A/N: THis story is my first attempt at Glee fan fiction, and the first story I've written after a long period of illness. I have no idea if it's any good, I've kind of lost my reference point, but as I didn't have anyone to read it for me I figured it couldn't hurt to upload it. It's set Pre-Never Been Kissed, so Kurt hasn't met Blaine yet.

If it was possible for a room to be in a more perfect state of chaos, Kurt didn't want to know about it. The noise level was almost painful; Rachel was shrieking, Brittany was sobbing, and there were arguments and shouting matches from every direction he could hear in. It had gone from an ordinary afternoon in Glee to the mother of all clusterfucks, and the countertenor had no idea how it had happened.

It wasn't even the return of Puck from his stint in Juvie, like one might have thought. Sure, the room was tense when he walked in - Mohawk back, new piercings, and a bandage on his arm from where he apparently got knifed - but Kurt was pretty sure Puck was the only person in the room, other than himself, who was simply sitting quietly in the dark, listening to the screaming and shouting and crying from every other corner.

Rachel had started it, unsurprisingly. Mr Schuester had attempted to give a solo for their upcoming assembly performance to Quinn, and Rachel had taken it...poorly. "At-least-I-can-say-my-uterus-has-always-been-vacant" poorly. That made Mercedes jump to her new Bffs defense, started an argument between Finn and Sam as they defended their respective girlfriends, and things sort of went downhill from there. As Kurt and Puck had watched with raised eyebrows and wide eyes, the whole thing went to Hell. Santana made some snippy comment to Brittany that had made the girl cry, starting an argument between Artie and the Latina girl. Tina rushed to Artie's defense when Santana got particularly bitchy, making Mike snap at her in jealously, and now the two of them were screaming insults at one another while Santana continued to dig into Artie and Brittany. Mr Schuester was shouting to be heard over the din as he physically held Finn and Sam apart, and Rachel faced off against Quinn and Mercedes right next to them. Outside, an unseasonal thunderstorm raged, and it was this that finally added the final touch to the misery indoors; the power went out with a click. People were shrieking and falling down and still fucking fighting, and nearly 10 minutes after Mr Schuester's ill fated announcement it didn't sound like they were going to stop.

"Have they been like this the whole time I was gone?" a husky voice drawled into Kurt's ear. He jumped, automatically grabbing his bag. He could here Puck's chuckle as he blushed, but he responded without his voice giving him away.

"No, this is new," he muttered back to the mohawked teen. Kurt shifted in his seat, trying to block out the noise. "Welcome back."

Puck snorted, and his breath was still hot against Kurt's neck, "Hell of a welcome home party. Cat fights going on and I can't even see it."

"Poor baby. No hot girl-on-girl action for you today," Kurt smirked, flicking his fringe with one hand.

"I know, right? It's a goddamn tragedy."

There was an outraged shriek from the directions of the battleground, and both boys winced. Puck's voice was slightly further away when he spoke, "Fuck, who was that! Sounded like someone stood on a cat."

"Gotta be Rachel," Kurt replied, rubbing his ears. "Who else could hit that note?"

"Good point," Puck leaned back in, still having to speak up over the din. "Finn better be careful if he ever gets her in bed. She might break the windows if she's a screamer."

Kurt made a revolted noise, "Urgh, can we not talk about Rachel having sex? My sexual organs might retract into my body from horror."

Puck laughed at this, and Kurt felt a weight on the back of his chair; the other boy must have been leaning on it. It felt weird, sitting in the dark with Puck as a war was waged not ten feet away. Particularly as they were actually conversing quite civilly, and in such close proximity. Puck had always been less leery about touching Kurt then other boys; he was too comfortable in his sexuality, Kurt guessed. No one would mistake Puck for gay because he sat next to a gay boy, and if they did then their mother's could probably testify as to otherwise.

"This is getting kind of ridiculous," Puck muttered, shifting. His arm brushed against Kurt's back, confirming to the smaller boy that he really did practically have his arm around him. "Why doesn't Mr Schue just tell them to shut up?"

