Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters and stories belong to FOX and David Shore.
A/N: Post Joy. Cuddy reflects on what happened. Please review. Thanks. Love, Lawabidingchild.
Children
I didn't expect this. This wasn't supposed to happen. But it did. And I sit here. I have an empty nursery and no child.
House has been chastising me about the baby for this past week. He called me a bad mother. I wanted to hit him and scream at him and tell him just to get out of my life. Then he comes over and tells me I'd be a great mother. He said that after telling me I'd be a poor one. He never had faith in me about this child. Now he does. Has he lost his mind?
Have I?
I mean, sure, I kissed him, but does that mean something? Does it mean that I just needed comfort after the fact?
What I thought I could have. Everyone's right. I'll never be a mom. And that just hurts. It stings so much that my heart breaks. It makes me need House.
I notice the little teddy bear I got for my prospective daughter. I held it up to my face and realized that I should have tried harder. I should have tried to convince her that I should be the mother of her child.
But it's her baby. It's her decision. She has rights over the child that I don't. I tipped my head back in agony.
Why is it that children break more hearts than adults? Why do I feel that I'm never going to be a mother?
I still don't have an answer. Just that I want a child more than anything else. And children seem to leave me more than others.