I hope you enjoy this. It is cannon until 6.08. What if Lisbon would have stopped Red John that day and not let Jane do it himself? Hopefully this will be of interest to you. Thank you. -PVB

Cracks In The Foundation - Chapter 1

His eyes were angry. She noticed the deep frown reflecting in the attic window's glass, and she felt a pang of apprehension. She knew with complete and utter certainty that he would not hurt her—at least not physically. Emotionally was another matter, and, as she neared him, it became apparent that he'd rather she not be here right now. She almost listened to her inner self and turned to leave him be for a while, but there was too much that needed to be resolved. There were too many things that needed a devil's advocate. Too many things needed to be cut and bled out in the open if there was any hope to salvage what happened from the ashes of Red John's death.

"Please go away," he growled softly. "I don't want to speak to you right now."

Right now. Well, at least he still felt he'd talk to her sooner or later. She sighed and moved a little closer to him, leaving enough space as to not oppress him.

"You are acting childish, Jane, and I want you to stop it," said Lisbon bluntly. "You've been distant and pushing me away and I'm tired of it." That was an understatement, but she'd leave it go for now.

He was up from his chair so quick that she almost stumbled back. His eyes flashed and his hands stood slack against his narrow hips. He took two calming breaths before he shook his head and chuckled darkly.

"He was mine, Teresa, mine," he told her. "You took away my chance at revenge! I am pushing you away because I can't even imagine how I am going to get over this."

"I saved your ass, Jane," Lisbon replied. "You were going to kill him, Jane! Waste your whole life rotting in prison!" She could feel her cheeks burn crimson as his eyes continued their intense burning into hers. "And for what, ten minutes of satisfaction before you realized it was the wrong goddamn decision?" Anger surged through her.

"I would have been where I knew I was going to end up! And, I wasn't going to do it for the satisfaction, Lisbon! I was going to give him the same treatment he gave my wife and child! You knew where I was going, and you lent me your car knowing you were going to follow me and take matters into your own hands. I thought we trusted each other." He sighed heavily and finally lowered his gaze and shook his head. "I guess not."

"He's dead! DEAD!" She was loud and she didn't care. He couldn't see the favor she's done him. "He's gone, which is what you wanted."

She shivered at the thought of Red John—McAllister—becoming surprised as she pushed her way into the church after killing one of his guards outside. She could still feel the way her heart pounded as she pointed her Glock right at Red John's chest and ordered him to drop his weapon. Instead of complying with her command, he aimed it squarely at her chest, and her cop instincts told her to defend herself, which she did. But more than the crack of her gun going off, the most disturbing thing about that day was Jane's reaction to it; blank and almost expressionless as he watched Red John bleed to death in front of him, knowing he didn't get his shot to exact his revenge.

"I wanted to do it myself," he told her, his voice soft but ready to roar under the surface. "All of these years…all of these things that led me to what I needed to do, and you destroyed it."

"You should thank me!" she cried in disbelief. "He's dead and he can't hurt another person, Jane! He can't claim someone else's family! Isn't that good enough?"

He chuckled without humor lacing it. "If I would have been left to my own devices, I would have eliminated him from doing that, too, while fulfilling my own quest."

She didn't think anything she'd say next would be helpful or do anything to lift his mood. He clearly couldn't see the bigger picture, and she wasn't going to push him. She hadn't forgotten his stint in Dr. Miller's care, and she didn't want that to happen again. She exhaled a short breath and shook her chestnut locks.

"I know you're upset with me, and I am sorry for that," she said, "but I am not sorry for killing him in self-defense. Would you have let him kill me, Jane?" She cocked an eyebrow at him. "I am willing to bet you wouldn't have."

He shook his head. "You already know the answer to that." He looked at her with such resolve that she didn't question his sincerity. "I trusted in you that you would let me do what you know I had to do. You violated my trust, Teresa. You took my one chance at finding peace away."

"I took a violent serial killer off the streets, Jane. I did my job. I always told you I would take him down the right way, and I did." Her voice was honey soft; she knew how hurt he was that she had led him into a trap to capture Red John. She didn't expect roses from him, but she thought he'd at least be happy McAllister could hurt no other family.

"Yes, you did," he conceded. "Congratulations, Detective Lisbon."

