Nothings gonna harm you…
"I'm just tired Dean really, a good nights rest, and I'll be good as new"
I sighed and sat down on the bed with him, rubbing his back soothingly. "You look like Hell, Sammy, I'm not sure sleep'll do it"
Brown eyes hid beneath the dark brows that scrunched in annoyance, "Stop being such a jerk, Dean. I'll be fine"
i sighed, "Alright. I'm gonna go get us something to eat, Kay?"
He held his head in his hands and nodded slowly, "Okay,"
I grabbed my jacket, "and don't answer the door while Im gone." I warned.
I heard him snort as I closed the door behind me.
Not while I'm around...
"Hey Sammy, I got us some burgers, and pie!" I was met with a stale silence. "Sammy?" I frowned. "…I'll eat all the pie, if you don't answer me bitch," The silence smiled at me. "SAMMY! This isn't funny! Come on out!" I searched the small room, looking everywhere, even places I knew my nearly 6 and a half foot brother could never fit, silently praying to the God I didn't believe existed that he would magically appear. He didn't of course.
Demons are prowling everywhere nowadays . . .
I grabbed the keys to the Impala and jacked the motel door open, almost smacking into my brother.
"Dean?"
"Sammy!" I dropped my jacket and keys to hug him tightly. "Where the hell were you? You scared the crap out of me!"
"I was getting some aspirin from the front desk," he answered calmly, " what's your damage, Dean?"
"I thought I told you to stay here,"
He frowned, " You're not my parent, Dean, and I can take care of myself,"
I'll send em howling, I don't care, I got ways…
"I know you can, Sammy, but that yellow-eyed Demon's no joke, and we still don't know what exactly he's planning,"
He rolled his eyes and fished his burger out of the fast food bag, "Does it really matter? We have a job to do in the meantime, I can't just be holed up in the hotel all the time,"
"How about when you get one of those headaches?" I questioned, fishing my own burger out and taking a bite.
"Especially then, Dean, they're my visions, not yours, how can you know who the right person, or where the right place is? You're not seeing it, I am."
"I know that Sammy, but-"
"No! No "buts" Dean, I'm not five anymore, okay?"
"I'm supposed to look out for you, Sammy,"
Others can desert you not to worry, whistle I'll be there…
"Yeah, Well you can't always be there to protect me, Dean,"
"Yeah, well I can try my damn best,"
"Well…. then stop."
"…What?"
"Stop. Stop trying to always protect me. It's not doing either of us any good,"
My throat went dry.
"You've gotta be kidding me," I growled, my voice rasping slightly, "Sam, I'm your big brother, I'm always gonna be there to look out for you. Asking me to just stop… that's… that's just freakin' crazy!"
"Yeah, well, you're gonna have to learn to get over it Dean. Because one day, you may really have to kill me, and I don't see how you could do that at this point."
"I wouldn't let it get to that," I announced. No room for discussion, it would never get to that, I wouldn't fail him like that.
Demons'll charm you with a smile, for awhile, but in time…
"You're just one man, Dean, you can't save everyone,"
"I'm not trying to save everyone, just you" I knew I was just a normal human, but that wouldn't stop me from keeping him safe.
He shook his head and gave a dry chuckle, "I'll never understand you, Dean. Why are you willing to try so hard? Because Dad told you to watch out for me?"
No. Of course not.
"I'm sorry I ruined your childhood Dean, I mean, I know you had to waste it taking care of me, but now?"
"You're my brother Sammy,"
"So because we're all each other has left now? You want to keep me safe, what? Because you couldn't save mom? Or dad?" the baritone rose a bit. "Because I don't think that's a good enough excuse,"
Excuse? It wasn't supposed to be an excuse. Why were we fighting again?
" Sammy…"
He held out a hand to stop me, "I don't wanna hear it Dean, I'm warn out, and not in the mood to argue with you anymore. I just want to eat my burger and go to sleep, okay? Can I do that?"
I moved to the other bed, snatching the fast food bag and taking it with me, " Yeah, okay, Sammy, night."
Nothing can harm you…
"Dean,"
I awoke slowly, hoping I had misheard and no one had called my name in such a horrible voice.
"Dean"
Nope. I sighed and sat up slowly. "Yeah?"
"Dean,"
The empty bed space next to me sank in a bit. "Are you really awake, or sleep awake?"
What was the difference? I could hear him, couldn't I?
"What?" I mumbled.
The smell of soft rawhide leather invaded my nostrils, "….Sammy?"
"I'm sorry," he whispered pulling me into a tight hug. "I didn't mean to say all of those things," He sighed and ran a hand through his ragged hair. " I'm just… scared. I don't know what's going on, or how any of this is going to play out. And you seem so sure that we're going to make it through okay, and I was… jealous that you had all of this so together," A silence passed. "Yeah, i figured you were still kind of asleep because you haven't commented on how I sound like such a girl." He laughed lightly. "But even talking to you like this helps me feel better. It always has,"
That's right, he used to do this when we were kids too; after a nightmare or something…Come in the middle of the night and spill his guts to me, then by morning, nothing had ever happened.
"I'm kind of glad we're back together again. " he admitted. "I mean… I'm not happy about the circumstances…" another moment of silence, Jessica's, "But, still glad none the less,"
The fear and tears in his voice had all but disappeared, it was now soft and calm, familiar. What came after he stopped crying?
The cheap mattress springs creaked in protest at the addition of another body on such a small bed.
"If you were awake, I'm sure you'd comment on how gay this is, but I can't help it."
An incredibly long silence, long enough for a million other words to have been exchanged, but weren't out of respect for the silence.
"Thank you, Dean," He spoke softly, " For always being there for me, and protecting me, you don't know how much it means to me." An after thought, "oh, and I'll go back to my own bed before conscious Dean gets up."
Unconscious Dean smiled and wrapped alarm around the bigger man next to him, like he had every night without a second thought. "Love you too Sammy"
Not while i'm around