Kurt snorted and tossed his head, "I think the claws are too far out for them to care. I'm still waiting for someone to throw the first punch. Bet it's Mercedes."

"Or Santana," Puck agreed. He sighed, breath hot on Kurt's face. The countertenor started when he realised just how close the other boy was.

'It must be really hard for him to hear me.'

"How are we the only people not fighting?" Puck wondered. Kurt felt the arm around his chair settle around his shoulders instead, and started a little. Puck continued, apparently oblivious to Kurt's confusion. "You're, like, the bitchiest person here and I'm always the freakin' problem. What's up with this ignoring us shit?"

"You've been gone a month, Puck," Kurt rolled his eyes. "And there have been plenty of dramas while you've been gone. You're hardly 'always the problem'."

"Just seems like it to me," Puck muttered. Kurt looked over to his voice, wondering if he was meant to hear that. The moment - whether awkward or just quiet Kurt couldn't tell - was broken by the sound of a smack. Both boys winced.

"Ouch, who was that?" Kurt lent forward, ears straining. Puck shifted with him.

"Not 'Tana, she hits harder than that," the mohawked boy mused. Kurt smirked a little.

"You know this from first hand experience?"

"Apparently asking for a threesome with her hot cousin was rude."

"Who would have guessed?"

"I know, right?" Puck's voice was hot in his ear again, and Kurt could feel his face flush a little. Surely Puck didn't need to sit that close to him, did he? Kurt tried to be flippant; he did NOT like to get flustered in front of hot guys. It gave them the wrong idea, like he was getting hot on them or something. Although, considering the firm muscles of the arm slung around his shoulder's in a strangely companionable manner, maybe it wasn't so wrong - he cut off that train of thought ASAP.

"Well, I'm dreadfully sorry that your triumphant return to Glee included a war which can only end with lost voices, a black out, and no one but me to talk to."

Puck laughed, "I'm not! It's hilarious. It's like we're the only sane people here. Besides, it could be way worse - " Kurt could hear the grin in Puck's voice. " - I could be stuck with Berry or Santana."

"I thought you liked Santana," Kurt shifted to face where he thought Puck was, eyebrows raised. He hadn't been aware of any problems between Puck and Santana - what problems could two people who are basically just fuck-buddies have? "At least you can make out with Santana, right?"

"I wish," Puck huffed, and Kurt could hear him slide down in his seat. "She wanted to be exclusive with Brittany, but then Brittany started dating Wheels before 'Tana had a chance to ask her out. I asked her to come around last night, but she told me to go to hell."

"So that's why she's been so bitchy recently!" Kurt gasped, sitting up and staring in the direction of Santana and Artie's voices. "Oh my Gucci, that explains so much! That poor girl, she must be so hurt."

"Her? What about me?" Puck grumbled, and Kurt turned back to face him. Even though he knew the other boy couldn't see him, he fixed him with a glare. Puck continued, oblivious. "Like, I'm just out of prison and I haven't gotten laid in forever, and because she was too much of a pussy to make a move on Brittany when Brittany wasn't taken, I get blue-balled so hard you wouldn't believe it."

"Thank you for that, Puck. That was entirely too much information," Kurt ground out, his teeth clenched. His back was ramrod straight and he folded his arms. If there was one thing he didn't need while sitting extremely close - in the dark - to a hot guy who he was actually getting on with was for the conversation to turn to sex. Puck was undeterred.

"Shit man, it's been like two months! I'm dying over here!" the darkness next to Kurt whined. He tried to focus on the arguments going on on the other side of the room, but Puck's lips were almost against Kurt's ear in order for him to be heard. The heat of Puck's breath on his face was surprisingly erotic, and Kurt felt himself blushing. Though Puck was a jerk, it was hard not to be attracted to that gorgeous body, husky voice, and youthful arrogance; didn't mean Kurt liked the asshole, just that he found him attractive and having him sitting a few inches away in the dark while he whispered about sex into Kurt's ear kind of made the countertenor which he'd picked a fight with someone too. Puck's voice continued it's torture. "I haven't gone this long without coming since I was,like, 13."