She wasn't getting through to him at all. "Don't be condescending. Look, I came up here because I want us to have some kind of communication open. You are moping around up here and not focusing on the new cases we have coming in. It's not professional, Jane."

"Since when am I professional?" He scoffed. "I am only tied to this job for Red John, and you pretty much handled that one. I am under no obligation to stay here, Teresa." His bluish-green eyes flashed something she couldn't make out, but she had the feeling it was surrender. "This was only temporary, we both knew that."

The ground crumbled beneath her when she realized just what he was getting at. It felt akin to someone taking a wrecking ball and smashing her soul into small, fragile pieces and letting the wind carry it away. She shook her head automatically and placed a hand up between them, palm facing Jane. She felt like a scolding mother reprimanding her naughty child, but she couldn't help it.

"You're not seriously thinking about leaving the CBI?" It came out as a loud whisper. "You're going to give up?"

She watched as he slowly reached up to the lapel of his suit jacket and unclipped the silver clasp that held his CBI badge. He took a long look at it, as if admiring it for the final time before he reached out for Lisbon's wrist. Capturing her small wrist with his fingers, he placed the ID badge into her hand and closed her fingers around it.

"It was a pleasure working with you Teresa Lisbon," said Jane, dropping his hand from her wrist. "I'm just sorry the ending of our partnership wasn't a different outcome. Thank you for the chance, Teresa. At least there was that."

It wasn't until he walked by her that she snapped out of her shock and followed him to the barn-style door that was half-way open. She couldn't believe he was actually quitting! After everything they had been through together, he was just going to pack it up when things hit a rough patch between them. She knew he'd be incredibly upset with her, but she never, ever thought in a million years he'd quit on her. She thought he cared about his job more than that … cared about her more than that.

"But…" She tried to argue, but nothing was coming out of her mouth. Her hand jutted out and captured the back of his suit jacket, forcing him to turn around to face her. "Is this really it?" she finally managed. "You're giving up? You're so pissed off at me that you are just going to leave?" Her heart was crumbling, her voice fighting to stay calm as tears threatened.

"You knew this was only a temporary thing, Teresa," he replied, sadness lacing his tone. "This would be a lot easier if we didn't have so much history."

"You're punishing me. The team," she rephrased, her voice betraying her strong front with a quiver. "It's not fair. You're…you're not being fair."

"I never said I was a fair man, Teresa," he said. "Don't you worry about me. I'll be fine. I won't do anything stupid, I promise."

"This is stupid!" she shouted at him now, frustration taking hold. She felt like she was losing a loved one. And, in a twisted way, she was. "You're being stupid!" She brought a shaking hand up to push a lock of loose hair behind her ear. "And if you want to be stupid I can't stop you!"

He smiled feebly. "Thank you, Teresa." He bent to press his lips unexpectedly to her forehead. "I will always appreciate the things you've done for me. I'm sorry things have come to this."

She closed her eyes as his warm lips touched her equally scorching skin. She felt like she was falling through a black hole, unable to find steady ground in which to brace herself on. When she had come up here tonight to speak with him, this was not the way things were supposed to go. However, if he wanted to run from things and place blame squarely on her, she'd not beg him to stay, no matter how desperate she was.

"Jane?" she whispered as he reached the door, his hand on the jamb.

"Yes?"

"Promise me something?" Low as a murmur.

"Mmm?"

A tear fell, betraying her strong stance. "Promise me you'll never come back. If you leave, you leave for good." She reached up with a shaking hand and swiped at the second of betraying tears to fall.

"Clean break?"

She nodded her head. "Clean break."

He hesitated, then nodded. He did not look back as he exited the attic, leaving her there alone in the quiet. She looked down at the CBI badge in her hand and pocketed it. She let the tears come freely now. She'd get it all out of her system before she told her team that Jane had abandoned them, abandoned her.

As she trembled in the dim light of the overhead lamps, she pondered if she had done the right thing and if Jane's anger with her was justified. Perhaps it was, but walking out on her was not. She was sure in that moment that she'd never forgive Patrick Jane. She'd never allow herself to fall in love with someone who blamed her enough to leave her; who clearly didn't love her back and only used her to meet his own end.

She'd never make that mistake again.