A/N: It's me again. Do you have any idea how boring geography revision is? If I'm still alive by Friday, I will rejoice at the fact that I can drop it next year (Y).
Anyway, enough about my crappy life. Boredom led me to write this. Don't think it's that good, and it's unedited, but hey, may as well post it.
Tell me what you think :)
This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
I don't think I've ever been in such an awkward situation. I was sat in the Cullen's living room, Edward and my left, Jasper on my right, and I was staring into the eyes of the only person I'd ever loved and lost in my life.
Well, I could actually stop with loved.
Because I'd never loved anyone, not since her. And not before, her, either.
Alice.
So there I was, fidgeting with my hands because God there was no way I could look at her without crying. Regardless of everything that had happened between us, there wasn't a day that went by without me thinking about her.
The biggest regret of my life.
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait?
She looked beautiful, tonight, like she always did. She had on this black dress that made every curve on her body stand out. And her hair was just like it used to be, still stuck out in every possible direction.
"So, Bella, what've you been up to recently?" Esme, bless her, tried to break the silence that had settled. Edward, the bastard, had invited me to see his family because I hadn't been back to Forks for two years.
And I'd agreed, because I'd never in a million years have thought that he would have invited her as well.
Because he knew what had happened between us. Everything.
And yet there he was, studiously ignoring the daggers I was shooting into the side of his head with my eyes.
Just one chance
Just one breath
"I'm a journalist."
"Oh, really? For what?"
"Just a little magazine in Seattle. You wont have heard of it, I don't think." I saw Edward shoot me a look out of the corner of his eye – ok, so I lied. I didn't want them all to know how far I'd gone recently.
Because I wasn't just a journalist. Not really. I was on the board of directors of one of the biggest companies around, who just happened to have their headquarters in Seattle.
My Dad had told me about them, and I'd applied without too much enthusiasm – I hadn't expected to even be considered for a job.
But, well, here I was, I guess.
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know
I saw Alice watching me curiously, her head tilted to one side, her azure eyes trying to catch my own brown ones, but I was looking desperately anywhere else.
"How's Charlie, these days?" That was Carlisle. He's been pretty good friends with my Dad, back in the day, before everything. But then Charlie had moved away when he's gotten remarried to Sue Clearwater, and I guessed they hadn't talked much since.
"He's good. Enjoying retirement. I was there the other week, actually." He'd ended up moving a few towns up from Forks, but it was far enough away that you couldn't get there and back in the same day if you wanted to stay for more than an hour.
"Bella, will you do me a favour and get me another drink?" Edward's got something written on his face, and I don't like it one bit.
"Get it yourself." I smile back sweetly, when in reality I just really want to hurt him. Because the swine's got something planned.
I know it.
That I love you
I have loved you all along
"But I need to speak to Emmet about something." He shoves his glass into my hand and then he and Emmet stand up and leave, wandering into the other room.
Sighing, I put the glass on the floor – he can get his fucking drink himself. I wasn't playing whatever game he had in mind.
Then I hard the door open, and two voices call out. Jasper and Rosalie. I'd been wondering where they'd gotten to. Esme and Carlisle jumped up, and I realised then that I was about to be left in the room alone.
With her.
So I stood up quickly, too, and seized the glass from the floor, practically sprinting into the kitchen.
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I heard someone come in after me after a few minutes, so I straightened up.
"I'll be out in a second."
"I'd rather you didn't leave, for now. I need to speak to you." I froze, my heart suddenly pounding a mile a minute in my chest.
No.
I knew it was her, her voice was unmistakable. And I could feel her gaze on me, like it had been so many times in the past.
I turned, slowly, trying to prolong the inevitable. She was stood by one of the doors to the kitchen. Both that and the other were shut.
Fuck, I couldn't do this. Why the hell had I let Edward bring me here? I should have left when I had the chance.
I couldn't bear to look at her, to have the reminder of what I'd so stupidly lost thrust in front of me.
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
"How've you been?" I looked at her in disbelief for a few seconds, before realised that she actually expected me to answer. I had no idea where everyone else was, but I was pretty sure all of them were in on it.
"Fine."