"What, you've never heard of masturbation?" Kurt hissed back, shifting in his seat. He glared into the darkness away from Puck's voice, determined not to be effected by it. Puck sounded offended.

"I haven't had to masturbate in years!" he protested, leaning forward with Kurt. "Why would I? I just crook my little finger and the girls come running."

"Not that you're at all conceited," Kurt sniped back, wincing as he heard the sound of a slap from the lump of arguments in front of him. "Ooh, there goes another one - but it looks like you're going to have to slum it with the rest of us."

There was a pause, and Kurt thought he'd manage to shut the other boy up, maybe even make him pout a little. Before he could relish his victory, however, Puck's voice was in his ear again.
"You masturbate?"

Kurt flushed again, shifting away from Puck. Why was he pursuing this, Kurt wondered desperately. How do I react to that? He decided a lofty non-answer was his best bet, "What the heck kind of a question is that? I am a teenage boy, you know."

"That doesn't answer my question," Puck taunted him, and Kurt could almost see the smirk on his face in the dark. "Do you?"

Kurt rolled his eyes, ignoring his burning face. He tried to inject as much arrogance and haughtiness into his voice, but it came out more defencive than anything, "Yes, Puck. I do. Happy?"

Puck laughed and Kurt huffed, sitting back in his seat with his arms crossed over his chest. He knew he was pouting, but it wasn't like anyone could see him any way. He snipped at Puck, "Yes, ha ha, the queer is a real boy after all."

"It's not that, I know you're a dude, dude," Puck ignored Kurt's muttered, "Don't call me dude," in favour of chuckling a little more. "But you're so freakin' put together. I just can't image you getting the stick out of your ass for long enough to get off."

Kurt couldn't help the slightly mischievous twitch to his mouth, "Why would have a stick in my ass hinder that? Gay, remember?"

Puck laughed harder, his body brushing against Kurt's arm, "Shit, didn't think of that. Still, aren't you worried you might mess up your hair or work up a sweat or something?"

"That's half the fun!" Kurt chirped, feeling strangely bold. He was awarded with a louder laugh from Puck, one he could hear over the din even when the other boy rocked away from him. After a moment, Puck's body was pressed up against his side again, closer now.

Puck's chuckles were pushing hot breath onto his face again, and Kurt felt this breath start to quicken; Why the hell does he keep moving so close?

"So that would have to be my advice to you, Puckerman. Whack off and get it over with. It's just as much fun, and comes without the drama and the inevitable "Does my ass look fat in this dress?" questions that you'll get from girls," Kurt sniffed, but he was smiling. He knew he was blushing like crazy, but it was kind of fun to tease (Were they flirting? It kind of felt like they were flirting) Puck like this, and the other boy seemed like he was enjoying it too.

"Sounds perfect," Puck's voice was husky in his ear, and Kurt the heat in his voice made Kurt a little (hot) wary. He stared determinedly into the darkness, trying to get his blushing under control and convince his body that he wasn't a little turned on by the proximity (and the voice and the muscles) of the other boy. The noise was still deafening; it seemed that Santana and Tina were now tearing into one another, and for some reason Mike was arguing with Quinn. Finn and Rachel were having an epic row but Mercedes' voice was overpowering them all as she shouted at Mr Schuester. Kurt listened for a few moments, trying to decipher exactly how this situation had come about, when he heard a slight moan in his ear. He froze.

"Oh for the love of Versace, tell me you're not jerking off now," he hissed, clamping a hand over his eyes despite the darkness. Puck chuckled, slightly breathless.

"I just couldn't help myself," he whispered back, his mouth actually brushing over the shell of Kurt's ear, allowing Kurt to hear the hitch in his breath. Kurt froze in his seat, the angry voices of the other gleeks falling away as he became aware of the subtle rocking of Puck's body, the feeling of the muscular arm over his shoulder, the hot breath on his ear. "Thinking about uptight little Hummel losing control, all your pretty composure, getting dirty and sweaty as you get off... it's so fucking hot."

