Detective Kathy Swanson looked up from her well earned dinner as a well dressed young man slid into the booth opposite her. 'And to what do I owe this pleasure, Mr Jones.'
'Would you believe I saw you here and wanted to say hello.'
Dipping a chip in sauce she snorted. 'No.'
'Fair enough I suppose.'
She ate her chip and waited.
'Gwen Cooper.'
She laughed. 'Oh hell no. You are so not giving her back. I'd take bloody Harkness before her.'
'Him I can handle.'
She paused at the smile in his eyes, it didn't reach his face but it didn't have to. Shaking her head she made her braids dance. 'Takes all types.'
He chuckled softly. 'I actually wanted your opinion on the woman.'
'No, you really don't.'
'Yeah, that is a common reaction to her name from anyone who hasn't shagged her.'
'And a few who have no doubt. But. Isn't it a bit late for a background check or do I even want to know why your asking.' She picked her glass up and sipped her red wine.
'Probably not.'
Kathy barked a sharp laugh. 'And now you want to give her back.' She set her glass down. 'Oh hell no, if you want to swap her for someone else do not even start that sentence.'
Ianto smiled knowing exactly who she was referring to.
'Hands off Davidson, he's one of the better ones.'
'I know, and if he ever wanted a change he only has to say the word.'
She snorted. 'You'll forgive me for not passing that on.'
'That isn't everything I wanted to speak to you about, unofficially of course.'
'Go on.' Letting a wary tone seep in between them.
'Is there anywhere Cooper could be sent at the conclusion of her employment at Torchwood, if that were to happen sooner rather than later.'
'Timbuktu. If that's even a place.'
'I was thinking a little closer to the UK but I'll yield you the point.' He sighed. 'There's not really a place for her in the police is there.'
She snorted. 'There never was and if she'd had any female instructors she'd never have made it out of training. But now I'm curious about what she'd done.'
'If I was going to tell you, which I'm not because I only know you in that our roles have parallel points of contact. I might use words like gross insubordination. If I was going to tell you, which I'm not.'
'They are rather serious words Mr Jones.' Picking her glass up again.
'So are the ones I'm not using.'
Kathy set her glass back down and leaned closer. 'What the bloody hell did that stupid cow do.'
'Is that a question?'
'No.'
'To change the subject slightly. Hypothetically. What do you think Torchwood does?'
'Pisses all over the Cardiff Police.'
'Other than that.'
She shrugged. Two could play as her mother always said. 'Officer Davidson seems to think you lot deal with the "spooky doo" crap that happens around the place like Mulder and Scully in that telly show. I only ever see cases that remain unsolved and investigations impeded as we get asked to step aside for your flashy boss and his shit driving. The man's a bloody menace with his SUV.'
'He does take some getting used to.'
'Harkness bangs on about how above the local police and government you are and no one knows what you really do so of course there are some weird theories and everyone knows someone who knows someone who worked there and died.'
'That also takes some getting used to.'
She shook her head. 'As far as I'm concerned, you lot are on even footing with my ex's family and their secretive ministry jobs.'
'Which ministry might that be?'
'One they never told me about. His sister used to call me a muggle, whatever the hell that means. Looked right down her snooty nose at me and you lot are right up there with them.'
Ianto gave her a very polite smile. 'I believe I know which ministry that might be.'
'Typical.' She muttered. Picking her wine glass up and draining it. 'So what are you going to do with Cooper.'
'That seems to be the question everyone wants an answer to.'
She laughed. 'You're not going to tell me, I get it. It's been a pleasure Mr Jones.'
'It has, and I'll leave you to your dinner.' He rose to his feet and gave her a wave before turning and slipping away.
Kathy laughed to herself. 'Who was that masked man.' And returned her focus on her meal not wanting it to get cold.
AN: I know I haven't answered the Gwen Cooper question but I had the image of Ianto talking to Kathy Swanson outside of their jobs and this happened. She strikes me as a fun character and it was a shame she had so little time in cannon. The next installment isn't far away, I'm editing it and hope to have it posted soon.