This Is SO Not A Diary

by paigeandtiger

Poor Jane is being forced to keep a diary. Have fun reading about Aro's attempt to sing, anger management class, and lots more about the crazy everyday life as a member of the Volturi.

1. Chapter 1

This is my first fanfiction so I thought I'd start with something funny. Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, and hope that Aro gets his shower fixed.

Dear Whatever,

This is NOT a diary. I wouldn't be writing in this stupid thing if not for Aro telling me I need to "express my feelings." How I would have loved to burn him. But no, I'm just a member of the guard. At least I don't have to wait on Aro's hands and feet like the bodyguards do. Those ones are really stupid. I asked one of them if they had seen my eye drops, the ones that let me be really intimidating by making my eyes BRIGHT red instead of just dull crimson, and the stupid Barbies started giggling and talking about how Adrienne's cousin just got purple contacts or some nonsense like that. How I hate them. Anyway, I hear Aro calling me. He probably has some poor soul that was hunting after 6 am or something like that and he wants me to interrogate whoever it is. Guess that I'd better go. Shut UP, Caius, I heard you all the first ten times.

This is NOT a diary,

Jane Volturi

Personal Status: VERY annoyed and ready to burn someone.