucy that she has never seen him so exhausted before. It doesn't really mean that much because she feels even more exhausted than he looks and she cuddles up to him, not wanting his warmth to leave her yet. Natsu throws an arm over her waist and pulls her even closer and Lucy gets the sudden urge to smile.

"I love you."

It's barely a murmur, but she hears it anyway, even without enhanced hearing ability, and hearing him say it like this makes her heart pound ridiculously hard for having just given her virginity to him. But she isn't the only one that has given that part of herself for the first time and she loves him all the more for it.

Lucy falls asleep with the smile still stuck on her face.

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Lucy has created a monster. At least that's what it feels like sometimes, because there is just no way that this is normal. It might be her fault, but seriously, how was she supposed to expect that Natsu would become an unstoppable force after introducing him to sex? The worst thing is that she can never say no to him, firstly because she'd feel bad about it and secondly because Natsu can be very persuasive if he wants to. No matter where they are, no matter what they're doing (or supposed to be doing) he always manages to rile her up and she thanks the heavens that she's on the one team that takes too many missions due to constant destruction. It's built up her stamina quite a bit and she enjoys the sex as much as Natsu does, even if she is still apprehensive about doing it in open spaces. Lucy likes to think that she has learned at least something in her childhood, but apparently propriety is something she hasn't learned enough, not with how Natsu can convince her to have sex literally everywhere. She does draw the line at places where they're more likely to get seen and when there are people around, but as long as it's out of focus, her boyfriend has little to no trouble getting her there. So far they haven't been caught yet and Lucy wants it to stay that way. Natsu was never sneaky enough to pull off the ninja act he sometimes does, but somehow, he manages just fine as long as there's sex involved. And it's good, too, because Lucy, no matter what she tells herself, doesn't want to tell him no when it's about sex. It's the way he makes her feel, the way he wants her and the way she loves him all mixed together and she wouldn't give it up for the world.

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He asks her to marry him one day. It's after a mission and as sudden as his attacks and his kisses, catching her in the moment she least expects it to and Lucy is speechless. It's not that it's overly romantic, that isn't really his style anyway, but it's so Natsu that she's near tears, drawing him into a long hug while chanting "yes" all the while, happy and glad and nearly bursting with all the love she feels for him in that moment. She feels his grin before she sees it and when he erupts into loud laughter, she smacks him before she catches his relieved look and joins into the laughter herself.

As she later finds out, this wasn't really planned and he doesn't have a ring, but somehow, it's even more beautiful than if he had. Lucy scolds him for not thinking enough before she commands him to go ring shopping with her. She guesses from the look on his face that he knows she doesn't mean her little tirade and he only too willingly comes with her in order to pick the ring out ("and pay for it, Natsu, I'm not going to buy my own engagement ring") and a few hours later, she's one ring richer and indefinitely happy as they walk hand in hand towards the guild. Before they go in, she opens her mouth to say something to Natsu, but forgets immediately what it was. He's looking at their linked hands, at her hand, the hand with the ring and he has the biggest grin stretching across his face. Lucy smiles at him, more in love than she would have ever thought possible, and pushes the door to the rest of her family open.


This was originally intended as a companion piece to Suspicions, another of my oneshots, but the stories ended up not really intertwining at all. Still, I wrote this with Suspicions in mind and so I still see the two stories as sort of companion pieces.

Libri.