"Bella, please. I … I don't want things to be awkward between us." I couldn't stop the slightly hysterical laugh that escaped me. Things could never be like that again.
Ever.
We were either together, or we weren't. There was no inbetween, because what I felt for her couldn't be ignored.
Even now, I could feel the echoes of the desire I'd had, no, still had for her, start to emerge. Feelings I hadn't had for years start to reinvent themselves, and it was all because we were in a room together.
Fuck knows what would happen if she came any closer.
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
"You know as well as I do that that will never happen."
"I want a chance to explain. I couldn't before. I know you hated me and - "
"Alice, I never hated you. Even now, I don't hate you. I can't. No matter how hard I try … I'll never hate you. You have to know that."
"I didn't know that, though. You never called, so I thought …"
"I never called because I had no idea if you'd want to hear from me. I thought … thought that you didn't want to be with me anymore. I thought that was why you didn't tell me you were leaving."
"What? No, Bella. No, no, no. I didn't tell you because I wasn't sure if I wanted to go. Sure, studying in Australia would be a great experience, but it would be nothing without you. I didn't tell you because I wanted to stay, with you, and I didn't want you to know what a decision I'd turned down so I could be with you."
"You … you weren't leaving? But … how could you give that up for me?"
"Because I loved you. I still love you. I've tried not to, but I cant stop. And I cant get over how we left things. I know, now, how easily things could have been resolved if we'd talked, but things got fucked up and we never figured stuff out.
"But I'm taking the chance now. I love you and I still want you. Do you still want me? Could you still see yourself with me? Regardless of what we said to each other the last time we spoke?"
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
I was going to have to thank Edward for this later. Because this everything I'd wanted to hear, everything I'd needed to hear. Because if she still loved me then I could survive.
"Of course I can. I never stopped loving you, either." And then she'd crossed the room and her lips were on mine and God I don't know how I've lived without that feeling.
She's pushed me back against the kitchen counter, and it's digging into my back so hard that it's actually painful, but I don't care.
Because she's here, with me, and she's kissing me like there's no tomorrow.
And hell, I wouldn't care if there wasn't, if I got to spend the last day of my life with her.
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
"Well, looks like you two made up." I was so caught up in the moment that I didn't realise that the door had opened and that Emmet and Edward were both stood there, smirking.
Bastards.
We separated just enough so that Alice could turn to glare at both of them, too, because, really, they'd had to ruin the moment, hadn't they?
"Do you mind?" She'd managed to catch her breath back more than I had, but she didn't sound as annoyed as I was sure she would at any other time.
"Nope. Please, carry on."
"Emmet!" Rosalie, coming to the rescue. Now there was something you didn't see every day. But even she couldn't smother a smirk when she saw the position we were in, even though I didn't think it was that bad.
But it probably was.
We'd never really been … um, conservative when we'd been together last.
At all.
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know
We all went back into the other room, then, but she didn't leave my side. When we all curled up on the couch, later on, to play some sort of game that I wasn't interested in, I didn't hesitate to wrap my arms around her waist and rest my head on her shoulder, breathing her in.
I'd missed this.
And I thought we were both pretty fucking stupid to have not realised how easily we could have fixed things.
But in a way, I was glad – we were both older now, and our chances of staying together now were a lot stronger than they ever would have been before.
But still.
That was a lot of Alice-time I'd missed out on.
And I was planning on getting it all back as soon as I could.
So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
"Come home with me tonight." It was a quiet whisper into her ear (I did not want anyone else to hear), but I knew she'd heard me by the soft shiver that ran through her.
"Are you sure?" She turned around slightly, so that she was close enough for me to kiss, and I did, claiming her lips in a chaste kiss (after all, her family were probably watching us).
"Yeah, I am." She went back to playing the game, then, and I just sat and watched. Well, I watched her, not anything else. By the end of the night I didn't even know what game it had been, let alone who won.
But I could tell you every single expression that flitted across Alice's face when she was playing, and the times that she lost, because she would get the tiniest (and cutest) little frown on her face.
And when she won, I swear her smile lit up the whole room.
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know
By the end of the night, I didn't even care if the rest of her family knew what we were going to be doing when we got home.
