I rested my head on the bathtub's edge, soaking in the hot water. We had just arrived back to the Piedmont base after the battle in Corvium. It was nighttime and yet I still felt fully awake, fuming with anger at the betrayal of Cal. Another Calore prince to add to my list of people who have lied to me.
Cal and I took two separate air jets in the unfortunate event that I would cause a flight malfunction. Farley didn't want to risk it. After landing, Cal had searched for me and wanted to talk but I ran far away from him. I had snapped and shocked him to make my point clear that I want nothing to do with him anymore. My family welcomed me back home, relieved. They also gave me my room to myself to give me space. Killing people is not an easy task to do. I needed time to reflect. To reassure myself that I am not a monster and will never be as bad as Maven.
I stand up from the water and step out onto the mat. Grabbing a towel, I wrap it around myself and shiver, despite the warm steam in the bathroom. The bath helped me calm down, soothing my anger at Cal temporarily. I'd have to face the heartbreak eventually though. For now, I'm going to try and focus on the task at hand for the sake of the cause. The Red rebellion.
I make my way to my room, my family fast asleep already. I switch the light on and shut the door behind me, suddenly noticing a figure step out from behind where the door was. I tense up, ready to call my lightning and fight whoever this intruder is. My mouth opens up to shout but whoever's hand is quicker to place it over, muffling any noise.
"Mare! I just want to talk."
Cal. Cal snuck himself into my room to talk about what? To my annoyance, my heartrate is moving faster now. Probably from the adrenaline of me about to fight.
I rip his hand away from my mouth, shocking him in the process. He yelps and pulls his hand back, frowning. Looking at Cal, he seems stressed out over what happened in Corvium. Good. It's nice to know I wasn't the only one affected over this.
Crossing my arms, I tell him, "There's nothing left to talk about. You've made your choice." I keep my face neutral so that he can't read the heartache underneath.
"Mare," he says desperately. "I told you I'm in love with you. I want you at my side. I can't refuse the crown, it's my duty but I can still choose to bring you with me."
"No," I whisper, tears beginning to form. "You told me you didn't want it. You lied. You're a traitor."
He takes a step toward me and I automatically take one back. Furthering the distance between us. The room is hot because of Cal's distress, and I almost forget that I'm only wearing a bath towel. I grip the towel tighter around me.
"I didn't actually think…" Cal's brows are furrowed in frustration. "I told you already that I didn't think that they would ever want me, an exiled prince, on the throne again."
"And I didn't think that you wouldn't choose me," I snap, revealing a little bit of my heart. I need to learn to hide it better. "After all, you told me you wanted me more than anything in this world."
"I do," he stresses. "I'm in love with you, Mare Barrow."
I keep my face stoic and my tone bitingly harsh. "You're in love with the crown."
Suddenly, Cal closes the distance between us and roughly crashes his lips against mine. I feel his stress, heartbreak, fear, and frustration. I try to pull away, but the room is small, and in seconds he has me pinned against the wall. He's holding my forearms tightly, avoiding my wrists. I'm nervous the towel will slip and fall, revealing my naked form. I know Cal's seen it already but I'm still self-conscious about my scars. My heart aches for his love, for his touch but I push the feeling down.
"Cal," I speak against his lips. He continues kissing me, desperate to show me how much I mean to him. "Cal!"
He pulls away, still holding me. His ember eyes stare into my plain, brown eyes with desire and love, but his brows are furrowed in frustration.
"Do you still love me?" he asks, eyes imploring. My chest aches and every part of me screams yes. I hesitate. I want to tell him no. I want to tell him I could never love a Silver king who would never choose a Red girl. How could I still be in love with a liar?
I bite my lip and look at the window. The tears start to come, and I attempt to blink them away. "I don't love you."
Cal kisses me again, flicking his tongue against my bottom lip for entry. I remain as still as I can, trembling with hidden emotion.
"You're a liar," he murmurs against my lips.
"I'm not," I whisper, closing my eyes. His warmth embraces me comfortably and I'm angry at myself for letting it.
