So this is a poem I wrote a long time ago when I was reading the Anne Rice series. It's kinda about Lestat the vampire and the beginning of his relationship with Louis and later in the Queen of the Damned. Not slash (wierd I know) unless you want to see it that way. I'm kinda planning on submitting it for a writing contest made mandatory by my teacher. So I seriously need feedback. I still have nine more lines to write for it to meet standard, so ideas? Hopefully enjoy!
~NsBd
The Vampire Lestat
He says he was not ready
He says he had not enough time
To decide the inevitable
That he will be forever mine
I suppose there was some deception here
I had given him two choices
Only one to which he could adhere
One; the one he had no choice but to cull
Bind him with knowledge or lack
The other, a decoy surrounded in the falsity of control
Let the last sun set, then with no more tears to weep
Dine on sweet blood
Till the moon turns red equally
Why should superior beings hide in shadows?
Why must?
We should be able to roam free in the night
With no limit to our bloodlust
We could touch the sun
And bathe ourselves in sin
So why do you rally against me in hate?
My vampire brethren
Did u enjoy? Yes, no, maybe so? Ideas? Review. Is this good enough for the contest? I don't wanna win but this is getting graded.