Because she'd been driving me insane for the last hour.
She was a tease, alright.
Not that I was going to complain.
After all, she was my tease.
"Well, I'd better be getting home, guys. Gotta catch up on my beauty sleep and all that." Edward was the first one to suggest leaving – because no-one wants to be the first – and the rest of us soon followed.
As far as I was aware, Edward still lived in the little cottage out in the woods somewhere, that Esme had bought and done up for him. Emmet and Rosalie lived in New York, but they were here for the weekend.
I had no idea about Jasper, except that he didn't live locally. I hadn't seen him for years. And I didn't have a clue about, Alice either, but I was sure that was about to change.
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
"You want me to drive you to the hotel, sis?" Edward's eyes were shining with amusement, and I shot him a dirty look when I knew he was looking at me.
But what would friends be if they didn't annoy the hell out of you?
"Nope."
"Bella giving you a ride?" Emmet raised his eyebrows in our general direction, and Alice stuck her tongue at out him before grabbing my arm and pulling me towards the front door.
"Bye Mr and Mrs C!" Was all I had time to shout before she shut the door behind me and led me to my car. As soon as we were there she'd spun me around and pressed my back against the door, her mouth on mine once again.
I groaned into the kiss, my hands going to her waist, the material of her dress riding up to reveal the soft skin of her thighs to my wandering fingertips.
Her hands were in my hair, pulling with just enough pressure to drive me crazy without actually hurting me.
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
I pulled back first, completely and totally out of breath, but her lips descended on my neck, gliding over the exposed skin.
"Alice … I think we should get in the car. Before …" I trailed off, and my legs buckled when she bit down on the skin where my shoulder met my neck.
"Fuck, Alice … car … now." I was far enough gone that all I could focus on was what she was doing to me, and I knew that we really, really, shouldn't be doing this.
It was outside of her house, after all.
"Why?" Her lips were on mine, not with any pressure, but enough so that I knew she was there. One of her hands trailed lazily up and down my side, and I shivered automatically under her touch.
"Because … parents. Brother … inside. We should, g-g-go back to my place."
"Ok." And then she was gone, and a rush of cold air replaced the warmth that had been firing through me at her closeness. I swore under my breath, ignoring the gloating smirk she had on her face, and climbed into the car.
That I love you
I have loved you all along
The second I started driving, her hand was at the base of my shirt, running along the skin the was exposed when it rode up.
"Alice! You're going to make me crash." I could barely even keep my eyes open as it was, but when she ran one of her fingers across the seam of my jeans, I they actually did just for a second, before I got control of myself again.
Not that that was going to make her stop.
"It's be totally worth it." Her lips were at my ear, her voice lower than usually, and she wasn't making this easy for me. I knew that there was a fair way to go before we were home and dry and I was so close to just pulling over and letting her have her way with me on the side of the road.
Hmm, now there was an idea.
No, it'd be better to get somewhere where we wouldn't be interrupt – she was going to kill me if she kept this up for any longer, 'cause now she was dragging the zipper down, and yeah.
Couldn't take that anymore.
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
So I pulled over, and within a second I'd pulled her onto me and my hands were at her waist, keeping her pressed close to me. She smiled against my lips before she kissed me, harder than before, and I was already so, so far gone.
She pushed me as far back against the east as she could, just enough so that she could drag my underwear out of the way, and then her she'd thrust three fingers into me and God, this was going to be over far too quickly.
Not that she actually seemed to care, because she wasn't slowing the pace down, either. She's pulled back from me slightly, and I bit down on her bottom lip harder than I meant to, and she groaned in response, shifting so that I could feel her heat against my stomach.
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
I could feel how close I was already, and my hips were moving of their own accord, matching her fingers with every thrust they made, and I could already feel the blissful oblivion that I was hurtling towards starting to take hold.
Alice's lips left mine and blazed a trail of liquid fire along my neck, and when she curled her fingers and bit down, hard, on that spot on my neck that never failed to drive me insane, I felt my orgasm begin to take over.
She kept pressing soft kisses to my lips until I gained the ability to respond to them.
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go