Kurt couldn't help the gasp as Puck's voice trailing into a moan. He felt paralysed, trapped... turned on. He tried to shake the feeling off, laugh the whole thing off as a joke at his expense,"Nice try, Puckerman, but I know you're straight."

Puck chuckled, then hissed, and he rocked a little harder for a moment, "Man, fuck that. I can fuck whoever I want, chick or dude. I'm a goddamn bad ass. You gonna join in or what?"

"I am not going to start jerking off in the middle of Glee," Kurt snarled. His voice was a little higher and breathier than he would have liked, and the chuckle in his ear let him know Puck had noticed. "Particularly not with you."

"Ouch, Princess," Puck murmured. Kurt felt the arm around his shoulder shift, filling him with relief (disappointment). He thought Puck was backing off until he felt the hand slide behind him and down his side, to his waist. Later, he would firmly deny that he had squeaked (and Puck would laugh and say that he was lying). Puck's voice was as hot as sex, and the smell of his sweat made Kurt shut his eyes against his own arousal, "C'mon, Hummel. I know you think I'm hot. I've seen you staring, and don't pretend that you weren't flirting just now. Fuck knows I was. It's like you said, no girls, no drama. And I'm offering-" here his lips brushed over Kurt's ear again, and his hand slid down Kurt's waist to his thigh, " - some one time only, no-strings attached fun."

He punctuated the final word by finally shifting his hand from clutching Kurt's thigh to palm the countertenor's erection through his tight jeans. Kurt couldn't help it; his hips bucked, rubbing himself against the large hand cupping him. The feeling was overwhelming, and the fact that it was Puck and everyone was right there only added to the rushing in his head. As Puck started grinding that big (male) hand against him, he shoved a hand over his mouth, stifling the moans that were building in his throat. Puck groaned softly into his ear, "Fuck, Hummel. You sound so hot, rubbing against me like a little whore, wish I could see you. Anyone ever touched you like this before?"

"No," Kurt gasped, ears ringing with the shouting and the thunder and the rushing of the blood in his ears. Puck's voice cut through them all, hoarse and hot.

"Then we'd better made it good."

Puck undid the button and the zip on Kurt's jeans with practiced fingers. Kurt bit his lip to keep from screaming when the hot, calloused hand closed around him, gripping his flesh just a little too tightly. Puck's hand started to spread pre-cum from the tip all the way down the shaft, and Kurt's hips rocked into his fist. He kept rocking up as Puck loosened and tightened his grip, fucking the muscular boy's hand as little whimpers and moans forced their way out past his lips. He felt like his veins were throbbing with pleasure as he scrabbled to cling onto Puck's arms, pleading with whimpers and digging fingers for the other boy not to stop. His hands slipped on the sweat on Puck's bare arms, and he could feel the muscles shaking under his slender hands. The other boy was just as turned on as he was. Puck was pressing hot, open mouthed kisses on his throat, one hand massaging Kurt's thigh as the other worked Kurt into a frenzy. The smell of their combined sex, the roughness of Puck's palms, and the filthy words Puck was whispering into his ear in between the rough mauling of his neck...

"God, look at you, fucking my hand like that, you like that, don't you? So shameless, those noises, God, I love those whimpers, moan again for me again, say my name, you god-damned slut..."

...bringing him dangerously close to finishing as he rocked in time with Puck's jerking.

"Puck," he moaned, his breath catching in a gasp when Puck's grip tightened. "Please, I'm so - it feels so good, please, Puck-"

Puck groaned a heartfelt, "Fuck." into his ear before biting down on Kurt's long, pale neck. The sudden stimulation drove Kurt over the edge, heat shooting through his veins and down to his groin as his back arched off the chair and his head snapped back, scream trapped by his own hand clamped across his mouth as he flew apart.

Puck's hand caught the ropes of cum that flew out of him, still whispering into his ear. As Kurt came down off his high, hands shaking and weak knee-d, he grabbed the wrist that had caught the cum, bringing it up to his mouth. Puck groaned into Kurt's neck as Kurt - without a moment's hesitation - started licking up his own fluid.