One of his hands moves to tilt my face up towards him but my eyes remain closed. My own arm falls limply to my side. I refuse to face him. I refuse to admit defeat.
"If you were telling the truth, you'd be a mess of electricity right now."
He's right. I would be putting up more of a fight. I would have called upon a storm lightning itself to get him away from me. He would be on the ground, body cramped in spasms of shock if I weren't lying.
Cal kisses me roughly again, allowing his own heart full of broken promises to mesh with mine. Pushing whatever feeling is left for me into his actions. This so-called love he has for me. His hands find my waist, gripping it tightly. He pushes his body into me so the wall presses into my back. I have no escape. I try to remain blank, but my body betrays me when I feel his arousal for me between my thighs.
My mouth sighs open and he tastes me with his tongue, his hands softly caress my breasts through my towel. I keep my hands at my sides, but I don't push him away. I think he knows. My body and soul crave him. I'm in love with him. And I hate myself for it even more.
He takes his flamemaker bracelets off, trusting me not to attack him based on how angry I was earlier.
"You're a liar," I whisper with hostility.
"I know," he says as he drops the towel around me onto the ground.
"A traitor," I seethe, as he kisses and sucks on my neck. He simply murmurs in agreement. My body is naked and vulnerable in front of him, and I try not to shake. In fury or nerves, I don't know.
I let him pull me over to my bed numbly, lying me down as he undresses himself. I look at his muscular body, still attracted to him despite what he agreed to back in Corvium. I mentally curse at myself.
He places my nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around as he plays with the other. They perk up, signaling my attraction to him and I stifle a moan. It doesn't prevent me from insulting him.
"You're a damn-"
My back arches when his fingers stroke my clit and I clench my teeth in pleasure. He starts fingering me, coaxing a moan out.
"Silver."
I moan that last insult out, face heating up in embarrassment. His fingers pump in and out of me faster, and feel how wet I am for him. Cal looks up at me from his position, a mixture of lust and love in his eyes. As well as an expression of amusement.
With urgency, he positions his throbbing cock at my entrance. I hate my body for betraying me. I hate the idea that I can still be turned on from him, so easily. I'm weak. My hands grip his broad shoulders but I don't push him away. I glare up at him the best that I can, wanting him to know that I'm still upset with his decision.
"You still love me," he sighs, rubbing his tip against me.
"You hurt me."
"I'm sorry," he whispers. He pushes his cock into me, and my walls tighten around him in sheer pleasure.
"Ah."
I squeeze his shoulders and he thrusts aggressively inside of me, letting out both of our hurt. Tears stream from my eyes now, and he kisses them away. My body moves with him, and we're both panting heavily from the pure ecstasy of raw emotion.
Gripping my hips, Cal angles himself so he can hit pleasure spots deeper inside of me. I grasp at the bedsheets now, my breasts bouncing in rhythm as I whimper for more. He watches me, mesmerized by my state of arousal.
"Don't stop," I groan, feeling myself closer to orgasm. Curse me. He continues pumping in and out of me at a steady pace, filling me deeply. I grip his shoulders as I near climax and he starts to kiss my neck.
"Oh!" My body arches and my legs shake uncontrollably as I orgasm. Overwhelming feelings of pleasure rock my body in waves and I'm clawing at his back, walls clenching around his cock.
Cal groans at the contractions on his shaft and I feel him become harder, thrusting into me faster for the sake of his own pleasure. I'm scratching at his back now, moans spilling out of me. Lust takes over his expression as his brow furrows in concentration.
"I'm going to cum soon," he says. And I feel his muscles tense up as he finishes inside of me, groaning. He pumps a few more times inside of me, and I kiss his cheek.
Pulling out, he looks down at me with nothing but love. He lies down beside me, and we hold each other, coming down from the sex. I can't tear my eyes away from his ember ones.
"I love you."
My face reddens from embarrassment at the word still.
Cal continues to look at me intensely. "Do you?"
I sigh. "I do. I still love you, Cal."