A/N: I still own nothing except the unrecognisable ideas. And I make no money from this.

Fair warning: I blame my competitive spirit and sleep deprivation for this. It is supposed to be funny.

Choose Swiftly or Not At All

If you asked Severus Snape why he become Death Eater, and he decided to give an actual reply, he would say that he had no choice. He would have a lot of memories to support such claim. After all, who in their right mind would follow a man who would punish a victim? Who would take seriously bullies that claimed to be the "good guys" when they felt their depravity on their own skin? Certainly not a Slytherin.

But a powerful wizard without means to leave the battlefield his homeland was turned into, had to choose a side. And Severus Snape after seven years of education in the school lead by the champion of Light had no reason to believe joining Light was even an option.

But in truth, he had a choice. And this is the story of how he made it and why Snape never even bothered to ward the memory of it. After all, both of his masters come to the same wrong conclusion without his help. Unfortunately, Severus Snape was Master Occlumens, so I can not describe to you the look on their faces after they stumbled upon the following memory.

The following story as far as I am aware is the truth:

Severus Snape stared at the letter in his hands with wide black eyes and slackened expression. There was, of course, no one around to see it, but even so, it was highly unusual for him to be this shocked.

It would be a lie to say that this was the letter's fault. After all, the letter simply offered to a talented "Potion Master to be" a scholarship from Seraphina Picquery's Foundation. No, it was not the letter but the implications of it.

This meant he could go to the USA and forget Voldemort ever existed. This meant he could become a Potion Master without having to take the mark. This meant he had to choose. This meant that for once in his life Severus Snape could choose what to do.

He blinked reigning his shock in. He pinched his hand. It hurt. The letter laid on the coffee table. It said exactly the same things it said before he dropped it in shock.

So, to sum it, he could either proceed with his plans, take the mark and become the youngest Potion Master in centuries or pack his thinks and make his way to America before his friends even realised he ditched them.

Just as Severus Snape decided to believe that for once things were going his way and he could truly freely choose, there were two soft "puff" sounds,

Severus cast a quick diagnostic charm on himself and detection charms on his coffee. Weird. According to results, he was healthy and clean. His tea wasn't tampered with either. So, why was he seeing Lily clad in a short white summer dress? And with wings. Severus blinked. Yep, white feathery wings. This landed the phrase "you are an angel" a whole new meaning. And that meaning looked positively divine.

Lily gave him a tentative smile. There was a chuckle from the side. Severus quickly turned his head to see who else was there even as he wanted to scold himself for being so careless: 'there were two puffs! Merlin, what was he thinking?'

The sight that greeted him was as shock inducing as seeing "angel Lily" had been. Because there stood Bellatrix Lestrange in a form-fitting black dress - a really revealing black dress. Her skin had a red tint and she was spotting black leathery wings and black furry tail with red highlights on its end.

Quite frankly, while Lily looked gorgeous, Bella looked damn hot.

"I haven't realised Heaven finally found out about the wonders of seducing tactics." Chuckled the she-devil smugly, " It was about the damn time."

Severus leant back in his chair so he could keep eyes on both apparitions currently invading his flat.

"What? I wasn't seducing anyone! I was just happy-"

"To see him? As if you would admit if you were seducing him!"

"I wasn't. I was just happy, he considers not getting branded like common cattle!"

"Aww, so defensive, what do you even have against such a cool tattoo?"

"As unbelievable as you might find it I didn't come here to argue with you about taste! I come here to help, Sev, with his decision."

"Oooh, are you gonna tell him how running away like a coward is a right thing to do?"

Severus Snape would of course never let himself be subjected to such undignified squabble, but as he was running out of ideas of what could cause him to see these two apart from them somehow appearing in his flat without so much as disrupting his wards, he decided that in this case discretion was the better part of valour and silently observed.

"No, I am going to tell him that taking the stipend would free him from this pointless war where he would be nothing but a pawn, anyway."

"Ooh, you hear it, Sevvie, she doesn't think you would make it into a rook."

"That wasn't-"

"You wouldn't listen to someone with so little taste would you?"

"I-"

"Beside the Death Eater's robes would look gorgeous on you."

"It would make him look like a murderer you mean." Hissed enraged Lily.

"No, it would make him look fierce," grinned Bella.

"You don't care about him, you just want to keep the eye-candy."

Bella laughed. "Look, who is talking."

"Yes, because if he leaves I'll see him often." deadpanned Lily.

"You aren't gonna run with him?!"

"I don'ลง want him to run! I want him to keep his hands clean."

"Oh, yes, because leaving everyone he knows in this war isn't running away."

"You manipulative-"

"I am glad you recognise my talent-"

The last line was a bit too much for the angel Lily and she tried to scratch out devil Bellatrix's eyes. Coincidently in that moment, Severus Snape decided that whatever this was he could enjoy the show. After all how often can a man watch such beautiful witches wrestling on his floor?

They disappeared with the first knock on his door in the morning. The window of opportunity closed itself. Severus yawned and went to face his fate. Or, as devil-Bella would put it, get the cool tattoo.

Appendix A, from the Enigmatic Headmaster: The Complete Bibliography of Severus Snape by Nicolas Flamel, who according to that text taught the man the art of Occlumancy.