"God fucking DAMN IT, that is so hot," he hissed as Kurt's tongue contorted itself in intriguing ways in order to lap up the last drops from between his fingers, pausing briefly to suck at the tip of one. Puck grabbed one of Kurt's wrists and tugged his hands down to Puck's exposed cock, which was already leaking pre-cum despite the lack of attention it had gotten. Kurt grasped it automatically, still buzzing from his own orgasm, and curiously felt up the length. It was thick and hot, making Kurt's already sex-fuzzied mind whirl with possibilities. Puck's hand closed around his own, helping Kurt stroke him off until the other boy could get his own rhythm going.

Kurt heard a thunk as Puck's head thumped against the wall. Puck's quiet moans were lost in the din as Kurt learned the shape and texture of his sex, soft hands on hard flesh, curious and clever. Kurt loved the heat of it against his palm, the smell of the damp flesh, the fact that when he twisted his hand just a little Puck would buck up off the seat like he'd been electrocuted. Kurt leaned in closer in order to hear those throaty groans better, and his foot bumped his bag. A thought shot through him like lightening, and his breath caught in his throat. Doing his best not to stumble in his rhythm, he bent down and reached into his bag. Before he could think about it too much and he could talk himself out of it he fumbled with his make-up case, managing to open it after a struggle, hands slipping into a secret pouch in the side. His fingers closed over the foil-covered object and his heart sped up - was he really going to do this? Puck's hips bucked up again and he made up his mind.

"Don't freak out," he muttered in Puck's ear, before tearing the condom packet open with his teeth. He slid to his knees in front of the mohawked boy.

"Oh fuck, yes," Puck gasped, leaning forward to tangle his fingers in Kurt's hair. Kurt took a deep breath, put the tip of the condom in his mouth, and leaning in. As he stretched the condom over the thick length in front of him with his mouth, he silently thanked the raunchy sleepovers he had with Brittany, and all of the useful tricks he'd learned therein.

Puck's groan was loud enough to be heard over the screaming as Kurt's hot mouth lowered itself on him. The muscles in his thighs started twitching with the urge to thrust up into that delicious heat, but he resisted. Kurt shut his eyes as he forced his mouth to stretch to accommodate the girth of Puck, relishing the heaviness of it. He relaxed his throat in the way that Brittany had taught him, swallowing down until his nose was only just above Puck's stomach. The hand in his hair was clenching and unclenching, minute tremors running through Puck's body, and the moans became more and more strangled as he started to bob his head up and down. He thought back to every magazine he'd read, every tip picked up from Cosmo and porn and Brittany and set about giving Puck the best blow job of his life. He sucked in his cheeks and jerked his hand at the bottom, twisting his tongue for added pressure. He swallowed at every opportunity, taking his ques from Puck's husky swearing and deep groans. Puck rocked up into his mouth in rhythm, unable to help himself ('Thank Gaga I have no gag reflex.') as he got closer and closer to the edge.

Suddenly there was a shrill whistle from the other side of the room and the shouting petered out. Both boys jumped, but the friction that caused just pushed them back into their sexual haze, Puck forcing a more then willing Kurt back down his cock. Both half listened as Mr Schuester's voice carried across the now silent room. Kurt didn't pause in his motions.

"Enough! I don't know what is up with you guys today but it stops now! We've wasted half our time on this, what's wrong with you? Finn, you and Mike go find out what's going on with the power. Everyone else is going to sit down and stay qui - what was that?"

Puck had moaned a little, and Kurt tried not to laugh around his cock as Mr Schuester's voice filled with confusion. He could here the group shifting to listen for the noise again. The room became silent except for the soft, wet smacking of Kurt's mouth against Puck's dick and Puck's heavy breathing. Mr Schuester's voice was so full of horror when he spoke that Kurt couldn't suppress his laugh, silently shaking in a way that made Puck swear.

"For the love of God who's making out?"

There were a few mutterings from the group, mostly trying to work out who was left. Puck helped them out, his voice stained and breathless.

"We're not making out, I haven't even - oh shit - haven't even kissed him."

"Wait, Kurt? Puck and Kurt? What are you doing - oh GOD!" Quinn exclaimed when she got the message. Both boys ignored the shocked cries at this declaration. Kurt focused on sucking Puck's brain out through his cock, and Puck was a long way past focusing on anything but his own impending orgasm. He groaned again, tightening his grip on Kurt's hair. His powerful thighs trembled under Kurt's hands as Kurt hollowed out his cheeks again, twisting his head a little. Puck gritted his teeth and addressed their audience.

"Yeah, you might want to leave or start singing or some shit if you don't want to hear this. It'll be over in 30 seconds."

Later, Kurt would laugh hysterically as he recounted the next ten seconds to anyone who would listen; the sounds of bodies crashing into one another, people tripping on chairs, and several terrified voices bursting into different loud songs. The noise level became ridiculous as Puck held Kurt's hair, fucking his mouth with abandon. Kurt let him, his eyes shut in ecstasy at the feeling of his mouth and throat being taken so forcefully, relishing in the slight pain of the hand pulling his hair. Puck groaned when he came, but the sound was lost in the maelstrom. Kurt rocked back on his heels as Puck slumped in his chair, and the slender boy carefully slipped the condom of the jock's softening cock. He tied it off with practiced ease ('Thanks, Brittany!').

The lights chose that moment to flicker back to life; just in time for the gleeks to see Puck zip up his fly and Kurt get to his feet. Kurt was far too relaxed to care about the looks of utter shock on everyone's faces, instead choosing to simply walk over to the trash can to throw the condom away. Looking over his shoulder, Kurt smirked to see the entire group looking a little worse for wear; most of their clothes were ruffled from physically arguments, most of the girls had been crying, and Mike had a bruise forming on his cheek. Mr Schuesert's hair was sticking up in different directs, probably from him tearing at it, and the whole clump was tangled up from their mad dash to escape Puck's orgasm.

"Please tell me that wasn't what it looked like," Mr Schuester said flatly. Kurt and Puck exchanged a satisfied glance. Mr Schuester just groaned wearily, dropping his head into his hands.

Kurt strutted back to his chair to sit down, but Puck grabbed him at the last minute and pulled the smaller boy into his lap, slipping his arms around his waist. Kurt leaned back into Puck's chest with a satiated sigh. He'd freak out over having given his first blow job before receiving his first kiss later. Right now he'd just enjoy the afterglow and the feeling of Puck's arms around him. Not to mention enjoying the looks of total shock from the assembled gleeks.

You could have heard a pin drop in the room as the gleeks looked at the two slightly sweaty boys with wide eyes and open mouths. Rachel and Quinn looked scandalised; Finn just look horrified. The other's expressions ranged from disturbed (Sam, Artie, Mike) to shocked (Tina, Mercedes) to confused and kind of amused (Santana and Brittany). Mr Schuester still had his head in his hands. Kurt closed his eyes and leaned his head back against Puck's shoulder, smiling when he felt a gentle kiss on his neck.

"We have got to do that again," Puck murmured into his ear. Kurt quirked an eyebrow, looking at him out of the corner of his eye.

"What happened to "one time only"?" he quipped, comfortably grasping Puck's hands where they were clasped over Kurt's stomach. He felt Puck smile against his throat.

"I changed my mind when I realised how fucking HOT you are. There's no way we can not do that again."

"Could you at least not do it in front of us, please?" Artie deadpanned. The tension broke, and the room was full of noise again. Mercedes marched over with a, "White boy, what did you just do?" and Tina trailing behind her nervously. Rachel and Quinn united over their mutual offended sensibilities ("Having two gay dads, I'm happy for Kurt and Puck to express their obviously mutual attraction, but in here? With us listening?""For once we agree, Berry.") and Finn and Sam over their confusion ("Did - did they really just-?" "I - I think so." "I think I have to beat Puck up now. Kurt's my brother, kind of." "Yeah, I guess?") Artie and Mike, and Santana and Brittany were also chatting quite animatedly about it, and Mr Schuester STILL had his head in his hands. Kurt just smirked up at Mercedes as Puck nuzzled his neck and the din resumed. At least they weren't fighting anymore.